Wildness

Some people work things out and some just don't know how to change

Let's don't wait til the water runs dry

We might watch our whole lives pass us by

Let's don't wait til the water runs dry

We'll make the biggest mistake of our lives

Don't do it, baby

"It's funny... " She breathed out, holding onto the swing's chains "Guys like you get to do that - put yourself first. You're called bold and valiant... If I do that, I'm a whore."

"Kel..." Dylan groaned, closing his eyes.

"Do you realize what you just said to me?" She turned to face him, "You're married and you're still chasing a selfish high."

"That's not what I said." He let go of the chains.

"Sometimes I wonder if you actually acknowledge the pain you cause." She said, practically to herself. He shook his head in response.

"You've done stuff too." He drawled

"So is that why you chose her? Less pain?" She looked up at him again, he looked at the ground.

"Things were... simpler, yes."

She scoffed at his answer, and got up from the swing. She began pacing around. He went to sit on the picnic bench to be closer to her, and watched her. She hadn't said anything. She just continued to circle around aimlessly.

"The way we were. Have you seen it?" He finally spoke

"What?" She crinkled her forehead, almost irritated by him changing the subject

"The movie." He affirmed

"No." She said seemingly still irritated, shrugging.

"Robert Redford and Barbara Streisand." He began, "Their relationship is... complicated. He ends up marrying someone else. Someone simpler. No drama."

"What are you saying?" She turned to glare at him, spitting out "I'm too complicated?"

"I'm saying... it just got too... hard." He breathed out. She shook her head. She couldn't look at him right now. She ran her fingers through her hair, anxiously. He looked down at the floor again, hating the fact that he couldn't soothe her.

"Tell me, Dylan..." She finally spoke, "How's the writing going?"

"What?" He was surprised by the question.

"You're not writing. Do you know why?" She folded her arms

"I'm... working on it." He tried to shrug it off.

"You can't. Because your art and your simple, routine life don't mix." She insisted

"Kelly." He said sharply in a warning tone.

"You're the one who taught me to be daring, remember?" She continued, "Who said I define myself and no one can tell me who I am. And so together that's what we did. We set each other free. Without that spontaneity... the wildness in you isn't there. And without that, you can't write."

"You know what, I don't need this." He shook his head and began to walk off, until she spoke again. He stopped in his tracks at the sound of her voice, but he refused to turn back around.

"I get it, by the way." her voice was more soothing now "Trying to dim your own light to be good enough for someone else. I've definitely done that for a Walsh before - Brandon. ...And Brenda, well... She fell in love with your potential. I fell in love with your soul."

"Okay." Dylan turned back and headed towards her. "You want to know what happened?"

"I was in a rough spot, nursing a bad hangover when I took the train from Paris to London. I needed to get out of Paris - it wasn't working for me. So... when I got to London, all I did was sightsee. Walked around in Hyde Park in the early mornings. Then picked a day to see the London Eye, Tower and Bridge. And of course, the British museum. The days were fantastic, but the nights... The nights I'd get drunk at the nearest pub, only to head to my hotel room and continue to get wasted - sometimes with a girl, sometimes alone. So, to sort myself out, I decided to change it up a little and go see a play... When looking at the options I saw one starring Brenda Walsh. When I tell you I was surprised, that was understatement. It's not that I didn't think she'd make it, it had just been so long... It just took me a while to put two and two together. So naturally I had to see the play.

She saw me in the audience, I think I stunned her. Took her a minute to remember her lines. I waved and then once the play was done, waited outside her dressing room to say hi. She agreed to go for coffee."

"Dylan McKay in London..." Brenda shook her head and smiled

"Here I am." He smirked, "I'm proud of you. You followed your dreams. You look great!"

"Thanks." Brenda smiled softly. "...How've you been?"

"Oh well you know." Dylan shrugged it off

"I do..." She replied. He looked up at her puzzled. "Brandon called me." She answered.

"Oh. Of course he did." Dylan chuckled

"So... Let's get straight to the point, shall we? What are you doing here?" She interrogated and he laughed

"Can't you let one slip by?" He whined

"Dylan." She urged

"I had to get out of there. I'm not going back. I realized maybe I'm more Europe than Beverly Hills."

"Why London?"

"Well... Shakespeare country... fish and chips... no blonde California girls." He joked and Brenda chuckled

As they continued to chit-chat, Brenda sussed out where he was staying and what he planned to do. His lonely days and nights with greasy food was hardly a healthy option. She encouraged him to stay at her place with home-cooked meals. He obliged.

"It went really well the first couple of weeks. We had a lot of fun... she showed me the hotspots and we explored the culture together. It hadn't been awkward at all. But one night, she was working late and I was trying to write and I couldn't. It was one of those dark moments that often overpowered me. I ended up getting drunk at the local pub, and stumbling home.

Brenda switched on the light as he stumbled into the apartment.

"Ohh." A smirking Dylan "You're up!"

"Dylan, it's 4 o'clock in the morning."

"Is it?" Dylan shrugged, stumbling into the living room all disheveled, and slumping himself on the couch.

"How much did you have to drink?" She folded her arms, standing in front of him.

"Only a little." He gestured with his hands, giddily. She was not impressed. "Hey!" He groaned, "Sit down for a sec. Have a little fun!" He pulled her towards him.

"Dylan. You're drunk." She hesitated, pulling away

"You..." He pointed at her, "Are an angel. Always there to rescue me." He pulled her towards him again.

"Ugh." She shook her head, pulling out of his embrace "Your breath... You need to sober up. I'll make you some coffee." She went off to the kitchen, he kicked off his shoes.

She arrived back moments later to find him fast asleep on the couch. She put the coffee down and covered him with a blanket.

"The next morning was a little awkward. I thought I should have moved out, but she kindly let me stay... She took care of me. She sent me to rehab, allowed me to stay, kept an eye on me. She was basically Cindy Walsh. " He chuckled.

"She then pushed me to write again. But I couldn't. Not since... well, you."

"I can't do it!" Dylan shoved his papers aside. Brenda hovered over him, sighing.

"Why not?" She asked

"I've got no inspiration." He groaned, slouching back on his chair.

"Then write about that." She insisted, joining him at the table.

"What?" He crinkled his forehead

"Write about why you have no inspiration."

"So I did. And finally one of my pieces got published. Rosebud... I ran home to tell Brenda the big news. I was so excited and I had a friend to share it with. She insisted we go out to dinner to celebrate. One thing led to another and... I kissed her. She hesitated at first, but I guess we enjoyed each other's company. But of course, after we made love, our living situation wasn't the same. She insisted that I didn't have to move out. But it was awkward. And then... she found out she was pregnant. I knew then, that it was my turn to take care of her." Dylan paused. Kelly remained silent, listening intently, trying to understand without taking it personally.

"When James was born..." Dylan continued, "I was a dad. I realized this was my son. I got a chance to be the father that I needed. Instantly, I fell in love with him. And when I looked in his eyes, I saw Brenda. How can I not fall in love with the woman who shares my son's eyes?"

"Okay..." She said quietly, fighting back tears

"Now that's a different love, yes. But it's real."

"Okay. You love her... and she loves you" Kelly murmured

"Yeah." He nodded, he then turned on his heel to head back to his car. But he stopped in his tracks once more, turned to take one last look at her, and uttered "But I don't think I'll ever love anyone the way I love you."

Pamela strolled along the beach, feeling lost since her last conversation with James. As she walked by, she spotted a familiar face.

"Hey!" She exclaimed as she walked over to him. "Shouldn't you be on a plane?"

"My dad's traveling tomorrow." Thomas said while sitting in the sand. "I'm not going."

"Why not?" She asked, joining him on the sand.

"Well... it turns out I have a bit of a discipline problem." He mocked, "Lending out my car so you two can sneak around, smoking, gambling... I forget the rest." He shrugged

"Oh... I'm sorry." Pamela said apologetically.

"Don't be. My dad is probably thrilled to catch me in the act." He scoffed

"Still taking away your vacation seems a little harsh" Pamela protested

"He knows how close I am to my grandparents. He wanted to hit me where it hurts, you know 'Get through to me.' "

"So why don't you just behave? Ditch the cigarettes, and do what he wants." Pamela reasoned

"Yeah... But then who could he share all that sanctimonious talk with?" He joked and she laughed

"Well, if it's any consolation, James hasn't called. Last time we spoke, he suggested we get some distance."

"He'll come around. He loves you." Thomas assured

"I know but... I don't know. I don't know if he'll ever get past -"

"-Sharing a sibling?" Thomas interjected

"...Yeah." Pamela sighed.

"Well, kid. If he doesn't, he's an idiot." He rubbed her knee in comfort. "Either way, it shouldn't stop you from enjoying the summer before your senior year."

"Yeah... you're right." Pamela offered a faint smile. She was about to get up and head into her cabana, but then turned back to face him "Hey..." She said and he looked up. "If you need a friend... don't be a stranger." She smiled at him and he smiled back.

Now they can see the tears in our eyes

But we deny the pain that lies deep in our hearts

Well maybe that's a pain we can't hide

'Cause everybody knows that we're both torn apart

Why do we hurt each other?

Why do we push love away?

Water runs dry - Boyz II Men