My Everything

Chapter 2

Pam had everything all planned out. The lasagna was in the oven, the garlic bread was cut and warmed. Two glasses of wine sat on opposite ends of their dining table along with their best set of cutlery. She wore one of Roy's favorite blouses, one that he always asked her to wear on their dates (a bit tighter than her usual cardigans), and she had the TV in the living room turned on to the football game, volume low enough so they could still carry on a conversation.

Tonight was the night. She was asking Roy about their wedding, and she would be getting an answer. Ever since talking to Jim about it at the dollar store a month ago, she hadn't been able to think of anything else. It had taken her this long to work up the courage, and after rehearsing what she would say a million times in her head before she fell asleep at night, she was ready.

She heard the oven timer chime out and slipped her hands into the oven mitts on the counter, hoisting the steaming lasagna pan out of the oven and onto the cooling rack. She heard the front door of their condo open behind her and Roy appeared in the entranceway, kicking off his work boots and tossing his coat into the hallway closet (never up on the hanger, much to her annoyance).

She took a deep inhale and turned around, wiping the sheen of sweat off her brow that the intense heat of the oven had left behind. "Hey, Roy."

"Hey babe." He strode over to her to give her a light peck on the cheek as he always did, throwing his wallet and keys on the counter at the same time. He never used the small basket she'd put on the end table to try and cut down on the clutter, but she'd learned to let it go. "Some things never change" as her mom would say.

He pulled open the fridge and stuck his head in, searching for an ice-cold beer, his usual after-work routine. "How was work?" he asked.

"Good." She gave her standard answer as she licked her lips nervously. "Roy, I made us supper if you wanna sit down."

He emerged from the fridge, beer in hand, and took in the dining table just off the kitchen. "Oh, awesome." He flashed her a smile. "Smells good in here."

He took his place at one end of the table, and she brought the still-steaming lasagna over to him, heaping a square slice onto his plate, sauce dripping out from the sides. After she served herself a smaller piece, Pam took her seat and Roy cracked open his beer.

"Oh, I poured us some wine." She gestured toward his glass with her fork.

"Ah, I'll get to it. I never really liked that stuff much anyway. Gotta have a cold one first." He took a long swig and started rolling off his discolored work socks. Pam crinkled up her nose.

"While we're eating?"

He cocked up an eyebrow. "I'm not fully relaxed until these babies come off. The warehouse was slammed today. We had three extra shipments of paper to unload. Plus, two additional cases of extra-wide double-lined which is always such a pain to inventory." He kicked his dirty socks underneath the table and dug into his lasagna.

Pam nodded and took a sip of wine. "Sounds busy."

"Yeah. And then Zack and the guys want to go grab a beer at Poor Richard's later tonight so I better scarf this down now if I want to get there." Pam bit her tongue as a scathing retort bubbled up to her lips at his casual mention of yet another night out without her. She was silent for a minute and took a deep breath, feeling herself calming down. "Oh, well, I was kind of hoping we could spend the night together instead..." She held her breath slightly and added,"...maybe start thinking about wedding plans." She took a tentative bite of lasagna.

Roy's eyebrows knit together pleadingly. "Aw, come on Pammy, I don't want to sit around discussing that sissy stuff. If you let me go tonight I promise we'll spend the whole weekend together. We can even go see that ice sculpture you keep talking about in the mall." His eyes took on that round, wide puppy-dog look he wore so frequently around her when he asked for something. Usually, it was used to get out of plans he had made with her.

Teenage Pam had once been a complete sucker for that look, but its effect had gradually worn off over the years, replaced with an urge to roll her eyes and bitter disappointment.

"But, Roy..." She tried to stand her ground. "I really want to talk about this. It's...important to me."

The sound of his fork clattering to his dinner plate rang out as he dropped it in frustration. "Honestly, Pam. I worked all day, I just don't have the energy for that stuff right now." He took another long swig of beer.

She felt herself relenting, wanting to give in to avoid confrontation as she usually did, but she took a breath and tried once more. "I worked all day too. I just feel like it's been a long time since we got engaged and I want to start planning, that's all. There's lots of time to go to the bar with the guys this weekend, instead." She felt like a parent telling a child they could have their dessert only if they finished their vegetables first.

Roy was silent as he scarfed up the last bites of his lasagna. He stood up abruptly, grabbing his plate and fork as he sulked over to the kitchen. She winced as she heard him roughly give his dishes a light scrub and let them clatter into the sink. He ambled over to the living room, where he proceeded to plop himself on the couch with a sigh, grabbing the remote and turning up the volume of the game.

She felt tears prickling up into her eyes as she stayed seated at the table behind him, full of frustration. Even if she kept him here, what would that accomplish? What good would it do? Trying to make him do something he wasn't interested in was like trying to make a kid pay attention in class. He'd be all miserable and purposely unhelpful to anything she'd want to discuss.

Eventually, Pam cleared her throat and tried not to sound resentful. "You can go to Poor Richard's, Roy."

Immediately the volume of the TV was lowered. "What was that, babe?"

"Go out and have fun. We can talk another time." She looked down at her lasagna barely touched on her plate, hating herself for backing down so easily. Roy rose up from the couch immediately, making his way over to her, clearly in a better mood. "Aw, Pam, thanks. That's awesome." He planted a big kiss on the top of her head and pulled her up out of her chair.

"Zack just bought this new motorcycle and he's gonna show up to the bar on it. I've been wanting to see that thing for ages but he's always been out of town." Pam gave him a small smile as she observed the excited light in his eyes, feeling her heart slowly warming up to him again. She couldn't resist the pleasant feeling she got when he looked at her that way.

"Sounds like fun." He was clearly excited about this, and she did love seeing him happy. He pulled her against his chest and wrapped her into a big hug, a hug that always made her feel so safe. She leaned her head against him and closed her eyes, letting out a big exhale and trying to let go her sour feelings from earlier.

"I promise we'll talk about all that stuff later. And I'll listen to all your ideas, I'm sure they're great." He gave her a tender kiss on the top of her head and then let her go just as quick, grabbing up his wallet and keys.

"Ah, I need to put on fresh socks," he muttered to himself and made his way down the hall as she turned around and sighed with arms crossed, surveying the kitchen.

Well, it wasn't exactly what she had hoped for, but hopefully it was a start.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Jim rubbed his hands over his eyes, fighting off a huge yawn. It was 4:00pm on a Wednesday, and he'd been feeling sluggish all week. He hadn't been able to get a solid night's sleep for the life of him, and all those hours mindlessly playing video games during those bouts of insomnia were starting to take their toll.

It didn't help that work was exceedingly uneventful. Usually, he would turn to pranking Dwight when he felt like this, but he had taken some rare time off to work on his beet farm. Jim's eyes had almost popped out of his head when he'd heard this revelation. Before today, he had been almost 1000% certain that Dwight would still come to work no matter what the circumstance, even during a nuclear war or a zombie apocalypse.

He looked at the clock. 4:02pm. Exhaling heavily, he clicked open some solitaire on his computer screen, mindlessly working with the cards, trying to run out the last hour of the work clock. He had never been a "nose to the grindstone" type of person at work-he put in exactly as much effort as he needed to, nothing more and nothing less. Working in paper hadn't exactly been the dream he had for himself—he always viewed it as a placeholder until his "real" career came along. But the years were beginning to pass by, and he was still where he was five years ago. The more he thought about it, the more he realized that if he wasn't careful, this was going to be the rest of his life.

He quickly closed the solitaire and rubbed his eyes again. 4:10pm.

He looked around the room, leaning back in his chair slightly, and his eyes settled on the reception desk. Pam was furiously typing at her keyboard, probably trying to finish her last string of e-mails for the day. He took in her soft features, the loose curls of her dark blonde hair pulled up and out of her face. She was wearing her pink cardigan, which meant that winter must be close at hand. She only wore her cardigan in the afternoons during the winter.

He quickly moved his eyes away from her, hoping she didn't realize he had been staring at her. Jim wasn't an idiot. He knew he had feelings for Pam. Feelings that he had recently admitted to himself were more than just a shallow crush. But Pam was engaged, and he couldn't let himself indulge in things like staring at her, thinking about her. Even talking to her had to be carefully monitored. He reasoned that being friends was innocent and safe enough, so things like playful banter and joking around were still allowed. But anything beyond that was strictly off the table. Things like confessing how he truly felt.

He looked up at her again, this time getting out of her chair and making her way over to the fax machine. She had her back to him completely now as she leaned her hand on the machine, and he heard the soft clicks as it sprung to life. His eyes took in her small frame and he, not for the first time, appreciated the delicate quality of her beauty. His thoughts began to drift off and out of his control, picturing what it would be like to go out on a real date with her. He'd take her to a small burger joint close to his place that he sometimes went to himself on the weekends. The walls were covered in quirky caricatures of well-known famous people, and he knew she'd get a kick out of seeing them. Then after that, he'd ask her to go window-shopping down the street for as long as she wanted, and probably grab a cup of ice cream from the vendor at the end of the sidewalk. Then they'd take a short bus ride to the park and stroll slowly under the stars, talking about anything and everything. He'd make some kind of joke and she'd laugh with that funny little snort like she did at things that really got her going. She would hold his hand as if she'd done it a million times and he'd feel...complete.

Someone sitting in the back of the office sneezed suddenly and he sat up straighter, remembering where he was. It was 4:25pm and Pam was seated at her desk again, stuffing a few papers neatly into an envelope. Jim exhaled heavily through his nose and brought a hand to his chin as he looked to his computer again, intent on gazing at it vacantly until it was time to leave.

He heard the door at the entrance to the office open and his eyes flicked up, seeing Roy clad in his warehouse issue blue shirt and pants. He lumbered his way over to Pam's desk and Jim saw her look over at her fiancée, giving him a tired smile.

"Ready to go, Pammy?"

"Yup, just let me get my coat."

It was the first Friday of the month, and Jim knew that the warehouse usually finished up half an hour early on those days. Pam tried to complete all her reception duties early so she and Roy could leave together. Michael never seemed to notice that she left early, and if he did he never brought it up. Half the time Michael was already gone from work by then himself.

She stood up from her desk and grabbed her coat off the hook behind her, tugging it on around herself as Roy took a few M&M's. Jim flicked his eyes back to his computer, idly going over what his own plans would be for the weekend in his mind. Laundry, probably. And he really needed to grab some more groceries, there wasn't any more bread for sandwiches. And he couldn't keep ordering pizza every night.

"Hey." Pam laid a finger on his desk lightly and he looked up, vaguely surprised. "Are you going to Poor Richard's tomorrow night?"

He remembered a few people mentioning that it was Oscar's birthday and they were going out to celebrate. Oscar was one of the office accountants, and a fairly decent guy—Jim hadn't really given the party much thought but he guessed he would go. As diverse and different as his co-workers were, they could still be fun enough to hang out with after-hours, especially when the drinks started flowing. And it sure beat another lonely night at home with his PlayStation.

"Uh, yeah, I'll probably stop by." He leaned back in his chair again as he looked up at her. "That is, if my plans with Bill Gates and Michael Jordan fall through."

She gave him a playful half-smirk. "Right. Well, you know you could probably bring them along, too."

He crossed his arms across his chest smugly. "Nah, not my style. I've got to show them a thing or two about shooting hoops and making millions, anyway."

Pam flashed a smile and opened her mouth to retort, but they both heard the sound of feet shifting their weight behind her and Roy clear his throat quietly. "Pammy?"

Pam took a step towards him, looking back at Jim. "Roy and I will be there. Probably a bit later in the night." She gave him a warm smile and he burned it into his memory so he could call it up in his head again later. "Have a good weekend, Halpert."

One side of his mouth quirked up. "You too, Beesly." He looked over at Roy to offer some sort of goodbye but he was already halfway out the office door, barely holding it long enough for Pam to sneak through before it closed.

He turned to face his computer yet again. Well, his weekend had already gotten an upgrade. He'd at least be able to see Pam, albeit with Roy in tow. But he had to take whatever he could get.

Her smile played its way through his mind and he felt his own lips upturn a bit to match. If this was to be the rest of his life, maybe it wouldn't be so bad after all.