Author Notes - I wonder how many people reading this may end up thinking I'm an incel or something? Even though I'm a woman who doesn't care that much about being in a romantic relationship.

CHAPTER THREE - A PLANET OF RED FLAGS

Lincoln, across the days of dating this girl, began to notice trends. Whenever he told her he had something planned with 'the guys', Bella would show up right then to go on an impromptu date if she had the free time. Yet, the one time he asked the same of her - much more gently to boot - she whined about 'how bad of a boyfriend' he was for 'demanding she change her plans for him'. Lincoln had certainly noticed the hypocrisy, but didn't say a word.

And, at least once a day, the bullying continued. More laces getting tied. More lockers getting booby-trapped. More sandwiches getting shoved into his pants. And, every time, Bella would deny it while the other kids laughed at him. And, every time he relayed one of these stories to his sisters, the response was always the same. How romantic! Aw, she must really love you! She's gonna kiss you any day now!

'Who else would've put those pee-soaked clothes in my locker?!' He would demand.

Then, she would shrug and say something like, 'I don't know! I was in science class most of the morning. The only one who could've done it is you.'

'Me?! Why would I leave sticky wet clothes in my own locker, or anywhere else?'

'Aw, Linky. It's okay. A lot of people can't control their own bowels!'

Each time it happened, Lincoln began to doubt himself more and more. Evidence pointed towards her being the culprit, each and every time, but she would always deny it without a sweat.

Am I going mad?! I never see her doing it, but I would remember if I did it… right?

Two weeks from the day he started dating his own bully, he looked all around the cafeteria for her as he was lining up to get his food. When she wasn't in his sight, he couldn't be certain what she was up to. He glanced down at his shoes.

Laces are not tied. I'm sure. They don't look tied.

After what felt like forever, he finally received his lunch - a simple slice of pizza - and looked around for his friend group. It didn't take him long for him to see the guys sitting at their usual table. Three red-headed guys sitting together were never hard to spot. Breathing a sigh of relief, he made his way over while making sure to watch his step. He also kept a close eye on that pizza slice, in case it had hot sauce sprinkled on it.

'Y'all wanna trade this sandwich for yours?' Liam asked Rusty. 'Ah hope ya realise that this sandwich is made usin' only tha freshest ingredients from ma farm. A sandwich like this is worth more than all the lunches here put together!'

'Yeah…' Rusty said, a little awkwardly. 'But… this is really good peanut butter.'

'No deal, Rusty!'

'Oh… hey Clyde, do you want-?'

'Sorry, but I can't eat peanut butter.'

'Ah. Right. … Can I still have a brownie though? Your dads are killer chefs!'

While Clyde handed a brownie each to his friends, Lincoln arrived at the table and took his seat in only one of the only free spaces left.

'Hi guys!' He said, waving. 'So, what's available on the trading market?'

The guys did not respond, and merely looked at him in silence. Lincoln's smile dropped when he realised he wasn't being talked to.

'Uh, guys? What's wrong?' Lincoln asked. 'We gotta tell each other these things.'

'Oh, you know what you did.' Rusty replied, crossing his arms, before Zach gave him a good knock upside the head. 'Ow! Hey, what was that for?'

'That doesn't help.' Zach deadpanned, before he actually answered Lincoln's question. 'Are you actually going to spend time with us, or do you have another date with your girlfriend?'

Lincoln's eyes widened. 'OH, it's about that! Look, it's only because we've just gotten together. Once we settle down a little bit more, I promise I will make more time for you guys. I don't wanna miss out on guy time either, but Bella-'

'YOO-HOO, LINKY!'

The white-haired boy cringed. By this point, her voice made his body wince up to the point where his knees almost pierced his chest. Cranking his head around slowly like it needed oil, he could see her on the other side of the cafeteria waving at him.

Seeing my own girlfriend should not fill me up with this much dread. I know that much.

'Hi, Bella!' He greeted, laughing nervously. 'H-How are you going?'

When she made her way over to him, she gasped. 'Linky? You're… you're spending time with other people?'

Lincoln groaned. 'Bella, I have spent all of my freetime with you. I'm sure you can handle me taking a single lunchtime off so I can finally play with the guys.'

He dreaded her response, but certainly did not expect what happened next. Without dropping that annoying smile, she grabbed him by the collar and dragged him away. He didn't even have the time to grab his pizza slice as she dragged him all the way out of the room.

'S-See ya, guys!' Lincoln yelled, waving as fast as he could. 'I-I promise that next time, we'll have more time to talk! I SWEAR!'

In just a few seconds, the guys were left by themselves minus their white-haired 'man-with-the-plan'. They stared at the doors for a bit, before sharing concerned glances among themselves.

'Well,' Zach said with a sigh. 'There's another 'guy time' thrown out the window.'

'I don't think it's really Lincoln's fault he isn't spending any time with us.' Clyde said. 'I mean, did you see that girl? She makes my stomach feel icky.''

Zach gave him a look. 'Clyde, everything makes your stomach feel icky.'

'Nah, he's got a point, fellas.' Liam said. 'That there girl seems ornerier than an angry bull at a stop sign. Ah don't think Ah like 'er.'

'Well, Lincoln's got a girl now.' Rusty said. 'Which surprises me, since I was sure I would be the first. But whatever. I don't think it's a good idea to try anything, especially without our man-with-the-plan to back us up.'

'Yeah,' Clyde agreed. 'I don't think us intervening in people's relationships is going to end well for anyone. Especially not us.'

Lincoln had no idea where Bella could've possibly been taking him, so he simply let her do all the work without fighting back even a little. Granted, as soon as she started taking him somewhere dangerous or illegal, he was certainly not going to put up with it then. So it was relieving (though only a little) when she merely took him to the very edge of school grounds. He opened his mouth to ask what she was doing, only for her to throw him back-first against the fence.

'AH!' He yelped. 'What did you do that for?!'

Bella sighed. 'I can't believe you! We've been dating for two weeks, and you're still wasting valuable dating time with your stupid guy friends?'

'Hey, say whatever you want about me, but you can't-'

'Well, in that case, you're an annoying dickhead who refuses to be invested in our relationships!'

He rolled his eyes. 'Hey, there's teasing among couples and friends, and then there's that. What is your deal, Bella?'

She remained silent for a short spell, though he could see her clenched fist twitching just a little. He raised up his own hands in defence, though he wasn't sure what he would do if she actually did attack him.

'I thought becoming your boyfriend would make you happy.' He said. 'That's why you were bullying me, wasn't it? That's what my sisters told me, and they seemed to know what they were talking about. Kinda. So why are you being such a jerk?'

She scoffed, as if the answer were obvious. 'Linky, you're my boyfriend. That means you have to do everything I tell you to. It's the gentleman thing to do.'

He rolled his eyes yet again; any more and they would probably roll to the back of his head forever.

'Yeah, I don't think that's right.' He said. 'It isn't called 'give-and-take' because I do all the giving while you do all the taking. I have friends to hang out with. If I didn't, they wouldn't really be my friends, now would they? I-'

She grabbed him by the collar and pulled him in, like the grappling-hook-wielding character from his fighting video games. The way she glared down at him reminded him of a horrifying Disney villain, and with her face so close to his all he could was gulp.

'I call the shots in this relationship, Linky.' She said. 'Now, you better do as I say or there will be hell to pay.'

'O-Or what?' He asked, almost afraid to do so.

'You do a lot of silly things, don't you? Put garbage in your own locker, tie your own shoelaces together, dumb stuff like that. Wouldn't it be a shame if they all got online?'

He chuckled. 'Too late. I've already had to post some pretty embarrassing stuff online. Funny story, actually. See, I filmed my sisters doing embarrassing things, so I could-'

She tossed him to the ground, not hard enough to hurt but certainly enough to give him a little bit of whiplash. He rubbed his dizzy head a little, and trembled just slightly under the glare of his girlfriend.

'Don't make me up the ante here, Linky.' She said. 'Cos I can if I want to.'

'There's a lot of punishment I can take.' He said. 'You don't grow up in a family like mine and not get used to it.'

She grinned. 'Well, in that case, I might just tell everyone that you hit me.'

'WHAT?!'

Lincoln jumped to his feet and backed away slowly, keeping his hands behind his back at all times in case she tried to pull something. He looked around - no witnesses.

'Why would you tell people that?' He asked. 'Isn't that… slander or something?'

She nodded. 'It's really funny, actually. No one would ever believe you if you said I hit you. And even if they did, they'd probably just laugh. But if I said you hit me, well, that won't be fun for you, will it?'

Lincoln remained silent for quite a bit. He debated with himself over what the best course of action would be, normally a relatively easy task for someone such as him.

So, I either bend over backwards for her - frankly insane - demands, or have her essentially slander me across the school. … Yeah, now that I think about it, it's a no-brainer.

He sighed. 'Alright. I'll make more time for you. Just… l-lemme make sure it's clear that I really don't want to abandon my friends.'

She groaned. 'Okay, fine! Whatever silly little reason you need. But it better not happen again!'

'It won't. I promise.'

In an instant, that angry expression disappeared and she looked just like Lana when the rain created a really big muddy puddle.

'Thank you, Linky!' She said, grinning wildly. 'Oh, this relationship is going to be even awesomer now that you understand how I feel!'

And she skipped away, as if she hadn't just threatened him with blackmail and slander. It left him even more confused than he was before, debating with himself over whether or not anything he was witnessing was even happening.

Why is she so nice one minute and horrible the next? And she's only ever nice in front of other people too. Then she bullies me… is she even the one doing it to begin with? She keeps insisting it's me, but I…

The bell rang, and immediately he realised that he was horribly late for class.

'AHHH!'

He ran as fast as he could, already feeling the burn after only a few seconds. His relationship with Bella only seemed to get stranger and even worse with each passing day, but he had no idea what he could do about it.

'They're girls, Lincoln.' Clyde had said. 'They know more about these things than we do. It's a scientific fact.'

The more he thought about it, the more he was beginning to doubt this claim. But if girls truly did know more about relationships than he ever could, then that meant there was only one source to figure out Bella's motives: his sisters. He could only hope they cooperated this time.

'Hey, Lori, I-'

'Whatever it is, the answer is no, and get out of my room.'

'It's about my girlfriend.'

'Wait, really?! That literally changes everything! GIRLS, LINCOLN WANTS TO TALK ABOUT HIS GIRLFRIEND!'

To help solve his problem, Lincoln decided to go to the only sister in the entire house who was currently in a relationship - Lori. She was never exactly the agreeable type, but as soon as he mentioned Bella that spun everything right round. Next thing he knew, all of his sisters were in the room and crowding around him. Apparently, this was an 'unofficial' Sibling Meeting, but without the 'gavel'. Lori plopped him down on the end of her bed - for the first time since he had that nightmare at the age of three - and the others sat around him.

'So, what's the good news?' Lori asked. 'Is she making plans to celebrate your two-week-versary?'

'If you wanna buy her a totes chic dress,' Leni said. 'I can, like, give you great advice! First, you gotta know what her style is. Does she rock leather jackets, have a preference for pretty pink dresses, or even show the world she doesn't care by committing the worst ever fashion crime… socks with sandals!'

'I know some great date places!' Lana said. 'There's this really cool mud puddle that's always big and full by the swamp.'

Lola rolled her eyes. 'Yeahhh no. What Lincoln really needs is a romantic dinner at an expensive restaurant. I know that may sound beyond our budget, but I have my ways.'

Lincoln would be lying if he said that he didn't appreciate the suggestions at all. It brought him a little joy that his sisters were this invested in his love life, and this determined to make sure it went well. Still, he wasn't certain how much they really did know about romance. Lana's mud puddle suggestion put her way out, and Lisa didn't exactly seem like the type to know anything about relationships.

'Uh, thanks?' He said, rubbing the back of his neck. 'But I don't think that's gonna help me. See, I have a bit of a problem. She-'

All the sisters gasped simultaneously. In fact, this tibet was such a shock that Lucy gasped for real. Lincoln couldn't remember the last time she did that instead of simply saying the word.

'Does she hate your jokes?' Luan asked. 'Cos - no offence, Lincoln - your jokes aren't the best. Ooh, how about one that's as sweet as it is funny? You could tell her that she's the Bell-a the ball!'

'EH, wrong!' Lynn yelled. 'Clearly what he needs is some muscles to flex. Which, uh, he hasn't really got. At all. But I can fix that easily! It'll just take a few weeks if we really work hard.'

'If the love between you and Bella is fading,' Lucy said. 'I know a spell or two that'll grant you eternal love even in the afterlife.'

'You don't need a spell for that!' Luna said. 'All you need is love… and a bloody good love song! I'll get to writing one as soon as I finish Play It Loud.'

Lincoln did wonder why they only seemed this helpful when it was romance on the line, but he wasn't complaining too much. It actually made him just a little happy that they truly did care about him. Of course, he already knew that, and never doubted it for a second, but it wasn't always so obvious.

'I-I have something I need to ask.' He said, after he was certain the girls were done. 'See, I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do. She really wants to spend time with me, but it always seems to be when I have things already planned with my friends. Should I keep going out with her, even if I have less time for my friends, or-?'

'Oh, you literally should spend all your time with her!' Lori replied, suddenly enough to make him flinch. 'If she wants to spend that much time with you, then that means she's smitten!'

'That is a correct statement, eldest sibling.' Lisa said. 'It is preferable for two people in a relationship to have high amounts of physical contact. Assuming both participants are of good health, of course.'

The other sisters all voiced their agreement, in one of the very few times it seemed they could ever come to some sort of a general consensus over anything.

Well, if this could get them to agree… maybe they're right… Though, even as he thought it, he began to doubt it.

Author Notes - Giving each Loud Sister a line in scenes like this can be surprisingly difficult, especially when the sisters you end up giving most lines of dialogue to are typically Lori, Lola, Lisa and Lynn. Lynn's the odd one out here, since she's my least favourite sister while I love this other three. Why I like writing her more than I like her, I'll never know.