VIII

The morning was shiny and cool, but Aqua quickly felt any warmth leave her when she saw Ventus in her doorway. He was breathing heavily and looked very worried.

"Aqua, they are fighting," he said without any preamble, but it was enough for Aqua to jump off her bed and go after him.

She heard noises before she came to the training field, and after a moment she saw Vanitas and Terra standing face to face with Keyblades in their hands. The former smiled mischievously and was in a very touting mood, but the latter was ready to tear him apart; anger almost emanating from his body.

"Shut your mouth! You are a lunatic!" shouted Terra, pointing his Keyblade at Vanitas.

On the other hand, Vanitas was completely calm and stoic, with Keyblade on his shoulder, looking relaxed and amused. He probably saw Aqua first, but that didn't stop him from continuing his game.

"Just because you don't see it, doesn't mean it does not exist," he mocked with a grin.

"I feel sick only from hearing that. If you lay a hand…"

Vanitas' smile stretched even more.

"I have laid a lot more than a hand."

"You son of a bitch!" screamed Terra and rushed to Vanitas.

"Stopga!"

Aqua cast her mightiest time spell on him, and it stopped Terra in place.

"Enough! That's enough!" she said when she stood between them.

"What is going on here?" Aqua asked even though she certainly knew what had happened.

"Nothing in particular," answered, a still very amused, Vanitas." I have only been so kind and took from you the burden of telling this moron about us. But I'm afraid he didn't believe me."

Aqua sighed, fighting the urge to hit Vanitas in the head; sometimes he still was that insufferable little dick as in the past.

"You shouldn't…"

Vanitas shrugged.

"You didn't say it is some fucking secret."

"It isn't, but you shouldn't use it that way."

He only rolled his eyes.

"Boring."

"No, Van. Boring is to start a day by separating you two."

Because she didn't want to discuss it with Vanitas further, she released Terra from the spell. It was so sudden, that he barely regained his balance.

"Aqua! It is insane, please be rational, he is a degenerate and dangerous, he can't live here," said Terra when he regained his composure, his Keyblade still in hand.

"He spoke the truth."

"What?"

"Everything he told you about me is true," specified Aqua, and that closed Terra's mouth for good because he couldn't say a word for a long while, even though he tried to begin a few times.

In the end, he turned around and looked at Ven, who stood a few meters away.

"Did you know, Ven?"

Venus seemed a little uncomfortable with that question, but in the end he shrugged and nodded.

"I can't believe this," Terra said finally, then he hid his weapon and went to the castle. But before he entered the castle, he added not looking at them. "Aqua, I never knew you would be so reckless."

Aqua curled her fingers into the fist and shook her head.

"Thanks, Van. You were very helpful," she said, not hiding her irritation.

She didn't look at him, didn't want to know if it affected him somehow.

"I'm going to eat breakfast, feel free to miss that event," she added and also walked to the castle.

Breakfast was quick and quiet, mainly because only Ventus was with her in the kitchen, and probably he knew that she didn't want to discuss the last incident, so he was silent.

Fortunately, for the rest of the day, neither Terra nor Van bothered her with their unfinished business, so she could focus on her own tasks. She visited Radiant Garden, where she bought a few things she needed in the castle, and went to the Mysterious Tower, where she discussed further actions with Master Yen Sid. She also wanted to go and see Kairi, but it was almost evening, so she left it for another day.

That break allowed her to think about her next move and how to solve her problem. For sure she had to act quickly, the more it escalated, the harder would be to deal with it. She knew how to deal with Vanitas, after all they went through together, she had enough experience on how to talk to him. On the other hand was Terra, who didn't want to listen to her at all. He was stubborn, and maybe also a little stupid, and he always pretended to know better. She never could change his mind when he made a decision, so she knew that it would be very hard to do.

But she had changed too, more than Terra thought. She was harder now, more determined, and she wasn't going to withdraw from that battle. It was too important for her.

She found him in the library, where he sorted Master Eraqus' documents. He was leaning against the desk and with a grim expression was reading handwritten notes, but it seemed they weren't the reason of his bad mood.

Aqua stepped closer and placed a hand on his shoulder for comfort and support; she knew exactly what he felt at that moment.

Terra curled his fingers into fists and clenched his jaw. Aqua almost felt the darkness that was gathered under his skin, ready to emerge and overwhelm him one more time.

"It's Xehanort's doing, not yours," she said quietly but with confidence. "You must understand and accept that truth."

He didn't respond at first, still struggling with his own remorse, but then he closed his eyes and shook his head.

"It shouldn't have happened. I should be stronger, wiser. All my life he was teaching me how to be a proper warrior and Keyblade welder, but at the hour of the test, I had forgotten everything and failed miserably."

"It's not…" she began, but he quieted her with a wave of his hand.

"It is true. And nothing you say can change that. I'm responsible for Masters Eraqus' death, Ven's situation, and the responsibilities pushed on you. You ended up in the Realm of Darkness because of me…" he cut suddenly and took one erratic breath.

"We all made mistakes, more than a few, but it has changed us for the better. We are stronger and wiser now. We won't repeat our mistakes - I'm not going to allow it, you have my word."

Terra managed to smile weakly, but it didn't reach his eyes; he still looked at the notes. Aqua also took a look and recognized Master Eraqus' handwriting - some notes about future tasks he never had the opportunity to realize.

"Master Eraqus wouldn't want you to drown in your guilt and remorse."

"I know, I hope so, but it is still painful and sometimes… sometimes I wish that it was the Master who had made the final blow."

Aqua signed hearing that, although wasn't surprised.

"And sometimes," he continued. "I'm really afraid to open my eyes and look in the mirror. I'm terrified of what I could see there. That I wouldn't recognize myself, that I saw only darkness there."

"What I learned from my time in the Realm of Darkness is that this darkness exists in every one of us. I found it even in myself."

"You? I thought…"

"Nobody is free from darkness, so you shouldn't blame yourself for it. What Master Eraqus told us about it was wrong, you can't destroy it in you, you only can tame it and learn how to live with it."

"But how?"

Aqua took his hand and squeezed it lightly.

"I'll help you. If I can deal with Vanitas' darkness, I can also deal with yours."

Terra visibly winced at the sound of that name, but said nothing about it and only nodded.

"Thank you."

Aqua smiled.

"You're welcome."

For a moment, Terra was staring at her hand on his, then he looked at her eyes, confusion strongly marking his face.

"Aqua…" he began with hesitation. "Are you and him… Is this for real?"

It was a lot better to speak about it when Terra was that calm and meek.

"Yes, it is."

"How did that happen?"

"It's a very long story, believe me. And I know that it is hard to accept for you, but you must understand that after everything I had gone through with him, he became very important to me."

Terra shook his head with disbelief, but after a while, he smiled, and that time his smile reached his eyes.

"I can't believe I'm saying this, but if he is important to you, I will try not to smash his ugly face on the nearest wall."

Aqua chuckled and patted his hand a few times.

"It is everything I would ask of you, and I'll keep an eye on Vanitas to make sure he will behave."

Terra joined her and laughed.

"I want to see that."

"You will see. I can be very convincing."

"I don't doubt that. In the end, you made him fight for our cause."

Aqua didn't correct him, even though she knew that Vanitas fought only for his selfish purposes. But it wasn't important now, especially when Terra was ready to give him a chance. The only problem was whether Vanitas would want to accept that chance.

Vanitas was in the kitchen, surprisingly in the company of Ven. They both sat at the table, and… ate ice cream. Aqua stood in the doorway and for almost a minute she was watching completely stunned by the scene.

"Hello, Aqua, want some?" asked Ven, who first noticed her presence, between spoonfulls of ice cream.

She saw as Vanitas looked at her out of the corner of his eye when she came closer.

"Where did you find it?" she asked, joining them and taking a cup of chocolate and caramel ice cream.

"Ven was so useful and brought it from Twilight Town," Vanitas replied.

He looked unusually calm and pleased with his dark coffee ice cream. Aqua should remember that this kind of sweets made him amicable; she didn't expect that.

"Yeah, Lea invited me to their new home and tried to convince me that the best ice cream in the whole universe is the Sea-salt ice cream, but I didn't buy it. They are really crazy about it," said Ven, who ate the strawberry one with white chocolate cream.

"I heard about it, it is very popular in that world. Maybe I should try it." Aqua began to wonder.

"But don't come to me when you feel sick," replied Vanitas with a sarcastic smile.

Aqua rolled her eyes and took another bite of her dessert.

Surprisingly, it was Ven who started to laugh at Vanitas' comment; for certain something had changed because he was almost relaxed even though his dark brother sat in the same room. Maybe there was some dynamic or connection between them Aqua didn't know about. But it was a positive change. If Ven could accept him, and give a chance for them to develop some kind of true bond, maybe with time they would become the real family they were meant to be. Aqua couldn't wish for more.

After the meal, Ven excused himself because he wanted to discuss something with Terra, and with these words, he left them alone in the kitchen. The tension grew up when she remembered how they split apart this morning. She still felt a little irritation under her skin as she thought about it, but on the other hand, Vanitas looked completely unaffected by it, at least physically.

"Are you still sulking over that fuss in the morning?" he asked without looking at her.

"I'm not sulking," she said, a little offended. "I'm simply mad at you."

"But you should be grateful, I saved you from a pointless discussion with that fool."

Aqua put her cup to the sink, turned around to look at him, and crossed her arms.

"That fool said that for my sake he wasn't going to attack you anymore."

Vanitas snorted.

"So he is even more foolish than I have thought."

Aqua exhaled to regain her patience, then she came closer and placed her hands on the table.

"We all make some concessions for the sake of each other. Maybe you…"

She saw as the anger flooded his face.

"Don't expect…"

But she cut him by shaking her head.

"I don't expect anything from you, I only want you to be a part of this." She made a move with her hand as if she wanted to show him the whole castle.

His anger only deepened.

"But maybe I don't want that!" he barked.

Aqua sighed, then she walked around the table and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Then, reconsider what you truly want," she added and kissed him softly on the cheek.

She didn't wait for his answer, but as she walked away, she looked over her shoulder to see the grim expression on his face.

For the next few days, Aqua didn't see Vanitas too often. He came from time to time at breakfast, but if he said anything, it was mainly to Ven. In some sense, Aqua was glad that he could associate with Ventus, they were so different, but at the same time, they had so many things in common. The more she watched them, the more she could see it. Of course, Van was rude and did not pay attention to his language, but they found a common ground in many aspects. Especially when it came to joking about Terra.

On the other hand, Aqua was a little worried that he intentionally avoided her, but she decided not to push him, to give him time for adjusting to the new situation. So she didn't stop him either when she saw him open a Dark Corridor and disappear into it right after breakfast. Whatever he was doing, it was his, and only his thing to do.

Aqua was standing on the balcony and was watching the beautiful sunset on the horizon. She placed her elbows on the balustrade, taking a glass of wine with her. This view calmed her nerves and made her feel more confident about everything. At that exact moment, she didn't have any doubts, however, she still remembered her mistakes. But she promised to herself to never again repeat them.

"Do you want a drink?" she asked when she felt a dark presence in the doorway.

"How nice. I had thought that you would still want to lecture me," said Vanitas, coming closer.

"I want to, but I know better to save my breath. You won't listen, anyway."

She passed him a second glass, which he took without hesitation, and after a while, he also rested his hands on the balustrade.

There was silence between them for a long while.

"Do you have some idea what you want to do now?" she asked finally.

Vanitas sipped the wine and shrugged without his usual confidence.

"I have no idea."

"Maybe you can help me somehow?"

"Forget about it. It's deadly boring."

Aqua snorted, however, she didn't expect a different answer, so she dropped that topic.

"With time you will find your way, you will understand what is important to you," she said instead.

Vanitas rolled his eyes.

"Are there courses for Masters to speak this kind of meaningless crap?"

Aqua smiled, not at all offended.

"No, it comes to us together with the title," she joked in answer, but then added more serious. "But it's not meaningless, finding a purpose in life is the most important task for us all. I know mine, but do you understand yours?"

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye.

"Do you know what is important to you?" she added.

He snorted, visibly offended by her question.

"Of course I know that, I'm not a child."

"It's curious, sometimes you behave like one."

She saw irritation on his face, but he said nothing and moved his eyes to some distant point.

She drank her wine and also looked at the horizon, where the Sun had disappeared already. For a few minutes, they stood there in silence, but it wasn't this kind of peaceful silence that did not carry any anxiety with it. At least for Aqua, because when she looked at Vanitas, she noticed how dark his face was. Maybe it was only the evening light, but it seemed as if something started to bother him.

"What is going on?" she asked after a while.

He flinched, momentarily startled by her question.

"Nothing," he barked.

For certain it wasn't nothing, but Aqua knew better than to push him too hard. So she only placed a hand on his, which was curled on the balustrade.

"I said it's nothing," he repeated but did not withdraw his hand.

She nodded, accepting his reply, even though she knew it was a lie.

He didn't look at her, his eyes still stuck at some point in the landscape, and the frown on his face deepened with every moment.

Aqua was waiting patiently for him to make his mind, and finally, she felt a flinch on his hand, and suddenly he took it and cursed.

"Van?" she asked, truly worried.

"Fuck it!" he snarled, turned around, and walked away, slaming the door and leaving a completely stunned Aqua on the balcony.

That evening she didn't see Vanitas again, and she didn't find him the next morning, either. He had vanished, without any leads. And he didn't come back the next week, or the next month, and not the next year, either.