When Rick pressed the button in the elevator his stomach had turned into a knot again. He knew very well that a lung transplant was a high risk surgery. There were no guarantees that Brianna would make it through. He wished that Drew had been there. He would have known exactly what Brianna needed tonight. Rick had no idea. But he was determined to make sure she didn't feel lonely.

He stepped out of the elevator to a hallway which felt vaguely familiar. Drew in the smell of… hospital.

The past hit him so hard he stumbled and caught himself against the wall.

It was the smell of a time when he lay and stared at the ceiling with his hands fisted so hard they hurt. Of looks filled with pity, of the future seeming like a bottomless pit. Of relentless pain and the nausea of heavy painkillers.

Brianna, he reminded himself and fought to shake of the memory. He leaned heavily against the wall and focused on breathing. He smelled cleaning detergent and reheated food. Probably disinfectant. Just like then. But today he was here for Brianna and nothing else. She needed him.

He kicked his leg to get rid of the receding phantom pains, and realized he hadn't been up here since he left the hospital after the accident. The orthopedic ward, where he had been, was two floors above him and the hallway looked exactly the same. No wonder it all came back now.

"Rick!"

He looked up and met with a dark glare. It was Nina Alvarez, arms crossed over her chest.

"Hi," Rick said slowly, still shaken up.

"Kenny said that Drew has been in a fight!" she hissed. "And that he is in jail!"

Rick almost felt grateful that her outburst forced his mind back to the present.

"I don't know what happened. He…"

"Don't you understand what this could mean for your chances to adopt Brianna?!"

Oh yes, he understood exactly. But he refused to worry about that tonight. It had to wait. At least until tomorrow.

Her finger dug into his chest.

"If you aren't completely serious about your responsibility for Brianna, then it's best for everyone, especially her, if you back out now! She has been shuffled around the system her entire life! She needs adults she can trust!"

Rick swallowed a harsh response. Nina was only looking out for Brianna, and he could hardly blame her for that. He looked her squarely in the eye.

"Drew and I have never been more serious. About anything."

She nearly growled.

"Tell Brianna! She has been abandoned way to many times! She is worried!"

Ricks heart clenched.

"I am here now," he said softly. "I came as quickly as I could."

Nina softened. A little.

"Yes," she muttered. "It is probably best if you go to her."

Her phone ringed. She looked at the display, before she gave Rick a dismissive wave and turned her back to him.

He soon found Briannas' door, stopped and took a deep breath before he knocked and looked in. Brianna sat on the bed and hugged something to her chest. She brightened for a moment when she saw him before disappointment came over her face and she turned away.

"Hello Brianna," Rick said, mostly to her hair.

"Hi," she mumbled. She drew breath with obvious effort and a wheezy sound that grated on Ricks nerves, and was on oxygen she got through a nasal cannula. He hesitated at the door.

"May I come in?" He asked.

She shrugged.

Well, it wasn't a no, so he sat down in a plastic chair beside her bed. The room had a slightly fresher smell to it, he noted relieved.

"I spoke to Kenny earlier," he said softly. "He said they have found lungs for you."

She nodded, still hidden behind her hair and her hands gripping -it was a book, Rick could see now - so hard her knuckles where white.

"Are you nervous?"

She snorted. He couldn't blame her. It was the most stupid question he had asked in a long time.

"I suppose you heard that Drew is in jail? He almost gave me a heart attack."

Her silence felt like a solid wall.

"A colleague of mine is working on getting him out." Cooper had promised to pull some strings. He had been a cop for 25 years. Pretty much every police officer in San Antonio owed him. "Drew will get her as soon as he can."

She fidgeted. Opened the book, leafed through it and closed it again. It was the lion, the witch and the wardrobe, Rick noted.

"Shouldn't you be… at work or… in New Mexico… or something?" she mumbled. She had to stop to breath between every few words.

"Why? You don´t think I dress like this on my day off?" Rick tried to joke. He still wore his entirely black SWAT-uniform. It was ridiculously fearsome even without the heavier gear and his weapon, which he had left with his team.

She gave him a look that clearly told him that he wasn't at all funny.

"You can't skip… work to be here!" She sounded almost angry.

"That's for me to decide," Rick said, his voice leaving no room for discussion. He couldn't understand why she was suddenly so upset. "I didn't want you to be alone tonight, Brianna. I won't leave until this is over."

"I am not… alone! Nina is here!"

"Oh yes, I can see that," Rick said sarcastically and gestured to the rest of the room.

She stared at the book in her lap.

"For real! Just… go to work! I can… take care of… myself!"

He cursed Drew more every second for not being here.

"I don't doubt that you can. This is not about that." He decided to try something else. "Do you like Narnia?"

He actually knew that she did. Drew had made very sure to tell him.

She glared at him.

"You are just… trying to distract me," she said and put the book away on the side table.

Rick couldn't help but smile.

"Absolutely. Does it work?"

She shook her head wildly.

He didn't really know what he had expected, but this wasn't it. Frustrated he tried to remember if Drew had mentioned something else she would be interested in talking about.

"I may prefer being alone instead of uncomfortable silence," Brianna said suddenly.

Her sense of humor was definitely intact.

"Touché. If you want to be alone I can wait outside." The chair scraped against the floor when he stood. "But I won't leave. If you change your mind, just shout."

He had reached the door before he heard her mumble.

"You don't have… to pretend… to care."

He turned around so fast he nearly stumbled over his prosthetic.

"What?"

She crossed her arms and straightened, met his eyes squarely for the first time. Her face turned to steel.

"I get that you… don't really care! Not… really. Just stop!"

Rick stared at her.

"Where did that come from?"

"I am actually… not stupid! Just… leave!" She started to cough so hard she had to stop talking.

He stepped through the room and sat down at the bed beside her.

"I definitely do not believe that you are stupid," he said and forced his voice to sound calm. "But I don't pretend anything. Why would you think that?"

She couldn't answer. She coughed and breathed hard for some time, before she sniffed and dried her eyes.

"Drew… is not… here," she forced out, as if that would explain everything. Her voice was quiet, but the look in her eyes hard.

Something clicked in Ricks head. He thought about what Nina had said earlier.

"No," he agreed. "But it is because he decided to meet TC at a bar. I don't know if you know TC, but pretty much anything can happen when he is around."

She almost -almost- smiled at that.

"That sounds… like TC," she agreed quietly.

"There is nothing Drew wants more than to become your dad. I promise. And he will apologize for this at least a thousand times. You will be fed up with hearing it."

She was quiet for a long time, leaving Rick groping for a good way to continue.

"I am sorry that I haven't been able to be here with you before," he said at last. "Work has been intense. I had no idea that you would show up, you know. And I am really happy about this, too," he added and wondered why that made him feel embarrassed. "I always wanted to be a dad."

She watched him closely.

"Do you know…" she gestured to her chest. "…everything about CF?"

Rick thought about the giant stack of thick, incomprehensible books about Cystic Fibrosis that Drew had bought and read every chance he got.

"Definitely not everything," he said. "I am trying to learn all I can. But I really need your help. Is there something you want to tell me?"

There was, apparently. He listened for a long time when Brianna talked about how long her breathing treatments took, the cost of her meds, how much time she spent at hospital and on and on. When she began talking about life expectancy for patients with CF Rick decided it was time to step in.

"From what I understand," he said. "You will be much better after the transplant."

Something about the way her shoulders slumped told him that was the wrong thing to say.

"That is not sure," she mumbled. "There might be… complications and…"

"Are you trying to deter me?" He asked, half joking.

A glimpse of something in her eyes. And he realized with a jolt that that was exactly what she was trying to do.

"It is better… if you change… your mind now." She whispered, voice thick, face turned away again. "Than later."

What on earth had she been through? He suddenly felt like beating someone up. Preferably some of her earlier foster parents, whom obviously hadn't been good enough.

He gripped her shoulders. She stiffened, but he didn't let go.

"Brianna," he said, voice sharp. "If the judge decides that you are ours, then you will be ours forever. What happens to your health doesn't matter at all for our decision. You won't get away. We will not change our minds. No one will change their mind. Okay? Do you understand?"

She swallowed loudly and looked away. Rick wanted to hug her, but he wasn't sure she would allow it.

A hard knock on the door interrupted them and Nina stepped in.

"Rick," she said. "Will you stay? All night?"

"Yes. As long as needed." He squeezed Briannas' shoulder. "And Drew will come to, when he can."

Nina looked relieved. But Briannas' eyes had suddenly turned dark.

"Brianna," Nina continued. "I am so sorry, but…"

"…another kid needs you," Brianna said, voice empty. This had obviously happened before. Many times.

"It's an emergency, and…"

"It's okay," Brianna bit out.

Nina spent some time hugging Brianna, telling her good luck and how sorry she was, and promised to come back as soon as possible. Everything at the same time. Then she was suddenly gone.

"Not the first time that happened?" Rick asked.

Brianna shook her head, looking sullen and went quiet. Rick tried to come up with something else to talk about.

"Where you and… Drew a secret?" Brianna asked suddenly. "Your relationship? Because… you are gay?"

That he did not expect.

"Why do you think so?" Was she just curious? Or was she trying to provoke him intentionally? "Did Drew say so?"

"No. But he said… that you have been… together like… forever." She watched him, head tilted to the side. "But Jocelyn… said that Drew… had a girlfriend here… Kristy, or something."

He shouldn't be surprised. Drew had told him many times how fast the rumor mill worked at SAMH. But it made him uncomfortable that Brianna had heard all the gossip about that particular topic.

"Yes. We kept it secret." It didn't feel like the best time to talk about that. But on the other hand, would there ever be a good time?

"For a long time?"

"Yes. Almost nine years."

She stared at him.

"Whoa! Did no one… know?"

"No. We were so deep in the closet it was practically Narnia."

"But…" She seemed mostly curios now. "Why? Where you… afraid that someone… would be mean?"

Rick hesitated, but decided that she probably was old enough to hear the truth.

"Have you heard about Don't ask, Don't tell?"

"Yes. We learned about it… at school last year. But… it was removed, right?"

"Yes. But it was still in function when Drew and I met. We did the armys' basic combat training together and… became a couple after some time there. We became very good at hiding." For a second he was lost in memories of a time when all his creativity was used to find new places at fort Benning where he and Drew could be alone. "We decided it was easier to keep it completely secret than to be out with some people and not others. And then… that was just the way it was."

There was a lot more to it. But he wasn't going to tell her that.

"I didn't know… that you also worked… in the army."

That surprised him.

"Well, I did. I was an army captain. Ranger. I have been deployed twice to Iraq an twice to Afghanistan."

"Are you still… with them? Like Drew?"

He shook his head.

"Jocelyn said that… everyone here thought… that he was with… that girl Kristy and… then you showed up once… and Drew kissed you. And everyone saw it. Kind of. Is that true?"

Blurry faces, overwhelming pain. And a the realization that his life was going to change forever slowly creeping up on him.

"Krista," he said, pushing the memories away. "Her name is Krista."

He really didn't want to talk about that. Not here, not now. Preferably never. But the thought that she had heard it from Jocelyn - whoever she was - left a bad taste in his mouth.

She poked at his elbow.

"What happened?" She asked. "Why did you get out… from Narnia? What did you do? Did you surprise… Drew at Valentine… or something?"

It was so far from reality that he laughed out loud.

"That would never occur to me." He had no sense for the romantic whatsoever, and Drew didn't, either.

She seemed disappointed at that.

"But what happened?" She asked again.

He steeled himself.

"I… did nothing, really," he said. "More than managed to be on the wrong bus at the wrong moment. I was in an accident."

"Oh." Apparently that was not what she expected. He could see when it dawned on her. "Did you come here as a patient?"

His stomach turned into a knot.

"Yes."

It was clear that she wanted to ask more, but didn't know how.

He took a deep breath and hurried to continue before he lost the nerve.

"My leg was… destroyed." He let out a breath. "They couldn't… they had to amputate."

She stared at him.

"What?"

It annoyed him that his heart was pounding. It wasn't usually this hard to talk about it anymore. He was used to the way people reacted by now. But Brianna wasn't just anyone.

"They had to amputate my leg," he said again. "I think you heard me the first time."

"Amputate?" She repeated, disbelieving. "As in… chop it of?"

He smiled, despite himself.

"That's one way to put it."

"But…"

Her gaze turned to his feet, and stayed on his right pant leg, which was unnaturally empty below the knee.

"May I…?" She stopped, unsure.

Rick nodded, put his prosthetic foot on the edge of the bed and pulled up his pant leg.

Her mouth formed an O.

This one was black and metal with a very strong ankle joint. He really liked it and it functioned well at work. When he was in the right mood he thought it was funny that it made people look.

But right now he was not at all in that mood.

"You will fit perfectly into our family." He tried to smile. "You aren't the only one running on spare parts."

She looked back and forth between Ricks face and the prosthetic. Rick did his best not to fidget.

"Did you have to… wait for a robot… to donate… that to you?" She finally asked with a shy smile.

He must have stared stupidly at her before he started to laugh.

"Nope," he said when he could breath again. "No robot was hurt in the making. I promise."

"But… can it… do something… cool? Like… shoot laser beams?"

He could not tell if she was playing him.

"Do you think it should be able to do that?"

"Yes! I mean, you… are a cop with… a robot leg! You should have… a superpower!"

The knot in his stomach had started to loosen. He felt his smile get bigger. He shifted and put his leg back on the floor.

"Oh? Is that mandatory to adopt you? Did you tick that box when you applied for adoptive parents?" It was when he had already said it that he realized it might be a sore spot. But she grinned at him.

"Of course! I always… wanted super heroes… for parents! Like the Incredibles!"

"That explains why you got Drew." He fought to keep his face serious. "His ability to worry is definitely superhuman."

She laughed out loud and then started coughing violently. She kept coughing until her lips turned blue and Rick got up to find help. But she grabbed his sleeve and shook her head, and adjusted the flow of her oxygen. They where quiet when Brianna caught her breath.

"Are you alright?" he asked at last.

She nodded, sniffed and dried tears from her cheeks.

"It is… my… power," she panted out. "I am… technically… a mutant…* you know. I scare… people to… death with… my coughing."

"Nah," Rick protested. "Your superpower is definitely to wrap everyone you meet around your finger in record time."

That made her smile.

"And about coughing people to death, I think that will change after tonight, if I understand things correctly," Rick said softly.

She looked out the window.

Ricks heart sank.

"Did I say something wrong?"

She was quiet for some time.

"No. Just… weird to… think about… how things might… be. After."

She went quiet again.

"I would like… to see… the ocean," she whispered after a while. "I mean… if I… get better. Do you think… we could… go there?"

That made Rick smile.

"Now we're talking. Have you never been to the ocean?"

She shook her head.

The more he learned about her past, the more he wanted to kidnap her from her bed and shower her in ice cream, a visit to an amusement park, a road trip, a hike up a mountain, candy floss and a barefoot walk on a beach. No wonder she triggered all Drews overactive fatherly instincts.

"Well, that doesn't work," he said. "Drew and I like Hawaii. Do you think there is sea enough for you there? If so, I think we will go there when all this is over."

She gaped.

"Are you serious?"

"Of course. Never been more serious in my life. Vacations at Hawaii is no joking matter."

"Wow." She disappeared into her thoughts again. The silence was comfortable now. Rick glanced at his phone, but there were nothing from Drew.

"Rick," Brianna whispered, a completely new tone in her voice.

"Yes?"

Rick watched her mouth open and close several times.

"Sweetie," he said finally. "Just spit it out. I won't bite."

She drew a deep breath.

"Where you… scared? Before?"

Rick needed a second before he understood what she meant.

"Before the amputation?"

She nodded.

Scared didn't cover it. Terrified came closer.

"Yes," he said. "Very much so." He put his hands on her shoulders and

she grabbed his sleeve.

"I am… really scared."

"I know. That's okay. I would have been, too." He looked her straight in the eye.

"I… don't want… to die now." She coughed. "Before… that would… have been okay. But… not now… when I have… a chance… to have my own… family."

Something very close to Ricks heart hurt.

"Brianna," he said. "It is obvious that everyone who works here adore you. They will make sure you will be okay. And Drew and I are going to be here the whole time. Personally, I am responsible for glaring at everyone involved."

She giggled. And coughed.

"You will get through this and you will move in with us and we will go to Hawaii and you will hate us because we will scare all the boys away who dares to even look at you, and…"

She laughed and coughed and dried tears at the same time.

"Who are you… to assume… that I like… boys?"

"I am sure there will be a lot of boys to keep away, regardless if you like them or not." Rick grinned. "But, yeah, okay, we will scare every boy or girl who looks at you the wrong way…"

"I do," she added. "Like boys… I mean. Definitely."

Rick smiled at her.

"I am glad we sorted that out. So, we are going to scare every boy…"

Her giggles turned into another forceful coughing fit.

From the hallway came a loud beeping noise from some kind of medical equipment. Someone shouted. Ricks heart began to pound.

"By the way…" Brianna said when she had managed to catch her breath again. "That night… when you… got out from… Narnia?"

"Yes?"

"You didn't say… what happened? Did you… kiss in front… of everyone? Like Jocelyn said?"

If they did. His entire body remembered. It had literally been the most bittersweet moment of his life so far.

"I am not the right person to tell that story." His voice sharper than he intended. "We need Drew."

"What do you need me for?"

…

to be concluded…

*Cystic Fibrosis is a hereditary disease caused by a mutation. That's what Brianna is referring to.

Authors note: Thank you for reading! I hope you enjoyed it!

I put a lot of effort into this story. It would really make my day if you took a minute to review and let me know what you think. Thank you! =)