Chapter 7

I paced on the roof garden of the townhouse shivering in the cold waiting for Azriel to come get me, the air was cold and I drew my cloak tighter around me. My breath came out in puffs as the snow fell around me, I gazed out at the city before me warm lights shining in windows and smoke puffing from chimneys.

He was late, he said he had to run an errand before the meeting tonight and would be back at dusk. The sun was almost below the horizon now and I was about to try and fly myself. I have faded false memories of me flying, soring through the sky. But this form hasn't flown in many years and I havent been practicing with them yet. I now held them up so they wouldn't drag on the ground and have been practicing lifting them, I could hold them up for up to a minute now but the muscled still ached and pulled painfully.

I was about to attempt a flight of my own practicing flapping them when I felt a small gust of air from behind me. I turned to see Azriel in what looked like full Illerian fighting leathers. I groaned and scowled at him.

'Whatever is that look for?' he asked taking me in, I was wearing the gown he had practically forced me to buy and one of the cloaks I bought that was lined with that silvery thread. My hair was washed and flowed freely down my back in loose waves that framed my face. I had to admit I looked really good even if I was still too thin and gaunt.

'How is it fair you get to wear something you are comfortable in and I am in this?' I gestured to him and then to myself. 'I am going to whine all night about how uncomfortable I am ya know, so you better be ready.' A chuckle came down the bond as he stepped towards me and he held out his hand to me.

'Shall we go then?' he sounded amused I tried to ignore the humor in his eyes as I took his hand, In a quick fluid motion he had swept me up in his arms and with a powerful downward stroke of his wings we were in the air the city growing smaller as we left it behind. After this meeting my fate here will be decided and I will start training in any way I can to get stronger. Starting with physical exercise and working my way up to flying.

As we approached the house of wind I noticed all the lights and commotion through the large windows leading from the balcony and into the large dining chamber. Azriel landed gracefully and set me down.

'we cant winnow in here so we have to fly, once all this business is over with and we find a place for you we will start your training and get you flying independently soon enough'. I gave him a grateful smile as Feyre approached us.

"you ready?" she asked smiling, her lips moving slowly enough for me to read. I nodded and gave a small smile and she gestured for me to follow Azriel into the large room. At the center was a large grand table filled with every dish you could think of.

The food smelled amazing and my mouth watered, there were at least three different kinds of potatoes very vegetable you could think of and roast chicken and duck. At the table already was Rhysand talking animatedly with Cassian and Azriel ad they nudged each other with elbows and laughed. Two women I had not met yet I am assuming Feyres sisters I wasn't sure who was who but the sharp angular one that was seated next to Cassian was watching me pointedly and making me a little nervous. I pulled my cloak tighter around myself even though im pretty sure the chill I was feeling was coming from her stare. The beautiful one sitting next to her was breathtaking with her easy posture, I bet her laugh sounded like music I thought to myself as I stepped closer. Feyre was sitting between the beautiful women of light and laughter and a slight women with short cropped dark hair and silvery eyes whom was at the end of the table.

She directed those eyes at me but I looked away quickly, she scared the hell out of me I would rather face the icy tundra of the women next to Cassian. There was also a male with fiery long red hair striding into the room, he gave Rhysand a curt nod before taking a seat at the table as well. He placed himself across from Feyre and next to the dark haired girl, he didn't seem to be joining into the conversation much he was just watching quietly. Every so often I would notice him glancing at the beautiful women next to feyre, but she didn't seem to be paying him much mind. As she continued her conversation with Feyre and the others.

Lastly Morrigan walked in in a stunning floor length ivory gown that clung to every curve and showed off all of her assets. And boy did she have a lot of them, suddenly I was all to aware how my dress hung off of me in weird spots from my lack of nutrition. My breasts and hips most noticeably were lacking and I just wanted to shrink. I don't know if I was jealous or if I was just insecure and afraid of her, don't know why but her gaze swept right over me and I groaned inwardly.

She took her pace next to the red headed male talking politely as her ruby earrings stood out against her golden hair. Azriel thankfully took the spot next to her leaving me in between cassian and across from Rhysand.

As I sat down I cold feel the mild tension as if everyone was expecting something, Rhysand gave me a kind look and started speaking o the table as well as into my mind.

'I know you are still very new here but I would like to extend a position to you n my inner circle. We have not had female Illyerian in our ranks that hasn't had their wing clipped in many years and I would love for you to be an ambassador of sorts to the other females in the camps. Training with them, showing them it can be done and showing the males that females wings will be left intact no exceptions.'

'What will be expected of me?'

'Well you will need to get in fighting form and re learn how to fly, I shouldn't be too hard as you have flown before and only need to re strengthen your muscles. You will be expected to visit the camps with Cassian when you are ready as he has the most dealings with the Illyerians being my general.'

My blood ran icy at the thought of returning to the fighting camps. My given memories flooded back to the front of my mind. I was not meant to be in those places, I got free and now was expected to go back. And it was at that thought that Morrigan turned her head to me with a look that was very close to pitty, to understanding. I looked from Feyre to Rhysand, had one of them told her what I was thinking? Then Feyres voice came into my mind.

'no one would tell your secrets to anyone, but I think she recognized the look on your face. She goes through something similar as you will be going through. She would be a good person to talk though your feelings with she may be the only one that can really understand.

I laughed dryly 'she hates me she wont even talk to me'

'she is protective of her family and the court of dreams. She will warm up to you, she is truly one of the best females I have the pleasure of knowing.' And with that Feyre gave me a small smile and kept on with her conversation.

I looked back to the male in front of me and nodded my head once and he smiled at me. I would do this, I would make a new life for myself and be useful. I would not cower in fear of my past but would try to face it head on if I could.

I felt a warm hand press against my back and Azriels presence down the bond. Just a comforting touch that I was thankful for, but I would not lean on him to get through this. I would start strength training as soon as the healer gave me the okay to do more physical exercise. I could do this. I was stronger than even I knew and I would prove it by nulling my weight here in this court of dreams.

Then Cassian caught my attention as he pointed out Azriels hand resting on my back, my face got red as I realized he was asking about this morning. He started puckering his lips making a kissey face and all of a sudden the icy women whom I learned was Nesta threw her napkin at him.

'the are mates, shes just keeping him in line.' Came Azriels amused voice down the bond. I giggled as Cassian got up and stood behind Nesta ad drank her entire glass of wine. She slapped his arm as he set the glass down in front of her and placed a kiss on her cheek. She rolled her eyes as he went to sit back down next to me and gave me a wink.

'they know we are mates they can smell it on us since it is so new. They know you have accepted yet and know not to bug you.' I smiled at him but he looked a little sad. I took his hand under the table.

'I promise I just need time to think and adjust, and I want to get stronger on my own and learn some independence. I want to get to know you, and I want you to get to know me.' I know that probably wasn't a the answer he wanted but I knew he respected my decision.

'Lucian and Elain are mates as well. She hasn't accepted the bond either, we aren't really sure if she will or not but he waits patiently, quietly watching over her and protecting her in the only way she will allow.' I glanced back at the two of them, Lucian chewing on a bread roll and watching Elain talk to Nesta. How sad that must be, for your mate to hardly even acknowledge you.

'I promise you we wont be like that.' I gave his hand a squeeze and he squeezed back, I rested my head on his shoulder and just watched the people at the table talking. Cassian was showing off a new dagger he passed to Rhysand and everyone was smiling and laughing. I wish I could hear it, but I watched this family enjoying their dinner and each other's company and smiled at how lucky I had gotten to be given the chance to be a part of this.

Please let me know what you think I am trying to get batter at conversational writing so please R&R!