Try as she might, Ororo couldn't find any rest that night. Thoughts of T'Challa, the events that happened in Wakanda, and her earlier fight then subsequent discussion with the man lying beside her ran ram shod over her mind. She rolled away from Logan's warmth to lie on her side, her cheek resting on her folded hands. Thinking about T'Challa and what happened in Wakanda was slowly driving her insane and if she was honest with herself, impeding her recovery. Now, that man had the nerve to add to her burdens by threatening her family.
"I'll have ta nail ya down if ya turn one more time," came a sleepy grumble. Even though he appeared to be resting, he was aware of every movement and sound she had made since they climbed into bed after watching Pulp Fiction and Love and Bullets, roughly two hours ago.
"I am sorry, Logan. I cannot seem to find sleep tonight."
"Ya got a lot on yer mind, darlin'."
She knew it wasn't a question, but a statement of fact. She blew a gust of air out her mouth. "Yes."
"Ya wanna talk 'bout it?"
"I share, you share?"
"If ya want," Logan replied around a wide yawn. He glanced at the alarm clock. 2:57am. He knew that was it for sleep and mentally prepared himself for the discussion at hand. As much as he was reluctant to reveal some parts of his past to her right now, he knew they had to start somewhere. He guessed now was as good a time as any.
She sat up so her back was against the headboard. She switched on the lamp on her nightstand and turned to look at him. "I do not know where to begin. Everything is so mixed up right now."
Logan moved and laid his head on her lap. Staring up into her beautiful face, he said, "Start from what's at the front of yer mind."
Ororo began threading her fingers through his thick wavy hair. For whatever reason, this action always brought her some form of comfort and she knew it did the same for the spoiled mountain man benefiting from her ministrations.
"After my parents died, I have been on my own. I had no one to love me and love in return, no one to celebrate milestones with and simply enjoy life with. Charles changed all that when I met him at sixteen years old. He brought me to America, nurtured me, loved me, and treated me as if I was his flesh and blood. At first, I did not trust him and what he was offering me. Where I came from, people never did anything out of the goodness of their hearts. So, you can see why I was wary of this man, living in America." She paused to catch her breath and put more of her thoughts in order.
Logan reached a hand down to caress her leg in a soothing action. She was repeating some of the things she had already told him in confidence a long time ago.
"Then Jean and Scott came, then Hank and Forge," the last name she said with distaste.
Logan heard the disgust in her voice mentioning the fool that left her at the altar. The fool, unbeknownst to them, he and Remy had given a good ass beating too. He barely held in his smirk of satisfaction.
"We were all happy as we grew up together, with the man who provided us with everything imaginable. Did you know that Charles even contemplated getting married to provide us with a mother figure?"
Logan's brows shot up in surprise as he gazed at her. He didn't know that at all, but it made perfect sense to him. "I can see why he thought 'bout it."
Ororo nodded, before continuing. "We were able to convince him that we were happy and did not want for him to make himself unhappy just to please us." She sighed. "It all worked out for the best, however. We all went off to further our studies, then came back to more mutants under Charles' supervision. We all became teachers and build the X-Men. But that did not stop us from living normal lives either. We all paired off, Jean with Scott, Hank with Cecilia and I do not have to rehash about me and the Tinkerer."
"No ya don't. Another bonafide jackass," Logan couldn't help but throw in the insult.
'Ro smiled softly, knowing his anger was on her behalf. "Well, after that entire fiasco, I believed that there was no one to give me that passionate love that women crave and that my chance to have a family of my own was gone. I then threw myself into my work as a teacher and X-Man." She looked down into intense gray eyes and leaned down to kiss his lips softly. "Then you came and there was something inexplicably pulling me towards you. Something I tried ignoring at first, but then gave into."
"I know darlin'," Logan replied gruffly, feeling the effects of her kiss. "I felt it too, but…ya know…"
"Yes, I know. At that time, we were both searching for different things. That is why it was so easy to accept T'Challa's marriage proposal. He came into my life like a knight in shining armor. Telling me what I wanted to hear, doing the things that I wanted and needed to be done. He wined and dined me and before I knew it, I believed myself in love. In T'Challa, I saw my chance to get what I did not get with Forge. So, I ignored my intuition, my heart, and my misgivings about leaving the X-Men and accepted him. It was not the chance at being Queen of a nation why I accepted him. I thoroughly believed that my window of opportunity for a family and to fulfill my heart's desires was quickly closing. That and believing you and I would never be on the same path, were my reasons for accepting him."
She inhaled deeply, shaking her head at her own folly. "Oh, how wrong I was. I was in for a harsh rude awakening once I arrived in Wakanda. It was an experience that changed me completely." Her voice hitched as she remembered the pain she felt and still feels at her discoveries.
Logan turned to her and reached up to cup her cheek. "It's ok, baby. Ya're not there anymore."
She rubbed her cheek against his hand, enjoying his caress.
Her talk of experiences that changed her completely struck a chord in him and he knew it was his turn to share with her. "Ya want ta know why I joined the geek club?" Ororo chuckled at his fond name for the team. "Ya know I was an assassin…" he sighed, turning away from her look. He couldn't bare the hatred she was bound to feel for him after he revealed his true motive for coming to New York in the first place. "I was sent by the government ta kill Chuck."
Her hands paused in massaging his scalp and silence followed and for a few moments he thought that her breathing had stopped. He turned his head back to look up into compassionate eyes. He closed his eyes in what can only be deemed relief when he saw no sanction in her gaze. "'Ro, they just told me that Chuck was too dangerous and powerful ta live and ta take care of him. I had some doubts and I think good ole Charlie sensed it, that's why he's alive."
"You do not give yourself enough credit, Logan. I think it was your good heart that stopped you from committing that crime."
"Ya give me way too much credit, darlin'."
Ororo scowled. She hated when he talked about himself in such a negative light. "So why the hell did you stay? You could have never come back all those times you left, but you chose to come back. Why?"
"Ya know why, 'Ro."
"Do I?"
He sighed and rolled off her lap. He stood and went to stand in front on the window, drawing back the blinds to stare at the darkness outside. "Ya don't understand, darlin'."
"So, make me understand," she replied harshly. "I hate it when you beat yourself down, Logan. You are your own worst enemy."
He turned and glared at her. Then turned back to stare at nothing. "The shit I've seen, went through and hell…even did…I never wanted good people like ya geeks goin' through it. So, I figured if I stick 'round, be a part of Wheels' pipe dream, then maybe I can stop some of the bad things I've done and seen from happenin' ta y'all."
Ororo came off the bed and went to meet him, wrapping her arms around his waist from behind. She laid her head against the sinewy muscles of his back. "That alone proves how good of a man you are. Your pain and rage hide your loving heart. I see it and so does Jubilee and Charles. At some point in time, you are going to have to believe that."
He caressed her arms joined at his waist. "My first kill was my real father."
She hugged him tighter urging him to go on. "My real name is James Howlett. Records can't pinpoint my exact date 'o birth. Closest they came was sometime around spring in the late 1880s. The man my mother was havin' an affair with turned out ta be Vic Creed's papa."
'Ro gasped. "So that means that you and Sabertooth are…"
"Yep. Brothers." Logan visibly shuddered. "My pa, or who I thought was my pa was rich back in the day. Tom Logan, was the groundskeeper and was sleepin' 'round with my ma. John Howlett, her husband, never found out that I wasn't his kid."
He exhaled loudly and oddly he felt better, getting that bit off his chest. Gaining momentum, he continued, "Anyway, something happened that caused Howlett ta fire Tom. But he decided ta come back and get revenge by killin' my pa. Me, mom and a girl name Rose and Creed were all present." He heaved a heavy sigh, "My mutation chose then and there ta come outta hidin' when my claws sprouted, and I killed Tom Logan."
"Oh sweetheart!" Ororo replied hugging him even tighter, nothing but empathy and love for this man who had lived such a hard life, flowing through her.
Logan held on to her as if she was his saving grace in the shit storm he was now rehashing. After a few minutes, he continued his tale, telling her of his time on the lam with Rose who had whisked him away after the killing. It was quite difficult relating to her how he found her raped and brutally murdered and discovering Victor Creed was the culprit.
Ororo had literally gagged at Logan's graphic description of the scene he had first encountered and how that one tragedy was the beginning of the rage that would become a huge part of his long life. She offered him a compassionate ear and a loving embrace as he relived some of the horrors of his life.
Deciding that they had unburdened themselves enough for one night, they got back into bed and simply held onto each other, anchoring themselves to one another and absorbing the love flowing between them. They eventually succumbed to the sleep that had alluded them since climbing into bed together, wrapped in each other's arms and unspoken words of love.
Ororo awoke to Logan's harsh expletive, then growl. She glanced at the clock, which revealed it was already a bit past noon. She rolled off the bed and grabbed her robe lying across his armchair, haphazardly stuffing her arms through the sleeves, and tying the sash at her waist. She cocked her ears as the man himself had taught her, listening for other voices besides Logan's. There was none, however, she heard Logan barked, "I'll gut the piece 'o shit!"
She made haste going downstairs to see what aggravated the volatile Canadian. She heard Charles' normally calming voice, sounding a bit anxious. "Please Logan, calm down."
"Don't tell me ta calm down, Chuck. That asshole and me gonna have a nice conversation and real soon."
"What is going on?" Ororo asked calmly, prompting both men to go silent. Logan started, having been so absorbed in his anger and conversation with the Professor that he didn't even hear nor scent her approach.
Charles was the first to break the silence. "Hello daughter. How are you today?"
Ororo glanced back and forth between Logan's angry mien and the Professor's anxious one on the web camera. "I am quite well, Charles. However, I would like to know what is going."
She saw Charles visibly sighed and heard Logan's growl.
"Ain't nothin' fer ya ta worry 'bout, 'Ro," Logan offered.
A snow-colored eyebrow shot up. "Really? I think it is." She looked directly into the camera. "What has T'Challa done, Charles?"
She saw her surrogate father closed his eyes and heard Logan's muffled curse.
"I am waiting," Ororo said in a tone usually reserved for her students and one often used to voice her displeasure.
Charles sighed. "He claims that he is in New York wrapping up some Avengers business and when he is finished, you must be ready to go back to Wakanda with him."
"That ain't happenin'." The sound of Logan's voice was harsh and held a distinctive air of finality.
Without thinking, Ororo moved to sit on Logan's lap, his arm automatically going around her. She missed Charles' telling grin. Drawing from the security Logan gave her, she said, "He is going to be sorely disappointed. But I worry about him bringing trouble to our home, Charles."
"Do not worry about that, my dear. I have already briefed the others on what is going on." He smiled before continuing with a smirk, "Suffice it to say, that everyone is prepared to welcome the King."
Logan grunted. Ororo frowned.