Chapter Six: Graduation

Eiji regretted his promise to Daichi when graduation day came around. He felt like a fraud in his robes. The crutches didn't help, he felt irrationally embarrassed, unable to hide. When the morning of graduation rolled around, he tried to get out of it, but Aki told him a promise was a promise and he had to go through with it since he told Daichi he would.

Now, he stood on the wings of the stage, waiting for his name to be called.

"Ojima, Sora…" he heard the announcer call as the girl in front of him walked proudly onto the stage. She shook hands with the principal and accepted her diploma. She smiled and a camera flashed, capturing the moment.

His heart pounded in his ears as Sora began her walk off the stage. Just a few months ago he could jump 15+ feet in the air and land gracefully without issue. Now, he was worried he would trip on his crutches as he walked 15 feet across the stage, or worse, that he'd pass out from nerves.

"Okumura, Eiji…" they called. He tried not to pay attention to what they were saying about him as he crossed the short distance to receive his diploma. As everyone walked, the announcer said what honors they were graduating with, scholarships they'd accepted, where they would attend college, and what they planned to study. Eiji was graduating with honors, but he knew the rest of the information would be missing. It shouldn't be, but it was. And it made him feel empty inside.

He blinked back tears as his crutches made contact with the stage. The announcer was saying something about his prior athletic successes. He tried to breathe regularly. He reached the principal.

"Okumura Eiji will be taking a gap year to heal from a recent injury he sustained at National's…"

Eiji smiled fakely for his photograph as he accepted his diploma and then moved slowly from the stage. He returned to the sea of folding chairs, just like the other before him had. He sat solemnly beside the girl named Sora who had gone before him.

"Hey, Eiji," she whispered, "good to see you again. We've missed you at school."

He gave her a practiced smile that didn't reach his eyes and simply returned his attention to the stage. He breathed deeply. Inside, he still felt sick, but at least his heart had calmed down. He tried to occupy his mind with other thoughts as the rest of his classmates continued to receive their diplomas. He never imagined something so simple as sitting in a chair could seem so difficult.

"You'll come out with us, won't you Ei-chan?" Daichi asked excitedly as he and Eiji's other friends gathered around him.

"I— I think I better sit it out—"

Aki grabbed his arm and pulled him away from his friends. "Eiji," she began firmly in a low voice. The other boys stared at them with curiosity. "There isn't much I force you or Miyuki to do...but this one...I want you to go with them. You'll regret it if you don't."

He thought about refusing, but as he stood there studying her face, he got the impression that she was speaking from experience. Like maybe she'd done the same thing he was debating when she was in his shoes.

Kaito interrupted, grabbing Eiji's shoulder. "We're just getting food, Ei-chan, nothing crazy. Don't worry, we have more sense than them," he gestured with his head towards a group of popular kids who didn't even try to disguise the fact that they planned on partying that night.

"Yeah, man!" Genkei chimed in. "And if it's a money thing, I'd be happy to—"

"It's not," Eiji said, firmly.

"Then what's the issue?" Kaito elbowed him in the side, "Miki said she's coming," he said in a sing-song voice.

Eiji rolled his eyes, but now he was smiling. Aki backed off.

"For the last time, I do not have a crush on— Oh! Hi, Miki!"

All his friends, even Haruto, burst into laughter. "Hi, Miki," they echoed back.

Eiji turned bright red.

"So, where are we going to eat?" She asked, oblivious to the teasing.

"I know this really great ramen place," Kaito began, "They do an All-You-Can-Eat special on weekends. I was thinking we could go there...unless anyone had any other ideas."

The boys and Miki all agreed that endless ramen sounded like a good plan, so Genkei's parents drove them to the shop Kaito had in mind and they all sat inside the small shop, occupying half the seats. They pushed several tables together and chatted loudly as they waited for their food to arrive.

"So how have you been, Eiji?" Miki asked, her voice was quiet but it somehow penetrated through the loud voices of the other boys.

How had he been? His life had gone to shit. Everything he'd been working towards was suddenly pulled out from under him. His leg still ached, partially from the injury, and partially from his atrophying muscles. His physical therapist said he could start walking in a boot next week, regain some lost muscle, but he was sure that transition wouldn't be too pleasant either.

He was lucky to have a supportive family, but he still wasn't over his mother and father's somewhat recent separation, though at this point it had been several years since they all lived together. Aki said he was allowed to still be upset, but he was far angrier than she knew. He knew it would upset her, so he kept that bit to himself.

He was also grateful to have a group of good friends, especially Daichi, but soon they would all leave for college and Eiji would be left behind, ankle still dysfunctional, and college still looming over him like a daydream that had turned into a nightmare.

"Fine," Eiji said instead of voicing his true thoughts.

Miki smiled softly, "Well, that's good to hear. Is your leg feeling better then?"

He could feel Kaito staring at him, convinced he had a crush on Miki.

"Well, no...err, a bit...but they said I can start wearing a boot soon, so that's good…"

Miki smiled, "Oh, that is good."

"Yeah, but Eiji's been locked up for the past month at home!" Kaito cut in. "No one to keep him company 'sides his Mom and kid sister."

"The hell, man!?" Daichi leaned across the table, practically shouting, "I've been visiting! Just because you've only been to visit once, doesn't mean we all have! I'm his manga dealer and I take that role very seriously."

"Yeah, I'd be bored to tears without Daichi."

Kiato, who was intent on setting up Eiji and Miki, glared at Daichi. "Well, you two are practically family, I'm sure he could benefit from some—"

Kaito, much to Eiji's relief, was cut off by the waiter bringing them their food.

They all quieted down as the food arrived. Miki took a photo of her beautifully arranged ramen, while the rest of the boys dug in like they hadn't eaten in weeks.

"See?! Wha' I tell ya? This place is the best!" Kaito said with a mouth-full of ramen. "Anyway, what was I saying?" His eyes connected deviously with Daichi's and then Eiji's. "Oh, yeah! Poor Eiji is all lonely, locked up at home!" He stuffed his face with more food. "Just laying in bed doing homework and reading manga...but now there's no homework left to do! You'll be so tired of reading your eyes will fall out!"

"I'm fine," Eiji said firmly, glaring at his friend.

But much to Kaito's disappointment, Miki didn't bite at Kaito's obvious ploy. "My sister had mono a few years back, I remember she laid in bed for weeks."

"I bet she liked getting visitors," Kaito tried again.

Miki shrugged, "Mmm, not really. She was too tired to do much of anything. She didn't really even have enough energy for visits."

"Is that contagious?" Yamato asked from further down the table, catching wind of their conversation.

Miki shook her head, finished chewing her food, and then added, "Yes and no. It's transferred through saliva, so no one else in the family got it, but her boyfriend at the time did."

Yamato's face paled in horror at the thought, "He did?!"

"Mmm," she nodded.

"I remember that," Haruto added from down the table. "Your sister was in the same class as my older brother. She was dating Kento then, right?"

"Mmm, yeah. He was too good for her, though."

"Damn, harsh!" Daichi said.

"What? She's my sister? I know she seems perfect but she can be a real pain at times!"

Kiato deflated as the conversation drifted further and further from his schemes. He knew it would be obvious, not to mention awkward, now to bring the conversation back to Eiji and his need for a girlfriend. He gave it an honest effort, but it seemed his plans were foiled once again.

"She likes you, Eiji!" Kaito said as he, Daichi, and Eiji filed into Eiji's house after Genki's parents drove them home.

"No, she doesn't!" He said in a hushed whisper, worried Aki would hear.

"Yes, she—"

Eiji pulled his sleeve and shoved him towards the stairs. "Let's talk about it upstairs."

"She does though," Kaito said again once they retreated behind Eiji's door.

"If she liked me she would have taken the bait. You couldn't have made it more obvious."

"Maybe she's just shy!" Kaito argued. "But she sat right across from you and obviously wanted to talk and—"

"And maybe Eiji doesn't like her," Daichi cut in as the voice of reason.

Kaito's mouth snapped shut. "You— don't like her?"

Eiji shrugged. He leaned his crutches against his wall and hopped on one foot to sit at the end of his bed. "I don't know, not like— no, not really."

Daichi raised his eyebrows at Kaito, "See? Now that settles that."

"But, Ei-chan? What's not to like? She's smart and cute and I think she has a thing for you and—"

"If you think she's so great, why don't you date her?" Eiji asked with more venom than he'd intended.

"She— uh— already— turned me down."

Eiji's eyes found the floor. "Shit. Sorry."

"She was nice about it...said there was someone else...someone else she liked."

Eiji met his eyes again, "And you're convinced that's me?"

Kaito shrugged, "Yeah? Have you seen the way she looks at you?"

"Yeah, I have. She looks at me like any other person does. There's nothing special there, Kaito."

Daichi groaned and flopped down on the foot of the bed beside Eiji. "Maybe it isn't any of us she likes? Or maybe you should just ask her." He sighed and fell back so that his head rested on the mattress but his feet still dangled from the bed. "Or maybe it's none of our damn business who the girl likes."

Kaito sank to the floor awkwardly, legs folding beneath him. A silence fell, Kaito's fingers traced the patterns in Eiji's wood floor. "Why don't you like her?" He asked finally.

"She's fine, I just— I don't know, I don't like her like that. Besides, I hardly know her."

"That's why I think you guys should go out sometime. Get to know her. Maybe you'll hit it off."

"Fuckin' leave it, Kaito," Daichi groaned from the bed.

"I just don't see it happening," Eiji replied, ignoring Daichi. "I don't feel anything for her. And I— I think you're supposed to."

Kaito was quiet then, finally accepting Eiji's answer. "O—Okay," He rose from the floor and reached for the doorknob. "Sorry, man." The door creaked as he opened it. "I should get going, Mom wanted me to be home like a half-hour ago."

Eiji nodded.

"You coming, Daichi?"

Daichi propped himself up on his elbows, just enough to see Kaito. "Nah, I'm gonna stay." He looked at Eiji, "I mean, if you're cool with that."

"I don't mind," Eiji said. He glanced up at Kaito still standing in the open doorway. "You can stay too, if you want."

But after their awkward little squabble, it was obvious both Eiji and Daichi would rather him not stay.

Kaito shrugged, "Nah, it's fine. Mom will be pissed enough as it is." He scratched the back of his head. "Besides, I don't have any sleep clothes with me," he gestured to himself vaguely, still wearing the formal clothes he'd worn under his robe to graduation.

Daichi didn't bring any clothes with him either, but he was there so often that there was bound to always be a shirt of his lying around, freshly washed and folded by Aki.

Kaito glanced at Eiji's crutches, "I can see myself out, no need to get up. See ya guys."

The door clicked softly behind him. Soft footsteps carried him down the hall and down the stairs. A louder thud indicated he'd left the house.

"God, I hate it when he gets like that," Daichi groaned. "Doesn't know when to fucking drop something."

Eiji sighed, fingers fiddling nervously with the hem of his shirt. "He's right though…"

Daichi sat, eyes boring into Eiji's soul. "How's that?"

"It is weird that I don't like her. Why not? She's everything that he says she is. Any other guy would be happy to date her...so why don't I feel the same way?"

"It's fine if you don't like her, Eiji. There are other girls."

Eiji's eyes finally left the hem of his shirt and met Daichi's. "But that's the thing! Almost everyone else in our class has at least been on a date with someone. Or at the very least had a crush on someone. I— I haven't. I'm eighteen and I've never even kissed a girl! Never even gotten close. Hell, I've never even had a legitimate crush on someone! What the hell's wrong with me?"

"Nothing's wrong with you, Eiji," he told him sternly. "My parents didn't meet until my dad was thirty and my mom was the first person he ever dated. My uncle never married and he's happy as can be. And in case you've forgotten, I've never dated anyone either."

Eiji visibly cringed. "Sorry, Dai–"

"It's okay, it doesn't bother me. I'll find someone or maybe I won't. Look, point is, there's no right way to fall in love...or not fall in love. Everyone needs to do what's right for them. If Kaito, or anyone else, isn't mature enough to understand that, then that's their problem, not yours. You're eighteen, you still have plenty of time to figure it out."

Eiji's world was suddenly blurry with tears. His eyes found the hem of his shirt once more. "Maybe you should go," he said, tone slightly hostile, trying to hide the brewing emotion.

Someone else may have assumed they'd offended him. Assumed that Eiji was angry and wanted them to leave. But Daichi had been his friend since they were children and he knew better. Eiji was sad, not angry. Maybe angry with himself, but not with Daichi.

"Why? So you can sit up here all alone and cry? There's no way I'm letting that happen."

Eiji sniffed and wiped a tear before it could fall.

"There's still so much I have to figure out," Eiji began again, voice cracking as he responded to what Daichi had been saying before he told him to leave. "I thought I had it figured out until I had to go and destroy my fucking body! Now I have none of that! Everyone will be starting the rest of their lives in a few months but I'll still be here! Rotting away, so far behind in every way!"

Daichi stared at him with eyes that could kill. "You're lucky I don't punch you for saying shit like that."

Eiji gave an exasperated laugh.

"I'm not joking, Eiji. I'm dead serious. If you were Kaito, I would have punched you."

"And why not me?"

Daichi swung a comforting arm around Eiji's shoulders. "Because Kaito'd probably deserve it and it would probably snap him out of whatever funk he was in. But you're hurting and confused. I don't know what you need, but it's not a punch." He swayed Eiji with his weight. "Do you know what you need?"

Eiji shook his head. "To wake up in Tokyo on the day of National's. To be sitting on that bus having you talk my ear off about how little sleep you got. To have all this be a bad dream."

Daichi sighed, "Yeah...I know." He pulled Eiji closer to him in some sort of side hug. He stood then, arm leaving Eiji, and opened Eiji's dresser drawer, rummaging through for a shirt to sleep in. "But then I'd have to take my calculus exam again, and I don't know if I could handle that."

Eiji smiled half-heartedly at the joke.

"Hey, can I sleep in this?" Daichi asked, showing Eiji a plain black tee.

Eiji stood, hopping on one foot, and snatched the t-shirt from Daichi. "No, that's one of my favorites."

"It's just a plain t-shirt."

"Yeah, well, I happen to really like it. But you left that blue and white shirt of yours here the other day. It's sitting on the dryer." Eiji rummaged in the drawer. "Or you can wear this one." He handed Daichi another plain black tee.

Daichi took it, feeling and eyeing the fabric suspiciously. "And how is this one different from the one you claim is your favorite?"

"That one's not as soft," Eiji smirked. "And look," he peeled back the fabric to reveal the tag, "different brand."

Daichi rolled his eyes. He opened the next drawer down, "What shorts can I have?" He asked dramatically.

"Shorts are shorts, I don't care."

Daichi grabbed a pair at random. "Shorts are not shorts but whatever." He took a few steps toward the door. "I'm gonna change," and with that, he disappeared down the hall.

Daichi returned several minutes later, dressed in Eiji's clothes and his own dress clothes draped over his arm. He threw his formal clothes to the floor and climbed into Eiji's bed. "I know it's not what you want to hear, but it's all gonna work out."

"I don't see how."

"I can't either...not yet...but that's the funny thing about life, it has a way of surprising us. And who doesn't like surprises?"

"Falling at National's was a surprise and I didn't like that."

"It's gonna work out, Eiji. You're too good for life to be so unfair for too long."

"That's not how life works."

"Maybe not. But that's still how I feel. Something good's coming, we just have to wait and see what it will be."

Daichi turned off Eiji's lamp and they were both silent for a long time, both trying to find sleep despite their restless thoughts.

"Daichi?"

"Hmm?"

"Thanks for staying."

"Like letting you cry yourself to sleep was ever even an option."

Eiji didn't argue because what Daichi said was true and they both knew it. Completely overwhelmed, he would have cried himself to sleep without his good friend to keep him company.

"Well, I appreciate it all the same."

"I know."

The room was silent, only the fan whirring in the corner of the dark room hummed through the night, singing like a familiar lullaby that would soon summon sleep.

"Hey, Eiji?" Kaito began again, breaking through the fan's white noise.

Eiji's sleepy eyelids fluttered open once more. "Yeah?"

"If it— if it makes you feel any better— I didn't get a scholarship either. I applied for the same one you did, you know?"

Eiji was stunned into silence. He knew they'd both applied, of course, he knew...but somewhere along the way it had slipped his mind.

"Only I'm not as good as you are. That scholarship went to five athletes. Out of everyone who applied, you were one of those five. I wasn't. And all year— all year I thought, maybe if someone changes their mind, goes elsewhere for school, then the school would give the money to someone else. Maybe I was athlete number six...maybe...somehow...I'd get that scholarship after all."

Daichi rolled over, eyes leaving the ceiling, and looked at Eiji in the darkness. "And then you got hurt and I hated myself for ever thinking that...cuz it felt like I jinxed it somehow. But a really small part of me was hopeful I'd get a call from the University of Tokyo...of course I never did and I'm ashamed to tell you that, Eiji. Really, I am." He took a deep breath. "So I don't say that to make you feel guilty or something, I say it because I want you to know you're not alone. I don't have it all figured out yet either."

Eiji was quiet for so long, still staring at the ceiling despite Daichi's eyes on him, that Daich began to wonder if he'd drifted to sleep.

"Eiji? You still awake?"

"Mmmm...ye—" His voice cracked. He cleared his throat, "Yeah. I'm up. I'm—" He cleared his throat again. "Why are you even still my friend?" Eiji asked with tears in his eyes. "I'm awful, you must hate me."

Daichi rolled his eyes. "I don't hate you."

"Why not?!" Eiji rolled over and suddenly they were eye to eye, no more than a foot apart. The switch in position allowed gravity to finally pull the tears from Eiji's eyes. "I'm horrible! All this time I've been complaining about— and here you wanted— and I knew and— God I'm such an idiot!"

A strong hand, calloused from years of vaulting, landed firmly on Eiji's shoulder. "It's fine. I didn't say it to make you feel bad."

"It's not fine," he nearly wailed.

Daichi raised his voice, drowning out Eiji's dismay, "I said it to make you realize it's okay…" his voice calmed as Eiji's wailing ceased "to not have everything figured out." The hand on Eiji's shoulder slowly drifted back to Daichi's side. "Cuz, in the end, it will all work out how it's supposed to." He watched as more silent tears dripped out of Eiji's eyes. "I'll work my way through school...find a passion to study...and you'll recover. You'll walk again and join me at the University of Tokyo just a year behind me and in the grand scheme of things, what's one year? Maybe we can even be roommates like we were supposed to be. And you'll find your passion too, something to study. And your person. Eiji, I know you'll find your person."

More tears tumbled down Eiji's face and something strange welled within his gut, giving him the strange urge to hug his friend after such kind words. "How can you be so nice to me?"

A small, sad smile eased its way onto Daichi's face. "Cuz you're my best friend, man...And life just pulled the chair out from under you. Being nice— being your friend— is the only way I know how to help."