Hello,
next chapter for You.
Enjoy and Happy New Year :)
VII
It was so strange to stand in the middle of the great hall in the Land of Departure with Vanitas next to her. Right after the battle, they had met at Master Yen Sid's Tower, and for many hours they had discussed their next actions. Then they said goodbyes and finally went home.
"So, what now? Do we somehow celebrate our great victory?" asked Vanitas with a mischievous smile.
Aqua also smiled a little and nodded; she saw that Ven did the same. Only Terra was very suspicious and wary but didn't comment on it.
"You still owe me an apple pie," added Vanitas after a moment.
Aqua chuckled when she heard that. She felt the very surprised looks of Terra and Ven on the back of her head, but she decided to ignore them.
"You have to wait just for a little longer," she said, placing a hand on his shoulder. "Come."
Vanitas snorted.
"I have heard that already," he replied but walked after her, nonetheless.
They went to the kitchen; she started to prepare a pie and Vanitas sat at the table with his arms crossed over his chest. Like always full of himself and with a strong aura of self-confidence he could easily fill with his ego the whole room. But it didn't bother her, on the contrary, she even missed it a little. For so long she had a feeling that she was alone, that every burden is for her and only her to carry. With him next to her, that awful feeling blurred and vanished. She felt his strong presence, even though she didn't look at him, and that was enough to comfort her.
She loved Terra and Ven, but they couldn't grant her that relief. She felt a strong need to protect them, she was responsible for them, and it was a burden that she happily took, but they weren't much of a support for her. Not in the way Vanitas' presence was.
At one moment, she stopped peeling the apples, and without looking at him, asked.
"Are you all right?"
She knew him enough to guess that he didn't want to show his weakness to anyone, so if he was injured somehow, she had to pull that information out from his stubborn mouth.
"Of course I am. Do you think that old geezer could corrupt me more than I already am?"
She placed the knife on the desk and turned around to him.
"You know that is not what I ask about."
Vanitas rolled his eyes.
"I'm fine, stop looking at me like that," he barked, suddenly irritated. Like always he couldn't accept someone's concern with ease.
Aqua exhaled to collect herself a little. There were so many feelings in her heart and mind; happiness, relief, concern, tiredness, anxiety, and… love. She fought the urge to come closer and touch him, embrace him, because she knew better, that after so long time apart, he again needed time adjusting to it.
"I can't stop, because I'm too grateful to see you in one piece," she added with a playful smile on her lips. "You have to get used to it."
"You overreact, as always. I don't like to repeat myself but I'm tougher than that."
Despite his words, she saw the tiredness cloud his eyes. She knew he wouldn't admit it, but for sure he also had a hard time. But she also knew that it was better to leave this topic, especially when Ven and Terra came to the kitchen.
"What about that pie?" asked Ven, when he also sat at the table.
"Long story," replied Aqua, who didn't want to go into details.
"Yeah, long story, full of awful canned beans, and a very depressing old train station," added Vanitas, with a sarcastic grin.
"Nobody asked you," stated Terra, who was still standing in the doorway, as if he didn't want to be in the same room with Vanitas.
"Nobody wanted your opinion," replied Vanitas.
Aqua sighed, feeling a growing frustration; she knew it wouldn't be easy.
"Boys, could you leave this hierarchy fight for a better time, please? I know you must establish who is the alfa male in this pack, but we are all tired and I don't have enough patience to listen to it."
"I don't…" began Terra.
"I'm not started yet," added Vanitas with a smile.
"And you will keep it that way," finished Aqua.
"You are so boring," murmured Vanitas, then stood up, and did the best thing he could in that situation, simply went away.
For a while, there was silence in the kitchen, the only sound was the knife cutting apples.
"Do you seriously want him here?" Terra broke the silence first.
"Yes, I do."
"It is madness, he doesn't belong here."
"It's not you, who will decide that," said Aqua with barely contained irritation; she didn't stop her work, but her attention switched to the man.
"Maybe not, but I say what I see. He is a villain and nothing you say or do can change that. You are blinded by something I don't understand."
"Terra, please, don't make it worse," said Aqua, still not looking at him. "I don't want to argue about that. Not today."
"So when will be a good time to discuss it?"
Finally, Aqua left the knife and turned around to Terra.
"Probably never, I have made up my mind."
"Aqua…"
"Terra, better stay away from it," said Ventus, who also didn't want to quarrel. "Believe me, you don't want to be involved."
"What is that supposed to mean?"
Aqua felt an awful dryness in her mouth. She didn't want to start this conversation, not now, and probably not ever. She saw a confused look on Terra's face and a watchful one on Ven's.
"That he saved me, Ven, and first of all, you. We owe him that. Everyone deserves a second chance, you should know that the best."
She didn't want to say that, but she knew that this statement should calm Terra down better than the truth. The truth would be hard to swallow for him now.
And she was right since Terra lowered his eyes and nodded slightly.
"I don't understand it, but if you trust him, I will trust your judgment."
"Thank you, I would appreciate it," said Aqua and went back to preparing the pie.
Aqua found Vanitas fast asleep in his room; obviously he was more tired than he wanted to show. She didn't want to wake him up, but he opened his eyes before she managed to close the door.
"Sorry, I didn't want to bother you, but I brought you some pie," she said and placed a plate on the nightstand.
He sat on a bed and watched her with still a little bleary eyes.
"I was lulled to sleep by Terra's babbling," he said and a grin stretched on his lips.
Aqua chuckled and sat next to him in the bed.
"I know he is sometimes a little stubborn…"
"You mean stupid."
"Stubborn," she corrected him. "The same as you, but it is also his home, so we have to live with that."
Aqua knew what Vanitas thought about it when she noticed dark humor in his eyes.
"Maybe he will get a stroke when you tell him the truth," he added.
"The truth?" Aqua asked in a little mocking tone.
Vanitas looked at her and then he came a little closer and touched her neck with his bare fingers. She had almost forgotten how it was when he touched her, and she realised how much she missed that. Through all these battles and storms she tried not to think about it, she tried to be focused on the mission, but now it hit her with full force.
She closed her eyes and placed her hand on his. She felt as his fingers flinched slightly at her touch, but she tried to ignore it; the same as she tried to withdraw tears that started to gather under her eyelashes. There were too many moments when she was afraid that she would never see him again. Despite his strength and bravery, he also was a human being, and like any other, he could be killed. He seemed to not pay attention to that fact, but sometimes she was terrified.
Suddenly he took his hand away, so she opened her eyes and saw irritation on his face. He placed his elbows on his knees and did not look at her anymore.
"I don't get it," he said angrily. "Why are you crying? There is no point…"
"Van…"
"If you think that I will be nice…"
"Van…"
"...to that loser, because he is important to you…"
"Vanitas!"
"What?!" he spat and finally, looked at her.
She felt a strange mixture of irritation and amusement when she saw his confusion; for sure, he misunderstood her action.
"Could you shut up for a moment?"
"I don't…"
Without a second thought, she placed a hand on his mouth.
"Stop babbling, especially about Terra. I don't want to think about him now, and certainly, I'm not crying because of him. Maybe you never felt that, but sometimes people cry from happiness."
"What stupidity," he mumbled behind her hand.
Aqua signed, then smiled slightly and withdrew her hand.
"Forget about that," she added with a little chuckle and finally she did what she wanted to do from the beginning of that absurd discussion. She came closer and kissed him, taking from him every argument he wanted to use.
After a moment she felt his hand in her hair and it caused a chill on her back. A little stunned at first, he quickly regained his composure and kissed her back, strongly, eagerly, as if he already understood how much he had missed her. Had he missed her? Probably he would never admit it aloud, but Aqua didn't have any doubts. She felt it in his touch, in his kisses, and the heat of his body.
She pushed harder and made him lay on the bed. Supported on her hands, she looked at him from above and smiled when she saw how confused he still was. She never was so open with her feelings, and it had to be a little too much to comprehend for him. But he would have to get used to it because she wasn't going to stop herself anymore. She lost too much time already.
"I love you," she said quietly but with confidence.
His expression didn't change too much, at first, but after a moment there appeared something she didn't expect - anger.
"Stop that bullshit," he said and sat up, making her withdraw to the other side of the bed.
She should have known he would react that way, she knew him too well, but it was a little painful, nonetheless.
She wasn't going to explain or apologize for what she had said, he had to understand that by himself. She couldn't resolve his feelings; it was his, and only his thing to process. So she stood up, fixed her clothes, and went to the door.
Before she went away, she turned around and smiled at the still angry Vanitas.
"This is how it works, don't expect anything less," she said, and not waiting for his answer, she left.
When she entered her room and closed the door, she rested her back against it and exhaled heavily. She still felt his taste on her lips, and his touch on her skin. Her heart was pounding fast in her chest, but at the same time, she didn't feel nervous, but maybe a little disappointed. She wanted more, more than that, but for now, it had to be enough. Vanitas needed time to get used to the new situation, to these feelings, which were so foreign for him. Aqua had to be patient, and show him step by step that everything would be different - better.
There was a part of her that hoped he could come here, but on the other hand, she didn't expect that. He was too stubborn and confused to do it that way. Now probably he cursed her for saying such stupid things, for confessing her feelings so openly. For him, the whole idea of love, attachment, or simple sympathy was hard to comprehend and understand. In his life, there weren't any of these emotions and they made him very cautious, suspicious even. And because he was who he was, he reacted to it with anger; that was the only way he knew.
But he was lucky because Aqua understood that. She accompanied him for so long that she easily recognized many of his moods, and knew when he was truly angry, or it was only a defence mechanism. Today she clearly saw the latter, after her words, under the mask of anger and irritation, was hidden fear. He didn't know how to react, to respond to her affection, even though he might feel the same. Maybe someday he would answer correctly, but it wasn't this day, not today, not tomorrow, and probably not in the near future. But she would wait for him. Now, when they all were together, she wasn't afraid anymore.
She lay on her bed and looked at the ceiling when she touched her lips and smiled. For the first time in so long, she felt happy and safe, and she wanted to celebrate that moment. Perhaps tomorrow her worries would come back, but now she wasn't going to think about it. She fell asleep thinking about Vanitas and the ways to reach him.