July 2021
It was the worst week ever. Cosima grumbled her way back to her hotel room. Her leather satchel is slung over her shoulder, containing her laptop, and her notes. And all of it suddenly feels so inadequate. So stupid. She shouldn't have used insects. Shouldn't have tried to draw comparisons to cloned mammals. Should have stuck to what was written in her dissertation. Should have kept it strong, and …. Better than this.
'You've never worked with cloned mammals' .
The voice of one of the committee rings in her ears. If only they knew. Cosima slides the card into the slot, and opens the door. Once inside, she finally removes her mask. She'd found compliance was lower in Minnesota than Toronto. But what could she do about that? Talking about it would just worry Delphine. Who had only had one dose of Moderna before finding out she was pregnant. Even now she knows Delphine was waffling with whether to take her second dose before 12 weeks, or wait until the fetus is more developed. August 12th, Cosima thought. The day Delphine hits 12 weeks of pregnancy couldn't come fast enough.
She should be home with Delphine. Whose breasts were already enlarged and sensitive and who had developed an unexpected obsession with pineapple before they'd even hit five weeks. Eggs turned Delphine's stomach but besides that they'd been lucky. Minimal vomiting and mild nausea only.
They're sitting at 9 weeks now, and it's not quite pregnant enough. Though as weeks go by Delphine seems more and more confident that everything is going fine. Cosima thinks about being away from Delphine right now. She'd reluctantly left ten days ago, catching a plane in Toronto. She'd submitted her negative antigen tests, and due to her American citizenship, was permitted to enter the country even if Canadians were not allowed. French citizens weren't either, Cosima sighed. Delphine had to stay home, vaccinations and pregnancy aside.
Cosima throws her bag onto the king sized bed. If she could have just brought Delphine with her, everything would be fine. Maybe she even would have passed. At the very least they could have rolled around this bed together. Dopamine has to be good for lowering stress levels, improving function. And maybe getting to use a harness before Delphine can no longer comfortably wear one.
Her phone vibrates, and she knows it is Delphine. Eager for an update on how things went with her dissertation defence. They'd been in near constant virtual contact and it wasn't enough. She'd hated being away from Delphine in Minnesota before the pandemic, and now, she just hates it more.
"I didn't pass." Cosima starts up, unable to stop the small sad smile or the tears that prick at her eyes.
"Oh… mon amour…" Delphine bites her lip, looking just as sad.
"You know...I'll like… try again. I'm going to meet with my advisors tomorrow. We'll have one last meeting and go over the changes, suggested edits, and schedule a date for a second attempt." She knows this. Logically she knows this, but she feels like breaking down.
Delphine is calm, reassuring as usual. "Ma chérie… You will pass next time."
"Says the woman who passed on her first try." Cosima gets the words out and Delphine's face falls. She knows it's true. Delphine had defended her dissertation on host parasite relationships on her first try. And she hadn't.
"I am also not defending my dissertation during a pandemic, in another country… away from my wife and unborn child." Delphine tells her calmly. "It is unfair to compare us."
"Maybe… still feels crappy. Can I just come home now?" Cosima lets herself whine. And she could. She could try to change her flight times and get the hell out of here.
"After your meeting tomorrow… yes. Don't forget you need to get a PCR test before you sleep tonight. It'll make the airport smoother. I know you're taking a night flight. And you'll be back early Thursday morning." Delphine reminds her. "I will pick you up."
"So you're not going to make me quarantine?" Cosima had wondered if Delphine would change her mind during this brief separation. It hadn't been part of the plan, she was fully vaccinated and Delphine had agreed that that was likely sufficient.
"Legally… you do not have to. You are fully vaccinated. But… as we know, you could still contract covid. The Delta variant is particularly concerning… I am… thinking about taking my second dose tomorrow. They have stock at a nearby pharmacy. And appointment slots."
Cosima suspects it's the possibility that she may still be able to transmit covid that is weighing on Delphine's mind. "At 9 weeks?"
"Yes. I've decided the risk of unknown effects on the fetus is outweighed by the risk of me contracting covid during my pregnancy."
"OK." Cosima nods. She told Delphine she'd support either decision, take the dose or wait. She'd stuck to the rules, campus or hotel room, no socializing, no eating out. Everything she and Delphine had agreed on to mitigate risks.
"It will still take two weeks to develop antibodies." Cosima reasons it out. "Like either way, you're going to be exposed to whatever I bring home with me."
"I know… part of me would rather wait. In case something happens I don't want to second guess myself. And I feel irresponsible not having taken it yet."
"Because you're in your first trimester." Cosima reminds her. "And yes, I know there's good evidence now that it is safe during pregnancy. But you're understandably more comfortable waiting for 12 weeks."
"I know...but… I am a doctor. I should just take it." Delphine sighs. And Cosima can see the struggle, logic and emotions. "Both our GP and our new midwives say it is up to me, but they all recommended I be vaccinated long before I give birth. And we know that I would have to book an appointment, disclose that I am pregnant and then consent to receive the vaccination."
"Wonders of emergency approval. And yeah, you could. Or you could wait three weeks. Either way, you'll have it in time for September." Cosima smiles. Her wife was teaching two summer courses through the summer. Which was.. Challenging to say the least. But at least they'd had time together. Until she'd had to go to Minneapolis just to fail her defence.
"Our first midwife appointment is next week." Delphine reminds her. "Though they will take my calls. Rachel seems very competent."
"And I'll… wait in the car. I guess." Cosima grumbles. She knows that in typical years partners are allowed to attend appointments. And while she may not have chosen to attend all of Delphine's prenatal appointments she'd have really liked to have the option. She'd researched their primary midwife, Rachel who was in her mid-40s and experienced. She had no issue with it, and was pleased with the decision to pursue midwifery care.
"They know the baby is ours, Cosima. I have told them I have a wife, named Cosima and that we are expecting this baby together." Delphine had very open about that much, being in a lesbian relationship, being married. Wanting to ensure that she and Cosima were completely welcome and assigned to a midwife that would be cool with the whole queer marriage thing.
"But I don't get to meet them until you're like...giving birth." Cosima sighs. The separation didn't help. She wasn't particularly maternal. She wasn't carrying the baby… and she wasn't allowed to attend prenatal appointments or ultrasounds.
"Not necessarily. Restrictions may ease as the pregnancy progresses." Delphine remains optimistic about that, even with her occasional delta doom.
"How are you feeling?"
"I ate three cans of pineapple in two days." Delphine admits. "My nipples are sore… I think I'm losing my waist… all… normal. I am still nauseous if my stomach is too empty. So I keep snacking periodically. It seems good. Hormones seem to be rising."
"Well at least it's...tasty." Cosima suggests. "And that's good. Just… keep gestating." Coisma throws out with a half smile.
"It is… but it is weird. I do not even like pineapple that much." Delphine makes a face.
"Now you do." Cosima softens. "Did you go ahead and order some maternity things?"
"I did… I don't know how much longer I'll be comfortable in my own clothes. For now… it is fine. Except my bras, those are already tight. But I think sooner than I'd like I'll need maternity pants."
"Wow…. so you think by 12 weeks?" Cosima is now fantasizing about getting home and getting Delphine naked to get a good look at her. But she decides not to share that. First trimester had been less sexy than she'd hoped, they managed to make love about once a week. And Delphine was tired.
"I think by 10 or 11. I am not big… but it's… getting less comfortable. I tried that belly band thing but… it is not comfortable. And it's summer. So… maternity shorts? Or capris? Something light."
"Wow." Cosima nods, wondering if she'll notice the difference almost two weeks makes in early pregnancy.
"I've actually… euh… worn loose dresses for the last two days. Even to work." Delphine comments with mild embarrassment.
"I think that's OK." Cosima tells her. "You have to be comfortable. Who cares if you don't have much belly yet. If maternity clothes feel more comfortable, wear those."
"I guess it doesn't matter." Delphine agrees. "I am… excited for the changes… as strange as it will be."
"You'll still be gorgeous." Cosima reassures her. "Through the whole pregnancy." That, Cosima thinks, is what Delphine needs to hear. That her desire won't change, that she'll want Delphine just as much when the baby is bigger. And she assumes she will, because it'll still be Delphine. Even if things get weird.
"As long as you still think so, that is enough for me." Delphine smiles at her. "Now… tell me about your defence."
"Like, where I went wrong?"
"No. Start with what worked. And then work out the rest." Delphine encourages her, and Cosima figures processing it with her wife is a good start.
"Well for starters I shouldn't extrapolate to cloned mammals."
Delphine laughs into her hand. "I think you can, but for your dissertation we should… avoid that talk."
"Yeah. No 'sestras' outing." Cosima smiles back. "I mean… parts were OK. I just need to be better."
"And you will be. You will pass next time." Delphine tells her confidently. And Cosima lets herself believe her.
August 2021
Less than three days after Delphine's second dose they're touring houses again. Three semis and a condo that neither of them really want. Cosima follows behind Delphine, who now wears maternity pants and underwear despite not really showing. She notices the difference, Cosima thinks. Particularly when Delphine is naked, but suspects it is still not obvious to those around them that Delphine is in fact pregnant and not just gaining a little weight.
This house though, Cosima looks around. This one was worth seeing. And from the look on Delphine's face, her wife thinks so too.
"So?" Cosima prompts as they're hovering in the kitchen of the semi. She glances at the cabinetry, thinking that it looks perfectly suitable.
"Cosima… I want this house." Delphine tells her very plainly. Delphine is wearing a medical mask, having decided to take every possible precaution due to her single-dose status. But Cosima can clearly read the expression on her wife's face.
Cosima looks around at the perfect semi. The exterior brick had been painted blue, and instead of finding it garish they'd both delighted in it. It was perfect. A perfect family home. It even had a deck and a small yard.
"I love it too… We'll… put in an offer." Privately, Cosima thinks this is bound for disappointment. It was at the very top of their budget. Listed just over a million. The mark she'd made Delphine promise they wouldn't cross.
"Merci…" Delphine looks around the house again starry-eyed. "I can picture us here, Cosima. All three of us."
Cosima cannot help but wonder what Delphine is picturing exactly. Likely a fantasy of cuddling the baby on the couch in the sunshine. Or putting a baby swing in the middle of the room and cuddling as the motion made the tiny tot drift off to sleep.
"Three?" Their realtor, Brianna pops up. She's youngish and has been finding houses to tour every two to three days with no luck so far. Toronto prices are the worst, Cosima thinks. But unless they want to take Alison's suggestion to move out to the suburbs and suffer through hour plus long commutes each way, there was no way around it.
And while they weren't really telling people Cosima decides to come out with it. "Yeah. Delphine is pregnant. We're having a baby." It was good for practice, the more she said it, the easier it would be.
"Congratulations." Brianna confirms. "So… are we going to make a more aggressive offer this time? It will likely go into a bidding war."
"Cosima…" Delphine pleads with her, and Cosima relents with a sigh.
"OK. We'll… make a more aggressive offer." Cosima nods. There goes their budget. But a hormonal pregnant Delphine was really hard to say no to.
They make their way home, Delphine seeming upbeat even as she's emailing their lawyer from her phone.
"So we're making an offer."
"Yes. But not a high one… I know it's over budget… but I want it Cosima!" Delphine looks suddenly so hopeful.
"I can tell. I really like it too…" Cosima draws it out. "So are you ready for outdoor clone-fest tomorrow?"
"I am…" Delphine nods. "I'm making that vegan pasta salad you love… and… Do you want to bring the beyond meat sausages in the freezer? We could just have Donnie toss them onto the grill?"
"Yeah. that's the plan for them." Cosima works it out. "So… we're telling clone club."
"Yes." Delphine confirms. "All at once, so it is fair." That was what they had agreed, they'd tell Sarah, Helena and Alison together. Keep it as even as possible.
"It's best that way." Cosima agrees. "But… I only want to tell them we did IVF."
"And if they ask about...the other genetic component?" Delphine puts it out there cautiously. "Our… unique conception method… you want that to remain secret?"
"Yeah. For now. I just… I want them to see us having a baby not like… making a science experiment out of it." Cosima lowers her voice, she looks away for a minute. To her, the baby was just a baby. That was all they needed to be.
"Cosima… our daughter will be perfect." Delphine starts her words slowly. "She is ours, ma chérie … and they may be able to guess once she is born."
"You know… I don't think any of them… except maybe Charlotte - if she's branching out from geology - would think to ask if we made sperm out of my bone marrow. In fact, I don't see it coming up." Cosima turns back to look at Delphine, who is smiling indulgently at her.
"OK. We will keep the specifics between us. And if they ask about the sperm?"
"They won't… I mean Donnie might…like in an awkward way. Alison will shut him down and no one else will care. And Scott will be there. I think… so...yeah." Cosima sighs. "Shit."
"Non, mon amour. It is not shit. They probably will not ask. We will tell them we did IVF and they will either not think much of it or assume we used a sperm donor."
"I mean… we kind of did." Cosima throws it out, shrugging as she gestures. "We had my bone marrow harvested and processed…"
"You are not a donor. You are a parent ." Delphine's tone firms. "You will be mommy to this baby."
"Yeah. I mean I assumed we were going with 'mommy' and 'maman'." Cosima had thought that was the plan, two mothers.
"That was my plan, yes." Delphine wraps an arm around her. "And we will just tell them we're excited for our baby… and nervous too. They'll ask politely about the pregnancy. It will be fine."
"Yeah yeah." Cosima nods trying to quell her nerves. Being a mom was going to be enough of a trip, without the rest of it.
She wakes to the sound of Delphine cooking and rolls over. Cosima thinks they may have time for a pre-reunion romp but after last night she's not sure. A large pregnancy pillow now takes up a good fourth of their queen sized bed. Delphine had informed her she couldn't wear the harness anymore, it was no longer comfortable. And that had put a cramp in her plans for her evening.
"Cosima… I need you to sign the offer virtually. I emailed it to you." Delphine calls to the bedroom.
"On it!" Cosima calls back and rummages blindly for her phone on the bedside table. She signs the offer, trying not to panic at the ten digit offer. It's done, she thinks. Whether they get the house or not is totally out of their control.
"We need to leave soon, mon amour." Delphine calls again. "I am just chilling the pasta salad."
"So what are you chopping?"
"I'm making pineapple salsa." Delphine admits only after she's stepped into the main room.
"Looks good… smells great." Cosima assures her. "Like you're outdoing yourself." Delphine is surrounded by containers, and using all of their cutting boards. It is overkill.
"I just… need to make sure there's enough food. Do you think we should bring sauerkraut?"
"I think Alison will have some… You've seen her pantry… and her storage room. She's constantly stocked for an apocalypse." Cosima shrugs it off. "Are you… that hungry?"
"I am … fairly hungry. Yes." Delphine sighs. "Eat breakfast. There are leftover muffins…"
"Yep. On it." Cosima bites into an apple muffin. Made by Delphine just yesterday. "So are we going to talk about last night?"
"What about it?" Delphine shrugs, unbothered.
"That wearing a harness is no longer comfortable for you." Cosima sighs. "If it was uncomfortable, why did you keep it on so long?" As she recalls, Delphine had kept it strapped on through cunnilingus and then rode her to two orgasms before removing the harness and dropping the ensemble to the floor.
"Because I wanted to give you what you wanted. At least one last time." Delphine stops cooking. "I know you occasionally like toys… and I don't….as much. I wanted to do it once more."
"We could reverse things." Cosima tries. "I could wear it more often… I do sometimes for you." Sometimes, Cosima thought, usually ended up being like 4-6 times a year depending on Delphine's moods.
"We could, yes. But my desire to please you has not gone away." Delphine points out, putting the knife to the side as she scrapes more vegetables into the large bowl. "More cilantro? What do you think?"
"Sure. And I get that. You don't want to squash the baby." Cosima guesses they'd have to stop that activity sooner or later, physics would prevent it if not Delphine's comfort. She doubts they make harnesses for pregnant lesbians. Though maybe there's a market for it.
"The baby is fine. I am uncomfortable." Delphine clarifies. "Amniotic fluid protects her."
"Yeah." Cosima nods, feeling a little guilty still. "We can make love other ways… I definitely want to keep going through the whole pregnancy." The desire to connect was stronger than ever, and part of Cosima wondered if it was jealousy? Or wanting to be more connected to the pregnancy? Or even just to Delphine? Her drive was up, whether or not Delphine was on the same time.
"And we can. And we will." Delphine affirms this. "We need to get ready, we're going to be late."
"Right… I'll finish my muffin and jump in the shower." Cosima returns to the task at hand, not being late to the clone-reunion.
She's nervous as they park the car out on the street in Bailey Downs. She can tell Sarah is already here, she's parked her truck in front of the house. A couple other familiar vehicles as well.
"Hopefully Alison and Donnie don't get in trouble with the neighbours." Cosima mutters as they climb out of the car.
"It will be fine. Make sure you bring a mask." Delphine picks up the soft-sided cooler and climbs out of the A4.
They head immediately for the backyard - as specifically instructed in the emails. Delphine isn't dressed to hide her pregnancy but still Cosima thinks it's barely obvious. Other than that her wife's waist has disappeared and a tiny belly has appeared. That and the pregnancy boobs.
"You're late!" Alison chides them as she lets them both in. "Come in quick… we don't want to get gawkers… again."
"Cosima and Delphine." Sarah announces them, with a shake of her head. She looks amused. A cluster of teenage girls sit on blankets on one side of the yard as Donnie continues to grill. Looks like they aren't that late after all. Art stands off to the side, looking more tired than ever. Scott stands next to him and gives a small wave.
"So we have big news." Delphine starts but hesitates, waiting for Cosima to finish.
"Yeah, we're pregnant. Well… Delphine is." Cosima announces pulling Delphine by the hand into the gathering. She throws a smile on her face, trying to be as upbeat as possible.
"Congratulations!" Alison's response is immediate. A wide smile, even as her face portrays genuine surprise at their news. Cosima supposes with her feelings on motherhood it cannot be anything else.
"Shite… congrats Cos." Sarah nods in what she assumes is supposed to be a supportive way. Cal is nowhere to be seen, and Cosima wonders if he's here or not. Oscar isn't outside either, so perhaps there are some people in the house?
"You made a pandemic baby." Felix looks them both over. "Seriously… Like you must have done it on purpose."
"There was a lot of science and technology involved." Delphine states simply, determined not to lie.
"We did IVF." Cosima clarifies. That term is familiar enough to the group and met with nodding.
They get the beyond meat sausages on the grill, next to the meat versions and settle in. Delphine makes herself useful setting out her two salads, pineapple salsa and bag of tortilla chips.
"Oooh this looks good." Charlotte pops up behind her, and Cosima smiles. They don't make physical contact. The usual hugging is replaced by waving, but at least they are together.
"Thank you Charlotte." Delphine looks around. "I need to use the washroom." Cosima watches her wife mask up, and then cautiously makes her way into the house.
"Downstairs only please." Alison calls after her. "It's closer anyway!"
"So… a baby." Sarah starts with an amused smirk. "When did that happen?"
"Uhh we made the embryos before the pandemic because Delphine wanted to make sure her eggs weren't too old… we sped up our timeline in like… March? Like any international travel plans we had are just off… so… we proceeded on the baby thing." Cosima tries to remember the particulars. "We got lucky, our second transfer worked."
"Wow!" Alison smiles. "Have you met your OB yet? Delphine must have had at least one appointment. She's what? At least 8 weeks?"
"Uhh we're with midwives actually. The practice in Riverdale. And Delphine is 12 weeks pregnant now." Cosima corrects. The fact she's never been there either is still a bit of a sore spot. No partners to appointments. No partners at ultrasounds. She feels so separate from everything, even though Delphine ensures to record all her questions. They'd already asked about the Toronto Birth Centre and intend to tour, hopefully in person, late in the year.
"Midwives?" Alison repeats as if she's misheard.
"Sounds like Cos." Sarah nods. "S would approve… I think. That's what you got back home… I think. Women and kids around her house all the time you hear things." Sarah remains both unperturbed and relaxed. In fact, Cosima's not sure she's ever seen Sarah look this relaxed. Maybe Cal was good for her now. As if on cue, Cal pops out of the house with a large box of Costco sweet potato crackers.
"You wanted these ones Alison?" Cal asks. "Oh hey Cosima, Delphine." He says nothing of the pregnancy, or maybe doesn't notice. Delphine's coworkers hadn't said anything either… something that is starting to annoy Delphine.
"Yes… great thanks Cal." Alison thanks him quickly. And he goes to sit next to Sarah. His hair is greying, Cosima thinks. Then again so is she now. Delphine has pointed it out to her in the mirror more than once.
"But… Delphine is so… French and sophisticated. Are midwives even a thing in France?"
Cosima wants to laugh, Delphine may seem that way, at first glance. But the nerdy, dorky side of Delphine always came out...sooner or later. At least with her. And maybe that was the best part of all.
"Umm yeah. Midwives are a thing in France. So are obstetricians. You get both there… That's how that system works. Here, we choose. And Delphine and I chose midwives."
"So… we should plan like a gender reveal? Outside…of course. When will Delphine hit 20 weeks?" Alison is quick to offer this. "We could get a cake done… or balloon popping. How would you like to do it?"
"Honey," Donnie pitches in. "Aren't those out of vogue now with the… ones that cause forest fires?"
"No… they're very popular Donnie. And lots of couples opt for them. We could all use a celebration and celebrating Cosima and Delphine's baby is a great opportunity." Alison is firm on this and Cosima wonders if they could fake surprise at pink confetti or pink icing. Because undoubtedly that's what it would be.
"I'll be 20 weeks in October." Delphine tells them. Offering no further information and looking to Cosima.
Cosima is quick to shut it down. "Yeah we don't want to make a big deal out of the baby's genitals. I mean, really it tells you how the kid is going to pee. Not much else, necessarily."
"So you're not going to find out if it's a boy or a girl?" Helena jumps it. "I did not find out… two boys. But… I didn't care. I just wanted babies."
Helena's sons are playing with nerf guns and a soccer ball not far away. The game looks increasingly dangerous but as neither Helena or Alison intervenes, Cosima tries to ignore it.
"We're going to find out." Delphine saves her quickly. "But only to help with names. Bilingually naming is hard enough so we will narrow it down before we start working on names. We aren't going to make a big deal of it. We will tell you all, of course."
That settles things and Alison begins talking to Delphine about a possible shower right before Christmas, weather and restrictions permitting.
Cosima sits back and feels relieved when Donnie hands her one of her beyond meat sausages in a bun.
"Here you go, Cosima." He hands her the plate with a smile and then gets the other for Delphine. "I think your wife will be trapped with mine a little longer." He adds in a low voice.
"So she's knocked up." Felix comments, sipping his beer. "I didn't really take you for the wife and kids sort of lesbian. I don't actually know many of those kinds of lesbians."
"Things change." Cosima shrugs. She's still unsure of what kind of mother she will be. But she'll find out soon clearly, like it or not.
"So… you're like the dad? Sort of?" Donnie begins awkwardly, only to have Alison look at him sharply. Pulled out of her conversation.
Cosima wants to laugh at the accuracy of it all. But chooses to keep her face as neutral as she can. She knows Delphine probably wants to laugh too.
"They're moms, Donnie. Both moms. We've been through this before with that one family… remember? They live on Banchory…. Two little boys… two moms..."
"Yeah the … uh…same sex couple who live three blocks away." Donnie seems to recall this. "Their younger son played with DJ and Arthur sometimes. Pre-pandemic."
"I mean I guess I sort of feel like the dad." Cosima tilts her head considering. "But… like not in a masculine parent way, just in a… disconnect way? It's not happening in my body… it's…. All happening in Delphine. So I'm like… separate from it."
Donnie is quick with a suggestion. "You should write a book. On your unique perspective."
Cosima lowers her face, laughing dryly. "Yeah pretty sure that's been done."
"So baby shower?" Alison interrupts. "We are going to do it, either in person, in early December… or virtually. Everyone in?"
The voices chorus in favour, and she knows they're stuck. So Cosima just tries to find Delphine's eyes. She finds her wife looks excited and pleased by this. So she tries to do the same. A baby shower. Well… she supposes they cannot get out of that.
Sarah eases her lawn chair closer. Sitting quietly beside her, offering her own sort of support.
Cal seems to have put it together. "Congrats Cosima. That's… that's great."
"The last baby." Helena nods. "There… there will be no more babies after this. There is just one...yes?"
"Yeah Helena. Just one." Cosima laughs genuinely at this.
"I guess not." Alison thinks aloud. "Not for a long time."
She feels more separate than before. Helena's boys are almost 7 years old. Kira, Charlotte, Gemma and Oscar are all teenagers. And she and Delphine will be wading through diapers. Their kid will be so much younger than the others. Left out maybe? Or just... different in that way too.
"Mon amour…" Delphine moves closer, gripping her hand.
"I am fine… just getting ahead of myself."
"Speaking of getting ahead of ourselves. I have one bit of bad news... I checked my phone." Delphine adds quietly. "We were outbid on the perfect house. By 50000$."
"Shit." Cosima curses lowering her head. There would be time to deal with that later. She guesses. She can tell Delphine is visibly disappointed, or trying to tell her how they should counter bid. "So what now?"
"Don't get too ahead, Cosima. Stay here with me. There's joy here." Delphine tries to convince both of them.
"Yeah. Yeah." Cosima agrees, bringing herself back to the present. She needs to enjoy this time with her sisters. Who knows how long it will be before they get this chance again.