Sanji wasn't surprised when Zoro didn't show up to school the next day or the next, or the rest of the week. If he were in Zoro's position he wouldn't either. He's glad the marimo didn't. What the others had planned next was bad. All that time and effort that went into planning gone because Zoro didn't show up.
Sanji sat at his desk, he look over at Zoro's desk all the way across the room. He couldn't see it clearly but he saw something scribbled on it. Each day it got worse. One word there, then another, next it's a whole sentence or a drawing and last it's just plain and simple 'go kill yourself' looked like a serial killer wrote it in blood.
He wasn't paying attention to what the teacher was saying, he was to focused on an after image of Zoro sitting there at his desk taking notes, waking Luffy up when class is about to end or taking a nap. Images he's seen when he tried to get Zoro to talk to him. Everything reminded him of Zoro for some reason, even though he didn't spent a lot of time with Zoro at school. He's spent the most time with Zoro at his place, in his room.
Zoro isn't a bad person, far from it. Yes, he can get kind of sadistic when he's beating the crap of assholes who deserve it but he's also nice and motherly to Chopper. Understanding like Luffy. Inventive like Usopp, hard working like anyone of them and he's not a bad cook, Sanji admits. Kind of curious on where he learned, or if he taught himself. Sanji doesn't understand how he can get treated the way he was when all he did was have sex. It's not wrong, he hasn't killed anyone, he didn't bully another person. He's not an asshole who beat the weak and tries to be something he's not, and he's never lied to anyone. He helps those who asks without seeking a reward and he tries to pay back what he's received twice over. How everything has gone is just wrong. Wrong. It is, so why has Sanji not visited him?
He thinks about the marimo almost everyday so why has he not gone to see him? Yes, Zoro is mad at him, yes Zoro ignored him but he had a good reason. Sanji understood that, he messed things up, he didn't lie to Zoro but he did do something wrong and Zoro paid for it. He video taped Zoro without consent, he's told Zoro that they are friends and what does he do? Nothing. Zoro's lunch box gets thrown out the window, what does he do? He watches from his seat. They all heard his stomach growl until he left school, he could have offered Zoro something, or tried harder. Zoro gets humiliated in front of the school and he just stares. Doesn't try to stop them or go after Zoro and offer him a towel or something. He's supposed to like him so why didn't he help?
And now he feels guilty. But it helps him understand that he was afraid. After the others learned that he knew they stopped talking to him just as much as Zoro. He also was afraid that if he showed that he was with Zoro he'd get treated the same way. He's ashamed of himself that he was more interested in not ruining his image than he was helping the person he likes.
That's not the only thing he's afraid off either. After he saw the writing 'go kill yourself' he had a horrible dream that night of Zoro actually doing it. Sanji going to Zoro's house and to see him cutting himself, Zoro's hands and lap covered in blood, blade in one hand. Zoro's face looked dead, no spark in his eyes, nothing in those onyx orbs. It was a nightmare, no questions asked, he woke up that night with sweat and his heart hurting, and he was crying.
That wasn't Zoro, not his Zoro at least. Zoro was strong mentally and physically. He wouldn't give in to suicide. Sanji has convinced himself of that but thinking about it again, more, it's possible that it could happen and that's what he's scared of the most. Finding Zoro in a way he doesn't want to, finding Zoro ending it all. And the cook knows that he'll feel more guilty, that he'll regret more than he already does. He'll start questioning himself, asking what if and start asking himself why he didn't do that instead. He'd start wishing he spent more time with Zoro.
He didn't want things to end but he just couldn't continue, afraid of what will happen if he does. Already he's in too deep with Zoro. He's become his friend, and he's fallen for the walking grass heap. They've had sex and he doesn't want that to be the last of it. He wants there to be more. He would like it if they could do it again but this time in a relationship. He can't do that if he doesn't go and talk to Zoro. He hopes Zoro doesn't harm himself but that doesn't mean that's all that could happen. Zoro could tell his father what happen and what if they change the school he goes too. If he gets transferred they might never see each other again and he wants to. He needs to tell Zoro how he feels, he needs to tell Zoro he's sorry.
What they need is to start over. Clean the slate and start from scratch. They need to start over. Talk to each other like it's their first time meeting, they need to tell each other, no he needs to tell Zoro somethings too. He's talked to the marimo but he's never told the marimo personal things either. It's always Zoro telling him things like his mother. The marimo knows Sanji like everyone else does. Everyone knows him as the orphan who was adopted by a chef and raise by him, to have a dream to follow in his adopted father's footsteps and own his own restaurant, he's a gentleman.
But that's not all there is to him.