AN: Guest: Keep the reviews coming :D

Jonna: Love your in-depth reviews! :D "Not the time and the place kiddo."-Haha, yes! -I figured it's about time Brandon had his sister's back a little :D and yess no can read what's going on in Dylan's head lol Dylan opens up a little in this chapter but not completely yet :D

Bottle It Up

Babe, I know that it's your soul, but could you bottle it up?
And get down to the heart of it
No, it's my heart
You're shit out of your luck
Don't make me tell you again, my love

You're only gonna get what you give away.

Brenda and Dylan sat at the kitchen table, struggling with where to begin.

"Do you realize we are sitting in the same place, talking about the same people, except this time we can't even pretend it doesn't mean anything." Brenda finally breathed out. Dylan slouched on the chair, his eyes glued to the table.

"We can't keep skirting around each other... We have to face this. You and I promised we'd always be honest with each other... And you've been lying for weeks." Brenda huffed.

Dylan nodded slowly.

"I know." He whispered.

"And you never say anything." Brenda shook her head, starting to get annoyed at the thought. "I don't know what's going on with you, Dylan. Do you know what's going on with you? Because I can't do this anymore. You always bottle it all up, and one way or another, it comes bursting out in the worst of ways."

Dylan sighed in response. He felt a lot of sympathy, and a lot of guilt.

Brenda now turned to him, urging him with a stern look to finally speak up.

He sighed again before finally looking into her eyes.

"...I wanted this to work." He began, his voice still barely audible. "What better way to ensure my kid gets a better childhood than I had, what better way to become the father I never had, than to raise him with the woman who saved my childhood." He shrugged as he once again looked down at the table, picking at the wood.

"But." She added. He knew he couldn't get one past her.

"But... " He repeated. "...It was easier to block everything out in London and move forward. Being here... started to haunt me... and bring all that stuff back."

"What stuff?" She probed.

"Memories... " Dylan looked up again with another shrug. "Of guilt, shame... The mess I left behind... What I missed."

"In other words... Kelly." She concluded.

He pursed his lips.

"I can't talk to you about this, Bren." He shook his head.

"Well, you're gonna have to."

"It's gonna come out wrong." He whined, visibly becoming restless. "I'm not good at expressing myself-" He always articulated himself better in writing. In person, he needed someone to understand what he wasn't saying rather than what he was.

Brenda was having none of it. Her eyes remained firmly on him.

He exhaled, letting out a slow, fierce breath, and shaking his right leg anxiously.

He then stopped, and after a beat he leaned forward.

"I... uh. I love the life that we made. I've always wanted a family like this." He paused, resting his back against the chair again, his eyes returned to the wooden table he had picked with his fingers. "I just felt something was missing. And when I'm around her, it's like the missing piece is added to the puzzle... "

Brenda remained silent.

Dylan pondered on that thought before uttering: "When you live without something long enough, you think you don't need it anymore. Until you see it again."

Brenda inhaled slowly. "Do you want to be with her?" She asked flatly.

"I don't know if it'll ever work out." Dylan shook his head, "It just seems to go wrong for us and -"

"-Answer the question, Dylan." She interrupted.

"Bren-" He hesitated

"Do you want to be with her?" She repeated, bluntly.

Her eyes locked with his.

Dylan pursed his lips once more before looking at the ground again.

He clicked his tongue, and let out another deep breath.

"...I always will." He drawled, foolishly.

Brenda stood up, about to head into the bedroom. Dylan got up shortly after.

"I'll leave you the house... " He called over. She turned around to face him again. "Anything you want." He insisted

"So you want to leave?" Brenda folded her arms.

Dylan slowly nodded sheepishly.

Brenda let out a sigh.

"...I was coming home to tell you I'm leaving you." She paused. "I'm glad you said it first... I wouldn't have been able to."

He looked into her eyes and tilted his head to one side.

"Come here." He said warmly.

He hugged her tightly.

"I don't want to lose my family." He whispered

"You won't." She assured. He kissed her forehead.

When they broke apart, she made her way to the bedroom. Before entering, she turned to face him once more. "You can keep your house. You need a safe space."

They both exchanged faint, yet heartfelt smiles.

Brenda had gone to bed. Dylan remained on the couch, writing something when James arrived home.

"Hey Jim. Had fun?" He called out.

James was silent as he dropped his keys in the bowl beside the door.

He finally stood before his father.

"Tell me what's going on." He blurted out.

Dylan looked up at him, puzzled.

"What do you mean?" Dylan asked, nonchalantly.

"I'm not stupid. I know it's been extra quiet around here." He exhaled. "What's going on between you and Pam's mum?"

"Nothing." Dylan murmured

"Not according to Pam." James stated sharply

"Pam doesn't know what she's talking about." Dylan let out a breathy groan.

"Oh yeah? Well, she said she came home to find you coming out of her mother's bedroom!" James snapped

"She needed some help. I was a friend." Dylan kept his voice low.

"What kind of help did your ex need, dad?!"

"...Did you do something tonight with Pam?" Dylan cocked an eyebrow

"No." James seemed puzzled by the question.

"Hmm... guess you can be friends with an ex then, huh?" Dylan advocated before getting up and heading to bed himself.

Dylan crawled into bed. Once he was behind her, Brenda awoke, surprised he was in here.

"You don't mind, do you?" He asked

"No." She whispered. He wrapped his arm around her, and she held onto it. And they fell asleep.

The next morning. Pamela caught Thomas pulling up his car in the parking lot at school.

She ran over, trying to get there before he got out and head off.

"Tommy, wait!" She called.

"Hey." He said, closing the car door behind him.

"Listen." She struggled. "About last night..."

"It's okay." He tried to shrug it off with a flail of his hand.

"No, it's not." She interjected, looking into his eyes. He eventually looked into hers. "...I had no idea you would come over and say the things you said... And James-"

"-James is great." He cut her off. "...He's the best."

She huffed slightly in response, longingly hoping for some resolution.

He let out a shrug before uttering: "Look, it's no big deal, Pam." He tried to cover his emotions with a chuckle. "It wasn't gonna work either way."

He walked off, leaving her there. She looked on.

"Should I not have told you?" Steve said once he and Brandon were on their lunch break at the Peach Pit.

"No, you should have. I just... heard more than I wanted to." Brandon groaned.

"Same here." Steve replied between mouthfuls.

"Rough night?" Brandon looked at him.

"Was with Kelly." Steve explained

"Ah." Brandon nodded. "So you know something's going on with them again."

"Sorta." It was now Steve's turn to groan. "...Doesn't make sense, does it? How strong is a feeling when it's shelved for 18 years but bounces back like nothing happened. After 18 years!"

Brandon seemed lost in thought. "...You know Dylan once told me that he and Kelly had a connection that I would never understand... Maybe he was right."

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Kelly smiled as she opened her front door.

"Can't a guy come see his big sister?" David grinned. He closed the door behind him. "Donna filled me in." He explained.

"Oh she did?" Kelly murmured

"Why didn't you?" David asked softly, "Kel, I'm your brother. We told each other everything when we were living together. You were the first person I told my drug problem to... Why didn't you feel you could come to me?"

Kelly sighed. "I was ashamed..." She hesitantly breathed out as she made her way to the living room.

"You've got nothing to be ashamed of." David assured, joining her on the couch.

"You don't think I'm weak?" She looked up at him.

"No. You're the strongest woman I know. But..." David paused, giving her knee a little squeeze.

"You're always holding it in." He continued. "...I know what you went through when Dylan left. I remember how hard it was for you. But I watched you laugh again, your wedding day, the day you held Pammy in your arms for the first time. I saw you happy again. You always look like you're having fun. Like everything's just fine."

"It's not so easy anymore." She mumbled

"I could end the contract with Dylan if it's too hard." He observed her.

"No." She shook her head, "No don't do that."

"You haven't left the house." David stated firmly. "Kel, don't beat yourself up about it. You'll get over him. You've got us."

"Thanks." She said sheepishly. If only it were all that simple, she thought. So much has happened to her this past week.

"Come to After Dark this weekend." He insisted. "We got a live band."

"I don't think so." She said stiffly.

"I'll set up a quiet corner booth. Just you, Donna, Steve, Janet, and the kids. The family." He assured. "Please? Come out with us."

Kelly hesitated before letting out a breathy sigh. "Okay." She forced a smile.

"What's... happening?" James studied the room when he got home from school to find his parents calling him to the dining table.

"Jimmy, why don't you sit down." Brenda softly encouraged

"Why?" James asked defiantly.

"Your mother and I wanna talk to you." Dylan explained.

Started as a flicker meant to be a flame
Skin has gotten thicker, but it burns the same

You meant to make me happy, make me sad
Want to make it better, better so bad
But save your resolutions for your never new year
There is only one solution I can see here