Author's note: Hey, I apologize for the shite quality of the first chapter, I was half asleep and I needed to get all the exposition out of the way. This unholy combination made for a horribly composed chapter that was written in a few hours.

So if you were willing to read past the first chapter and into the second one, it either means you were so interested in my idea that you were willing to ignore the shitty grammar, or you're so bored you just want something to read.

I just want you to know that my chapter quality is a lot better so please give it another chance. Anyways, enough talking and back into the chapter! Ajax out.

One Week Later

It's been one week since that hateful woman visited him. One week since the four of them were stuck together, connected solely by the string of fate that was the Joestars. It was stupid, teaming up with three other imbeciles so damn infuriating just because you got your ass handed to you by a kid with a weird birthmark…

Well, it wasn't all bad: Dio quite liked the 'Teevee' in the living room, and the 'eyefones' were a lovely distraction while he familiarized(pretend to ignore while secretly spying on) himself with his new roommates.

For all their stupidity and silliness, humans can come up with the most hilarious things once in a while…

"Dio-san! Lunch is ready!" A young, innocent voice hollered at him while he brooded on his bed.

Ah yes, speaking of stupid humans...

Dio sighed and looked up at the speaker: It was a teenage boy, around sixteen or seventeen, basically barely weaned off his mother's teat. He was lean, maybe one-seventy centimetres in height and sported a curiously done hairstyle.

He was Doppio, the 'baby brother' of the 'family' if he remembered roommate dynamics correctly. Always looking up to everyone, was way too trusting and required constant supervision from his friends...

"Dio-san?" The boy's call shook him out of his thoughts, and Dio nodded at him in response.

"I'll be there in five minutes; you and the others may eat first," He said curtly, still swiping through his eyefone. Oh! These cats are so stupid~ getting scared by a mere cucumber!

Doppio nodded and left the vampire, closing the door on the way out…

He stayed for a while, browsing twitter and youtube until he inevitably got bored. Dio sighed, putting his fone down to think about the other members of this dysfunctional 'family' of his:

Like stated earlier, Doppio was the younger brother for the reasons given above.

Then came Kira, he was like the otaku… if otakus were obsessed with dismembered hands instead of anime tits. He had once looked through the man's search history in secret, and all he found were searches of hands(Dio shuddered to think of what he does with those images in the privacy of his room)

Next was him: Dio, the vampire! ...Yet not since he was technically just a soul.

He was… the least insane? Which was saying something for the other guys, as religion aside, he was crazy enough to try becoming a god by achieving 'heaven'(but seeing as Pucci did succeed, maybe he wasn't so insane after all...). Because of this 'not insane' status, he often acted as the mediator, breaking up the frequent fights between Kira and Kars on the topic of the former's 'hobby'.

Speaking of Kars, he would be the tsundere. Though you'd be getting donuted and burned instead of receiving a verbal jab. He saw everyone as below him, and was especially disgusted with Kira.

"Huff… no use griping to myself about it," He tsked in irritation, "Anyways, let's get this dinner thing finished up… tomorrow's a big day, after all,"

He got up and headed down, putting his fone into his yellow jean pockets. He had traded his old outfit for this one, and although he hated to admit it, they felt far more comfortable than whatever he wore back in Cairo(But he kept the tight-fitting bodysuit; it felt very nice)…

To his complete and utter unsurprise, Kira and Kars were at each other's throats again(all the while Doppio sat there internally panicking).

"—Wastes of space like you should just die, disgusting hand-loving mongrel!"

"You don't get it, you'll never understand!"

"And I don't want to! Ever! It sickens me—"

And they still had food in their mouths! Do their mothers never teach them proper table manners? Kill after eating your dessert! Jesus, these big babies will be the death of him…

Deciding to finally step in, Dio made his presence known and sat down, silencing the other two into sitting down alongside him.

"Good," He seemed satisfied with their swiftness, "Eat first; we'll go about our day like civil men,"

The duo made no noise and just ate, both looked sullen that they couldn't insult the other anymore, but were otherwise compliant.

"Doppio, how was your day?" He sounded like a concerned mother, and maybe in the past he would think it was beneath him to do such a thing. Sadly, present him had shed away shame the moment he sat down on this chair for the first time.

"W-Well, I was talking with bossu, and—" His eyes suddenly turned cold as he stared at Kars, "The next thing you're about to say is, 'Ugh. shut up about your imaginary friend,' toyu!"

"Ugh, shut up about your imaginary— Kuoh?!" Kars choked on his spaghetti, earning him an annoyed stare from Dio. He didn't care, still eyeing the boy like he'd just found his worst enemy.

"The will of Joseph lives on!" He wailed, a single tear forming in his eye, "...And I can't even kill him..."

Dio chuckled benignly, well, as benignly as his intimidating voice would allow, "Oh! That's very interesting, and where did you learn this skill?"

Doppio grinned, "I got it from bossu!" before pointing at his forehead.

'I see… so this 'bossu' is probably a second persona, huh… interesting,' Dio pondered inwardly to himself, but the smile never left his face.

Done with Doppio, he gazed at Kira, "And what did you do today, Kira?"

"I exercised in the gym and began taking a cooking course online," He pointed at their food.

Dio's eyes widened in surprise, "That's awesome! I can't wait for you to show us your magnificent cooking prowess again!"

Kira blushed from his praises and silently muttered a few thank yous before focusing on his food.

He didn't bother with Kars, he'd never give them the time of day anyways...

The dinner was relatively quiet after that, with only the sounds of tableware occasionally hitting plates to accompany the sounds of chewing.

Unbeknownst to them, after the four retreated into their rooms, the normally locked door in their living room suddenly opened a creak, and what came out was—

"—Me!"

Dio blinked sleepily as he and the other three stared at the floating ball with giant question marks on their heads.

It looked similar to a balloon, but the extra parts of metal decorating it made him think twice. No balloon would be able to hold up such heavy constructs.

"Uhh… What are you?" Kira sipped at his morning cup of coffee as he spoke.

"I am the System for Travelling in an Even number of Worlds! Or Stew!" It cheerfully exclaimed, floating around like a very cute jellyfish.

"I see… and Stew, I assume you're the one transporting us to different worlds?"

"And the one giving you missions!" It added, "I've been created by Miss Justice to grade your actions and reward you depending on them!"

After explaining a few more unimportant details, Stew was finally ready to start their first world.

"Before we go, allow me to explain the background of the world you're travelling to," It cleared it's (non-existent) throat before continuing,

"The world you will be travelling to will be fraught with dangers: men who can use the power of different elements, fighters who can put you in an illusion in the blink of an eye, and giant beasts with the power to destroy mountains. These people have all formed five great villages who regularly go to war with one another. You will be travelling to the most powerful of the five: the village hidden in the leaves!"

"Hoho? I want to see what these powerful men can do!" Kars chortled with a glint in his eyes, "I can't wait to assimilate them to create an even more perfect being!"

"I see… and what is our mission?" Dio couldn't help but feel his blood boil as well, just hearing of their feats made him battle-hungry!

Using it's noodle-like appendage to imitate clapping, it said, "Your job is to be a good father figure to this boy!" It showed them a picture of a boy, his most defining feature the ugly orange jumpsuit and his unruly blonde locks...

…

…

"WHAAAAAAAAAT?!"

Everyone sputtered in shock.

"B-But—"

"I thought!"

"We were going to—"

"Save the world!"

They thought the robot was only joking with them, however, what it said next threw that assumption down the drain:

"Yes, you're going to save his world," It stated in complete seriousness, "You see: through no fault of his own, he's been ostracised his whole childhood; what we want you to do is stay with him and be there for him for three months!"

""""Can we switch?""""

"Nope!"

''''Typical...''''

"Aw! It's not that bad!"

Dio looked at it like it was an idiot, "We have the power to destroy the world if we wanted. Our stands were made to kill, and you want us to take care of a child?"

It laughed nervously, "Well, you'll figure it out somehow! Seeya!"

He suddenly felt a strange twisting feeling over his entire body, like his very being was getting atomized and changed on a fundamental level before getting rebuilt from the ground up. It was akin to having your body squeezed and then stretched, pushed through a bath of ice-cold water and then red-hot lava.

It was… weird to say the least.

And then, his shoes felt solid ground once again.

Opening his eyes, he was met with a giant forest surrounding their small patch of clear green. Next to him were his roommates, who were still reeling from the teleportation.

"Bleurgh… I feel like shit," Kira held his stomach as his face greened from nauseousness; Doppio was largely the same, while Kars was nowhere to be found.

'Where the fuck is—'

"I am Kars! Let me assimilate you, weakling!"

'Took the words right outta my mouth,' Dio dashed towards his roommates' roars.

"You two, catch up to me after you've recovered!"

"Okay Dio-san!"

"Understood,"

Hearing their affirmatives, he no longer spared them any thought, putting it all into locating the man child that was Kars.

Jumping through the trees, he soon found the giant man in the middle of… disrobing a child?!

'Ah! You stupid pedophile!' Dio was shocked! Did this asshole want to go to hell?!

"I shall have you inside me!"

-Plap!-

"No, you shall not!" The World bitch-slapped him so hard he flew off in circles, eventually landing on the ground with a satisfying thud.

Dio sighed, disabled The World, and turned to stare at the kid who was half-naked.

He had tears running down his face, arms holding his head as his body curled up into a ball, likely an attempt to protect himself from Kars.

"Y'alright, kid?" He kneeled down to pick up the boy's clothes: namely a blue scarf and a sand-tinted shirt with a leaf insignia drawn squarely in the middle.

"U-Uwuuhhh..." He didn't answer, still too scared to say anything.

Dio cursed at Kars under his breath, placed his clothes next to him and just sat there, his face turned away from the boy.

"..." He sniffled, looking at the broad back of the blond man and then at his clothes. Cautiously, he picked them up and wore them.

"U-Um… M-Mister?" His young, high-pitched voice caught the attention of the Muscular man.

"Hm?"

"W-Who are you?"

Dio gave him a lopsided smile and answered:

"I… am Dio,"