Space and Time

I can't afford to watch you walk away

These games you play are bringing me down

If you could see, all of this sorrow in me

I've got to believe you'd stick around

If I'd known then what I know now

If I'd known then what I know now my love

"There's something else..." Brandon began as they sat in Dylan's car.

"Yeah?" Dylan responded

"He's not mine."

"How do you know?" Dylan asked

"Cameron... he was born a month early."

"You mean...?"

"Yeah." Brandon nodded

"So conception was..."

"November." Brandon answered

"Oh man..." Dylan stared out into nothing, "He could be my mine." Brandon pursed his lips

"...Listen" Dylan said eventually, "Here's the deal. We don't say anything to Bren or Val... not until we get the results."

"That's a good idea." Brandon nodded

Dylan struggled to sleep for days, waiting for the DNA test results. He thought about Cameron as he tossed and turned in bed. He realized it was hopeless to try and get some shuteye. He looked over to Brenda who was sound asleep. What would she think of all this information? He thought. He kissed her head gently before getting up.

Dylan sat on his porch, managing to resist the urge to drink. Instead he made himself a cup of coffee and basked in the warm breeze outside. But as beautiful as the weather was, he couldn't help but be consumed with worry and wonder. If Cameron is his kid, then Kelly had a lot of explaining to do.

As she was walking by, Kelly spotted Dylan coming out of the peach pit. This was the first time she saw him since he got out of rehab and since he drunkenly barged in her house a few weeks ago. He looked healthier. She was glad he had gone to rehab; she wasn't quite sure whether Jim and Cindy would have been able to convince him to go. Just as she was wondering whether or not to approach him, his gaze found hers.

Once they locked eyes, she could see the sorrow in his.

"Hi." She breathed out, walking toward him

"Hi." He replied

"How are you doing?" She asked, fiddling with the strap of her handbag

"I'm doing." He nodded

"Good. You look... better." She smiled softly

"Thanks." He sighed. He looked her up and down. How can you go from obsessive lovers to acting like strangers in the blink of an eye, he thought.

"Well, I gotta get going but... it's nice to have you back." She offered a faint smile. Her soulful eyes displayed it all for him. The sadness, the longing, the passion, the mess, the tragedy.

She turned on her heel, about to walk away until he finally spoke.

"You want to take a drive with me?" He asked. She turned to face him.

"Now?" She asked

"You don't have to." He assured

"...Okay." She nodded.

He opened the car door on the passenger side for her to enter.

"The Santa Anas are howling." She acknowledged as Dylan drove fast

"They've got a lot to say." Dylan smiled

"Don't we all." She paused to look at him. "Not you though... Everything rolls off your back."

"What gave it away, the charm bracelet?" He lifted up his arm.

"...Can't you talk to me about it?" She asked

"They sold the lessons, I bought 'em." Dylan summed up

"Well, I've never heard a recovery program described like that."

"Come on." He said once he parked the car by Paradise Cove. She didn't wonder why he took her there, she was just glad he felt like himself again.

"So..." He began as they sat on a blanket he pulled out from the trunk of his car. "How's Brandon?" His tone was a lot softer than it was the last time he asked that question.

"Good." She said softly

"You still seeing him?" He asked, without looking at her.

"Yeah..." She sighed, she looked at the ground, her fingers drawing lines in the sand

"...I'm not going to pretend it's easy." He began, "It's not. I had a lot of time to think in there..." She looked up at him, surprised he was opening up about rehab. "I realized a lot of my problems started right when I lost you..." He couldn't bear to look at her, she couldn't bear to look at him. The regret was palpable.

"It was no one's fault." She said eventually.

"Yeah..." He concluded before uttering the quote: "my fault, my failure, is not the passions I have, but in my lack of control of them." She looked up at him. "Jack Kerouac." He answered.

She nodded in agreement, "Guess we're all working on control. But at least you can borrow words from someone else, until you find your own."

"Or better yet" He leaned in, "Find someone who doesn't need you to say the words." He smiled at her, she smiled right back.

Dylan finally got the call he was waiting for. He parked his car once he had the envelope in his hand. He struggled to open it. He had spent days trying to keep his mind off of it, refusing to remember the past, Kelly, or any other pieces of his soul that he left in this town. But now the chickens had come home to roost, and an old passion haunted his life once again.

"Find someone who doesn't need you to say the words." He smiled at her, she smiled right back.

"...This is my favourite time of year." Kelly uttered, looking up as a shooting star flew by

"Yeah?" Dylan couldn't take his eyes off her, rubbing her back. It was nice seeing that sparkle in her eyes again.

"Once those winds are blowing it's almost as if everything else quietens down. You find peace in the little things."

"It's like you get a second chance." He murmured, causing her to turn to face him. She looked deeply into those Dylan McKay eyes. Those eyes had life in them again. She leaned forward and allowed her lips to softly brush his. His eyes studied hers, waiting for permission. Then without hesitation, she leaned forward once more. He returned the kiss, his arms wrapping around her to embrace her fully. Engulfed in the kiss, she reached up for him, pulling him down onto her. Captivated by the energy, he quickly slumped himself over her, stealing hungry kisses. As the intensity built up, he was fascinated by the feeling of her in his arms. Wanting to hold onto this feeling forever, they were both enamored with each other.

"Kel..." He whispered with a heavy breath, in the midst of the euphoria. She hummed in response. "Come home with me."

Dylan ripped open the envelope, desperate to know the results. As he unfolded the report and read it thoroughly, he let out a deep breath, one he felt he had been holding in for so long.

Knowing what he knew now, made it harder to block out the memories. His mind was taken back to that night. The night that haunted him recently as he made love to Brenda. The night that haunted him with the memory of the last time he and Kelly ever made love.

"Kel..." He whispered with a heavy breath, in the midst of the euphoria. She hummed in response. "Come home with me."

"Let's go." She replied. He pulled her up and grabbed the blanket. They head over to the car and raced back to his place. Holding her hand while his other was on the wheel, they both felt home, driving down the same familiar roads, caught up in their love affair.

Once they arrived, they passionately made out all the way to the front door. Slamming the door shut behind them, their lips remained locked as he attempted to throw his keys in the bowl beside the door, missing the shot. He didn't care, too busy locked in their embrace. She unbuttoned his shirt in between kisses and he pulled off her white cardigan letting it fall to the floor. They both kicked off their shoes on the way to the bedroom and continued to undress each other urgently. Their clothes leaving a trail on the floor behind them.

Once they were in his bed, naked and craving each other, their bodies entwined. They fiercely engulfed each other, their love making was an intense poem that made you need to catch your breath, an orchestra playing a symphony of longing moans and satisfactory inhalations. With a hungry touch, their hands gripped onto one another and their hips aligned.

The screams of terms of endearment, playful squeals, and dirty chuckles swirled around in his head once again. Remembering the night once again, to this day he could still remember what she felt like at the tip of his fingertips, how her hair felt against his cheek, and how much his whole body and soul ached for her, but nothing will ever be as hypnotizing as the feeling he felt when her body danced with his, skin on skin. Making love to her felt like getting everything he ever wanted.

He shook his head in frustration; he could no longer bear to rehash the memories. It was bad enough that his bed was a haunting reminder, especially now knowing that Cameron was conceived that very night.

"Hi!" Kelly was surprised to find him outside her door. He stared at her, a sharp gaze that made her realize this visit wasn't going to be a pleasant one.

"You're real good at keeping a secret." He folded his arms

"What?" She asked, bewildered

"I know, Kelly." He affirmed, "You know... I thought you choosing yourself was the worst thing... turns out the worst thing was you taking away any choice of mine."

"What the hell are you talking about?" She said, irritated. He handed her the DNA results. She stood there, frozen as she read the test.

"Hope you're happy with your choices." He sneered, "You chose you and now that's all you've got."

My life goes on slowly without you

I move through space and time

I feel the air heavy upon my skin

And wonder if I'll see you again

If I'd known then what I know now

If I'd known then what I know now my love

Space and Time - The Pierces