If you remember reading my last story, at the end, I revealed that i was getting my driver's test. Well, I passed! On the first try. I'M SO HAPPY. My grandma on my dad's side is even letting me have her car: a Buick with only 35,000 miles for only $1,000. It's the definition of highway robbery, yo. The Brewers are on their way to the postseason, where we're most likely gonna face the Atlanta Braves in the NLDS. It's gonna be fun. Hey, we might make the World Series, never know. The next full length story I'm gonna publish, which is gonna be towards the end of October, is gonna be pretty important. Sooo, yeah. Be the light- mitch :)
humdinger of a crime
written September 17th to September 29th, 2021
"PAW Patrol, to the lookout for an Ultimate Rescue!" Ryder cried to his canines through their pup-tags. It was late at night, and they all were hanging out at the park across the bridge. The sun was down and the moon was up, shining a bright light across the entire town. The weather was cold and windy, but it didn't matter much. The seven canines gazed at each other with determination.
"Ryder needs us!" They all responded dutifully. The canines howled in excitement as they ran across the bridge and into the driveway of the lookout. It had been a very long time since the team had carried out an Ultimate Rescue of any kind, so the dogs were all extremely excited as to what it could possibly be. Unfortunately for Marshall, he was the first one inside the building, and he saw an obvious trap: a banana curiously laying on the ground outside the elevator. It was too late for him.
"This is gonna hurt...hope I don't slip like the cartoons." The dally sighed in defeat. The fire pup slipped and flew uncontrollably to the back of the elevator, flying face first into the glass. He fell onto his back, with the now-empty banana peel falling in his right ear.
"Haha! I knew you were gonna fall for it! The classic banana trick. I just wanted to see you slip. You haven't been tripping up recently, so I thought it would be funny to see you...well...die for our amusement." Rubble commented to the dalmatian as the rest of the pups settled in the elevator.
"Oh, hey, Rubble, what's good, my homie?!" Marshall asked his friend in an innocent tone.
"Dude...you have a banana in your ear...wait...can you hear me, bro?" The bulldog asked him, slightly worried about his spotted friend's hearing.
"What's that, Rubble?! I can't hear you! I got a banana in my ear!" Marshall blurted out, laughing in the poor construction dog's face. All the dogs laughed at this joke.
"Great comedians always have the best comebacks…" Rubble sighed in agony.
"Thank you! I'll be here all night!" Marshall smiled, causing his friends to chuckle again as the elevator started to rise. Within seconds, the pups were out front and center, lined up in front of Ryder in a military-like fashion.
"PAW Patrol ready for action, Ryder sir!" Chase proclaimed in his signature deep voice. They all looked at each other's remarkably similar blue clothing.
"Yo! We're going police style!" Zuma grinned. All the dogs looked at each other with confidence and swagger in their eyes. This was gonna be fun.
"Thanks for hurrying, pups. I...uhhh...don't know how to say this...this is a different mission than usual, man. I don't know how else to say it." Ryder spoke up, feeling a bit uneasy in his vocal delivery.
"What'cha mean, Ryder? It can't be that bad." Skye said confidently, shrugging it off. The PAW Patrol have already done multiple serious Ultimate Rescues, such as hunting down an arsonist, stopping armed robbers, among other big tasks.
"I've never seen Humdinger stoop this low...I don't even wanna describe it, but I have to, anyway. According to a few eyewitnesses, Mayor Humdinger was walking into the local pet cemetery with a shovel. There can be only one reason as to why he would do this…" The boy cringed. It took a few moments for the canines' minds to register, but it made sense. A horrific and messed-up kind of sense: Humdinger was grave-robbing the pet cemetery. All the dogs gasped in shock and disgust.
"Bro, what the fuck?!" Marshall exclaimed.
"I'm gonna be sick…" Rocky mumbled, his head turning green at the mere thought of the sadistic deed.
"Oh my god, no way. There's no fucking way." Rubble stammered.
"That is so low. Even for Humdinger." Everest scoffed.
"We gotta do something about him! We can't just let him get away with this!" Skye pleaded emotionally to Ryder. The cockapoo had an extremely soft spot for animals, and it showed whenever she saw an animal, especially a tiny one, that was hurt. Even saying the acronym ASPCA out loud was something that would send Skye into depression. The cockapoo let a tear slip down her face, and all of her friends gazed at her with sympathy, especially the german shepherd.
"Ryder, Skye is right. Me and the rest of the PAW Patrol have had it with Mayor Humdinger's actions. He has done many evil deeds to waste our time and energy. Cheating, lying, and now engaging in grave robbing! We just can't keep letting him get off scot-free with this stuff! I say we arrest Mayor Humdinger and put him behind bars!" Chase protested. The pups beside him shouted and howled in approval, while the boy nodded in understanding.
"You know what? I totally get where you're coming from, Chase. I've been getting tired of Humdinger's act too. I say that we will bring him to justice. That means that we will be arresting him. And Chase, due to your bravery...and incredible leadership I have just seen, I am putting you in charge for this mission." Ryder declared. The german shepherd smiled like he never had before, and the pups gasped in surprise.
"You mean...I'm in charge?! Of the whole operation?!" Chase grinned.
"That's right! And I think you can do it. I think you're capable enough." Ryder stated. Chase and his canine comrades howled in unison with newfound motivation. "I'm gonna be staying here at the lookout, watching everything from afar on the screen behind me. You're gonna be calling the shots." The boy added. Chase, with his newfound joy overflowing, rushed to his owner and licked his face several times.
"Thank you, Ryder! You won't regret this!" The german shepherd beamed.
"I know you'll do great." Ryder concluded.
"These paws uphold the laws!" The seven pups shouted with glee, as they all jumped onto the slide that led them to the basement, where the german shepherd's Ultimate Rescue vehicle laid. After a few minutes on the road, the mood was mundane among the team, even though it wasn't an ordinary mission.
"Hey, Chase? I always wanted to ask you something." Marshall quipped.
"What's up, man?" Chase replied.
"How come Rocky always gets shotgun while you get Ultimate Rescue jobs? Just wondering." The dalmatian asked.
"You know, that is a good thought. I don't really know why that's the case...and we're gonna put that to rest. Because we're pulling up now." The shepherd replied quietly. As the large vehicle pulled in, Chase turned all the lights off. The canines all jumped out, clad in police uniforms. The weather had turned a bit chilly, with winds gusting almost 15 miles an hour.
"So, how are we gonna catch him?" Zuma whispered.
"I have a plan…" Chase muttered. The team got closer to their unofficial leader and listened intently. "I want all of us to split up and look for Humdinger throughout the cemetery. Marshall, you take the southeast. Everest, you take the north. Skye, northeast. Zuma, southwest. Rubble, northwest. Rocky, take the south. I'll stay in the middle. If any of you see him, howl like crazy. Then, we'll all ambush him and throw our nets at him like a bunch of psychos. It's gonna be fun. Alright, let's roll." The german shepherd concluded. The team went to their assigned positions to begin the search. It was a few minutes before any of the pups caught anything.
"Hey, Chase...I smell something...the smell of cat fur…" Rocky whispered to the german shepherd through his pup tag.
"Nice. Keep following the scent." Chase replied quickly. Not even a minute later, a tree branch snapped. All of the pups' ears perked up.
"Stupid branch…" A mysterious man cursed. This gave him away, as Rubble jumped and pointed a flashlight directly at the mysterious man. It was indeed Humdinger, carrying a shovel. " Oh shit!" He gasped, as he tried to make a run for it. The mayor knew he was exposed.
"GET HIM!" The bulldog yelled to his comrades, pointing the flashlight at him. The canines jumped at this opportunity, cutting him down rather quickly as Chase launched a net at the mayor, capturing him without any problems. The canines all used their nets to add onto the first net for good measure, with Humdinger having no chance of escape.
"Good work, pups! I'll take it from here." A voice called. It was Ryder, who himself had a police uni on him- along with handcuffs.
"Ugggghhhh...can someone release me?!" Humdinger cried, irritated of being trapped by several nets.
"No problem, mister mayor." Ryder grumbled, as he freed the disgraced purple-suited man with a pocket knife cutting him free. "But you're not gonna be free for long. Chase, you can do the honors." The boy spoke. Chase's ears perked up in confusion. Ryder then leaned down to whisper the magic words. A few seconds later, the German shepherd looked up to the mayor with determination in his eyes.
"Mayor Humdinger, The PAW Patrol and I are sick of your constant acts of lying, cheating and being an overall nuisance to Adventure Bay. We've let you go so many times, but this latest scheme of yours is the last straw. Mayor, I order you to put your hands behind your back." Chase forcefully spoke. The mayor did as he was told, as the shepherd put handcuffs on him. "You are officially under arrest for attempting to rob a cemetary, among other crimes. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in the court of law. You have the right to an attorney." The police dog stated. Humdinger realized that the impossible was happening.
"Wait...you're arresting me?! Is this a joke?! You can't arrest me, you're a dog!" Humdinger protested, as Ryder escorted him to an actual police car, where a police officer of another department not far away was standing on the side of the road.
"Tell that to the judge, purple guy." The police officer muttered as he shoved Humdinger into the police cruiser.
"THIS CAN'T BE HAPPENING!" Humdinger cried as he was taken away by the cop and off to the county jail nearby. The canines and Ryder celebrated amongst one another as they put the threat of Humdinger in the hands of the court system, as the police sirens became quieter, vanishing in the distance.
1 WEEK LATER
After only one week, Humdinger was on trial for the unbelievable amount of crimes he had committed. The jury, led by prominent citizens of Adventure Bay, including Cap'n Turbot, Francois, Mr. Porter and others, already found him guilty of over 100 counts of lying, stealing, and other nefarious acts. Today was the day of his sentencing. The trial, which was being held in Mayor Goodway's mansion in the middle of the town, was packed to a full house. Everyone in town was there, including dozens of media representatives and news reporters. The Paw Patrol themselves got front row seats to the trial, and it was actually pretty entertaining, to say the least. Mayor Humdinger, against all advice given to him, made himself his own attorney. He basically committed suicide to his freedom, as the crowd snickered before him. Presenting the evidence was a piece of cake, as Mayor Goodway was the plaintiff on the case. She presented the unbelievable amount of evidence against Humdinger, with the PAW Patrol, Ryder and several other witnesses being called to the stand. The trial was being wrapped up, and Humdinger had nowhere to run as the Earl of Barkingburg, who volunteered to be the judge, looked at the disgraced mayor with disgust.
"Mister Mayor Humdinger, I am sickened beyond words by the crimes that you have committed. This latest act of yours has crossed the line, and I am calling you to the stand." The Earl commanded. The mayor quietly walked up to the stand and stared at the jury and court audience before him. "Now, you have never given the jury a motive as to why you committed this grave-robbing attempt. As a juror, I am making you testify under oath as to answer why you did such a heinous deed." The Earl spoke with authority. Humdinger, who was still wearing his signature purple suit, looked on and sighed bitterly.
"Yes, your honor...You see...the reason why I committed the grave robbery...was pretty simple. My kitties...were not very effective in helping me with my schemes. They were pretty useless, actually, and I thought about that predicament for a long time. Unfortunately, I thought of replacing them, and replacing them. I have no money to afford a team of vicious dogs, so I created a plan. My new plan was to grave-rob the pet cemetery and steal dead dog's corpses. There, I would have returned to my cave, revive them and cause chaos and destruction to Adventure Bay and force the city and the demented PAW Patrol to surrender under my control." Mayor Humdinger remarked with no remorse and a cold stare. The whole audience and jury gasped in horror, as the psychopathic plan was unveiled for all to see. The dogs were physically squirming and cringing at the thought of zombie canines taking over the city. Mayor Goodway was shocked most of all. When they first met, they were just competitive frenemies. Now, she knew more than ever that her former adversary from Foggy Bottom was a rotten and messed-up menace.
"Order in the court. Now, Humdinger, do you have any last words before you are sentenced?" The Earl inquired the mayor in an unforgiving stare. Humdinger cleared his throat.
"I only have one request...Katie...can you look after the kitties for me?" Humdinger asked quietly. The pet groomer nodded silently. "Good. I have no other words, your honor." He murmured. He still kept a heartless death stare in his eyes, a far cry of the mischievous man he once was.
"Mayor Humdinger, I am sentencing you to 25 years to life in prison with the possibility of parole in 30 years." The Earl announced, smacking the hammer down, ending the trial then and there. Unexpectedly, the whole crowd and jury started celebrating like there was no tomorrow. They were all jeering at the disgraced man, calling him names as Humdinger closed his eyes and looked at the crowd one last time as fellow cops from another city escorted him out of the room.
"THIS ISN'T OVER! I'LL HAVE MY REVENGE!" He bellowed as he was forcibly shoved out of sight.
A german shepherd jolted out of his pup bed, breathing heavily. He then gazed around him. He was on his pup bed. In his pup house, alone.
"FUCK!" Chase cursed to himself. He was really pissed off that the arrest of the PAW Patrol's nemesis was all but a dream. He got out of the pup house rather groggily, and was blinded by the sunlight. It was a rather sunny fall day, with leaves falling off the trees in the distance. As it was 8 AM, he grabbed his megaphone and woke up his fellow comrades. "All right dudes! Wake up, breakfast is ready." Chase announced in a grumpy tone. The dogs all woke up and walked past him, greeting the german shepherd casually as they walked inside the lookout for some morning grub. All the dogs, except two of his best friends, Skye and Marshall, walked past him. They both stared at Chase with confusion.
"Soooo...you mad, bro?" Marshall smirked, gently poking his best friend.
"I'm sooooo pissed off." Chase grumbled, crossing his front paws.
"Why, Chase? What's got you in such a sucky-ducky mood?" Skye asked.
"I had this epic dream last night, and I am upset that it wasn't real." The german shepherd admitted.
"Oh my god! I know!" Marshall smiled, pointing directly at the couple with both of his front paws. "You and Skye got married in your dream." The dalmatian spoke with a smug expression.
"Ohhhh, yeah. That would have been sweet, but no." Chase sighed as he and Skye both blushed intensely, both holding each other's paws.
"Did you...arrest somebody?" The cockapoo asked, looking up to her boyfriend innocently.
"That's correct. You gotta guess, though." Chase confirmed.
"Uhhhh...you got Sweetie? I mean, she is a notorious power hungry royal." Marshall admitted. The canine from the Barkingburg royal family was still a present threat: even though she hadn't committed a crown-stealing scheme in a long time, there were rumors that she was secretly planning her biggest one yet.
"If I was the judge, I would have sentenced her to death for treason for stealing the crown so much." Chase joked, causing his two best friends to laugh.
"Let me guess...Mayor Humdinger?" The cockapoo pondered.
"Yep...and it was such a weird case too." The german shepherd replied.
"What did he do? Try and lead a coup or something?" Marshall guessed.
"Nah. It was worse. Much worse." Chase shivered at the thought of his dream.
"Oh my god, spill it." Skye begged the german shepherd.
"We found out that he was grave robbing the pet cemetery and using canine corpses, turning them into zombies, and causing chaos in Adventure Bay." Chase sighed.
"What the hell?!" The fire dog and pilot shouted in surprise.
"That's so screwed up, man! He oughta go to prison for that." Marshall replied.
"That makes me sickkkk…" The cockapoo groaned.
"Yeah, we sentenced that purple fuck to 25 years to life in jail. And I'm still mad at him for what he tried to do to me a few weeks ago." Chase grumbled.
"What for?" Marshall and Skye shrugged.
"He tried to cancel me on Twitter because I'm a fucking cop. Like, really?! I don't even have a Twitter! This grown ass man is so pressed with us thwarting his own plans because he's terrible at planning that he's taking all his rage out on me! I mean, what is this guy's problem!? Just leave me and my homies alone! I'm so mad, I'm gonna eat two breakfast kibbles in one sitting." The german shepherd seethed as he walked into the lookout without another word. Skye and Marshall shrugged it off and tagged along into the tower. Humdinger indeed tried to cancel the police dog-and the PAW Patrol at large-by doing what he did best-causing mischief. He tried cancelling the PAW Patrol on Twitter and Facebook, only to find out they didn't even have one. He organized a protest, but didn't have a permit for one. He shouted into a loud megaphone for two days, calling out the PAW Patrol-especially Chase-for things he never did. Fortunately, none of the townsfolk believed him, and they showered the mayor with harsh criticism. Ryder, Mayor Goodway, the German shepherd and even his PAW Patrol comrades denounced these allegations for what they were: big lies. They told Humdinger to get lost, and he hadn't come back to Adventure Bay since. There were rumors that he would come back to spark more trouble, but they were only rumors. Only time would tell if he came back.