March 2nd 2020
Cosima flicks on Skype. Their hotel room was nice enough. Joking that they'd rented the hotel room to make a baby in, was met with glares by Delphine. A half-hour alone would do them both good. Probably. They're in California, but nowhere near home. And they probably won't have time for a visit. Cosima notes to avoid telling her parents or publicly posting that she was in California at all. Hopefully enough to smooth things over.
Delphine had taken a walk, to calm her nerves before they go for the first of what will likely be a series of ultrasounds to check the follicle count. Cosima suspects privately Delphine being on extra hormones has made her wife kind of unhinged. The hotel room sort of reminds her of the awkward sort of wedding reception they'd had the first spring after they got married. Somehow an opportunity for photos in formal wear and to renew their vows in front of their… somewhat disgruntled parents had turned into a larger than wanted second wedding in some San Francisco golf club rented by Gene and Sally Niehaus. The photos were excellent, and some hang in their condo. Delphine in a white gown, her in a red one. Her in-laws hadn't been able to dampen that. Her parents had been too eager to fuss over ' the brides ' as they'd called them. And that… that had been kind of nice. If over the top. She swears her parents had invited half of the people she'd ever met in San Francisco and while she could work a crowd, Delphine's tolerance for large gatherings was a lot lower.
To be perfectly honest, Cosima only remembers two things after they broke out the extremely potent punch and the midnight seafood bar. One, that Delphine's wedding dress had been extremely difficult to remove. And two, the hotel room that looks very much like this one. Only, she is far less drunk and less inclined to struggle with tiny buttons in an effort to undress a very tired and somewhat drunk Delphine.
She turns on Skype. Needing a distraction.
"Hey Sarah. Alison… Helena is...where?"
"Putting her boys to bed. Don't mind the crashing in the background." Alison quips. "Where are you?"
"Oh right… time difference. Delphine and I booked a short getaway. West coast." Cosima tells them the half-truth.
"Romantic." Alison smiles at them. "Well… no doubt that is more fun than being here. Sarah… can you and Felix come for March break and watch Helena and her boys? I … I am thinking Donnie and I should book a getaway. Just the two of us. We could grab one of those last minute deals and fly to the Dominican Republic. Or Mexico."
"Why so you can have a week on the beach getting drunk?" Sarah laughs. "Or… watching Donnie get drunk."
"No.. We will not get drunk. It's not funny to joke to a recovering addict." Alison fumes a little.
"I was joking Alison… Nah I have relationship problems of my own." Sarah shakes her head with a laugh. "Cal is… back around again. And we sort of….shagged. Again."
"Well that's not a bad thing." Cosima shrugs. She figures the off-and-on of Sarah and Cal could be worse. They were clearly still attracted to each other enough while trading off time with their young teenage daughter.
"I mean… it wasn't… and then it was like six times in two weeks. And Kira gets home early and her dad is still there in his underwear in the kitchen."
Cosima stifles a laugh into her hand. She has no answer for that.
Alison, as usual, does. "Well why don't you two just give it another try? There's clearly something still there… and Cal is..."
"Cal wants to." Sarah shrugs. "I'm not sure. I mean… things were going really well just me and Kira. You know?"
"I know. You're doing a great job with her." Cosima assures her sister. "Kira… is a fantastic kid."
"But now Cal is talking about getting a place altogether… and I…." Sarah shrugs.
"You're not sure." Alison surmises. "Well… you could try dating instead? I mean… it's less commitment."
"But then it's Cal in my house. Or he'll want me to leave S's house… and I can't do that. And I'll do something he hates. Or… be me. And… It doesn't work. I mean, he says I've mellowed but there's all that history. You're married… how do you handle that?" Sarah tossed at her. "I can… I mean I handle Cal in small doses. Large doses? He starts with the great gestures and when things turn to shite he might disappear!"
"Donnie and I just… work things out. Over and over and over again. Through all the rough patches. Why? Do you and Cal want to give it another try?" Alison perks up at this, and Cosima cannot blame her. She doesn't even like men and agrees that Cal is hot.
"What about you, Cos?"
"Dude I am just … am just really fucking lucky that Delphine loves me so damn much. Seriously." Cosima shakes her head. That was why she was married now, why Delphine was willing to forgive the worst she's seen of her. "It's… effort. Over and over again. But… I am still crazy in love with her, mostly." Cosima smirks a little. She's lucky that way. More than most.
"So the answer is… work it out?" Sarah sighs. "Not... Maybe it just shouldn't happen?"
"One way or another." Cosima gives a shrug and a gesture and lets the conversation turn to her nieces and nephews… as it often does. And she wonders what Sarah and Alison would think of her plan. She doesn't have to guess what Helena would think. But Helena babysitting isn't something she thinks Delphine would agree to easily.
Eventually she excuses herself, hearing the door click open. "I've got romantic dinner plans with my wife… so later. I love you." Cosima hangs up quickly.
"The sisters?" Delphine prompts. She knows, of course but they don't need to rehash everything.
"Yeah… I didn't tell them. How are you feeling now?" Maybe the walk had done Delphine good.
"I… keep crying. It's the hormones. My belly is so sore… I hope… I hope they're ready to extract the ova."
"Hey. It'll be ready when it's ready… We could joke about my useless tail-less pseudo-sperm?" Cosima offers. That vial was already at a private clinic nearby. Awaiting thawing. Delphine had arranged transport for their hard won gametes ahead of time. She'd confirmed twice that they'd arrived and were sitting in cryo storage. Cosima is surprised Delphine didn't insist on photographic evidence, but that was something that could wait.
"I just hope… they thaw well…" Delphine worries her lip again. "It was so much effort to get them, but they have to be frozen or… they'd be suspicious."
"Well, we know it'll kill half of them…. And that will leave… 20 ish?" Cosima thinks it out. They'd only managed to get 40 or so out of her bone marrow.
"It will be enough." Delphine nods. "And if not… we could freeze the eggs and try again later."
"With the frozen marrow. Fun…" Cosima quips with a shudder. She will not allow Delphine to harvest her again. Not without a good reason.
"Let's get you to your appointment." Cosima rubs her wife's back. And she notes there is swelling, or… bloating. But says nothing of it. The last thing she needs to hear is how Delphine feels like her ovaries are grapefruit sized.
They get through the appointment with the good news that the ova are ready, and they give her a trigger injection. Which, Cosima quickly learns takes 36 hours before they do the actual extraction. Delphine nearly cries. It is far less romantic than Cosima intended. She'd hoped for some good hotel sex. Some sort of truth to their lies. But beyond good meals and frequent walks and lots of snuggles Delphine does little but worry and cry.
Finally extraction day arrives, and they wait in the small posh waiting room. Cosima's not sure who Delphine knows to get in here. Only that the doctors they are using won't ask questions. They're paid far too much for that.
"You're gorgeous." Cosima tells her wife as they're being led back. She's allowed in for the extraction, but only until Delphine is sedated.
"Non. I'm swollen and agitated and...overly emotional." Delphine corrects her.
"Temporary… It'll be over soon." Cosima soothes. She holds Delphine's hand. "30 minutes."
"30 minutes." Delphine confirms.
Cosima gets the unenviable job of confirming the vial is theirs before that too is whisked off to make the embryos. She confirms to the doctor, who looks vaguely familiar, that they are not implanting any embryos and they are all being frozen for later. Which at least means, that this part is over for Delphine.
It takes another ten minutes past what she expected before she's found by a middle-aged nurse named Bev and led to the recovery room. Cosima enters the small, well appointed room to see Delphine laying on a bed, looking tired and a bit groggy.
"I love you." Delphine grips her face, her anxiety plain, as soon as she's awake enough. "Tu es la femme de ma vie…"
"I love you too." Cosima croons, not knowing exactly why this is making Delphine feel so… affectionate. Delphine looks like she's about two seconds away from proposing marriage again. She kisses Delphine for a few moments, trying to offer comfort the best she can. Maybe it's just the sedative? Maybe something about being forced to be a patient instead of a doctor is too...vulnerable?
"Do you know how many?" Her wife asks after breaking the kiss. Delphine doesn't have to elaborate that she's talking about her ova. Cosima strokes her hair gently. Why Delphine was so intent on putting herself through all this, she knew and still couldn't believe how much this mere possibility meant to her wife.
Cosima shakes her head. "No… they haven't told me yet. But, they're going to do ICSI as planned, and then they'll let me know."
Twenty minutes later, the doctor enters the room. He is maybe ten years older than they are. Cosima observes him and decides within a few minutes that she doesn't trust him at all.
"Dr. Müller." Delphine greets him politely. But there's no warmth there. Delphine might sort of know him, but he's clearly far from a friend.
"Dr. Cormier. Mrs...Cormier." He nods… He mostly avoids talking to Cosima altogether after that and Cosima finds herself wondering how much he knows. She knows former Dyad staff were siloed. But… Maybe he...knows?
"How many?" Cosima asks, intent on making herself part of the conversation.
"We got… 21 ova… and we will see how many fertilize. I have an embryologist doing ICSI on them now. The sperm is… not the best quality. I would have suggested a more potent donor."
"That's good." Delphine nods. "We… we will see how many fertilize." She ignores the donor comment, so Cosima does as well.
"Yes. We will let them grow for five days, take a cell sample from each for PGD and freeze as requested."
"Yes, then I want them shipped in cryotanks back to the lab requested. It's all written in the file." Delphine informs him shortly. Delphine had planned all of this, Cosima knows. Down to the last detail of where their embryos would go before anyone took a too close look at them.
"You don't wish to store the embryos with us? We do have competitive rates for storage fees…"
"I do not." Delphine clarifies. "You know this. We discussed the terms. You make the embryos and ship them to a clinic of my choice."
"What are you making, Delphine?" Dr. Müller asks again. He looks down at his clipboard. "Really?"
"You know this… I am trying to have a baby with my wife. We are booked in as Dr. and Mrs. Cormier. This has all been discussed."
Dr. Müller shrugs at her. Apparently he doesn't trust Delphine either, as easily as he'll take her money.
Cosima cannot contain herself any longer. "You were Dyad." She's certain now, 100% certain that she's seen this man before.
"I was." He confirms with no fanfare. "I don't really care what you're making. As long as I get paid. Whether or not you create anything viable."
"No academic curiosity at all?" Cosima points out the discrepancy.
"No. I don't need to know." Dr. Müller shrugs. "This clinic pays better than Dyad did. I am quite happy where I am, thank you."
"He worked on Dr. Leekie's artificial womb project." Delphine tells her unnecessarily. "He...was in a different stream."
"Different stream than?" Dr. Müller perks up, but only briefly.
"Cosima and I… we both worked at Dyad." Delphine tells him with a shrug. "It's how we met."
"Right…" Dr. Müller doesn't seem to care much more than that. "We test embryos for all inheritable genetic conditions, testing is not customizable without further fees, all test results will be emailed to you when they are complete. As requested, all surviving 5 day embryos will be shipped out in our next Canada shipment once they are frozen. All this is done at extra cost to you, the patient."
Cosima speaks up quickly. "And Delphine… when will she be… up and about?"
"Tomorrow." He says plainly, before handing them a package of forms and stepping back out into the hallway. "When the sedative wears off, you're free to go. Dr. Cormier cannot drive for 24 hours. Please ensure she doesn't. Doctors make the worst patients."
"Good. Thank you." Delphine responds fairly calmly considering. "Can I get more painkillers, please?"
"Yes. I'll send a nurse around with something a little stronger." Dr. Müller is content enough to leave them be.
"How do you feel?"
"Very, very sore." Delphine tells her plainly. "It hurts… I knew it would."
"You're really brave." Cosima tells her wife. "Like, crazy determined amounts of brave. I would not put myself through… all this. Even if I could."
"We could… We could have tried to extract ova from you…" Delphine bites her lip leaning back. "Would you have wanted to try that?"
"And where would that get us? Then we'd need to harvest you ." Cosima shakes her head. That sounds crazy. And unlikely to be successful given everything else.
"Right… right…" Delphine lets out a long sigh, and clutches her hand close to her heart.
"How about… I get us a delicious takeout supper and I take you back to the hotel room and we just chill."
"Movie night?" Delphine asks.
"Oh definitely a movie night… we can watch that new… umm that Portrait of a Lady on Fire movie. I bet we can find it to stream."
"Portrait d'une jeune fille en feu?" Delphine repeats in French. Which Cosima knew she would but it makes her shake her head.
"Yes that one. But with subtitles for me, thanks." Cosima smiles. "Let me take care of you now." That is something that didn't happen quite enough in their marriage. Delphine letting her be the caretaker. Letting her make sure Delphine's needs were met. And it has to. Especially when they decide to unfreeze the embryos and pop one in.
"Alright. I can do that. Can you book our flight back?"
"Yeah. Of course. I'll do it as soon as we get back."
"I want to see the embryos in person before we leave." Delphine tells her.
"Will they let you?"
"Maybe… Maybe not. But I want to ask."
"Right." Cosima nods.
The two days later, before their flight, Delphine gets her wish. She gowns up and follows Delphine led by Dr. Müller.
"There are your embryos… we have ten that took." Dr. Müller seems pleased with this for now. "They are dividing, and look... Normal enough for now. We'll see what tomorrow brings. By day five we'll have a better idea of morphology. We'll label, run the basic testing and release the frozen embryos to you."
"What about the cells…?" Delphine asks. "Will... will there be raw material that I can take with me? Are you sampling today?"
"What about them? And yes, we will sample today or tomorrow. Once we run the genetic testing… we'll know more. And your custom test… we can run it. But nothing else. I mean, I can provide you with some samples, but you'd have to wait another day before flying home. You can discard the embryos based on the results if you wish."
Cosima understands that this is running them upwards of 20K, even without the special requests. She isn't sure Dr. Müller knew about the clones at all.
"Good. Thank you." Delphine is composed again, which is a lot easier to do not wearing a hospital gown.
"We offer a wide variety of services and testing…" Dr. Müller smiles again, and Cosima finds this effect...hideous. "For a price."
"And we are willing to pay." Delphine assures him. "Aren't we, Cosima."
"Of course we are." Cosima tries to feign more confidence in this plan. She suspects Delphine has it under control, but they should be running testing themselves. Somehow, she thinks this process is far from over. She watches as Delphine gets some small biohazard containers, of cells that are likely to die before they reach home. But at least it will permit Delphine to run the extra testing she thinks is paramount. But who could they even trust to help them? Scott would... figure it out, probably. He'd at least realize it was Leda spawn and ask far too many questions.
It's not until they're on the flight home that Delphine seems to relax, to fall into the haze of fatigue she'd been resisting for the better part of the last month.
"You're so tired." Cosima comments looking over at her wife.
"I… am completely exhausted." Delphine agrees. "Between the telomerase experiment… and our special little project… I… I don't recall the last time we just… relaxed together. For more than an hour or two."
"That decides it." Cosima tells her clearly. "Next weekend, you and I are having a real date. A whole day together. Brunch. Farmer's market. Walk… you'll make me soup… Or out for dinner. We can see what's on at the AGO… Or… maybe take a weekend in Niagara-on-the-Lake? Or like… Stratford?" Cosima throws out a series of romantic ideas.
"Cosima…"
"What? It's true."
"Well of course it's true… cooking for you isn't difficult." Delphine leans her head down against her arm, letting her blonde hair cover her face.
"We need time. Just for us. Dinners out. Fun museum dates… all of it. Let's just… play for a while."
"Sounds good." Delphine agrees sleepily.
"When we get home." Cosima tells her, pressing a soft kiss to the side of Delphine's face. "And… we can pick up the slack in other areas we've been neglecting."
"I… I did for you though." Delphine argues quietly.
"Yes, quickly… in the shower… three weeks ago." Cosima hadn't bothered to ask with the extra hormones… and Delphine hadn't offered. It wasn't the time.
"We'll make good on it." Delphine mumbles.
"Mmmm…. I look forward to it." Cosima half-purrs, trying to avoid too much attention from other passengers.
"Not as much as I do, ma chérie." Delphine tells her softly, giving her hand a quick squeeze before dozing off.
Cosima wonders then, if anything could feel more perfect than the promise of more time with Delphine.