"What happened? I thought that you weren't coming?" It's hot out this bitch. The perspiration beads sliding down my neck irritates me to my soul. Fanning myself only serves to intensify the heat. I wasn't going to attend the family reunion but decided at the last minute to go. Accepting the bottled water from my sister, I take it straight to the head. "Thirsty much?" She inquires, watching me with my head held back as I empty the bottle.

It's bliss, as I take a few deep breaths after. The cold water's satisfying and cools my body and irritable temper. "Well, daddy's not coming, and momma's on the phone cursing him out in her bedroom." The reason why I've missed five years of family reunions. Don't nobody like each other, and yet they all show up and show out. "I'm not going to stay for long," I state, pressing the cold bottle to my neck.

"Well, if momma has any say, you're going to be here for a minute."

"Nope, I'm out of here in another thirty minutes."

"Lia… you flew all the way from Virginia."

"Yep, and I'm about to fly all the way back."

"Momma!"

Aww… shit. Watching her march her skinny ass back to the house, I gather another bottle of water and make a fast getaway. I'm literally two speeds under from a full sprint. Saying a quick hi, and hello to kinfolks as I pass them, I wave and fake smile. I'm almost to my car when I hear my sister and momma calling for me. Turning to give them a victory goodbye wave and smile, I run right into something solid.

The hit sends me back a few steps, and an arm around my waist protects me from a severe fall. I'm pulled back to safety, and my hand comes to rest on a solid chest. The chest seems to stretch upwards for miles when my eyes finally come to rest on the face attached to it. I'm standing there gaping at him. So wide-eyed, I must look like a damn fool!

"Are you okay?" His deep voice brings me from my stupor. The man is a Kwame Brown doppelganger—from the locs to those sexy brown eyes and lips. Removing myself from his arms, I become self-conscious of my hair and clothing. Clad in shorts and a crop top, I lightly finger my hair and discreetly pull the hem of my shorts down. "Yeah, I'm sorry that I didn't see you," I state, trying to keep my nerves in check. "Lia? Damn, it's been so long!"

"Derek!" I state, hugging my cousin tightly. The stranger is temporarily put on hold. It's been more than a decade since we've seen each other. "What's good?" He inquires.

"Nothing much, just working."

"No kids yet?"

"Hell no, and how about you?"

"Just the one."

A dark-brown-skinned female with a head full of bundles, ten layers of makeup, long aquamarine Freddy Krueger nails, and baby blue eyes joins us with a small child. Again, that "female gremlin" comes to mind. Derek never seems to attract any decent-looking women. "Who is this?" She inquires, with a roll of her head and a snarky tone. "Baby, this is Lia, my cousin." The child's hand is released, and he's pushed behind and away from her. "Mmm-hmm… Another motherfucking cousin, huh?"

"Baby's" gaze slowly wanders over my frame from head to toe and comes back to rest on my face. Her expression and stance say it all, the bitch is ready to box. Fortunately for her, that I don't have time for the bullshit today. It's too damn hot, and I'm too old to be rolling around on the ground with anyone. "Derek, it was nice seeing you."

"You leaving?"

"The bitch better run." Says, Baby."

"Who you calling a bitch?" Were the words that formed in my head but actually came from out of my sister's mouth. "This raggedy ass bitch, and whoever else asking!" A rubber band is produced, and the ass-length bundles are up in a bun with lightning speed. A fist flies past my shoulder and connects with Baby's face—and that was all she wrote!

It's a WWE match as my sis is on her like white on rice! "Beat her ass, Tia!" That's our momma—the epitome of ghetto. "Tia, let her go!" I scream as Derek has intervened and is trying to detach Baby's hair from Tia's clutches. "No, the bitch gone learn today!" Tia yells before she snatches Baby bald with one hard "Mighty Joe Young" pull!

"Let me go, D!" Screams Baby. The hair is tossed behind Tia as she triumphantly walks away. "What the fuck, yo!" Derek's trying to keep the hairless Baby from attacking. "What I told you about bringing these dumb ass females to my house!"

"I'm sorry, auntie. Damn!"

"Get her out of here before I whoop her ass too!" Momma warns as she heads back to the house with Tia in tow. "Yo, I'm sorry, man." Derek apologizes to the stranger who has their child in his arms. In all the chaos, I'd forgotten about him. "It's nothing. I'll catch up with you later." He replies.

"Lia, get in here! We need to talk before you leave!" Yells momma from the porch. Ignoring her, I'm listening intently to the conversation between my cousin and the stranger. Derek's helped Baby into the car and is securing their child in the car seat. "How long are you going to be in town?"

"I'm heading back down in a few days."

An out-of-towner and a gorgeous ass god! Please don't be related to me! "Derek, I'm so sorry about all of this," I interject. Shaking his head, Derek releases an agitated breath. "It's Tia's crazy-ass fault." He states. There he goes blaming my sister when his de la ghetto ass woman's foul mouth caused the fight. "I'm sorry that you and your friend have to leave so soon."

"Nah, it's okay. There's bound to be four more fights today. You know how wild our family reunions can get. It best to leave now."

"Let me give "you all" my number, and we can "all" chill later. I was going to catch a flight out, but I want to spend some time with my fave cousin before I go."

"All right, I hear you." Derek says with a chuckle. Passing me his phone, I input my number and send a text to myself. "Lia, this is my friend K and K, this is my cousin Lia."

"Hello." Says K.

"I can't get a name? All I get is a letter?" I have no shame.

"Kwame."

Stop and rewind!

"I'm sorry?" I question.

"Kwame."

I know that this can't be right! "Kwame… Brown?" I ask delicately.

"The one and only." He replies with a sexy smirk.

Cue the high pitch scream! "I'll catch you later, K, Lia." Derek's gone, speeding off, and I'm left with the man of my fantasies. Okay. "Well, I hope that I get to see you tonight." I'm going to fuck the grits out of his country ass!

"You might."

I'll accept that. Hell, I have no choice. He's Kwame motherfucking Brown.