Chapter 8

Once dinner was over and business talk had finished we all fund ourselves lounging in a plush seating area, Cassian Azriel and Rhysand talking with each other as they lounged in over stuffed chairs and drinking something dark that I was assuming was strong.

Feyre, Nesta, elaine and Morrigan had sat in couches around a low table that had a tea service laid out, Amren had left shortly after dinner. Elain smiled at me and patted the couch next to her beckoning me to sit with them, I smiled and walked over sitting on the soft cushion and all the ladies started giggling. I looked between them grabbing a cup of tea that had been placed before me.

"what?" I tentatively said aloud, "did something happen? Is there something on my face?" I asked starting to panic rubbing at my mouth for any crumbs of food. They all started to chatter quickly even Morrigan had a smirk on her face as she took a drink of wine.

"im sorry I don't know what you are all saying." I said and Elain gave me an apologetic smile. I looked to Feyre for translation.

'They are curious about this morning' my face turned red.

"This morning?" I asked aloud and they all nodded practically in unison. "how do you even know about this morning?"

'oh please ' Feyre crooned in my head. 'the bat boys gossip just as much as we do. And Rhys showed me what he and Cassian witnessed this morning.' My face got even more red as I realized they had all seen me groping Azriel in their kitchen.

"I swear I didnt mean for that to happen in your kitchen." I said sheepishly and they laughed again.

'so are you going to accept the bond? We know you haven't yet since you aren't stuck somewhere trying to make baby Illyerins'. My face got hotter, but I gave a small grin.

"I want to get to know him first and learn how to stand on my own two feet before I accept. I want to be worthy of him and prove I don't need him to be whole and happy." I admitted though it felt more like an excuse as I said it. But then surprisingly Morrigan was smiling bigger at me and started talking I caught some of it but looked to Feyre.

'She said good, make him work for it.' I looked over at her and smiled as she raised her glass to me and took another drink. That one simple gesture released a world worth of tension from my shoulders.

I assumed the boys were talking about the same subject as the ladies all looked over to them as Cassian and Rhys threw their heads back with laughter I could only guess filled the room. I glanced at Azriel who looked so relaxed, so genuinely happy it made my heart swell. I had heard he was the dark and silent type but here, here he was laughing smiling and the shadows that usually danced around him seemed more playful somehow.

As the night went on we drank and laughed and even though I couldn't hear any of it I never felt excluded or like an outsider. Eventually Nesta left, elaine fell asleep and Feyre and Morrigan were chatting quietly. Cassian left with Nesta so Rhys and Azriel over to join us on the couches, it felt nice to have Azriel sit next to me and put his arm around me pulling me close. I rested my head on his shoulder and I think I dozed off until Azriel shifted next to me. Elain and Feyre were getting up i was assuming to go home, I stood and stretched and so did Azriel.

'ill be right back I need to grab something I left behind the other day.' He squeezed my shoulder gently and strode out of the room. I stepped out onto the balcony and into the cool night breeze. I felt someone approach from behind me.

'I can see you make him happy' Came Rhysands smooth cool voice in my head. I turned to see him approaching as he stood next to me resting his elbows on the balcony. 'I can relate to you ya know, my mother was Illyerian and my father high fae.' He smiled at me. 'my court of dreamers- my family mean everything to me, I hope you can find your place here and be happy.'

'I hope I can to, I am having troubles fitting in. my past is so blurred and strained, its hard finding my place among other people.'

'yes your past id very blurred.' He looked me over and gave me a serious look. My blood ran cold as I thought about those hidden memories even I couldn't unlock. The memories of another life in another world far away. 'You have almost no mental shields its as if you are inviting me into your mind for a stroll. Except a small black spot that I can not pierce no matter how hard I try.'

So he was trying, he knew. Knew I was hiding something, knew there was a part of me that was being locked away. I wasn't even sure if that part of me really existed or not.

'I will assume that what is hiding there is not a threat to me my family or my court. But do not think mo mater what you are to Azriel I wont do what I need to protect everything I hold dear.' I could feel his mental claws gipping just a little tighter on my mind. I panicked a little and took a step back.

"I would never, I swear. I don't even know whats in there."

I jumped as large hand pressed to the small of my back then I realized it was Azriel by his sent and relaxed a bit, feeling calmer and appreciating his intervention. I leaned into his hand pressing myself closer to him and further from Rhysand. I could feel a deep rumble though his body and I felt him grip he back of my gown pushing me behind him. I tripped over my hem as I stepped backwards.

And then Feyre was there grabbing my elbow and Cassian flew down between them putting his hand on Azriels shoulder.

'the mating bond is chafing even though you haven't accepted yet. He cant help it don't hold it against him I know Rhys wont.'

I let out a sigh of relief as I squared my shoulders and grabbed Azriels arm turning him towards me. I smiled and nodded at Cassian and he gave me a cocky knowing smile back before he bumped the back of his fist on Rhysands.

"I am okay, he asked me reasonable questions. He is trying to keep you all safe and his court safe. He scared me but I don't thing he meant to." I said aloud glancing to Rhys as I finished and he dipped his chin to me.

"My apologies." Rhys said clearly enough for me to follow his lips but I am assuming that was more for Azriels sake than mine.

'Lets go home.' Was all Azriel said down the bond before he scooped me up and he shot into the air, my breath caught in my chest as we free fell for a bit before his wings caught a current and we flew easily down to the city below. As we landed I could tell Azriel was still worked up, he set me down and headed toward the door into the house but I caught his arm and making him look at me.

'What?'

'I don't know. Im just worked up. Just- just feeling your fear down the bond. Ive never been afraid of Rhys never. But feeling your fear, knowing my brother was the cause of it.' He held my face in hands brushing his thumbs over my cheeks, the warmth of his hands warming my face. 'I just lost all sense of self, I couldn't stop myself I just had to be there. I had to be by you.' I gave him a soft smile and I placed my hands over his.

'I am okay, it wasn't any big deal I was just surprised.'

'but it is a big deal, ive never thought about how dangerous he really can be util he is prodding through my mates mind.'

'he wasn't even prodding apparently I have left my mental shields wide open. I swear it just surprise me I did not expect to feel him like that. I really want to start training, I want to be useful and to stop feeling like such a burden.' And I meant that, I really feel like a burden to them. They hardly know me, Rhysand has every right to feel wary about me being here.

'Im sorry, im sorry I reacted that way, im sorry Rhys is overprotective. And we will get you into training as soon as you get the all clear from the healers. As soon as they say you are strong enough, we can hook your wagon to Cassians until he whips you into a full on Illyerian warrior.' I laughed lightly at that last part as he brushed a piece of hair that had fallen into my face. I gazed into his hazel eyes and as the snow fell around us, I could feel that shadowy thread pulling us together when he leaned down and kissed me.

Soft at first then deeper more hungry, he laced his fingers through my hair deepening the kiss our breath mixing in the frozen air. I clawed at his back trying to get as close to him as I could, feeling the muscles under his leathers wishing it was his skin I was feeling.

He pulled away and pressed his forehead to mine breathing heavily, he put his hands on my hips and pulled me with him as he backed towards the door that would lead to the house. Stealing kisses every couple steps until his back hit the door. I reached behind him to get the doorknob running my hand down his body stopping just above his pants before I reached for it.

please R&R! next chapter will be my first ever attempt at writing smut! let me know what you think reviews keep me going!