My Everything

Chapter 3

Pam didn't mind the bar. It wasn't her first choice for recreation, but she could still go out and have a good time if she was invited. She especially liked when people from the office went there together; even with the mixture of polar-opposite personalities, they somehow always ended up having fun.

She wasn't particularly close with her co-workers, and using the word friend to describe any of them would be stretching things pretty far, but she felt mostly at ease around all of them. She knew exactly what to expect. The only person she counted as an actual friend in the office was Jim, and they didn't even talk to each other outside of work.

Still, she was excited to be celebrating with everyone at Poor Richard's tonight. She had put on a new blouse she bought a few weeks ago along with some hip-hugger jeans and black sling-back pumps. Her lips shone with a soft berry-colored lipstick and she actually felt pretty, much to her surprise. Roy had even told her so as they climbed into his truck and headed for the bar. She smiled all the way there from the passenger seat, watching the streetlights play across the window as they drove.

Poor Richards was packed when they got there, tall tables filled to the brim with people—most of them were there to watch the football game. They slowly inched their way over to the table that held their co-workers, a large booth at the very back. Pam could barely hear the football announcers' voices blaring out from the TVs that lined the walls of the bar above the loud drunken voices of the patrons. She chuckled to herself when she finally spotted the birthday boy Oscar sitting next to Kevin with a loosened tie and an orange party hat on his head.

She also noticed some half-empty pitchers in the middle of the table and saw that everyone was already pretty loose. Kelly had herself draped over Ryan in the corner, and Phyllis was devouring a plate of nachos whole-heartedly. Meredith and Kevin were yelling all types of obscenities at the football players as if the they could actually hear them.

Michael and Dwight had overheard the group's plan for a night out earlier at work and had tagged along, much to everyone else's annoyance. They were sitting shoulder to shoulder somewhat removed from the others and a young waitress was standing before them, looking slightly put-out. Michael's probably trying his pick-up lines on her. Poor woman. Pam giggled inwardly at the sight.

She and Roy finally made it to the group's table and she felt Roy lean in close to tell her something. "A few of my buddies are at the bar, I'm gonna go say hi."

Pam nodded at him. "Okay!" She turned and planted a light peck on his cheek. He instantly pulled away with a grimace.

"Babe! Not when you have lipstick on, remember?" He brushed off the light imprint her lips had left behind on his skin and turned back the way he had just come, walking over to the bar where two large men were seated. She recognized them as guys Roy played poker with sometimes. They were decent enough, but very heavy drinkers. And she knew for a fact that they both cheated on their wives.

Turning back to the table that held her co-workers, she spotted Jim sitting near one edge of the booth and made her way over. She poked him gently in the upper arm to get his attention over the noise of the bar. "Hey!" She practically had to shout.

He turned and smiled, sliding over as much as he could in the booth to make room for her. "Hey, yourself."

She sat next to him, her shoulder pressed up against his as there was barely enough room for her whole body to fit securely in the booth. A couple people from the office noticed her and waved, and she waved back.

"Do you want a drink?" Meredith shouted across the table at her.

"Sure." Pam's soft voice didn't carry very far but it didn't matter because Meredith was already pouring a glass for her from one of the pitchers. She slid it down the table as far as she could reach and a few other hands pushed it across until it finally slid over to her. Pam smiled her thanks and took the cold glass in her hands, studying the amber liquid it contained. She wasn't a big drinker. During work-related occasions like this one, she would have a highball or two (especially at the Dundee awards to dull any second-hand embarrassment), but drinking was predominantly Roy's department. She took a light sip of the drink, surprised when she actually enjoyed the taste. She guessed it was long island iced-tea.

Jim leaned in close to her then to say something and she felt wayward goosebumps track up her arm as she felt his breath on her ear. "Are you hungry?" He held up a small laminated menu in his hand.

She shook her head. "No, I'm good, thanks."

They sat in silence for a while, watching the football game on the screen closest to them. Pam sipped at her drink until she noticed it was empty. The pitcher had made its way closer to her side of the table at some point and she grabbed for it now, pouring herself another glass. She looked over in Roy's direction and saw that he'd already put back a few drinks himself and his cheeks were flushed like they always were when he drank. She guessed that "saying hi to friends" had turned into a full-blown hang out and she probably wouldn't see him for the rest of the night. She fought down a wave of irritation but didn't quite succeed, trying to reason with herself. He doesn't have to hang out with you all the time. These are your friends and he's with his friends. Let it go.

"Having fun?" Jim leaned in again. Pam rolled her eyes. "I guess. Pretty loud in here." He nodded his agreement.

Their eyes went back up to the game again and Pam downed another drink, trying not to stare daggers in her fiancee's direction. She saw Michael talking with Oscar now, looking like he was telling a joke that no one else found funny. Kevin had a huge layered sandwich in front of him that he was about to devour and she watched as a large drop of mustard landed in the middle of his white shirt. She elbowed Jim softly in the ribs and jutted her head in Kevin's direction. She felt Jim laugh and he shook his head.

"I think he needs a travel bib for things like this. Or at least some wet wipes." He chuckled again and leaned in. She could smell his aftershave and felt like pulling him even closer. She swallowed and drove the thought away. It was just the alcohol talking.

"I've been trying to decide how long Ryan is going to let Kelly pet his hair like that." He smirked and Pam bit her lip as she looked over at them, seeing Ryan's expression grow increasingly more annoyed as time went by.

She couldn't believe when she saw her glass was empty yet again, and quickly poured herself another. She felt a bit of a buzz, and historically this was usually the time when she stopped. Not because she made a conscious effort to, it was just the natural part of the night where either the party was over or she had to take Roy home. They had agreed before they left the condo that it was Pam's turn to drink and Roy would be the designated driver that night, but she saw the pile of empty glasses just beside his elbow on the bar and she felt a flutter of anger dart around in her stomach.

Some people from their booth stood up to leave at the other end, affording Jim and Pam more room. The football game had ended, and the crowds had thinned a bit. Pam could actually hear herself think again. She leaned over to Jim as a funny thought popped into her head. "What do you think would happen if I quit my job?"

Jim cocked his head back a little and his eyes widened. "What, are you?"

She shook her head as she took another drink from her glass. "No, I was just curious what would happen."

He folded the corner of a napkin beside him with a few fingers absentmindedly. "Well, I suppose they would hire a new girl."

"Yeah. Or it could be a guy." She poured herself another drink.

"Yep, it could." He pushed his lips together in thought. "And then I'd have to call them by their last name, and I'd have to involve them in all my pranks. I guess they'd have to know about the Master Plan, too."

The Master Plan was something she had helped Jim create in their first months of working together. It was a five-page plan, outlining various outrageous scenarios (with illustrations included) that either ended up with Dwight fired or fully in charge of the office. They hadn't quite decided which way they wanted to go. Having him in charge held as much promising entertainment value as him getting fired, they thought. It was just fun to work on an involved multi-step plot like they were orchestrating some sort of a bank robbery or jailbreak. Pam would sometimes email Jim a couple new ideas to add to the plan with the heading "IMPORTANT INFORMATION DISCLOSED WITHIN. OPEN AT YOUR OWN RISK." She got a kick out of it.

Pam drained her glass yet again, and she felt her vision blur ever so slightly whenever she turned her head.

"No one else is allowed to know that plan, Jim! No one else is allowed." She felt herself slur a bit on the last sentence.

Jim gave her a quizzical look as he eyed her glass. "Are you drunk, Beesly?"

"Nah." She giggled.

He placed his solitary beer bottle out of the way and moved the mostly-empty pitcher to the other side of the table. "If you want any more you'll have to fight me." He smirked at her and she leaned into his shoulder with her shoulder, making him wobble to the side a bit.

"Oh, come onnn." She blinked, trying to clear her vision up. "You don't want me to mess up that pretty face, do you?"

Jim chuckled beside her and she kept leaning into his arm. "It's a chance I'll have to take."

"I never really wanted to be a receptionist," Pam stated suddenly, as if it were part of their conversation.

Jim looked at her with an eyebrow raised, curious. "Oh? I thought it was your dream job."

"Why would you thin—think that?" She stumbled to get the word out, his sarcasm lost on her.

"What did you want to be, instead?"

"Uhh..." She looked down at what was left of her drink, downing it all in one gulp. "An artist."

"Right. I remember you saying you like to sketch. You should show me them sometime."

"Roy says they aren't very good."

Jim's forehead creased in concern. "Really?"

"Well, not enough for—to go to school for. He likes them but not enough for school." She hiccuped.

She saw Jim pick at his napkin again and she reached over to try and grab the pitcher that was now sitting on the other side of him. He gently pushed her arm away. "Are you sure you want more, Beesly?" His mouth was still upturned but his eyes held some worry in them. He recognized that she was probably just cutting loose and blowing off some steam like everyone else, but he was still concerned. It seemed like she was overdoing it tonight.

Just then, Oscar walked over to their end of the booth, orange party hat still on his head. He leaned in closer to them, resting a hand on Pam's back with a wide grin on his face and a sheen of sweat on his forehead. "You guys having fun?"

"Oh, yeah!" Pam exclaimed and Jim leaned away, her voice now loud enough to carry across the table. "Happy birthday, Oscar!" She launched forward to give him a big hug with both arms, and a surprised Oscar reciprocated after a brief pause. Soon he was pulled over to the pool table by a few co-workers and Pam sat down in her seat again, her cheeks flushed and her movements a bit un-coordinated as she accidentally knocked over a salt shaker.

"Are you hungry? I'll order you some fries or something. Don't want to drink that much on an empty stomach." Jim slid farther into the booth so Pam could have more room. She bit her lip as she considered his offer. "Well, okay!" she exclaimed back to him, suddenly very enthused about the idea of food.

Jim held up his hand to stop a passing waitress, grateful that Pam had accepted. He had never really seen her like this before, and he knew she didn't usually drink this much, if at all. He didn't want her to have a nasty hangover in the morning. They held a casual conversation about the upcoming work Halloween party until the fries arrived, heaped on top of each other in a small plastic basket with a thin coating of cheese dribbled across the top. Pam dug into them gratefully, munching to her heart's content. She'd traded in her drink glass for some water and Jim sunk back into the booth, relieved that she was eating something to help soak up the liquor. He took a quick glance at the clock in the corner of the bar and saw it was already 1:00AM.

"What's your dream job, Halpert?" Pam suddenly asked around a mouthful of fries. "Did you always want to be a paper salesman?"

Jim chuckled humorlessly, one knee bouncing up and down underneath the table. "Yeah, every little boy's dream, right?" He took the napkin in his hands, fiddling with it as he talked. "No, I don't really know what my dream job is exactly. But it definitely wasn't this."

She took a big drink of her water, setting it down with a bit more force than was needed. "Well, I'm glad we work together, Halpert. I'm glad you're here."

He smiled, sensing that liquor still had control of her tongue. "Yeah, me too."

She looked up at him then, and he noticed how close together they were sitting. Any stranger would probably think they had come to the bar together as a couple. Even under the dim lighting he could still see the golden flecks in her hazel eyes as she stared at him, and he loved the way her lips parted whenever she was thinking of what to say. She had worn lipstick tonight, something she only did for special occasions or holidays. He loved how she coordinated her outfits to match things like Valentine's Day or St. Patrick's Day like she was a homeroom teacher. She could wear a paper bag with holes cut into it for her arms and he's still probably think she was beautiful.

Pam hadn't taken her eyes off of him and her stare was starting to make him flush. "I mean it. I don't think I'd be able to make it to work every day if I wouldn't be able to see you." She looked away and polished off some more fries as he turned her words over and over in his head. She sat back in the booth and her head came to rest lightly against his shoulder.

Jim sat there rigid, staring down at the top of her head, afraid to move but also itching to get her to sit upright again. It wasn't that he didn't want her to sit like this with him. On the contrary, it was everything he had ever wanted. But he knew it was wrong. And it would look bad, especially to...

"Pam." Roy had stepped over from the bar to their booth and he leaned over so they could hear him. She sat up again slowly, smelling the liquor on Roy's breath and frowning. She felt Jim shift away from her quickly and she missed the warmth of his shoulder.

"Pam?" Roy addressed her again, setting a hand on the top of the booth's backrest. "Whatcha doin'?"

"She's just a little drunk." Jim pipped up beside her, resuming his fiddling with the now tattered napkin still in his hands. "She had something to eat, though."

Roy looked at him squarely with narrowed eyes but didn't say anything. His gaze shifted back to Pam. "Pammy, let's get out of here. It's getting late."

"But I don't want to." She sounded like a two-year-old as she looked down at her plate of fries. "I'm not done."

"Come on, it's just a few stupid fries. Let's go." He took his truck keys out of his pocket and held out a hand to her, expecting her to slide out of the booth to him.

"No, Roy. I'm not done." She took a fry in her mouth and Jim looked over at the bar where Roy had just been sitting, noticing all the empty drink glasses. He's driving? But he probably drank just as much as her, if not more.

"Pam." Roy's voice had lost its easy-going tone now. "I want to go home. Let's go home."

She didn't answer as she continued to eat her fries, avoiding eye contact with him. Roy let out a curse under his breath and put his knee on the end of the booth so he could lean in far enough to reach her. "Come on!" He grasped her arm, trying to pull her out with him. His grip wasn't tight but it was enough to move her a little.

"Hey-" Jim started and Pam pulled back, setting her arm free. "I don't want to!" Her face was screwed up into an expression of confusion and annoyance, still drunk enough to resist Roy's commanding tone.

Roy roughly backed out of the booth completely. "Fine, then, fine! Have it your way." He fumbled for his keys again.

"Don't worry, Roy. I'll drive her home." Jim spoke up again and Roy looked him dead in the eye. Jim fought down the urge to look away, putting his concern for Pam in front of his nervousness around her fiancée. Roy was definitely a guy you didn't want to mess with, and Jim was fairly confident he could re-arrange his face with his fist without batting an eye. But he didn't want Pam riding home with him if he'd been drinking, and he had to put her safety first and stand his ground.

"Fine." Roy's stare was as cold as a block of ice. He pointed a finger at him in warning. "No funny stuff, Halpert." He gave Pam one last look and shook his head before he turned and stalked his way out of the bar.

Pam looked down at her fries, pushing them around with a finger. "He's really mad at me. I can tell."

"I think everyone could tell that." Jim said, able to breathe again now that Roy was gone. He looked around, seeing that most of the people from the office had left for the night. He was happy about that, for Pam's benefit. She finished up her fries and Jim got her talking a bit more about silly work-related things until she started to yawn.

"Ok, Beesly." Jim announced. "I'm officially calling it a night for us. You're yawning and pretty soon I'll be yawning and I won't be able to see the road while I drive."

Pam giggled. "Well that's not safe at all."

"No, it's definitely not."

They both slid out of the booth, and he grabbed up his coat. He looked around for hers but then he remembered she didn't come with one. "You want my coat? It's cold out there."

She yawned again. "Okay." She took it from his outstretched hand and wrapped it around her shoulders as Jim went up to the bar and settled their bill. He watched her say goodbye to Oscar and the others before stepping back over to his side, and he could see she was a little wobbly. After a moment of contemplation, he slung an arm around her back to guide her out to his car, not wanting her to stumble in the dark. After slowly walking through the parking lot, Pam folded herself into the passenger seat of Jim's car with his help and he brought the seatbelt across her body, clicking it in place by her hip.

She told him all the corniest jokes she could think of on their drive back to her condo and he laughed at every single one. Even in her current state of inebriation, she was still funny. He remembered the way to her place from the only other time he'd ever seen it. A few years ago, her car battery had died and she'd called the office to see if anyone could give her a lift to work that morning. He'd jumped at the chance.

"What do you call a pi—pig that...," she laughed to herself so hard that she could barely get through the rest of her joke. "A pig that does karate?"

"What?" Jim asked as he pulled his car smoothly into her driveway next to Roy's truck.

"A pork chop!" She cackled and slapped both hands on her thighs and Jim couldn't resist a little laugh himself. He'd have to remember these nuggets of comedy gold so he could tell them back to her when she was sober.

"Okay, you are officially a comedic genius." He reached over and released her seat belt as she continued to giggle mercilessly at her joke. He opened his door and climbed out, making his way over to her side before helping her, being sure she didn't bang her head accidentally on the doorframe. They slowly made their way to the door to her condo and stood in front as she felt around in her pants pocket for her keys.

"Oh, you know what, I bet Roy left it open for me." She tried the door handle and the door popped open slightly. She leaned closer to Jim with the knowing expression of a child who had just figured out the answer to two plus two."Seeeee? I told ya!"

"Very good." Jim couldn't help smiling at Drunk Pam. She was a riot. But he hoped she wouldn't make another appearance for a long time, unless she had someone to look out for her. He gently reached out and unwrapped his jacket from her shoulders. "I'll see you at work on Monday. Make sure you drink some water before you go to bed."

He turned away to leave her then, but she suddenly reached out and caught his arm in both hands before he could.

"Thanks, Jim. See you Monday." Her voice was low and she leaned in close to his chest, tilting her head up to look at him. Time seemed to stop as she stood on her tiptoes and he felt her lips press feather-light against his cheek.

His eyes closed halfway in response and he felt his mouth go dry.

"Okay, uh..yep." He stammered as he carefully tugged out of her hold and guided her back toward the door, sensing his pulse quicken beneath his shirt. "See you."

Jim waited until she was safely inside her condo before he got back in his car. He sat there a moment in the silence, feeling the softness of her lips against his skin like a tattoo. A tattoo he never wanted to remove.