Chapter 4: Pimp Valentino
Stolas was held captive by the demon pimp, who the robot worked for. Stolas was dragging levers to test out the project he was working on, which was soon to be the queen because the pimp wanted to murder the real queen of Hell, Lilith Magne. The robot was connected to the cord, so he could do tricks with the robot, such as pouring tea. While the project itself was fascinating, it broke his heart that he had to make this robot to replace the real queen.
Stolas's thoughts were interrupted by a dark form in the shadow, who was smoking a cigarette holder. The figure chuckled darkly as he admired the Goetia's handiwork. The individual was a large, slender lilac moth demon pimp with a long red coat with black and white fur lines, white fur cuffs, creamy white furry collar with red hearts, black gloves and boots, and a tall red hat with black and white feathers. He also had hot pink eyes, gold sunglasses with pink lenses to cover his eyes, and pink teeth with a golden tooth. It was none other than pimp Valentino, Hell's greatest overlord, himself! "Quite an ingenious scheme, eh Stolas?" Valentino asked and pinched the owl's cheeks like he would a child, adding, "And aren't you proud to be a part of it?" Valentino laughed inwardly as Stolas pulled himself away from the disgusting moth pimp.
Stolas gulped as he continued using the controls. "T...this whole thing is-is...i-i-it's monstrous!"
But Valentino was unfazed. He was proud of his evil plot. "We will have our device ready by tomorrow evening, won't we?" Valentino took out his bell with the handle between his fingers, which was meant for people who disobeyed his orders, meaning they could be eaten by his dragon, Hellvern. "You know what would happen if you, uh...fail." He let the bell slip, making a light chime.
The prince's blood boiled. "I...I...I don't CARE!" he raged as he violently pulled back the controls, letting it lose control. The robot dumped a pot of tea on its head and thrust it at the moth pimp, who ducked before it got him. The robot continued its spastic state and bounced until it started to die down, but let oil fly out of its arm.
The oil landed on Valentino's shoulder, much to the pimp's disgust.
"You can do what you want with me!" Stolas shouted defiantly as Valentino angrily watched him confront him, while using a pink handkerchief to clean out his stain. "I won't be a part of this-this...this evil any longer!"
Valentino, still unaffected by the blueblood's defiance, knowing what he really meant, inhaled smoke from his nose and shrugged. "Mmm...very well. If that is your decision." He chuckled and saw a wind-up toy flower that was made for the Goetia's daughter. "Oh, uh, by the way, I'm taking the liberty of having your daughter brought here." He picked up the toy and wound it, giving him a toothy grin.
"O-Octavia?" Stolas asked, horrified.
Satisfied with the prince's answer, he found the father's weak spot and giggled as he set the toy down, letting it turn into an owl and dance on the table. "Yes, I will spend many sleepless nights if...anything unfortunate would befall her." He let out a small chuckle as the music played its lullaby.
"You...you wouldn't!"
Valentino picked up the toy by the head and squeezed it, making it screech and suddenly, its head popped off. Valentino looked at it with feigned pity and gave Stolas a slight pouty look. "FINISH IT, Stolas!" he shouted.
Stolas cowered and hung his head as he slowly returned to his work in defeat.
Valentino closed the door and stepped outside the cell, humming as he wrote a list of things to bring for Fizzarolli with a quill pen. "Oh, I love it when I'm nasty!" he said with a devilish smile and sauntered over to another building that had the golden letter "V" engraved on top. Fizzarolli was a jester robot imp with a white face that had black dots near his mouth and a red nose. He also had robotic legs and arms that extended, lime eyes, pink irises, a tail with black stripes, a jester hat with bright red and blue stripes and yellow bells. Thus, he had a black collar with a white ruffle, red and yellow outfit on front with white and purple sleeves (except the back was bright blue with a white trim at the bottom), white and purple trousers, and black heeled shoes with yellow hearts. "Fizzarolli?" he cooed sweetly.
Fizzarolli continued to snore and slightly chuckled while he slept. "FIZZAROLLI!" Valentino, shouted loud enough for his henchman to wake up and stumble down the stairs to the ground.
"Bright and alert as always," Valentino said, proud to see Fizzarolli awake and laughed as he handed Fizzarolli the list. Fizzarolli looked at it in confusion as Valentino continued, "Here's the list. You know what to do and no mistakes!" Valentino pointed a warning finger at him, making the male robot back away until Valentino left his side.
Fizzarolli chuckled and started to look at the list Valentino gave him. "No, no, no mistakes! Tools, gears, girl, uniforms!"
"NOW, FIZZAROLLI!" Valentino yelled as he popped his head out of his home.
Fizzarolli jumped at his shout, making him rush over to the sewer grate, saying, "I'm going! I'm going! I'm going!" He lifted up the sewer grate and climbed down, closing it on his way down.
...
Cheering was heard from inside the studio Valentino lived in. It was Valentino's other henchmen. Inside the studio, was a white fountain with a statue of an angel Valentino, long red carpet, many jewels, rubies, and gold he stole from Lilith as well as the crown, chandeliers, a champagne bottle tied to the ceiling hovering over the fountain, and red curtains.
Valentino sat on his throne which had a golden "V" carved on top of him. He grabbed a new cigarette and a variety of hands had lit lighters for him, so he could smoke. He inhaled and exhaled the smoke, making a ring. "My friends," he announced cheerfully, "We are about to embark on the most ODIOUS...the most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career!"
The thugs he was talking to had a club in hand, alcohol drinkers, and had knives used to cut throats or assassinate people. However, he also had members who weren't demons, but Cherubs like Collin, Cletus, and Keenie. One of the demons in the gang was a heavy drinker named Vox. He had a TV face, top black hat with red lines, red bowtie, black tuxedo with green stripes as well as the vest with red around it, black pants and shoes.
"A crime to top all crimes. A crime that will live in infamy!"
Vox was about to drink alcohol to celebrate only to find a drop left as he poured it out of his mug, while everyone else cheered.
Valentino pulled out a newspaper of the queen on the front page to announce his dastardly plan. "Tomorrow evening, our beloved monarch celebrates her Diamond Jubilee. And with the enthusiastic help of our good friend, Stolas."
In agreement, the others snickered as Collin elbowed a drunken Vox.
"It promises to be a night she will never forget." Valentino burned the newspaper and his gang (minus Vox) gasped, knowing what he was hinting. He crumbled the newspaper with a laugh. "Her last night, and my first...as supreme ruler of all Pentagram City!"
As he announced this, he flung his arms in excitement and got his hair messed up while the crowd applauded and cheered at his plan. Valentino fixed his hair.
The room grew dark until a spotlight shone on Valentino and one of his gang members handed him his top hat with a grey band, letting the hat slide on his shoulders before putting it on his head. With a cane in hand, he spun around and snickered wickedly before he started to sing about his criminal successes.
From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper,
The head that made headlines in every newspaper
And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job
That cunning display that made Sinners a sob.
Valentino pointed to the jewels he'd stolen and slid down to stare at his reflection from the ruby.
Now comes the real Tour de Force
Tricky and wicked of course.
My earlier crimes were fine for their time's
But now that I'm at it again.
Valentino spun his cane around the rope, bringing down the champagne bottle, pouring the sparkling pink champagne into the fountain.
Vox grew excited at the site, so he lapped it up like a dog. Valentino twirled in his direction and kicked him.
An even grimmer plot has been simmering
In my great criminal brain.
Valentino smiled wickedly as he covered his face with a cape, prowling up to Collin and his posse. All of them elegantly took off their hats and bowed and Valentino's gang sang with him.
Even meaner? You mean it?
Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned?
Vox slowly resurfaced from the fountain, completely drunk that he hiccupped. Thus, he landed on the ground with a splat. Valentino's gang lifted Valentino up, which took more than one person to carry a heavy pimp and twirled him around.
You're the best of the worst around.
Oh, Valentino!
Oh, Valentino!
The rest fall behind!
To Valentino!
To Valentino!
The world's greatest criminal mind!
The gang parted ways as the background turned a somber blue and Valentino played his harp.
"Thank you, thank you," Valentino said as he continued playing his melody. "But it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity, thanks to that miserable second-rate businessman, Blitzo." He glared at the voo-doo doll of Blitzo with various pins all over its body. The crowd booed at the imp for they dreaded him as much as their boss had.
"For years, that insufferable asshole has interfered with my plans." Valentino feigned despair. "Hell, I haven't had a moment's peace of mind."
The crowd said "aww" at him and Vox sniffled and sobbed.
The background lighting turned from blue to scary red as Valentino returned to his sinister state. "But all that's in the past! This time nothing, not even Blitzo, can stand in my way! All will bow before me!"
The lights returned to normal as the gang did as they were told.
The crowd filled their wine glasses from the fountain with Vox back to drinking from the spout and making a splash. With that, they made a toast with Valentino to celebrate his crimes.
Oh, Valentino!
Oh, Valentino!
You're tops and that's that!
To Valentino!
To Valentino!
As Vox slowly resurfaced, he sang along with them, "To Valentino the world's greatest bitch!" With that, he hiccupped.
Valentino gasped and coughed at the word he dreaded when he was drinking his wine in tranquility. Even the gang gasped in shock. "What was THAT?" Valentino demanded as he turned around to face the henchman who called him a bitch.
Vox hiccupped.
"What did you call me?"
The thugs did their best to defend the drunken TV demon.
"Oh, oh! He didn't mean it, pimp!" A cherub with red curly hair, white skin, red apple cheeks, and blue eyes. He was wearing red overalls with gold buttons, yellow shirt, and white shoes. His name was Cletus.
"I-It was just a slip of the tongue." Collin added. He was a dark purple sheep cherub with lavender hair and freckles, purple eyes, lilac overalls with an aqua blue shirt, and dark purple hooves.
"I AM NOT A BITCH!" Valentino growled at Vox, picking him up by the collar of his sweater.
"'Course you're not." said another sheep cherub who happened to be female with yellow fur, dark yellow hair, and scarlet eyes with purple pupils. She wore a yellow dress with red lines as well as the bowtie, white gloves as well as stockings, and red hooves. "You're a demon!"
"Yeah, that's right," seconded Cletus, "Right! A demon!"
"Yeah, uh, a big demon." Collin added.
"SILENCE!" Valentino shouted and tossed Vox outside, which had no effect on the drunken TV demon.
"Oh, my dear Vox," Valentino said, pretending to be concerned and stepped outside as the thugs watched from inside. "I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me." Valentino slowly brought out his bell he'd shown Stolas. "You know what happens if someone upsets me."
The cherubs shuddered and gasped when Valentino rang his bell to call his pet dragon, Hellvern, who had brown and black scales as well as his wings, yellow eyes, and black spikes on his body.
"Oh, Valentino, oh, Valentino..." Vox sang in a drunken manner while Hellvern smiled hungrily at him and the three cherubs shrunk in terror of the dragon. "You're the tops and that's that. Hic! Oh, dear. To Valentino, to Valentino, to Valentino..."
The three of them watched helplessly as Vox was in Hellvern's clutches about to be eaten. Valentino, however, smoked his cigarette as he watched one of his henchmen being executed.
"The world's greatest…" Those were the last words Vox had sung until a gulp sounded out from Hellvern. The three gang members covered their faces in alarm, not wanting to see their friend's death. Then a low moan was heard. The gang members took off their hats in sadness and shed some tears, mourning their friend.
Valentino cleaned Hellvern's face with a handkerchief and put it back in his pocket. "Oh, Hellvern, my precious, my baby!" he cooed as he hugged his face. "Did Daddy's little honeybun enjoy his tasty treat?"
Hellvern let out a burp in his face. Valentino looked away and as he returned to the studio, he said, "I trust that there will be no further interruptions."
The cherubs helplessly reentered the studio.
Valentino cleared his throat and wrapped his arms around Collin and Cletus. "And now, as you were singing…"
The cherubs struggled to think of some lyrics, only to see Valentino bring out his bell to summon Hellvern, in case they refused. Seeing this and not wanting to receive the same fate as Vox, they gasped and figured out what to sing next.
Even louder
We'll shout it!
No one can doubt what we know you can do.
You're more evil than even you!
Valentino's posse brought out a purple robe and placed it over Valentino's shoulders and one of the gang members hurried with a crown that matched the robe. After that, Valentino knocked the thugs off their feet.
Oh, Valentino!
Oh, Valentino!
You're one of a kind!
To Valentino!
To Valentino!
Valentino snickered as praise was being brought to him. The demons formed a pyramid with jewels. Others swung on the wine bottles and chandeliers. One demon fell off a chandelier and Valentino was about to catch him with his robe, but pulled back and let him fall.
The world's greatest criminal mind!
Valentino yanked the rope, making the gang plunge into the wine fountain with a splash. Everyone started to crash, including the group who formed a pyramid with jewels. At the end, they smashed glasses with Valentino and drank wine together, while Valentino gave out an ominous grin.