I really appreciate that you are taking the time to read this, so I hope you enjoy reading this as much as I enjoy writing it.
Please leave reviews, with either positives or feedback and I will answer any questions here. Any ideas for the next chapter or recommendations for other fics are also welcome :)
For the purposes of this fic, Coulson knows about his death and May is level 8(so there are no secrets between them). I will also not be completely following the show-I might skip episodes and characters.
Disclaimer -I do not own Agents of Shield but I love it very much and have watched it multiple times.
Recap: Team bonding with a competitive game of monopoly and scrabble. Ward joins the team. May and Coulson begin planning for the prank war.
The team gather round the holo table as they review the information. They had just received an assignment to retrieve an 084 from Peru. After explaining to Skye that 084 meant object of unknown origin, May set the plane on course to Peru, and they were set to land in 3 hours.
"I'm sorry, it's just not right," Ward said to Fitz, after picking up the night-night pistol. "It's one ounce to heavy," he stated, completely seriously.
"One ounce. Seriously!" Skye added.
"It's the difference between success and failure. When you're on a roof with 15-mile-an-hour winds and the target is 500 yards away...
"Yeah, but we do have a rifle," Fitz said, gesturing toward the larger gun propped against a wall.
"Loose the ounce." he said as he walked out.
"I can't believe he's serious." Skye whispered to ward.
"right. Because it was alright for Coulson. And Bobbi. And May. Even Hunter said it was Good!" he said under his breath.
"Loose the ounce," said Fitz, in a hilariously accurate Ward impression.
"I'm agent Grant Ward and I can shoot the legs off the fly from 500 yards, as long as it's not windy." He said in the same accent.
Skye's giggles were out of control, as Simmons walked in.
"Let me guess. Ward and the night-night pistol again?"
"One ounce. One ounce!" Fitz replied with frustration.
"I'm agent Grant Ward and I can rupture your spleen with my left pinky...blindfolded!"
May was laughing from the cockpit of the plane. Ward was just being ridiculous and trying to seem clever by pretending he could tell if it was an ounce off. She figured it could be a good lesson for Ward, so she headed down to the lab and swiped the night-night from the table, without the laughing agents noticing.
"Too heavy was it, Ward?" she said, aiming the gun at the other Agent.
"On ounce."
"Don't even pretend you know what one ounce feels like. It makes you sound like a spoilt teenager."
"Shoot me from the end of the corridor, and you will see that it is too heavy. I bet you $50 that you will miss." Ward challenged.
"I wasn't planning on using it, but I can't refuse the challenge. Stupid bed though," May told him before picking up the night-night pistol and shooting him in the head. Her aim was spot on.
"Not too heavy." she told the limp body of Ward, as she pulled him over her shoulder and carried him down to the lab.
When she reached the lab, she dumped both the unconscious agent and the night-night pistol on the bench.
"When he wakes up, tell him that he owes me $50 and that it is not too heavy." she told the gawking agents, as she left.
"Did May just shoot Ward?" Skye asked, with her mouth hanging half open.
"I don't think May likes him very much." Fitz agreed.
"At least we don't have to worry about the ounce. May appears to think the same about his demandingness as we do.
"It was the night-night pistol." May called through the door, before heading up to Coulson's office.
"You know, if you want to find out what is going on, you should come down yourself and not just watch from that tablet," May commented as she snuck up behind Coulson, silently.
"I still haven't got used to the way you can do that," After noticeably jumping at May's sudden appearance. "
"Did you really just shoot him? I mean, I know you seem to hate him and all, but was it really necessary to shoot him, Melinda?" he questioned, starting a debate he knew he would lose.
"He bet I couldn't do it, Phil," she said petulantly.
"That's childish and you know it" he replied teasingly.
"He was being an idiot and he needed put in his place," she said stubbornly. "Plus, don't pretend you didn't enjoy watching me knock him flat on his face," she added with a slight smile.
"You could shoot the whole plane and I wouldn't be mad. And you know it."
"Don't think I wont test that Phil Coulson."
"I'm counting on it."
"Then let the prank war begin," she said, with her beautiful, contagious, but rare smile.
She lightly brushed her lips against his, before leaving to set up the first prank. At the same time, without him realizing, she swiped the tablet, so he would not be able to watch her set up, as he was terrible at keeping secrets and would probably accidentally spill.
After she had finished setting up the first prank, she left to land the Bus, as they had arrived at the Peruvian temple.
"The last 084 I investigated was hammer," Coulson dropped casually, without realizing how many questions it would lead to.
"Wait. As in Thor's hammer. No way!" Skye said excitedly. "Do you know Thor!" she said with realization.
May watched the younger agent fangirl about Thor as Coulson told Skye all about his encounter with the God of Thunder. After five minutes had gone by, and the two agents were still engrossed in an animated Thor related conversation, she tapped Coulson on the shoulder and reminded him that they had to go on a mission.
"Spoil sport," Skye told her.
"When we get back, I'm sure he'll be happy to tell you more about when we worked with the Avengers, but right now we have a mission."
"You both worked with the Avengers!?" Skye almost shouted in excitement.
"Next time we have a day off, remind me and we can pay a visit to Stark Tower."
"Ill hold you to that, May," Skye said sternly.
"Umm, Melinda? Last time I checked, the Avengers thought I was dead."
"Well, we'll have to go without you then," she teased.
"I never said…"
"Stop getting distracted. Time to go."
"Hypocrite," he grumbled. "I'm driving, Mel. Don't you dare! You did not just do that!"
"Get in the passenger seat."
"I said I was driving."
"Last time you drove we crashed."
"That was 4 years ago, Mel. You haven't let me drive in 4 years. Why are you being so childish today?"
"I don't plan on letting you drive again for another 4 years to come. If you want to drive, you have to learn to get in the car first."
"That is not fair. You practically teleport into the front seat.
"You said I was being childish!" she exclaimed. "Get in the car, you're making a scene in front of the team."
Grumbling, Coulson got into the passenger seat next to May and Skye and Ward got in the back. The other 4 piled into the second car, with Bobbi driving and they set off.
"You could have just driven the other car, you know."
"The other car doesn't have sweeties In the glove compartment."
"Nor will this one if you keep eating them at that rate. You could have put sweeties in the other car."
"You know you are the only one who can access nice sweeties on this plane!"
"You have sweeties!" Skye said, her eyes widening.
"I'm going to have none left!" Melinda complained.
"Mel. Share."
May, looking annoyed, proceeded to throw a packet of toffees in their direction, before helping herself to a sherbet lemon.
"Is he awake yet?" she said to Skye, pointing to Ward.
"Waking up now."
"You shot me!" Ward groaned through an awful headache.
"You owe me 50." May told him, with a small smirk.
Once they arrived at the temple, Skye and Fitzsimmons went inside, while May, Coulson and a drowsy Ward stood guard.
"You really shouldn't get yourself shot just before a mission."
"With all due respect sir, she shot me."
"You're never going to get her blamed for anything, Ward. Stop trying now. It will save you a lot of future trouble. Just ask Clint. Or Nat, or John, Or Vic, even Maria. They have all failed.
"You forgot to add yourself and Stark to the list," May added, with a slightly amused expression.
"She is both Fury and Carter's favorite. Just try not to annoy her Enough the require superior intervention. I speak from experience when I say that It doesn't end well."
"I presume you mean when you ended up on puppy-walking duty."
"I had to supervise Clint for a week!"
"Clint's not that bad!"
"That's just because he helped you prank me!"
"Shut up. You love me."
Their conversation came to an abrupt end, when military vehicles pulled up outside the temple.
"Get the 084. We need to leave. May said through comms, before turning to face the guns.
"Camilla! Good to see you. What are you doing here?"
"I could say the same about you. Good to see you Phil.
"Reyes." May said icily.
"May" Camilla replied in an equally hostile tone.
Coulson stepped between the two Women, hoping to ensure that they didn't try to kill each other.
"Stand down," Reyes said to her men.
As they lowered their guns, bullets started to fire towards them, and grenades were thrown at Reyes's unit's trucks. Get down, May shouted through the comms, as she pulled out a staff-like item, that sent out an electrical pulse, knocking down the rebels who were shooting at them.
"Get in," Coulson said to Reyes and her remaining soldiers, After Skye and Fitzsimmons had got back with the 084 and Bobbi and Hunter had returned from scouting the perimeter, letting them know a bit late that there were hostiles surrounding them.
"How fast can you get us in the air," Coulson asked, as they drove onto the plane.
"Fast."
May returned From the cockpit, to find Coulson sitting uncomfortably at the bar, while Camilla Reyes flirted with him. She walked up to her and slapped her across the face. Maybe a bit harder than she meant to, she realized when she saw blood trickle down her nose and her head hit hard into the glass of the table, but it did the trick. Melinda dragged Camilla into a supply closet and then took her place at the bar next to Phil.
"You don't like her much, do you Mel?
"Nope," she said as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
"Are we going to discuss the fact that you just knocked out an ally and then locked her in a supply closet?"
"I did?" she replied innocently, looking up at him.
"I might have believed that did I not see you don't with my own eyes."
"I need to go set course for the sandbox," she told him.
As she walked towards the door, he caught her hand and pulled her I to a kiss.
"Any specific reason that you had to do that when I'm supposed to be working?" she asked him, a hint of a smile playing on her lips.
"Does a man need an excuse to kiss his fiancée?"
"Well now the cats out of the bag."
Phil looked at her, confused for a second before realizing that Bobbi and Hunter had just entered the room and were gawking at them.
"I think that's everyone except Fitz now."
"And Ward."
"Ward doesn't count."
"You really hate him, Mel."
"Someone should tell Fitz, but I wouldn't mind leaving Ward in the dark for a while."
"Yoh should go."
"You're probably right," she said before heading to the cockpit.
"Congratulations Coulson," Hunter gold him after May had left
"About time," Bobbi added.
"What do you mean?" Coulson asked curiously.
"He doesn't know?"
"Know what?"
"The whole of shield has been shipping you guys together for the last 20 years!"
"And there I was thinking it was just Maria, Nick, Nat and the level 8's."
"How long have you been engaged?" Bobbi asked curiously.
"Since the night I was shot."
As he finished his sentence, the room filled with gas and the room went out of focus as he fell to the carpet.
Sorry about that ending. I will try to update in about a week :) Please review! It really helps motivate me to write and makes me so happy! Thankyou for your support, like how has this had over 1000 views. It is insane. When I wrote the prologue, I was originally planning for it to be a one-shot and have like one view and I can't believe how supportive you've been. Thankyou so much for reading.