"What?" Cora asked breathlessly.
"It's Edith," Robert confirmed again.
Cora's momentary hesitation ended abruptly and she moved into action, throwing her robe on. Every possible scenario the mother could conjure was at the forefront of her mind screaming something was wrong with her child. Something had to be wrong. Her daughter's actions were not predictable by any means, but this was out of the ordinary, even for Edith.
Her pace slowed as she reached the bottom of the stairs and she took a deep breath trying to calm her rapid heartbeat. "Thank you, Carson," she managed though it came out much weaker than she had intended.
"Of course your ladyship," he nodded and exited stoically.
She hesitated as he walked away, simply holding the device as if she did not know its proper function. Anybody watching would most likely have found her a spectacle. Raising it to her ear she finally spoke, "Edith?" The silence lingered for a moment and she heard nothing more than a faint static. "Edith?" She uttered a little more frantic this time.
"Mama?" Her daughter's voice spoke from the other side.
Cora shuddered at the sound. She sounded so frightened it made her heart wrench. "I'm here," she assured. "Please tell me you are alright."
"Alright is a relative term," she chuckled but Cora heard the sad sarcasm behind it.
"Edith-"
"You must be so angry with me Mama," she spoke despondently.
"Edith I'm not angry," she began softly. "I'm worried...but angry, no. When your daughter disappears and doesn't tell you why anger is frivolous."
"I- I didn't know what to do Mama," Edith replied hoarsely.
"Mrs. Drewe came by today..." Cora breathed as she looked down.
The way her mother had said the phrase alone was enough for Edith to know that she knew. "I-" Edith stuttered not knowing what to say. "What did she want?"
"She felt she had been used rather poorly...I confess it was a feeling we shared," she choked out.
"I couldn't give her up Mama," Edith replied fervently.
"I know," Cora replied as she closed her eyes. "Just tell me you are safe. That you're both safe." She hated the thought of Edith alone with her daughter for the time, away from her family, away from her home, with nothing familiar to steady her.
Silence again
"I'm frightened Mama...terribly, terribly frightened," she finally answered, releasing a breath she hadn't even realized she had been holding. "I feel so alone in all this."
Cora's stomach twisted tightly at her daughter's words and she grabbed ahold of the table for support. "Oh Edith, please come home," she begged as tears began marking her cheeks.
"I- I can't do that Mama," she mumbled, stifling her sob. "I wouldn't be able to do that."
The doubt was evident in her daughter's voice and Cora took a deep breath searching for the right words. The words that would lead Edith closer, closer to home, and close to her.
"With how poorly R-" she hesitated finding it unwise, to voice her anger towards Rosamund and Violet. Swallowing, she began again. "With how poorly those around you have handled this situation, my darling, I could easily see why you would not want to trust me right now...your-your daughter," she stumbled as she spoke the phrase, finding it surreal she was even saying such a thing. In her mind, at the start of the day, Edith had simply been her daughter and now she was a mother. With a little girl of her own to think about. "-Was wrongfully kept from you and you have every right to feel the need to keep her as far away from here as possible, you are her mother and you want to protect her-"
"Oh I do mama," Edith interjected while she muffled her sobs. "I really do."
"Then let me protect mine," Cora replied softly, hoping Edith would understand. She would've given anything at that moment to travel through the telephone and reassure her child. Hold her like she had so many times before when Edith had been little herself. "I am your mother...and you-you are my baby. Please let me help. I have already borne the pain of losing one of my girls, I don't think I could bear losing another."
At her mother's words, Edith caved and her words poured desperately out of her, "I need your help, Mama. I don't know what to do!"
Cora's sole focus became getting to her daughter as quickly as the heavens would allow. Hearing the vulnerability and fear that laced Edith's words, shook her to her core. It was a side Edith so rarely showed. A side that when presented sent alarm bells blaring through Cora's mind. "I'll be on the first train to you," she answered with certainty.
"But what about Papa and Mary?" Cora heard her daughter's voice question. "What will you tell them?"
"You let me worry about them darling, I'll think of something," she assured hoping to calm Edith's nerves. "Now please poppet, try and rest. I'll be there before you know."
Upon returning to her room she found Robert still awake, occupying himself with a book. Hearing the door open he looked up giving her a questioning stare. She smiled softly hoping he would take this as a sign things were not amiss.
"What did she say? Was she alright?" He inquired.
"Yes. Perfectly," her voice dipped into a softer tone at the last word trying to conceal her worry. "I'm going to train up in the morning to see her."
Robert watched carefully as Cora gracefully got in the bedside him. He had known her long enough to know when she did such things and he raised his eyebrows in further question "Did she really leave in such a fashion just to telephone say she was perfectly alright?" He questioned.
"Darling, with the shock of losing poor Mr. Gregson, I'm not sure we could have expected a different reaction from her. That must have been quite a lot to take in," she deterred him with a partial truth. She hated leaving him in the dark. Especially on something so big like a grandchild he had no idea about but she knew telling him would be too great a risk. While she believed Robert would accept the child over time and support Edith's decision no matter what it was, she understood Robert had a temper and the last thing she wanted was for him to have a negative reaction and push Edith even farther away.
"Are you sure that's all?" He looked at her more deeply, concerned for his middle child.
"I don't know Robert," she replied as she leaned forward, placing a kiss on his cheek. She couldn't bring herself to lie to him so she settled omitting part of the truth...well most of it. "That's why I'm going to see her." She scooted further down in the mattress and pulled her blankets up around her signaling him she was turning down for the night.
"I suppose you'll give me nothing more," he joked knowing Cora wouldn't divulge anything till she was ready.
"You'd be correct," she smirked flipping off her lamp. "Goodnight Robert."
"Goodnight my dearest," he smiled, setting his book and spectacles down for the night.
Though she tried, rest did not come to Edith that night. When she wasn't laying in bed, tormented by her thoughts and predicament, she was trying to soothe Marigold who was having a rather rough go at trying to settle in. Even when she did fall to sleep she would wake up in a fit and Edith found there was little she could do to console her. She understood why her daughter was unsettled but what she didn't understand, was the fact that she was Marigold's mother and yet she couldn't help her. She was starting to understand the statement parents made all the time about having more than one heart once your child is born. She'd do anything to protect her, give anything for her happiness, and still, she felt completely useless as she watched Marigold struggle.
It was well into the early morning when the little girl finally gave it up and passed out on her mother's shoulder, no longer able to fight how tired she felt. The only way Edith was able to calm her at all was by carrying her around the small room, the feeling of motion lulling her body and brain. Even though she had already been standing well over forty-five minutes, she did not stop her movement once the toddler's eye's closed but instead continued to sway gently. Back and forth. Doubting she would sleep herself she found it much easier to hold Marigold and ensure her some sleep, than risk disrupting her by putting her down.
By the time the morning sun had started to rise, Edith felt her eyes threatening to close and she sighed deeply wishing sleep would've just claimed her already. She had managed to situate Marigold on the bed, tucked between two pillows, creating the sense of being cradled just enough to keep her content. Knowing her mother would most likely be on the milk train, she denied herself sleep and settled on trying to make herself look like she hadn't been up all night.
...
Just as Cora had promised, she was awake and ready before Robert had even woken himself.
"Would you like something to eat before you go milady?" Baxter questioned crossing her hands in front politely.
"No," she refused softly. "I think I'll just have something on the train."
"Of course," the woman nodded before leaving the room.
Cora paused taking a final look in the mirror to make sure she looked presentable and left the room quietly, leaving her husband still undisturbed.
Making her way down the stairs, she stopped, hearing footsteps echoing her own. Turning around, she saw Rosamund dressed, ready to go behind her.
"Leaving without me?" The red-haired woman asked as she stopped beside her.
Cora looked at her silently, having forgotten Rosamund had told her she planned on coming. "No," she answered in a monotone voice as she looked away and began walking towards the car. "But I won't wait either," Cora added.
Rosamund said nothing else sensing it would not be for the best and simply followed behind her sister-in-law.
...
Cora had traveled to and from London many times since she had been at Downton and not once could she recall it taking this long. It felt unending as each minute passed slowly, seemingly bringing her no closer to her daughter.
"You won't be able to help her if you've run yourself into the ground with worry by the time we get there," Rosamund spoke softly seeing the concern etched into every line of Cora's face as she stared blankly out the window. Cora looked at her in silence still trying to find her way to the present. "It won't do any good."
Cora squinted her eyes slightly, looking at Rosamund more inquisitively now. "Did you tell yourself that when she was giving birth and her potential death was looming over your head?"
Rosamund looked down sighing. I walked into that one she thought. "No," she shook her head slightly lifting her head to meet Cora's gaze again. "I was too worried to even think about not worrying."
Cora was the one who looked down this time, swallowing forcefully. "Then you should know what you ask is not possible," she resumed to her previous position of staring out the window as the world flew by them.
"Do you know how hard it was not to tell you?" Rosamund rebutted. "How hard it was to look you and Robert in the eye...knowing that you both were oblivious?"
"Obviously, not hard enough," Cora answered honestly as she reached up catching a tear before it had the chance to fall.
"Edith swore me to secrecy! You have to understand that," Rosamund tried again.
"Oh please stop trying to justify yourself!" Cora snapped, turning to look at her with fiery eyes. "I trusted you. I trusted you like a sister but you have shown me I was wrong to do so. I am her mother. I had every right to know and you blatantly disregarded that. You let me walk blindly into the room with Mrs. Drew, with full knowledge of what she was about to tell me and that Rosamund...I find quite hard to forgive."
Rosamund looked at her with guilty eyes. Knowing nothing she could say would mend the bridge between them. If there was a bridge at all. She understood why Cora felt as she did, in fact, if the roles would have been reversed she would expect she would be behaving a similar manner but she also understood what it meant to give your word to someone you loved. She loved Edith and the last thing she had wanted was for Edith to push her away when she had pushed everyone else away. "I do not expect your forgiveness, on the contrary, I would understand if you never wanted to forgive me... but please know this. Edith-Edith is my world. The only one I have and she always has been. Since the moment you gave birth to her, I knew no one would hold my heart quite the way she did. I love her Cora. I love her with every bone in my body and I would never break my word to her. Not even for you," she spoke honestly.
Cora looked at her for a few more seconds, her expression unreadable to Rosamund. Her icy blues orbs shining from her unshed tears gave Rosamund no insight as to if she had really heard her out but she hoped the raven-haired woman would take her words to heart. She did not want to be the cause of Cora's hurt but she also knew she couldn't have been the one to cause Edith's either.
Not having the heart to wake little Marigold, Edith had arranged for a babysitter to come to stay with her. She wanted her mother to meet her daughter but at the same time, she felt so unsure about it all and took the little girl's tiredness as a sign. She would meet her mother on her own first.
She kissed the sleeping child and left hoping she would be back before Marigold woke up. The nanny seemed terribly kind but she hated to think about Marigold waking up to a face she did not know. Her world had already been turned enough as it was.
Standing at the curb, she waved her hand flagging the oncoming taxi car. It had rained overnight and she found herself stepping over puddles as she got into the vehicle. At least the weather matches how I feel some of the times she thought to herself. When they were young, rainy days had meant they had to stay inside. Sybil disliked it, Mary hated it, and while she didn't like the idea of being cooped up, she loved the idea of reading in her favorite chair while it rained. She had always been one of those children who loved nature's water show. She found peace in the rhythmic sounds it created, and how it set the ambiance for a scene in her favorite book. Or how she took the best naps when she would go to sleep watching the patterns it formed washing down the windows of the abbey. Lost in her train of thought she had failed to hear the driver.
"Where to?" He asked turning to look at her ensuring she heard him.
She hesitated. Was she sure she even wanted to do this? Now that she was here, she wasn't so sure anymore. Her stomach felt like it was in knots and she found a perpetual lump sitting in her throat. "The London station please," Edith replied.
The station was not far much to her disliking. She could've used more time to gather her thoughts and collect herself. Nerves were only the beginning of what she felt. There were so many unknown factors to this equation, she found it impossible to estimate the answer. She had been hiding in her secret for so long, she wondered what it would feel like to look her mother in eye without this shadow between them. Numerous times, had she begun to tell Cora the truth, and just as many times she had swallowed her words, afraid of disappointment. For too long had she been living a partial truth. Too long had she been alone.
"London station," the taxi man spoke alerting her of their arrival.
"Thank you," she stiffly smiled as she dropped the payment into his rather large palm. Reaching to open the door, she noticed her hand was trembling. She squeezed her fist trying to stop the tremor and exited the car taking a deep breath. "Well this is going well," Edith mumbled to herself as she began making her way to the platform.
Checking her watch, she noticed she had beat the train by 10 minutes. Sighing, she looked around for somewhere to sit. Somewhere out of the way. Ha! Perfect she thought to herself, seeing a bench at the front of the terrace. She anxiously took a seat, and observed her surroundings, noting the other people waiting just like her. Whether they were waiting to board the train or waiting for someone on the train, she didn't know but they'd be waiting all the same. Crossing her ankles, she looked down trying to preoccupy her mind with the design of her handbag. This was I going to be the longest ten minutes of her life.
...
The train came to a screeching halt in front of the station. Its engine chugging away and its whistle sounding loudly, alerting their stop. As the train had sputtered in, she had been scouting for her daughter's golden hair and felt her stomach drop slightly when she was not able to spot her. What if she changed her mind? The thought ran through her head as she nervously wore out the same spot on her dress. Sliding it back and forth between the pads of her fingers.
When the conductor opened the cabin, Rosamund being closer to the door stepped out first. Cora followed closely behind her. Her eyes scanned frantically, searching for her child from the moment she stepped out.
"Did she say she was going to meet the train?" Rosamund asked skeptically as she looked in the opposite direction of Cora.
"That's what I gathered," Cora answered somberly.
It was then that Rosamund spotted her. Sitting on a bench down the way, perfectly hidden from their line of sight by the two people standing to the side of her. "Cora..." she called turning around to tap her arm.
When Cora's gaze turned she immediately located the source of why Rosamund had been motioning her for. "Edith..." she breathed out quietly.
Both women advanced on the platform, efficiently maneuvering their way around the crowd of people who were de-boarding as well.
As the space seemed to slowly be closing between them, Cora watched at Edith's gaze turned towards their direction. Her daughter's eyes had almost drifted past them as they scanned the faces in the crowd but they came to a sudden stop and locked onto Cora's form. Edith apprehensively looked down, standing up as she did so.
They were now no more than a person's length away from each other and Cora took note of the missing child she had expected to be with Edith. She shifted her orbs slightly, double-taking Edith's surroundings in case she had missed the little girl but again she found only her daughter. She subconsciously checked Edith over trying to read her thoughts. Her movements were reserved but her eyes screamed she was alarmed.
Her pupils darted between Cora and Rosamund nervously, feeling rather exposed now that she was looking at both of them. "You didn't tell me Aunt Rosamund was coming," she spoke quietly but there was a hint of agitation underlining her words.
"I gave her no choice," Rosamund interjected olooking at her niece. "I wanted to see you for myself."
"I suppose you agree with her, don't you?" Edith gestured to Rosamund as she looked at her mother, with glistening eyes.
"Edith I-" Cora began but Edith cut her off.
"That I should send her away to some school," she shook her head slightly looking away momentarily. "Well, I won't do that you know."
While Cora might have been American, Edith was certainly not. Her middle child wasn't as outspoken in her opinions or thoughts as Mary (who was much like Violet) but instead, she was more like Robert. Dynamic and occasionally a bit sharp-tongued, but overall she was more reserved in character. The same could be said for her affection. She tended to refrain from physical displays of love. This was something Cora chose to ignore and proceeded to close the rest of the space between them, pulling Edith into her arms. "I did not come here to talk about what Rosamund wants," she stated softly as she reached up cupping Edith's head with her palm. "I came to hear what you want..." Cora loosened her grip and pulled back so she could see her daughter's face. "Where's Marigold now?"
Edith shuddered a bit at the use of her daughter's name and turned away looking at nothing in particular. "The hotel arranges for a babysitter should you need one," she answered hesitantly. "She had a terrible time trying to settle in last night...I didn't have the heart to wake her."
"May I see her?" Cora asked drawing her daughter's attention back to her.
Edith met Cora's gaze unsure of how she felt. Unsure of what to do. "I'm not sure-"
"Please Edith," Cora stopped her. Outstretching her hand, she gently placed it on Edith's cheek.
Edith's breath hitched at her mother's touch and she closed her eyes, her tears falling as she did so. "Alright," she exhaled shakily and pulled back, wiping the fresh tears away. "The hotel is not far." The golden-haired woman said nothing more and simply turned on her heel leaving Rosamund and Cora to follow behind.
This was going to be quite the day.
Hello again! I'm glad to present you with chapter two of this story! I had a wonderful time writing this chapter and I hope you find it just as enjoyable to read. In this chapter, I wanted to focus on digging into the character's mind to build some solid foundations for the next chapter. As always please review and let me know what think and if you'd like to see anything special in this story.
-lovelylavenderlady