Things You Are Not Allowed to Do at the SCP Foundation

by Aesop

The 05 Council has decided that certain breaches of protocol at Foundation sites need to be addressed. This list will grow on the basis of reader feedback.

4. Chapter 4

Things You Are Not Allowed to Do at the SCP Foundation

DISCLAIMER: See first chapter for disclaimers.

AUTHOR'S NOTE: This one is rather specific to fans of the Tales From the SCP Foundation. I'd been thinking about this for a while, and after watching a couple of similarly themed videos on YouTube, I decided to go ahead with it. Let me know if I should keep it up. R&R.

Chapter 4

It is proving more and more obvious that safety training is being neglected at various Foundation sites. This needs to be corrected. Time, material, and lives are being lost to careless and stupid mistakes. All posted safety regulations for individual bases and especially rules specific to the SCPs themselves, need to be followed to the letter. New personnel need to pay special attention to these rules. Until safety training can be reviewed and properly updated, please consider the list below to be rules to live by. Meaning, if you follow them, you'll probably live.

46. Do not play chicken with SCP-745. Yes, it worked once, but that doesn't mean it wasn't stupidly reckless.

47. SCP-272 is not to be used to keep subordinates from ducking out of work early.

48. Make sure you have plenty of cash on hand before approaching SCP-1386. It reacts badly to deadbeats.

49. Do not insult SCP-683. In fact, just keep your mouth shut while you're in its containment cell.

50. Do not screw, figuratively or literally, with SCP-953.

51. Do not invite SCP-2006 to movie night. Especially if it's a horror. (What idiot did that?)

52. Do NOT attempt to cheat while playing chess with SCP-177. It gets upset.

53. Do not shake hands with SCP-657 or SCP-2800 or encourage others to.

54. Do NOT play with SCP-18 or suggest that others do so.

55. SCP-154 is not a toy, and should not be tested by new personnel who do not know it's nature.

56. SCP-1963 is DEFINITELY NOT a toy!

57. Do not attempt to play fetch with SCP-1111 or encourage others to do so.

58. SCP-956 is not full of yummy candy and it is wrong to tell new personnel that it is.

59. SCP-167, SCP-432, and SCP-455 are dangerous spatial anomalies. Convincing new personnel to explore them is forbidden.

60. Any personnel found to be 'hazing' new employees will be assigned keter duty where they will hopefully gain a new respect for safety procedures.