Original A/N:
Hello again!
Sorry it took so long to get this updated!
I took my time with it and dealt with other things
(substrikecause the whole reason I ended up writing a different omake than part 2 of this in the first place is because I was struggling with things here/strike/sub)
As you can see, I think I had too much fun here... That's why I ended up needing to add another chapter. Just so I don't drop another word bomb (and give me time to figure out another part I got stuck in hahaha).
Just a heads up
1) Rating upped to M because of citrusy footnotes
2) Creepy fan behaviour could be seen here
3) Attempted Sexual Harassment (groping) was portrayed but is thwarted and it is shown to be frowned upon (I'M SORRY for this... but I can't not imagine Venti having a 100% pure fan base, huhuhu)
4) Please remember that this is a 'crack-treated-seriously' fic and it's light-hearted fun. I don't mean to offend anybody. If there's something glaringly wrong, don't be afraid to point it out!
5) Thanks again to my wonderful friend who edits this with me!
Venti was confused when Diluc brought him upstairs instead of showing him the way out once the tavern had closed for the night. His eyes sparkled when the redhead unlocks one of the rooms—the smallest one, sure, but it is still a room of Angel's Share.
"Aren't these rooms reserved for guests? Is it really alright for me to use one of these?"
"No one ever uses these rooms. The price for one night is above the usual fare," Diluc answers. He'd rather have the notorious pilferer here than at the Winery where those sticky hands would have so many temptations to choose from. "The room I unlocked is especially neglected. You may use it as your sleeping quarters for the duration of your stay here."
"Why, aren't you generous tonight, Wine Master Diluc. What's the occasion?"
"I simply treat my employees well." Diluc throws the key into the air. "I will brief Charles on what has transpired tonight and have him teach you what you need to know."
"What of my working schedule?"
"You are to start by mid afternoon until the tavern's closing hours." The Pyro Vision holder made his way to the winding staircase. "Do as you will with the time in between. No raiding of the liquor cabinet. Unless you're ready for a much longer stay?"
Venti let out an exaggerated gasp. "You must be kidding!"
"I'm serious," Diluc warned, giving one last look at the bard to make sure he understood his position, before taking the first few steps down to the first floor. "Good night to you, Bard."
"And the same to you, I bid adieu, o gracious Wine Master."
Diluc didn't see the mocking bow that came with the farewell, but he was sure it was as irritating as he imagined it to be.
Once the tavern owner was out of sight, he went inside his room to check it out. It was of modest size with a single bed, a night stand beside it, a closet by the opposite corner of the bed, and a writing desk. He was delighted to see that this room had a window. It may open up to the magnificent view of the Mondstadt City Wall, but it did provide some ventilation which was always welcome.
And where there is wind, there is a song that can be carried away by it.
•○●○• ◇ •○●○•
A month later, the bard finds himself adapting to wait-staff life well. He was fine with most tasks such as taking orders and serving customers with a smile, helping with the cleaning and food preparation, and getting along with the two other lovely wait-staff in charge of the outdoor and 2nd floor dining areas. Tasks such as scrubbing down the tables, and getting indisposed drunkards out of the door after closing hours were those he couldn't exactly adapt to very well and could happily live without. [11]
It is late afternoon, and Venti is sweeping the floor when Charles beckons him to come over to the bar. The bard notices that there are some envelopes, leaflets, and flyers in the bartender's hands that he is sorting through. There is an envelope on the counter top. When he moves to pick it up, seeing his name on it, the barkeep speaks up.
"I almost forgot. There came a letter addressed to you a few months ago."
"A letter from a few months ago, huh?" Clearly, Venti didn't know Angel's Share was his home address here in Mondstadt. It does make sense as Angel's Share is the tavern he frequents the most, and that he definitely had not claimed a spot in some alleyway somewhere in the city to call his home. Nowhere was safe; the cats were everywhere. If he lingered somewhere too long, they made it a point to hold impromptu meetings wherever he was.
He shrugs. The alternative is a bit more far-fetched and would cause the letter to be sent back to its sender. No delivery personnel would simply leave it under a huge tree in the middle of Windrise—historical marker or not, right?
"Let's see, let's see…" He flips the envelope and opens the flap, eager to read through something that isn't fan mail. He started getting those about a week and a half into this debt-paying job. Peering inside, he sees some sort of thin cardstock instead of parchment. He frees it from the confines of the envelope and sees the signed name at the bottom. "Ah, it's from the Traveler! What news needs the discretion of a letter?"
Strange, he is sure the Traveler could find ways to contact him directly without going through the air mail system. He scans the text that was written above the signed name.
"Handling them isn't too bad once you get used to them. Some can even be persuaded to lend a helping hand. -Lumine"
The bard tilts his head in confusion and flips over the cardstock. He realizes it's a photograph, but his confusion only worsens.
Why did Lumine send him a picture of her sightseeing in Huaguang Stone Forest?
Venti sees Charles raising a brow towards his direction from the corner of his eye. He gives him a smile before he brings the photograph closer to examine it thoroughly. He must be missing a vital clue; surely this isn't just a postcard with Lumine acting as a Travel Ambassador to Liyue's scenic sights (though the possibility of the Traveler being commissioned for this sort of thing is high).
Oh, there it is—just under Lumine herself and almost out of frame—a giant metallic hand.
It was a Ruin Guard photo [12], a subtle one at that. Lumine was sitting on a Ruin Guard's outstretched hand as (presumably) Paimon took the shot.
Venti purses his lips as he tries to hold back the peals of laughter threatening to spill from his lips. His laughter would surely wake up the two passed-out, drunk out of their minds, customers at the back.
"You don't have to hold it in, you know. Let them hear; it's about time they get a move on—especially that Nimrod." Charles places an arm on the counter and leans close to the bard after clearing out the old papers. "It's hard to get Eury to stop when she gets going about her husband's drinking habits, so I'd rather he hit the road instead of staying here passed out until she comes to fetch him."
The bartender chuckles lightly.
"So, what about the letter that's gotten you in such good spirits?"
"Oh, it's nothing—just the Traveler." Venti holds up the picture for Charles to see. "You know how silly adventurers can get with their antics."
The bartender understands the adventurers part—he has heard many tales of adventurers acting like idiots—but, he isn't exactly sure what was special or relatively humorous about the photograph.
"Ah, sorry, it's an inside joke sort of thing." Venti tucks the photograph back into its envelope, appreciating the pun in the message and Lumine's taste in curating the photos. [13] "One with Ruin Guards, if you'd believe she had the guts to repeatedly mess with such things!"
"Why am I not surprised? If it's one thing our Honorary Knight has got, it's guts!" Charles laughs heartily.
"You've got that right!" Venti joins in not a moment later.
Their laughter wakes up the two drunk men at the back. One of them looks around blearily before slumping back onto the table to doze off once more. The other, Nimrod, seems to have regained some of his bearings upon waking up. It takes a long second for the color to drain from his face and for him to run to the door.
"Ah, he rushed off without paying his bill again." Charles stands back up and scratches the back of his head. "I'll put it on his tab for now."
"You don't mind if I go upstairs to get changed, right?" Venti whips up a sheepish smile, making sure to flutter his eyelashes twice.
Charles eyes the abandoned broom and dustpan by one of the building's support posts and sighs.
"Yeah, yeah, off with you." The bartender makes a shooing gesture to which the bard happily thanks him before skipping his way to his bedroom upstairs.
Charles doesn't want to admit that he has grown a soft spot for the bard and has become one of his victims. At least the affliction is not bad enough to let the bard have a glass more than what Master Diluc allows as part of the bard's wage.
He moves over to take care of the abandoned cleaning supplies.
It may be peaceful now, but it wouldn't take long for the inner dining hall to be packed with people, now that every citizen of drinking age in Mondstadt has been charmed by the resident Angel of Angel's Share.
—○ ● ○ ◇◇◇ ○ ● ○ —
Xiao waits, as he goes on his daily patrols, scouring the landscape of Liyue to seek the damned, keeping an ear open for the softest of whispers in case his name falls on familiar lips. And he continues to wait in the idle moments deep into the night when he only has the moon, and a soft tune that he had grown accustomed to look forward to every night [14]—especially on nights the moon keeps to itself, for company.
Why hasn't Venti called on him?
That little menace called on him at every opportunity after learning he Xiao would always come when he calls for him. He abused that privilege at every turn during his stay in Liyue.
"Xiao~"
A few moments later, Xiao drops from the above two figures at the foot of a mountain.
"What is it this time?" The Yaksha crosses his arms, clearly displeased about being called out for what he senses to be a useless task.
"Could you help carry Vermeer up to the viewpoint around here? We've got a little competition to settle with this painter here, hehe."
"I'll show you that a painting can best any song or poetry! I may not have settled my score with Qingzhou, but I'm sure I'll come on top this time!"
Xiao stares down at the painter. Yes, he does look like he would need a hand in climbing up with his physique. The Yaksha doesn't appreciate being called to do such a job. The insolence coming from the man further displeases him.
"Wha-what are you looking at me like that for?"
Venti hops close to the Yaksha and leans over, cupping his hand over his mouth as he whispers: "We'll just have to prove him wrong, right?"
Xiao could feel rather than see smirk playing on the bard's lips. It is an easy task for him after all. The said bard quickly pecks a light kiss at the shorter man's unguarded cheek, his hand obscuring the act, and quickly adds a sweet 'please?' in hopes of swaying the Yaksha to do his bidding.
Xiao's eyes dart to the grinning bard before he huffs.
"I'll do it," the Yaksha concedes before sternly stating his terms. "In exchange, don't go easy on him; crush him."
"Can't say no to that request now, can I~" Venti singsongs in the way he knows Xiao could appreciate his enthusiasm.
"Hey, I heard that!" Vermeer bristles, stomping once in the ground. "I've made special paint mixes in advance should another showdown in the arts were to present itself. Don't underestimate a painter! Prepare yourself, bard!"
Venti giggles at the taunt before he starts to climb the ridge before him.
Vermeer has to cough impatiently to get Xiao's attention so that they could start their own journey up the ridge. He frowns when the young-looking man clicks his tongue. Little did he know that the action wasn't directed at him, but rather at the man himself.
Pathetic, Xiao berates himself for letting a simple action such as giggling make him lose touch of reality, even if it was just for a moment.
•○●○• ◇ •○●○•
"Xiao…"
Venti hiccups and slumps by a railing at the dock. His vision is growing hazier and hazier with the way his surroundings are tilting all around him. Every other step becomes a misstep, making him hit the concrete pavement more times than he'd like.
It has truly been a while since he's drunk himself stupid.
"You reek of alcohol." The bard hears from behind him. He twirls and gives Xiao a dopey grin before gracelessly falling on the other's chest. He doesn't miss the way Xiao wrinkles his nose.
Ah~ Like father, like son, indeed. Venti slips into a fit if giggles.
"You went overboard with the drinking again," the shorter man reprimands as he catches him with no trouble at all. "What's so funny?"
"Oh—hic—you came!" the former Archon replies as he starts drawing lazy circles on the well-built surface under him, but ends up wrapping his arms around the warrior's torso. "Just—hic—thinking how—hic—you two are soooo—hic—alike. Hehehe."
Xiao clicks his tongue and pries the slobbering fool off of him. He groans when the first attempt ends in failure. They talked about this before.
"Take me to your place?"
The Yaksha pauses in his seemingly futile attempt to remove the drunkard-turned-cephalopod from his person. He stares at those glazed yet still somehow bright eyes for a moment, finding his resolve crumbling slowly under the weight of the stare. He shakes his head before renewing his efforts. He cannot falter and show weakness here.
One hard push does the trick.
The bard lands on his butt and begins to whine how ungentlemanly the gesture was.
"I warned you several times that I won't tolerate excessive drinking," Xiao looks down at Venti with his arms crossed and his face stern. "Those warnings include the threat of my leaving you in a ditch somewhere until you're completely sober."
Venti makes a face that screams: 'you weren't kidding?!'.
Xiao huffs in disappointment and turns around to return to whichever battlefield he left before heeding this drunken idiot's call. He is about to leap high when he feels a hand tugging at his sleeve. He turns his head towards the bard.
"I know, I know," Venti starts then hiccupping once more. His eyes were now blurry with unshed tears. "It's just when the sailors—hic—held a last man standing drinking contest—hic—, you know I can't—hic—hold myself back. Just a bit of me—merriment."
Xiao relaxes and kneels down beside the bard. Venti truly has adapted to the temperament of mortals, even when drunk. He pulls the head full of midnight curls to his chest and rubs (what he hoped to be) soothing circles on the other's back.
He wouldn't admit to being weak to another's tears, especially Venti's.
Venti giggles once more as he snuggles against that secure, broad chest and relishes the way he could feel the warmth radiate from the Yaksha's body and the cold of the obsidian amulet on his forehead. Ah, he could already imagine the way Xiao's eyes narrow by the way the other's hand stops in its tracks. He has been found out.
"Unapologetic, I see." Xiao lets go, stands abruptly, and fully turns his back on the drunkard once more. He has been played.
"Awww," Venti whines, puffing his cheeks. "I was enjoying that!"
Xiao doesn't look at him but stays where he is.
"Fine, one last thing before you go."
Xiao sighs and turns fully face the bard, hopefully for the last time tonight.
"You know… you're so pretty, even when you're mad," Venti starts, trying to sound nonchalant as he twirls his braid once before locking eyes with stern gold ones above him. "Even if you're not here to help, getting to see you under the moon's silver light makes me oh-so glad."
He smiles, and enjoys the view. The moonlight does bring out Xiao's ethereal beauty the most. He considers the flush blossoming on the other's surprised face a victory. Oh, Xiao would probably look unperturbed to anyone else, but to Venti, the slight widening of those golden eyes told him the emotion underneath that exterior. He savors it until it all goes black.
The bard passes out.
Xiao's eyes dart between the passed out bard and the concrete surface the other has chosen as his bed. He stands there until he could feel the heat on his cheeks subside before scooping up the hopelessly drunk deadweight into his arms.
Xiao notes that even as indisposed as Venti is, the former Archon is still light as a feather. He is tempted to bring him to Wangshu Inn, but he is also adamant on following his master's advice on teaching the bard a lesson regarding his recklessness.
The Adeptus admits that he might have been spoiling this imp a little too much lately. He'll have to find a place for the bard to stay in and call it a day.
They are at a dock… and, if he remembers correctly, Venti did say something about the appropriate place for drunk sailors to stay in...
The next morning, Venti finds himself with a magnificent headache and the very urgent need to vomit. The sun burns his eyes and everything is too loud for his sensitive gentle rocking of the boat he's in was definitely not helping. But it did provide easy access to his most basic of needs at the moment. After heaving the content of almost everything he ate the night before into the sea, he plops back onto the boat's floor and covers his eyes with his arm. He weakly chuckles.
He shouldn't have sung that song to Xiao. [15]
•○●○• ◇ •○●○•
"Ngh… Xiao…"
"Oh come on, it's the last stretch!" Childe whines with his big, distorted voice. He notices Lumine making a face, a fusion between disgust and awkwardness. He has to admit, whining in a supposedly intimidating voice isn't the most pleasing of sounds. Lumine can feel as uncomfortable as she wants; he isn't trying to please anyone but himself in trying to get one of his challengers to stay. "Don't tell me you're leaving us for a booty call!"
Three sets of glares land on Childe.
"Shut up, Childe!" Lumine was quick to chastise the giant masked man that had an ever-flowing cape despite the light flush dusting her cheeks. She sends a Wind Blade towards his direction, which he sidesteps. Her eyes narrows further before she breaks eye contact.
"Thank you for your help, Xiao. It's okay, I think we can manage here," she says as she turns her attention to the Adeptus, who was looking a bit conflicted.
She is desperately trying to keep the internal screaming in her mind, exerting much effort to prevent it from leaking into reality. She was saving Xiao's Bane of All Evil for this phase of the battle for this week's 'Weekly-Childe-Beat-Up-Session'. It is a rare opportunity to chance upon the Adeptus for this sort of activity.
But, if duty calls, duty calls.
And she has a gut feeling it was partially her fault to begin with. She had Venti help her earlier in controlling a Whopper Flower infestation (or as they found out, an ambitious attempt to domesticate Whopperflowers that had gone terribly wrong). And true to the commission's brief, they encountered so many Whopperflowers in need of eradication.
And, Venti did end up getting the short end of the stick since he had to deal with the more serious complications the event has brought. A Pyro Whopperflower, in a desperate attempt at survival, threw a condensed ball of pollen at the bard's direction along with its species's usual fireballs.
Best not to think too deeply about how exactly Venti had planned to deal with the aftermath after he had to excuse himself when the battle was over.
"I-I see…" the Yaksha says as the urge to heed the call wins out. He could detect a hint of pain in that silent plea. "I will make it up to you, Traveler."
"Never mind that, just go!" Paimon happily encourages the Yaksha.
A teal and black mist envelops the Yaksha after donning his mask. He is gone from sight the very next second.
"So, it's just you and me, Comrade." Tartaglia announces, sauntering closer to the Traveler. "So give it all you got!"
Lumine cracks her knuckles as she too begins to walk towards the 11th Fatui Harbinger.
"You don't go teasing Xiao like that without paying for the consequences, you know."
Tartaglia lets out an exasperated sigh and slumps a bit forward to openly display the disappointment he feels.
"Oh Tsaritsa, not you too! Zhongli practically babies him since he learned Shrimpy visits him frequently. It got worse when he started coming over. Does no one care about my feelings?"
"I'm already entertaining you, aren't I?" Lumine scoffs at him before summoning her geo constructs, in hopes of trapping him into one spot.
"That's besides the point." Tartaglia evades without much effort. "You have to admit, it would be funny if it really is a booty call, wouldn't it?" [16]
He chuckles as Lumine recklessly tries to physically shut him up with her sword. At least he got her pumped up for a proper battle.
•○●○• ◇ •○●○•
Xiao's leg jitters as he waits in his seat at Wangshu Inn's kitchen for his serving of Almond Tofu. He couldn't fathom how Venti still hasn't called on him.
Smiley Yanxiao is beyond terrified. He had never seen the Young Master so agitated. Was he cooking too slowly? Was the taste of his dishes declining? He didn't know, and he didn't want to know what would happen if he served anything substandard to their special guest when the said special guest is in this sort of mood.
Smiley's fear made his hand unsteady. It made his last swipe of his knife at the gelatinous dessert become uneven. He is going to die; he knows it. He throws a tentative look at the Adeptus and he sees daggers in those eyes.
He is doomed. Should he start groveling on the floor now?
"Oh, was I interrupting your work? My apologies."
The impatient tapping of a foot stopped.
Smiley looks up from his position from the ground, and is met with a blank stare. He promptly gets up and takes out another block of almond tofu.
He'll make sure that this bowl is the best Almond Tofu he will ever serve in his lifetime.
Behind him, Xiao tilts his head in confusion.
—○ ● ○ ◇◇◇ ○ ● ○ —
Venti opens a wooden box and places the Traveler's letter on top of a small pile of fan letters.
These are where he puts the wholesome fan letters. Letters of admiration, where fellow bards and some hopeful bards share how they were inspired by his performances. There were also some letters from the elderly who appreciated his singing of songs from times long gone, and from children who simply thought his voice was amazing.
The others were separated into two more piles that lay near his cabinet. There is a cardboard box that contains confession and love letters. And there was a bag he designated as a trash bag where all the others that belong to the other two categories belong.
Hm, maybe he should make a new pile to separate the death threats and the outright pervertedly degenerate ones [17].
Receiving death threats for the reason that 'he had seduced their husband/boyfriend/significant other away from their embrace' is humorous on its own, if concerning.
Receiving death threats from competition (other bards or drinking establishments) is quite the opposite, but that's a thought for another time.
But he couldn't wait to read some of these to Xiao, just to milk all sorts of reactions from the usually stoic Adeptus.
He walks over to where his 'uniform' hangs on his closet's handles. He always has mixed feelings when he puts this particular Dirndl on (and its twin).
The Dirndl itself is not to blame for those feelings. It is well-made with good materials, comfortable to wear truly pleasing to the eye.
The white blouse has frills around the neck and at the ends of the puffed sleeves. Its neckline has a modest plunge, cutting off at the beginning of his clavicle. The bodice is dark brown, similar to the color of his usual corset. It is dotted with cute little embroidered aqua Dandelion Seeds in mid-flight. The apron was the same verdant green as his cape and hat.
With a borrowed sewing kit and a few scraps of cloth he was able to put his personal touch onto the ensemble, starting with two paper windmill designed patchwork on the bottom left side of his apron, and a replication of the gold-and-black stripe pattern of his cape's bow as a replacement for his apron's draw waistband.
The Dirndl was a thing of beauty that he couldn't be anything be but happy and satisfied about.
The trouble lay in the fact that this Dirndl was gifted to him by his 'admirers'. The letter that came with the appearance of this outfit the day after he started his work as part of Dawn Winery's servers tells him that 'the standard barmaid worn by Angel's Share waitstaff during the festivities in October simply did not do him justice, and so they had to take matters into their own hands'.
While he appreciates their enthusiasm and… unique way of looking out for him, it was undeniably unsettling how they are able to present him with an outfit that fit him perfectly come morning on his second day on the job. It is even more disturbing for them to provide a replica a day after. He figures that they really want to see him in this outfit all the time.
Who is he to deny the customers what they want? It probably is better not to encourage creepy fan behavior, but if this is what it takes for them to pay more (and ultimately pay his debt faster), then why not? He does get more tips when he performs as a bard dressed like this, hence he dresses up before his bardly duties are required.
Venti quickly changes into the outfit and finds himself stumped at tying the ribbon of his apron once again.
It's already been a month. He should be over this issue by now, or have at least made some sort of resolution for this predicament. Xiao and Zhongli would scold him for being so indecisive over a 'simple matter'.
By Mondstadt tradition, the placement of the apron ribbon or knot signals the wearer's relationship status. [18] He had always tied the ribbon at the back, since he is playing the part of a waitstaff in a tavern.
Yet, every time he puts on his apron, for a minute or two, his hands would linger on his right hip. The ending would always be the same: he would sigh, shake his head, and quickly tie a bow behind his back.
Venti knows that there is something between him and Xiao. He just couldn't point his finger to what exactly that something is. One could imagine, with all his meddling in one-too-many mortal affairs of the heart as a bard, how much of an expert he should be by now.
Ah~ah, how ironic it is to find himself stuck in this rut.
Even as Barbatos, his experience as an Archon obviously did not prepare him for this. It is unfair how Morax seemed to take engaging in a vague relationship with Whipped Mora Bag all well into stride. To think, that old dragon's the type to list out all the conditions and the clauses an ongoing relationship entails before committing to it… It truly is unfair.
He knows he and Xiao can talk about it, but he finds the task daunting, especially when his conversation partner isn't on the same page as him. The Adeptus is surely unfamiliar with the intricacies of mortal relationship stages and would find it inapplicable to beings like themselves.
It was hard to toe a line that isn't defined at all.
Venti grimaces, convincing himself it was brought upon the sight of the pile of cosmetics on the table, and not his internal turmoil.
That's right—Kaeya is clearly enjoying his suffering to the point of shoving this pile onto him on his debut night as the resident barmaid of Angel's Share.
Something to help with his newfound career, he says. A show of moral support, he says.
Yet the pile is mostly composed of used make up accessories the Cavalry Captain was most likely eager to pawn off from all the girls trying to 'subtly' flirt back at him. Did that pirate wannabe really think he'd put on used lipstick?
Venti may have lived a good portion of his life in the wilderness, but he'd rather keep it as sanitary as he possibly could in those situations, thank you very much.
Luckily, the only ones Venti himself was considering using looked untouched, brand new. He gently dabs some light powder on his face and dusts some pink on his cheeks—nothing too excessive, just enough to look fresh before an eager audience.
The eye shadow does make his mind wander to a bordering nation. He knows the cosmetics his Yaksha uses are much, much different, but the shade of this red was too uncannily similar that staring at it has become part of his makeup routine.
Satisfied with what his reflection has to offer, he puts on one last garment—his diamond patterned stockings. Yes, he knows this isn't traditional and he might be cheating in a way, but it helps him feel covered enough, especially when the patrons aren't all upstanding citizens.
At the end of the day, the City of Freedom is the home of all sorts of folks.
•○●○• ◇ •○●○•
The bell on the tavern door signals the arrival of new patrons.
"Hey, Charles~ We heard you needed some help with those tax forms again!" Paimon happily zooms in toward the bar counter once the door of the tavern was opened for her. It wasn't a moment later that she lets out a scandalized gasp.
The Traveler is still by the door since she was greeting Patton. She then looks straight ahead to the bar counter to address Charles.
"We'd be happy to help again..." Lumine begins casually until words die in her mouth, her eyes slightly widening as her mind processes the sight before her—particularly the sight of a familiar former Archon in not-so-familiar clothing.
Ah, so this is why Paimon gasped.
"Venti?!" Paimon exclaims, zooming close to him with no care for his personal space.
"Oh hey, if it isn't Emergency Food—" Venti looks past the floating mascot and spots her companion. "—and the Traveler! What brings you here?"
"Paimon's not Emergency Food, you Tone-Deaf—" Paimon pauses and tilts her head. "Wait, you're still a bard, right?"
"Yup, I sure am! Ain't that right, fellas?" The bard hollers to the patrons in the dining hall, to which he receives a unison of agreement. There are a couple of promises made about treating him to some rounds of cider for a song or two mixed in. He chuckles as he gestures to his outfit before giving his friends a little twirl. "Oh this? This is just the uniform for my current part-time job."
"Wait," Paimon cups her chin as she bobs up and down for a more thorough inspection. "So you're like a waitress–um–waiter now?"
"Hm, Pretty much. Hey Traveler, you've gone silent there for a—" Venti turns his attention to the Lumine, squinting and covering his eyes when a sudden burst of light greets him. "Woah!"
Click!
"Darn it, Venti! Hold still!" Lumine barks out before repositioning the Kamera in front of her face and muttering: "If that wasn't a blurred shot, then you've probably messed it up by covering your face."
"Uh, what are you doing?" Venti looks at her with droopy eyelids and a tight smile—a look that screams 'what are you up to this time'.
"I'm taking your photograph."
"And for what purpose, may I ask?" Venti raises a brow with his arms crossed. If she and Paimon are going to set up a money-making scheme with his photographs, it is only fair that he receive a cut in the profits. "I believe you've come to fulfil a different task."
"For Xiao to see, of course!" Lumine puts down the Kamera for a moment to scoff at him. "You're dressed in something cute and you're not going to let your boyfriend see it? Unbelievable."
"Oh yeaaaah, he's stuck with dealing with all those monsters in Liyue, huh?"
"Bo-boyfriend?!" Venti sputters, his eyes darting around. "Aren't you a little misguided, my friend?"
He catches sight of some of the patrons pausing in the middle of eating and those who were hacking from choking on their drinks upon processing the Traveler's words. Assuming that he has given the title of an 'idol', in the same vein that Barbara is considered, the news—or rather, the start of rumors—would come as a shock to his admirers. He looks at Charles who gave him a look that says 'wrap it up before I come back to deal with the situation'.
The bard-slash-barmaid just hopes he isn't going to be covering anyone's medical bills because of this. He gives a curt nod before turning back to the travelling duo.
Venti could see the long suffering in their eyes. It makes him gulp.
"What, aren't you two…" Lumine's hand gesticulates, hoping she doesn't have to finish her sentence. The stares from the dining hall were getting unnerving. "You know… like that?"
Maybe she shouldn't have blurted the word 'boyfriend' in front of so many people that she is realizing were there because of Venti.
"Not again!" Paimon groans as she pulls on her hair. "Paimon's just had it with these blockheads! Are all Ar—?"
Lumine's hand flies to Paimon's mouth like metal to a magnet. There's no need to give the people more reason to glare at them.
"So... you two aren't off to sell the photographs off to make some quick cash?" Venti asks as he plays with one of his braids. He hopes these two's greed can work as a distraction. "I'd say, the moment you put them up for sale, they'll be gone in a flash!"
"What are—" Lumine starts but then is cut off by an energized Paimon who broke free from her grasp.
"That's a great idea!" The fairy pipes in.
"I mean, I am willing to serve as a model, as long as my cut's a good sixty out of a sixty-forty." Venti smirks at the fairy whose face scrunches up.
"At least make it a 50-50, you stingy Tone-Deaf Bard!" Paimon places her hands on her hips and leans toward him.
"That's enough," Lumine tugs Paimon back by the collar of her outfit and gives her a light head chop. "This is not what we came here for."
"Oh right, tax forms and Hilichurls," Paimon mutters as she tends to the spot she got hit on. "But Paimon thinks it's a great business opportunity!"
"We can talk about that later. First, go get the details from Charles."
"Oh, okay, okay." Paimon sulkily heads over to where Charles is.
Lumine turns her attention to the unusually silent bard.
"I think you already know that talking is key here, right?" Lumine asks, gently as she positions the Kamera back on her face. "Oh, and I think he misses you, even if he doesn't quite understand it yet. It's kinda cute seeing him whip his head around from time to time, looking for something whenever we stop by a resting area with a wind chime somewhere."
"Is that so?" Venti giggles and winks at her.
"Don't play dumb with me." She says and takes a shot. "Stop fooling around and go back to him. I don't think he'll understand that you're playing hard-to-get, or some sort of chase, or whatever it is you're planning."
"But I'm always the 'it'..." He grumbles as he looks away.
"What was that?"
"Nothing, I just said you're rude!" He places his hands on his hips and furrows his brows slightly. "Here I am being the responsible adult that I am and paying for the debt I owe, and I get an earful from you when you don't even know the whole story? Rude, much!"
Venti blows a raspberry towards the Traveler, but the blonde seems unphased who responds by taking another shot.
"But why are you dressed like that?" Lumine tilts her head in confusion. She doesn't remember the other waitstaff needing to dress the way Venti does. She tucks her Kamera into her travel bag, sensing a long story session up ahead.
"It was a compromise."
"Master Diluc…" The Traveler's brows furrow a little; she isn't thoroughly convinced. "He proposed this as a compromise?"
"No, it was Kaeya. Well not specifically, but oh, nevermind that!" Venti scratches his head, not in the mood to relay the happenings of that night, so he tries to steer the conversation elsewhere. "I finally saw the photo you mailed to me. How'd you pull that off?"
Lumine beams at that. Feeling proud of herself, she starts with a nonchalant chuckle.
"So you see…"
Sadly, the Traveler knows her time is up when Paimon comes up to her with higher spirits. No, more like drunk with spirits.
"Lumi~ne, I got the—hic—details!"
"Paimon, did you steal a sip from the patrons' glasses when they're not looking?"
"They looked like—hic—colorful juices so… oh, oh, and they—hic—said it was fiiiine~"
Lumine has one hand in hip and the other pinching the bridge of her nose. A night time rush job involving Hilichurl extermination with a drunk Paimon sounds like a cocktail for disaster.
She takes a breath and points to her currently inebriated guide who was tottering around.
"You, stay out of sight while I deal with the Hilichurls."
"Aye, aye, ma'am…" Paimon salutes before she disappears into thin air.
Lumine turns to the bard, who is silently chuckling at the turn of events.
There is truly no rest for the weary Traveler.
"And you, we're not done with that talk." She wags her finger at him.
"Yes, ma'am!" He salutes as he watches her withdraw her hand and head towards the exit. "Safe travels, my friend!"
•○●○• ◇ •○●○•
The night wore on, with more people coming in to fill seats inside the tavern than those that went to leave.
Six-Fingered Jose was playing a light tune. Typically, Venti would join him, but he has his hands full at the moment.
"Alright, here we are. A glass of Dandelion wine, a Satisfying Salad, one Radish Ball Skewer, and a Northern Apple Stew for Bruce, and for Adventurers' Guild Branch Master Cyrus, a glass of Dandelion Wine, two Chicken-Mushroom Skewers, Flaming Red Bolognese, and a small Mushroom Pizza." Venti lays each dish in beat with each food order that leaves his mouth. When he finishes, he takes the tray up to his chest and puts on an easy smile. "Could I get you two anything else?"
"Thanks, Venti! Full house tonight, huh? Don't push yourself too hard."
"It can't be helped with a festival in full swing after all," the resident barmaid giggles as he scratches the back of his head. "And we're down with one staff member."
"Thank you for your hard work. We're fine for now. We'll flag you down when it's time for a refill."
"Glad to be—" Venti's hand immediately shoots behind him, gripping at an offending hand, dangerously close to his butt, so hard that its owner from the adjacent table cries in pain. "—of service!"
Ah, this again. This is the biggest problem that he faces on an almost daily basis while Working in Angel's Share—perverted patrons who are not content with just staring. And usually, they aren't even regulars.
"Now, now, Janssen, Angel's share is not that kind of establishment."
The entirety of the first floor goes quiet. Eyes are now on them, most of them are glares directed at the caught offender.
"Wa-wait, ho-how do you know my name?!" The man, who is apparently named Janssen, stutters in cold sweat.
The crowd begins their boo-ing and cries of disbelief towards the offender. Everyone knows no one is allowed to touch the barmaid. But degenerates never believe; they never learn.
"Hm, just a bard's intuition at work." Venti shrugs and pulls the man up from his seat. "But if you're not for our fine wine, find some other place to lurk!"
They tell the offender to get lost and never come back unless they learn the rules.
"We've got a line of paying customers waiting to get inside, and you hog up the seat without ordering anything? Shame on you."
Venti leads him to the door and releases his grip on the poor hand after he is shoved out the door. The crowd begins their cheering at the way their Angel is taking out the trash.
Another name ends up on the list Charles is going to give the Knights in the morning. So far, this 'Janssen' is at the top of the list tonight.
Master Diluc wants to provide a safe environment for his employees; he hates the idea of leaving the rounding up and meting out punishment to the Knights, but there is no other way to go about it. The names of the Sexual Harassment offenders will be forwarded to the Knights in the morning the very next day and they and the Church will deal with the punishments and reformation strategies.
Venti dusts off his hands after a job well done.
"Thank you, thank you! I appreciate your enthusiastic participation." He bows in front of his audience as if he had just finished performing in a play. It probably wasn't too far from one as this sort of performance happens so often it had been dubbed as 'The Walk of Shame'. "Now, if you would excuse me, this bard needs to help with the food preparation!"
Venti goes off to the kitchen to check on orders that haven't been taken out to the customers yet. He finds no plates of food lined up just yet, and decides to hang around.
The food preparation was a lie. He already helped out on that front earlier. He just needs a little break. He eyes a cask of Dandelion Wine sitting at the corner and is very much tempted to get himself a glass. Or twenty.
Sevens, if he was going to be touched, why can't it be by Xiao's hands? It's embarrassing how much he craves it.
"Another 'Walk of Shame' happened, Venti?" One of the cooks, Jacob, chuckles. "How many does that make for this week?"
Venti exaggeratedly sighs and leans onto the wall beside the counter where the finished food comes out.
"Four," he mumbles bitterly. Maybe he can sneak a glass.
"Oh my," the other cook, Laila, gasps and giggles. "Though, I must say, you're quite the eye candy, sweetie. I almost can't blame them wanting a taste."
Venti's expression sours at the comment.
"Oh, don't you look at me like that! It was a complement. And don't get me wrong, they crossed the line, I know." Laila complains, rolling her eyes, as she places two bowls of Satisfying Salad in the counter. "It's just… sometimes, people take the courage to reach out towards the unreachable, thinking they may just make it, even if barely."
Jacob snorts and chortles away as he flips over the steaks on the grill for an order of 'Pile 'Em Up'.
"Come off it! You know I didn't mean that literally!" Laila nudges her fellow cook by the elbow.
She turns to Venti and places her hands on the counter as she leans closer to him.
"But you do get what I mean, right?"
The bard sighs. He does—he does get what she means, painfully so.
"Tell you what, sugar, I'll let you get another glass of Dandelion Wine when I make you the staff dinner." She winks at him and taps his nose before working on the next order. "Just don't tell Charles."
"I'll hold you to that!" Venti could feel a smile tug at his lips. "Thanks."
"Don't mention it."
The door opens quite suddenly to a frazzled looking wait staff member, Lottie, who immediately stalks up to her coworker.
"Venti! Get out there and take the patrons' orders! You know I can't handle both the inside and the outside tables! I can't believe Thea went and got sick over doing too much Floral Freefall in Falcon Coast! Ugh!" Lottie says her piece before quickly going back out. "And go get those salads out on your way out!"
Venti scratched his cheek, feeling guilty for wanting to stay in the kitchen for a bit longer. But he thinks about how Xiao would probably huff, cross his arms and scold him for being so unmotivated to go back to work, when it was his fault for needing to stay there for so long in the first place.
It makes him wonder. Could the Yaksha hear him all the way here?
"Xiao..." Venti whispers in a hush, for the first time since he left Liyue, just before he opens the door back to the service area. "My kind workaholic knight, I wonder if I'll be able to see you tonight?"
—○ ● ○ ◇◇◇ ○ ● ○ —
FOOTNOTES:
[11] The former would have him exaggerate the motions of scrubbing to look like he's putting his back into it (or he would get scolded), while the latter has him grumbling about getting inefficient tasks done faster.
Wouldn't collectively tossing them into the air and have them exiting (read: thrown) through the door one by one with some Anemo power be quicker?
Having to haul them out himself physically, one by one, and gently at that, was simply too tedious a task. He could already hear the snicker coming from Diluc once he saw the spectacle himself. He's most likely trying to teach him a lesson on the 'burdens of taking care of drunkards'.
It's somewhat working, but not to the extent he'd completely quit drinking until he's inebriated.
[12] This is a reference to Omake/Extra 2 of the parent story "Ruin Guards are so Hard to Photograph!".
Of course, Venti got sent one as well!
The photograph described is based on Mihoyo's released wallpapers on some actual shots of real to life places that some in-game take inspiration from.
img . republicworld republic-prod / stories / promolarge / hdpi / pkwmgunbyrjxyceo _ 1613115902 . jpeg
[13] Of course, Childe gets the Ruin Guard photo that has the very 'right-in-your-face' vibe to it, while Venti gets the subtle one with a 'you-can't-unsee-it-once-you've-seen-it' vibe.
At least the Traveler knows Venti has the upper hand when it comes to intellect, compared to Whipped Mora Bag.
[14] "Welcome home, Xiao, how was the patrol?"
"It went well. Isn't it a little too cold, you should—"
Xiao turns around to see an empty tea table, and closes his mouth. He remembers that Venti had gone off to Mondstadt for some unfinished business he had with some bigshot wine tycoon.
His mind was playing tricks on him.
The Yaksha huffs, crossing his arms. He grumbles about turning into an idiot because of a certain obnoxious bard. He wasn't lonely. The very thought was absurd; it hasn't even been a day.
He looks up to the sky to admire the moon. It was full and it shone brightly, unobscured by clouds.
On nights like this, he used to offer a short, reverent prayer of gratitude to that being who had saved him as he struggled to regain his sense of self amongst the many reeds of Dihua Marsh.
But now, instead of prayers, his thoughts are filled with flashes of the little moments he spent with a coarse, rambunctious, drunkard who just happens to share the same identity with his 'savior'. So much so, he begins hearing a song in his mind. He closes his eyes, savoring each note that came from a lyre.
Yet… his memory, as he believes, is not so sharp as to remember songs he had only heard once. He opens his eyes once more and hears the song play just as clearly.
The gentle caress of the wind on his cheek told him that it wasn't his memory nor was the tune a figment of his imagination.
The Anemo God, in the form of a green-clad bard, was truly sending his affection through the wind, in the form of a little serenade.
Xiao's lips curl into a smile. That cheeky bard… he doesn't have the intent to leave him alone to have some peace and quiet, huh?
And it's just the first night.
[15] While Venti's EN VA did not exactly make a cover for this particular Sea Shanty, for the author's purposes, we will assume that Venti has performed "Drunken Sailor" at some point in a bar or tavern or in a drunken stupor as Xiao begrudgingly hauled him to Wangshu Inn or some other safe place to sober up.
"What do you do with a drunken sailor?
'What do you do with a drunken sailor?
"What do you do with a drunken sailor?, so early in the morning?
…
"Put 'im in a long boat til he's sober,
"Put 'im in a long boat til he's sober,
"Put 'im in a long boat til he's sober,
"So early in the morning."
[16] Upon arriving at Wangshu Inn and to Xiao's mortification, it was.
There, Venti lay sprawled on the bed of his bedroom [16.1], with his clothes messily discarded on the floor. He is writhing, clearly in pain as he tries to find release. The way he regards Xiao with tears at the corner of his eyes are enough to tell the Yaksha that the bard hasn't.
"Quit… gawking… ahhh," Venti scolds irritably, and then moans at the way his fingers hit that spot within him just right. "More helping… ngh… The heat… it burns. Damn those Whopperflowers."
"Bu-but," Xiao sputters as he finds himself rooted in place at the display before him. "What—How—?"
"Are you helping or not?" Venti grinds out with enough venom to make an Adeptus flinch. "If you aren't I'd… aaaahn, I'd prefer you get out!"
Xiao gulps drily. This is not how he expected to make use of his day.
[16.1] Xiao's assigned bedroom is one at the very top of the inn. There is no actual path for normal guests, or the inn personnel, to reach it.
For the author's convenience, we will assume this sealed off space to be big enough to fit a decent sized bed, a decent-sized night stand and a decent-sized drawer for clothes. We will assume that there are sliding wood-and-oil-coated-paper windows on each side. There isn't a door since there is no proper walkway for it. One could get in by swinging in from an open window.
[(Why does this all sound like Xiao's room is a nest of sorts?)]
[17] Venti has his own reasons for not immediately discarding or burning the perverted and outright creepy letters after reading them.
All letters dedicated to him are written as a way to freely express what they feel towards him. Who is he to trample upon those feelings?
(And the degenerates are surprisingly good scenario writers. He is just admiring the skill and effort they have put into their prose… [and is most definitely not using these as kindling for the imagination during those especially cold nights while replacing the self-insert writer with Xiao in those scenarios].)
[18] A straight to point TL;DR is as follows:
Right = In a Relationship
Left = Single
Middle = Virgin
Back = Widowed/Waitress
(The placements are from the wearer's POV)
You may refer to this, if you'd like to view the infographic:
www . alpenclassics . de / trachten-guide / the-dirndl . html
As promised, here, my attempt at making Sprite! Venti, ehe~
i . ibb . co / 4tY5ybP / 20210410-162402 . jpg
Original A/N:
I hope you had fun reading this~
I'm sorry if I went crazy on some things. ^^;
Again, feedback of all kind are welcome~
(Feel free to scream at me or reprimand me for anything here.)
I'm not sure when I can get Part 3 out... It depends on when my brain can get itself together. ^^;
[EDIT: Oh yeah, almost forgot... This is secretly a Windblume fic that even I didn't know at first XD But okay, I did kinds imagine Venti going to Liyue after Windblume Festival has ended. Since this takes place 1 year after... well, here we are]
Completely irrelevant stuff:
(Oh, and the Bard came on my 76th pull after Mona spook. So all's well that ends well. I did try pulling for Childe, but of course that didn't go well hahaha)
Oh, and I'm planning to make a tsumtsum ver of Venti and a small plush of his Sprite form. Will update if it the attempts are successful. (Hm, actually, I tried to draw what I had in mind for Venti's Dirndl, but I'll save your eyes from seeing my poor attempt at it. A friend says she's gonna try drawing it but /shrugs/ [but maybe if I use a nitotan body as a base, it'd look much better...])