Chapter nine

'Lila! Dinner's ready', Natasha yells for the third time to the girl upstairs. Again no response. Natasha is alone with Lila tonight as Clint took the boys out. 'Lila!?' Natasha sighs before heading up the stairs and heading to the girl's room.

'Lila, come on, dinner's…', her voice trails off as she sees Lila curled up on her bed, tears streaming down her cheeks. Natasha quickly walks over to her and kneels in front of her. 'What's wrong, sweetheart?' she asks softly as she strokes Lila's hair. Lila closes her eyes and starts to cry harder. This makes Natasha move to sit on the bed, pulls Lila up and holds her in her arms. 'Shh', she comforts Lila. Lila wraps her arms around Natasha's neck and holds her tightly.

'I don't want to go away tomorrow', Lila whispers after her tears slow down a bit.

'Why?' Lila lets go of Natasha and stares down at her hands, 'Lila, please?'

'I will be sleeping with Coop and Nate in one room. I don't want them to know I feel so sad when I'm alone', the girl admits softly. Natasha sighs and hates herself at this moment for not realising sooner that Lila takes a lot after her. Which means she has been hiding her grief from everyone around her.

'You want to tell me?'

'Every night, when I'm in bed, I miss mom so much. I get so sad', Lila looks up at Natasha and sees nothing but understanding there.

'What's holding you back from going to your dad or me?' At this questions Lila just shrugs her shoulders. Natasha's heart aches for the girl. She knows that Lila's not doing it on purpose and probably really doesn't have any idea why it's so hard for her to talk to someone. 'You know, Lila', Natasha lifts the girl's chin to look at her, 'you and I are a lot alike. It's hard for me, too, to talk about what I'm feeling. So I really do understand'.

'Now comes a but', Lila jokes a little. Natasha laughs.

'But I also know that I always feel better when someone knows what going on in here', she points to Lila's head.

'Dad?' Lila asks. Natasha nods.

'Yeah, that someone is your dad. What I'm saying is, Lila, is that when someone knows what's going on, they're always there to lean on them'.

'Even if I don't want to talk?' Lila asks.

'Even then. Even if you just want a hug. Or if you just want to cry. Words are not always necessary when you want comfort', Natasha wraps her arm around Lila's shoulders.

'Thank you', Lila says softly against her chest.

'I'm always here for you, Lila. I promise', Natasha kisses the top of her head softly. 'You really don't want to go to your grandparents?'

'No, I do want to go. Can I call you if I need you?'

'Always, you don't even have to ask', Natasha promises the girl. 'And if you're really sad and want to come home, I'll come and get you, okay?' Lila nods and finally a real smile breaks out. 'Now, come on, pizza's getting cold'.

Natasha and Lila watch a movie as they eat their home made pizza's. Natasha's happy to see Lila more relaxed and genuinely laughing and smiling. Somewhere in the middle of the movie Clint comes home with two very tired and dirty boys. Cooper and Nathaniel head upstairs immediately to get showered and probably will go straight to bed. Clint gives his daughter a kiss on top of her head before walking to the kitchen to get some water.

'So what have you girls been up to?' he asks. Both girls give him a glare.

'Clint, we're watching a movie, be quiet', Natasha scolds him making Lila laugh out loud. Natasha winks at him before wrapping an arm around Lila again as they continue to watch their movie. Clint laughs and heads upstairs to check on the boys.

By the end of the movie Lila is practically asleep and makes no fuss to go upstairs to go to sleep. After Natasha made sure she was in bed, she headed back downstairs. She falls back onto the couch with a sigh. It bothers her that she just taught Lila what Clint has been teaching her for years. It's always better to talk to someone about what's making you sad.

'Want to tell me why you girls ganged up on me?' Clint asks with a hint of teasing as he comes down from the stairs. He walks over to the couch and sits next to Natasha. She immediately leans against him and is glad he wraps his arms around her. 'What happened, Nat?' he asks.

'She's so much like me', Natasha whispers, 'I don't want her to take after me'.

'Why not? You're amazing', Clint kisses her hair softly.

'She's been crying herself to sleep for weeks, Clint. I found her upset by the thought of going to Laura's parents and sleeping in one room with her brothers', Natasha sits up and looks at him. He looks shocked by what she tells him. 'It's so hard for her to talk to someone about her feelings that she hides them. Sounds familiar?'

'Shit', Clint groans softly at hearing about his daughter's distress. 'What happened tonight?'

'She didn't come down for dinner so I went up to her room. She was crying. When she calmed down some she told me what was wrong. That she gets incredibly sad when she's alone and doesn't know how to talk about it'.

'What did you say?'

'That I understood. And then I try to teach her what you've been teaching me for years. To let someone know what's wrong and just knowing you're not alone makes it a bit better', Clint smiles warmly at her words, 'she still wants to go. I promised her she could call when she needs to and that we'd pick her up if it got too bad'.

'Sounds like you did good', Clints wraps his arm around Natasha again. She leans against him willingly. 'Maybe take some of your own advice tomorrow? Talk to me?'

'I promised, didn't I?' she answers immediately.

'I want you to talk to me because you want to, not because you think you owe me', he tries to reassure her. To make sure she doesn't feel pressured.

'I want to', Natasha says with determination, looking up at him. Clint smiles and kisses her softly.