The Milwaukee Bucks continue to amaze me. The Bucks SOMEHOW beat the Brooklyn Nets (the best team in the NBA) in the absolute CRAZIEST playoff game I have ever seen. Game 7 was a HEART ATTACK kind of contest. Milwaukee barely won, and here we are. The Bucks are in the EASTERN CONFERENCE FINALS. They are playing the Atlanta Hawks, and they just killed Atlanta tonight in Game 2. Just a great response since Game 1. (*cough* Trae Young drops 48 points *cough*) We'll see if the Bucks make it to the NBA Finals for the first time in almost 50 years in this next week. In the meantime, this story was a pretty fun one to type! It is a parody of The Muppet Show sketch of the same name. It was from the first episode, and it's one of my favorite sketches from the show overall. I watched the entire series over the last two months, and it is pretty funny. This sketch was so good, I had to type it out. The actual skit is good, check it out on YouTube if you want. So, to commemorate that and Jim Henson's memory, I present you with a western comedy sketch. Get your yee-haw gear, it's a knee-slapper! -mitch XD
cowboy time!
written June 24, 2021
It was time to play the music. It was time to light the lights. It was time to put on makeup, and it was time to dress up right. It was time to meet the Paw Patrol, as they set up a small variety show for the local elementary school in Adventure Bay. All the kids, especially Alex, Julia and Julius, were especially excited. The trio all sat in the center front row, getting a great view. The auditorium was filled with hundreds of young children, eager to see the talented Paw Patrol crew perform. Ryder was the main emcee/host. for the show, as he uncharacteristically had to be enthusiastic, but he handled it well. Mr. Porter, Cap'n Turbot and Francois were the stagehands, setting up props, scenery, among other things. It was nearing the middle of the show, and things were going great so far.
To start off the show, Skye, Everest and Zuma performed a song called "Mahna Mahna". Whatever that means. After that, Rubble went on stage to perform a bizarre and completely 'artistic' act: eating a rubber tire to the music of "The Flight of the Bumblebee". It did not work, as he found the taste of tires completely awful. He did that for the audience, who seemed to enjoy it immensely. The next act was a parody of ballroom dancing, as the dogs danced together in pairs while telling god-awful puns. Finally, it was time for all of the pups' favorite act: a western parody. The stagehands quickly set up a western-saloon like set behind the curtains.
"Places, everyone." Ryder whispered to his main cast of canines. They were dressed up and ready for a good ol' high noon showdown, as they hustled to their spots. The boy then walked to the front of the stage, curtain still closed and the lights focused all on him. "Ladies and gentlemen, get your western boots and hat on, because it's cowboy time!" Ryder exclaimed, before he walked off stage. The children in the audience exploded with cheers, as they did for every act. The curtain opened to reveal the western set, a set that resembled Utah in the late 1800s. Skye, being a really good keyboardist, started playing an old-timey piano while Rubble, who was standing next to her, started speaking his lines with a western drawl.
"I've been playing saloon piano in Snake City for three years. It was the roughest town in the old west. I mean, we had some mean customers." The bulldog spoke. As if on cue, Everest walked to Rubble and the cockapoo.
"Howdy, y'all." Everest said in a terribly-executed southern accent.
"Uh, hello, Miss Kitty." Skye and Rubble replied to her nonchalantly. Everest sat with Rocky and Zuma, the two other 'patrons' not too far from the bartender's area, where Chase stood behind a large table ready to offer 'drinks'. The kids laughed as the pilot kept playing piano and Rubble continued to talk.
"I mean, they were tough. After three years, I thought I'd seen it all. I've seen the Clanton brothers, the Younger Brothers, the James brothers, the Osmand brothers...not to mention the Mario brothers…" Rubble paused as the large audience of kids chuckled. "But when Kid Marshall came to town, I knew I hadn't seen nothing yet." He concluded. The saloon 'doors' were way back on the opposite end of the set. Marshall stood on his hind legs behind them as everyone stopped and paid attention to the doors. Skye even stopped playing the piano. The dalmatian walked in, holding two pickles in his front paws. He walked in a macho man-esque fashion, wearing a gunslinger style costume while looking serious as he could manage.
"All right, everybody. Reach for the floor." Marshall said in a very deep voice, provoking laughter from the audience. He was aiming his guns (which were something green) at the 'patrons' of the saloon.
"Beg your pardon?" Rubble asked, trying his hardest not to laugh.
"Reach for the floor. This is a stickdown." The dalmatian proclaimed as the audience giggled one again. The shepherd that was running the bar took one glance at him. He shook his head.
"You're confused, kid. You ain't got no guns, those are pickles!" Chase exclaimed in a deep tone. The fire dog looked down at his 'guns' and realized that yes, they were indeed pickles. He frowned in embarrassment. The 'patrons' of the saloon started laughing and mocking him, along with the crowd of children laughing. "That's right, folks. There he is, the fastest gerskin in the west!" Chase shouted. The rest of the pups continued laughing.
"You got a license to carry them pickles?" Zuma asked jokingly. The pups and audience continued to laugh.
"Hey, when you get shot by a pickle at close range, do you get garlic burns?" Skye giggled. The patrons of the bar and audience laughed once again. This was the last straw for Kid Marshall, as he looked at the pups with determination in his eyes.
"All right, you asked for it!" Marshall proclaimed in anger, as he fired the pickle guns wildly, twirling them about. Five gunshot sound effects played, and a chandelier was lowered onto Chase's head by Francois, one of the stagehands. Chase stood in the middle of the chandelier, trapped by it as he cowered in fear while the children laughed.
"Uhhh, sorry, kid! I didn't know the pickles were loaded!" The german shepherd stammered. He grabbed a small sack from his side with his mouth and threw it to the dalmatian pickle-slinger. "Here's your money!" Chase finished, wanting nothing to do with the situation, as the canine 'patrons' were laughing no longer.
"All right, Kid, don't make a move, I got you covered!" Rubble bravely countered, walking up to Marshall with hind legs and holding a toy pistol with one of his paws. He aimed it in the dalmatian's back.
"Okay!" Kid Marshall retorted, still facing the bartender while throwing the pickles down on the floor. He then turned around to face Rubble, giving him the big ol' eyes. "I don't need guns to fight you! I'll get you with my knife!" He threatened, pointing a carrot directly at the bulldog's chest. The audience laughed at this.
"Will you stop with the vegetables?" Rubble cringed as he smacked the vegetable out of the dalmatian's paws.
"Ugh...oh, you shouldn't have done that! I'm a desperate dog, ready for desperate measures!" He exclaimed, as he hoisted a fruit-looking bomb. The fuse was lit.
"Oh, no!" Rubble shouted. Both Skye and Everest screamed dramatically.
"Uhh, it's an apple!" Chase cried in fear.
"No, it's a cherry bomb!" Rocky screamed.
"Take cover!" Zuma trembled. The lab, mix and husky hid underneath one of the tables. Skye hid behind the piano and Chase hid behind the bartender table.
"Don't tell me!" Rubble quaked in terror.
"Yes. The fuse is lit." Marshall confirmed with dignity. He then looked down, and became terrified instantly. The dalmatian began to sweat. "The fuse is lit?!" He screamed in surprise. He put out the pretend fuse, and threw the cherry 'bomb' into the audience. The bulldog and dalmatian held each other tightly as an explosion sound effect played. A wash of white fog instantly overtook the stage as the audience of children laughed hysterically. Kid Marshall looked shaken by the whole ordeal, as the rest of the 'patrons' came out of their hiding spots, coughing with the fog in their faces. Skye walked around back to the piano, where she played a fitting sad melody. Rubble stood beside her for the big and smoking finish.
"And that's how it was, the day Kid Marshall came into town." Rubble concluded. The kids clapped and cheered loudly for the pups as the stage curtains closed. There was a balcony in the auditorium, where two pups sat, overlooking the whole place.
"That's one of the reasons I thought these pups were weird." Rocky said in a old-man tone of voice. The kids all started looking in the mix and lab's direction.
"Hmm, why's that?" Zuma asked, also sporting an old-timer accent.
"They think explosions are funny." Rocky replied an old-dragged out voice. The chocolate lab held a fake cigar and pretended to smoke it. A loud boom sound effect was played as it was dropped at exact the right time. Zuma looked at the ground in disbelief, as the audience giggled.
"Although some of them are really quite droll." Rocky concluded. The audience laughed one more time.