A/N: I'm sorry this chapter was late! Some of these just roll off my fingers (?) and others are really hard to write. I do like this chapter, though. I think. Sometimes I say that and then I read it a couple more times and then I hate it. But for now, I like this chapter. I hope you do too, enjoy!

Donnie's pov

Everything was white. The walls were so blindingly bright white he couldn't tell where the floor ended and the wall started. Donnie looked down. Where there should be brown and green there was more white. He was wearing white clothes. His hands were gloved as well, although with human gloves, the extra fingers drooping. The lights were very bright, and made it so there were no shadows anywhere.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid. Donnie knew about this type of torture. It was called White Torture. It was a type of sensory deprivation. The prisoner was placed in a room with bright lighting that was never turned off and resulted in a loss of the perception of time and sleep deprivation. They wore white clothes. Sometimes they were starved, or they were fed bland, white food, traditionally unseasoned white rice. Prisoners were left in these rooms for months, or even years. It resulted in depersonification, insomnia, and sometimes psychotic breaks.

Hopefully he didn't go insane.

Maybe since he knew about this torture it wouldn't work on him. Donnie took off his gloves. Damn, it was freezing. He put them back on. What else could he do… well, the piont of this torture was to deprive him of all sensory things, right? Maybe he could make noise…?

He remembered one account of someone being tortured this way. The man was kept in the room for a long time, and when he got out he couldn't even remember his mother's face.

That scared him. What if he forgot his brothers? Then he would truly be alone.

Donnie closed his eyes, entering his mindscape as he did when he needed to look for information. His brain was organized like a vast library of memories, feelings, experiences, and all the knowledge he had ever collected. It was organized in sections and subsections and sub-subsections and so on.

He found the wide section of memories with his brothers. Maybe if he played the memories constantly he wouldn't forget them.

He couldn't forget. He wouldn't. It was too important.

Sifting through the movie cases in his mind library, he found one he loved. It was of the first time he and his brothers had gone up topside.

Donnie was about 5 when it happened. He didn't actually know his real age. Splinter had labeled them when they were younger, but nobody really knew if he was right. Raph was 6, Mikey was 4 and Leo was the same age as him. Donnie remembered when they were younger and they would constantly fight over who was the older twin. And whether or not they were twins. And whether or not Donnie was a stuck up annoying butthead- yeah, he and Leo had fought a lot.

(And for the record, Donnie is definitely older.)

Anyway, it was in the middle of summer, and it was soooooo hot. They decided that it was probably cooler up on the surface, where Splinter was always going. Sure, it was forbidden, but whatever. Splinter would never know.

Well, that quickly got thrown out the window because in 10 seconds flat they were hopelessly lost in the big, wide, outside world. Donnie was freaking out. Back then, when he freaked out that meant crying. That habit got hammered out of him by years of relentless teasing, but that hadn't happened yet. So they were lost in New York City, tears were streaming down Donnie's face, his younger brothers (Leo and Mikey) were starting to cry because he was crying, Raph was trying to calm them down but simultaneously trying not to cry himself because all three of his brothers cried at the sight of tears and it was all just a big mess.

Luckily Splinter figured out where they had gone very quickly. It turned out that they weren't really lost; they were right next to a manhole. In their defence, they'd never been outside before and didn't know how things worked.

One good thing that came out of the experience though, was that Splinter decided they were old enough to go out for real, and took them out with him sometimes. They were still not allowed to go out alone though. But obviously, that was a rule that was broken many, many times.

Donnie smiled at the memory. He kept his eyes closed. He didn't want to look at the blinding whiteness of the room he was in.

Another colorful memory. How about the time he fell in love with tech?

He was 6. Before that point in time, he had always had a knack for fixing and building things. When his brothers broke their toys, they would always come to Donnie to get them fixed. They used to go to Splinter, but after a disastrous incident with a certain teddy bear, Splinter was no longer trusted.

So it was fall, and Donnie was bored. He was tired of rereading books. He only had a couple of books; two were textbooks that he devoured over and over again, and the other one was a picture book that Leo and Raph were always reading choppily to Mikey. Donnie practically had his textbooks memorized word for word he had read them so many times. He was bored of the same old math and biology. He wanted MORE, new knowledge. He craved it. So Donnie did a forbidden thing. He went topside.

He figured he could just pop into the junkyard, find a book or two to read, then get out. But when he got to the junkyard, he realized this would take some searching.

In the end, he didn't find any books. He hadn't really known then, but it was a metal junkyard. You'll never find a book there. But he did find something that fascinated him. It looked sort of like a book, but made of metal and with no pages. The inside had some kind of screen and a weird thing with all the letters and some symbols. He decided this was interesting enough. He would take it home and ask Splinter what it was.

It turned out that it was a computer. Splinter tried turning it on, but it was broken, so he gave Donnie a screwdriver to take it apart, something Splinter knew Donnie loved.

Somehow, messing around with the wires and all the stuff inside the laptop, Donnie fixed it. He would never publicly admit that it was a fluke, but it really was. But there was nothing 'fluke' about what he did from there though. Donnie created amazing things with technology now, but it started there, fixing a laptop by accident.

That memory was kind of useless, he was supposed to be remembering his brothers.

Well, his brothers were annoying. They never stopped bothering him, even when he told them to stop MULTIPLE TIMES. But he did love them.

Mikey was an adorable cinnamon roll. Well, most of the time. Donnie had to admit Dr. Delicate Touch was scary. But the kid could cook! And his fighting skills were amazing. The only reason Donnie could beat him in a fight was his tech bo. Mikey was always the one reminding Donnie that he would die if he didn't sleep, eat or drink liquids other than coffee, which was annoying but true. It's not that he didn't want to, it's just that he gets carried away and forgets to. There have been a couple of times where he would just pass out on his desk from lack of sleep. Luckily he didn't do that anymore. Much. Mikey was good at reminding him to look at the clock. Also, has he mentioned his cooking skills?! Mikey was his cute little brother, and although he could be very annoying sometimes, Donnie knew he wasn't doing it on purpose. It's just that Mikey always seemed to be brimming with energy; he was never still and never quiet. Which was annoying because Donnie's lab was one of Mikey's favorite hangout spots. This led to Donnie snapping at him, which then made him cry, which then made Donnie feel bad and apologize. Then Mikey would go back to the lab, and after a couple more days (or hours depending on Donnie's mood) the whole thing began again.

Leo could be annoying, very annoying, but Donnie knew he meant well. Leo genuinely thought he was funny, and sometimes he was, but, ahem, Donnie was funnier. Leo was energetic to rival Mikey; he was constantly moving or talking or both. It was very annoying to watch movies with him due to his running commentary. Whenever Donnie complained about this Leo would complain that Donnie always points out all the scientific inaccuracies in every movie they watch. Then Donnie would argue that a good movie shouldn't have scientific inaccuracies and it's not his fault these are bad movies. The Leo would point out that they had watched these movies a billion times and Donnie does it every time, and Donnie would argue that it is impossible for them to actually have seen them a billion times, and Leo would call Donnie a stuck up nerd, and Donnie would call Leo an dumb childish brat, and yeah Leo and Donnie argue a lot. A lot. But Donnie knew Leo loved him, and Leo knew Donnie loved him. They threw insults at each other a lot (a lot) but it was just part of their relationship. They both knew neither one really meant it. Even though they often insisted that they did.

Raph was just a big spiky teddy bear. He was the mom of the group. Sure, sometimes it was smothering, but he meant well. Raph was probably the brother Donnie was on best terms with, what with his constant banter with Leo (if you could even call it that) and Mikey's constant pestering. Raph was the calmest of his brothers, a trait that probably stemmed from him being the one always looking after them when they were little. Raph was really just a gentle giant who wouldn't hurt a fly, unless that fly hurt his brothers, in which case that fly would be reduced to bug mush in a matter of seconds. Raph could be really overprotective, but while it annoyed Donnie to no end he understood the sentiment behind it. He just didn't want to lose his brothers. Donnie felt the same way (obviously) but expressed it differently. While Raph was pretty much their mom, Donnie built machines. He used his talent to create things to keep his brothers safe. He took note of their shortcomings and built them things to help compensate. Once, he made his brothers gifts that he thought would fix some of their most major problems, but of course they took it the wrong way and ended up breaking them. (It's not like he worked for a month on those things, nope, they took no time at all, and had absolutely no work or thought put into them.) Since that incident he made it more subtle. But the point of that tangent was to illustrate that Donnie understood Raph's overprotective nature. He didn't necessarily enjoy it, but he put up with it the best out of his brothers. Maybe it had to do with him being the second oldest. (Yes, he was second oldest, Leo was a child.)

Donnie opened his eyes and was hit full on by the blinding whiteness of the room. How long had it been? How long had he been thinking absentmindedly? He practically wrote an essay in his head about each of his brothers. Why was he wasting time? He could be looking for a weak spot in the room and escaping, but he was sprawled on the floor doing nothing but thinking.

Deep down he knew why. Deep down he knew that he was never going to leave this place. He would be here forever and he would never see his brothers again.

A single tear rolled down his face. He would be alone forever. He wasn't good enough for his brothers anyway. He hoped they escaped without him.

No. He wouldn't let himself think that way. He wouldn't let them win. This torture was tying to break him? Well he would not be broken. He was Donatello Hamato, and he would find a way out!

A/N: Ooh, positivity! I wasn't planning on ending it this way, but it just sort of happened and I didn't want to keep you guys waiting any longer. Again, I really sorry I took so long to write this. I wish I could say I have an acual excuse like homework or something but the truth is I was just reading a lot of OTHER people's fanfics instead of writing mine. Knowing myself, the next chapter will probably also take two weeks, but I'll try to get it out by next Sunday.