After a long day at the office, which if she is honest is every day, Olivia walked into her apartment. She was physically and emotionally exhausted, tiredly taking her coat off and placing it on the coat rack. She thanked Lucy as she left to go home herself. Olivia then walked to her kitchen in search of a glass of wine to take the edge off when Elliot texted her.
Elliot: Hey Liv. You home?
Liv: Yeah. Just got in.
Elliot: Up for some company?
Liv: For you, always.
Elliot: Be there in an hour.
Liv was sipping her wine when she decided she was going to go take a shower while she waited for Elliot to arrive. Before heading to her bedroom, she went to check on Noah. Walking into his bedroom and over to his bed, she saw he was fast asleep. She placed a kiss on his forehead and quietly left the room. Liv hops into the shower, lathering up with soap and shampoo. She is thinking about her day when she starts pondering about her relationship with Elliot and where they are going with it. They have already spent hours talking about the last decade apart –Italy, what happened to Liv while Elliot was gone, what Wheatley said, and the beginnings of their feelings for each other over the past 23 years. Olivia hasn't said she loves Elliot yet, but he has said it multiple times to her over the past few months.
When there is a knock, she freaks out washing off and hopping out of the shower as quickly as possible because he's super early. Grabbing for her robe, she realized it wasn't there and had to use a towel instead. She hears another knock while hurrying to wrap a towel around her middle and a second towel around her hair. Hurrying to open the door, she tries to look as presentable as one can in only a towel that leaves nothing to the imagination.
Looking through the peephole, Olivia sees Elliot standing in the hall, waiting for her to let him in. Swinging the door open as she is drying her hair with one of the towels, she is met with a surprised facial expression. "Elliot! What are you already doing here? You said you would be here in an hour. It's only been 30 minutes." Elliot stands there for a few seconds, still, trying to take what his eyes are staring at in front of him. "I was already out and in the area, so I thought I would head over early. I wanted to see you." As much as Liv wants to be mad at him, she finds it adorable that he came over early just to spend more time with her. "Oh? Okay." A few seconds passed and they were still standing there, looking at each other awkwardly. "Are you going to invite me in?" he asks. "Yes, of course. Sorry. Please come in."
Liv stepped to the side and let him walk into her apartment. "Would you like a beer or glass of wine?" she asks to avoid standing there in front of Elliot with only a towel covering her body from him. "Beer would be great," he says as he goes to sit on the couch. Hurrying over to the fridge, she pulls out a beer for Elliot and wine for herself. Without thinking, she went to grab a glass from the cabinet. As she did, her towel inched up her legs, even more, exposing more of the back of her legs and thighs to Elliot.
He would never let himself stare at a woman besides his deceased wife, and had been successful until Olvia Benson entered his life all those years ago. He could never be subtle about his need to stare at Liv no matter how much he tried to hide it. When he first saw Liv tonight, he was speechless, not being an uncommon occurrence for him. He couldn't believe he was looking at a partially naked Olivia freaking Benson and he was allowed to. Well, they haven't discussed the state of their current friendship or relationship, whatever you want to call it. But that doesn't stop him from ogling endless over her curves and luscious bronzed skin. And who is he to not look now, when she has her back to him and her ass barely covered. Even so, he was currently trying not to let his thoughts take over his body as he turned to look at Liv right when she went for the wine glass.
After pouring her wine, Olivia brought her glass and Elliot's beer over to the couch, setting them down on the table. She stayed standing as she wasn't comfortable sitting so close in her current condition. "So, what brings you here tonight?" Elliot looks up at her, "I thought we could talk about what we are doing here." Olivia looks back at him with a strange look. "What do you mean? In regards to what?" Even though he has a good idea that she knows what he is getting at, he plays along. "I mean what is happening between us. Where are we going with our relationship?"
Liv's mind was going a hundred miles a minute right now, in every direction. Was she ready for them to become more? Was he in the right place for them to become more? Ready for them to become more so soon after his wife died? It had only been 9 months and was that enough time for him to be stable and sure enough in his recovery and therapy with PTSD? She wasn't positive that Elliot wasn't just drawn to her because of the familiarity and normalcy that she brought to his life. Yes, it has been 10 years since he lived in New York, that she knew of at least., but he could still be holding onto his old life out of grief and uncertainty because it was easier.
"Liv, you there?" Elliot tries to get her attention for the third time. "Yeah, sorry. I got lost in thought." She offers no insight into her thoughts. "Was that you lost in thought thinking about it in a good way or were you overthinking?" Liv stares back at him, unmoving. "I'm sorry I can't do this right now. Not while I am dressed like this and under these circumstances." "What do you mean? Under these circumstances?" he asks honestly. "Elliot, I am standing here talking to you in only a towel. I think this calls for a different time for this conversation. Now if you don't mind, I am going to go get changed and head to bed. You can let yourself out."
Olivia goes to turn towards her bedroom, but Elliot swiftly stands and grabs her hand, stopping her from proceeding to her destination. "No. Don't do that Liv. Don't ignore what is happening between us because you're scared. I know you. I know right now you're freaking out and trying to come up with every reason to avoid this conversation at all costs. You've been doing it for weeks now." She looks back at him shocked and also a little anger for knowing her so well even after all these years. "El, I can't do this now. I can't trust you." "Olivia, you can trust me. I am not going anywhere. I am not leaving you again."
The dam within Olivia, everything that she has been holding back, even after all the conversations they've had, breaks free, rushing out. "I can't trust you because you left me for 10 years. And even after promising me that you wouldn't leave without a word again, you did. You left for another 3 months for UC. I understand that. You know I do. But you didn't even contact me at that time to let me know you were safe and that you weren't leaving me again. We both know if you really wanted to, you could have found a way to get ahold of me and not let me think you had left with no word." Elliot tries to stop her, "Liv-" She cuts him off, continuing to let it all out. "I can't trust that you are better and not using me as a port in the storm you are going through. God, Elliot. You really don't get it, do you? You left me after I built my whole life around you being in my life and having you there to trust no matter what. And then you just left, like I didn't matter. Like our partnership didn't matter. How could you expect me to do that again when I don't have any reason to trust again?"
Elliot had tears coming down his face, not holding back his own emotions. "Liv, you can trust me. You can trust me with your life." "El, I trust you with my life and Noah's and I know you have my back. I trust you with my life as well as Noah's and I would put it in your hands in an instant if I had to. But I can't trust you with my heart. You have broken it too many times and I don't know if I can take that chance again." She let her final sentence out with a sob that wracked her whole body, causing her to almost fall. Elliot caught her in his arms as she fell forward into him. He held her against his chest as they both cried into each other's arms, finally letting go of over 20 years of bottled-up emotions.
Elliot pulled her down with him as he sat back down on the couch. She was still in arms, face nuzzled into his neck, as her uncontrollable sobs continued to pulse through her. As he was holding her, neither of them realized that their conversation had woken Noah up and he had come out of this room to see what was going on. "Mommy, are you okay? Elliot, what's wrong with my mom?" Elliot responded, "Your mom is okay. She's just really sad and needs a minute to cry. Go back to bed, little man." Noah looked at Elliot septically, not fully believing him. "Okay…, mom, are you sure you're okay?" Liv looks up at her son and says "Yeah, I will be. Elliot is helping me get there. Go back to bed, my sweet boy." Noah is satisfied now that he had talked directly to his mom, so he heads to his room, leaving them alone once again.
Elliot takes this opportunity to respond to Liv and what she said. "Liv, I am so sorry for everything that I put you through. I will be trying to prove my love and trust to you for the rest of my life. I will never give you a reason to not trust me again." "You don't know that, El. You could do something dumb tomorrow that makes me mad and yell at you again." They both laugh through their tears. " You're right. But I will do everything in my power to make sure that you can trust me with everything. With your life, with Noah, and with your heart. I know I will have to earn your forgiveness, and that might not ever happen. Just know that I will always put in all of my efforts into showing my love and affection for you and Noah."
She looks at him and sees the sincerity in his tear-filled eyes. "Okay." Even though he didn't say nearly as much in this conversation, she knows that just letting her word vomit all over is the proof she needs to start and build that trust fully and completely in every aspect going forward. He is still healing from the loss of Kathy but he is in a place to accept and give out love in a healthy way and that's all she could ask for. Through the last few months, she has been giving him parts of her life little by little, letting him back in slowly except for one area. Now, she is willing to let him back into her heart, offering every part of herself to him.
"I've loved you for so long, you are a part of who I am and why I'm still here, breathing. You are the reason for everything good in my life. You are the reason I believe in soulmates. Olivia, I love you with all of my heart." Liv stares back at him, a little taken back by everything Elliot just said, taking it all in. Instead of responding with words, she leans in, towards his lips, putting everything that she feels for this man into the kiss. They are equally matched in the kiss, taking it slow, putting everything they left unsaid tonight and over the last two decades together and apart.
They are laying on the couch together, Liv laying on top of Elliot, tucked between him and the back of the cushions. Her head is laying on his chest, over his heart listening to his heartbeat even out, thumping rhythmically, lulling her to sleep. Elliot is awake below her, taking in everything he can about this moment, feeling the weight of what they've shared tonight. He felt the final puzzle piece slide into place that was keeping them from being the best versions of themselves, together. He is thinking about how lucky he is to have this woman in his arms, trusting him with everything after all he's put her through. He is thanking God and the stars above for bringing this woman back into his life, no matter the circumstances. He feels grateful to be in a place to give and receive love from this incredible human being. He falls asleep, with the smell of her shampoo surrounding him, the happiest he's been in a long time.
Sometime later, Elliot wakes up, still on the couch with Liv in his arms, snuggling into him. The angle that she had shifted to in the last few hours has moved the towel around her body, bringing even more of her skin into view, creating an uncomfortable situation for Elliot as she is still asleep above him. He brings his hand up to her cheek, brushing it against it, causing her to stir. She groans, not wanting to wake up or move for that matter. "What time is it?" She asks, with her eyes still closed, nuzzling into Elliot's neck. 'It's the middle of the night, but we should get you some clothes and into your bed." She groans again, even more, "But I'm so warm and comfy here, laying on you." She starts placing little kisses on his neck, thinking it will get him to stay and not make her move. "Liv, as much as I love being this close and in this position with you, I don't think Noah should see his mom laying on her 'friend' in nothing but a towel out in the living room when he wakes up." Ugh, you're right."
She starts to move to stand up, it finally clicks now in her brain that she's wearing nothing but a bath towel, even though they just discussed this. Her towel falls low enough on her chest and exposes her hips to reveal some of her scars. Elliot stares up at her, seeing the slip, and has no doubt in his mind what they are from. You see, they had already had many conversations and talks about what happened in each other's lives while they were apart, so he knows about what she went through when he wasn't there. He will curse and beat himself for the rest of his days for not being there for her, but that doesn't mean he won't be here for her now. Liv realizes that he saw them, even in the short amount of time she was able to cover herself up again. "I'm sorry" "Liv, you have nothing to be sorry about. They are a part of who you are and the amazing woman I love." She gives him a small smile in appreciation for understanding.
He stands up, walking back with her to her bedroom. Once they got there, he made sure she changed into pajamas or at least something comfortable enough to sleep in, as she was so tired that she could have been mistaken as intoxicated. After getting her into bed, Elliot is about to say his goodbye and leave when she says, "Wait, stay. Please. It's the middle of the night and I know Eli is still staying with Maureen." Elliot didn't think it would be the best idea, but he gave in. "Okay. Tell you what. I will be out on the couch if you need anything, let me know." He kisses her forehead, about to head to the couch. "No silly. I meant to sleep in my bed with me. It's just sleeping, nothing is going to happen. I'm too tired to even keep my eyes open let alone do anything else." He decides to not fight her, taking off his pants and shirt, sliding in next to her. He kisses her cheek, pulling her back into his chest, "Night, Liv. Sweet dreams." "Night El, I love you." Within seconds, Olivia is asleep and Elliot is left smiling to himself, knowing that she finally verbally said she loved him. He has known for a while that she loves him, but for Olivia Benson to say she loves you out loud, now that's something to remember.
After everything that Elliot and Olivia have gone through, the obstacles that they have faced, they know that somehow or another, they are going to come out the other side, hand in hand. They are soulmates. They might not have known that 23 years ago when Liv was trying to convince Elliot that they existed, but all that matters now is that they made it here. Nothing was going to keep them apart and stand in their way of finally being together. Elliot falls asleep, knowing that no matter what, everything was going to be okay because he had Liv in his arms, right where she belonged.
Into the unknown.