Hi, back with some more letters. I must warn you those two lovebirds are quite chatty, and this chapter is very long... ;D

May 1919

My dearest husband,

So, there we are, it's Wednesday and our first "date" has come and gone. You were here with me, in my room at the Abbey holding me close and your hands touching me in all those places that you know. It was… interesting.

She chuckled as she wrote the word. As if "interesting" did justice to how she had felt the previous evening. She completed:

It felt new, and exciting. I found that if I concentrate hard enough on my memories, I can feel your lips on my face, on my neck, nipping at my earlobe, and your breath in my ear. I can pretend my hands are yours, and feel like I'm yours again. It felt a bit awkward at first, and I am not as skilled as you are obviously, but in the end I think I managed to achieve what you would have. Did you hear me calling out your name? Of course it wasn't a bit as blissful as being in your arms for real, but well, I guess it's the next best thing, and it makes me feel better to think that at the very moment I was imagining my whole naked skin touching yours, you were having the same fantasy about me. Did you feel my hands roaming through the hair on your chest? My lips kissing your jaw and my legs curling around your hips? Please, tell me how it was for you.

It hasn't been that easy this morning to store all these images away in my heart, and focus on my work. I think Lady Mary noticed when I was dressing her that I was a bit distracted. She didn't comment though, bless her. I would have had a hard time explaining. Speaking of the family, there has been news yesterday. Lady Sybil has written to her Ladyship, announcing that she's getting married to Mr Bransonat the end of themonth. Her Ladyship, according to Dr Clarkson, is still too fragile after her flu to make the journey to Ireland, and it seems that his Lordship's acceptance of Lady Sybil's choice of a husband doesn't go as far as crossing the sea of Ireland to witness it. So it will be only Lady Mary and Lady Sybil going. They both asked me to come with them as their maid. I think Lady Mary also dreads travelling alone with Lady Edith, and she hopes I can play diplomatic go-between in the case of a sisterly feud… We'll be away for only a week, and I've checked with the visits schedule, it won't make me miss any. So I guess you'll receive a couple letters from Dublin instead of Downton. I'm glad in a way to be able to see Ireland, since a part of your family is Irish. And I'm glad too to be able to attend Lady Sybil's and Mr Branson's wedding. I like them both. Lady Sybil is a very kind soul. I still remember how she took charge of helping Gwen find a job as a secretary. And when he worked downstairs with us, Mr Branson has always shown himself to be a very decent man (I'll forgive him for that foolish prank he tried to pull on that general during the war, I guess he got carried away that day...). I hope and trust they will be happy together, and I hope in time Lord and Lady Grantham will come to terms with the fact that they are indeed well-suited. Lady Sybil, with her longing for change and her strong beliefs has never been one for castle life. I'm pretty sure she'll be much happier living a middle class active life. Anyway, I've got a great amount of work awaiting me until next month, since I must get both Lady Mary's and Lady Edith's dresses ready. Unfortunately they don't plan on brand new dresses, which would have been a task for the seamstress and not me, but instead they want me to upgrade one of their current ones. And then I must think of my own outfit. I want to be presentable too. So, lots of sewing planned in the upcoming weeks.

I look forward to your next letter. I love you, today more than yesterday, and less than tomorrow.

Yours forever, Anna.

x x x x

My love, my wife,

Your last letter made me so happy! Yes I heard you calling me in the distance. I felt your small soft hands on my chest and I felt your sweet lips on mine, and I tasted the taste of you. Your mouth tasted of tea and chocolate, your skin tasted of cinnamon and lavender. I felt the full roundness of your breasts and your hips against my palms. I ran my fingers through your lovely golden hair, and I remembered how I felt so complete every time you welcomed me inside your body, and how it definitely felt like home. I'm so glad you found pleasure in that experience. So did I. As you said, it's nowhere near as heavenly as actually being together, but it's the best we can hope for right now. I know I'll be there next Tuesday for our next date.

I'm very glad to read some good news about Lady Sybil. At least someone in this family is happy. I wish the best to her and Mr Branson. I agree with you that they are well-suited, and I hope his Lordship will come to see it in time, when he gets to know him more. I have no doubt that Mr Branson is a fine man, and I trust his Lordship to recognize it in the end. It's great that you'll be going to Dublin with Lady Mary and Lady Edith. It'll do you good to get some fresh air and see another place for some time. Please give all my best wishes of happiness to the bride and groom. I hope Lady Mary and Lady Edith will behave as adults and not spend their time bickering… I wish I could see you in your pretty dress. I'm sure you will look stunning, and you will outshine the ladies. I want you to tell me every little thing about the trip and the wedding when you're back. How are you getting on with the dresses? I hope you're not overworking yourself. I don't want you to.

Here it's about the same. Though we heard yesterday guards talking about cases of flu among other guards and prisoners. From what I understood, it's not in the part of the prison where I am, but in the part where they put the men who have already been convicted. I heard one inmate has died. I hope it doesn't spread too much, and not to our section.

I've been given a new cellmate. This poor child is only nineteen, and apparently he got himself arrested for killing another young man in a brawl. From what he told me, that chap had assaulted his sister, and it turned into a general fight between two bands. I hear him crying at night, and calling for his mother, poor soul. As bad as I feel for myself and our situation, I can't help but feel even worse for him, having to live with the fact that he really took someone's life, however good his intentions were in the beginning, and he will likely spend the rest of his life, or a good part of it in here. It's hard, living with the knowledge one has killed another man. I did it only in a context of war where it's "kill or be killed", and it still kept me awake at night for many years. Anyway, at least I feel a bit less lonely, because I now have this boy to take care of.

I'm counting the days till your next visit, and until then, I'll be thinking of you every day. My loving thoughts go with you, and my heart is yours forever.

John Bates.

x x x x

My dear John,

Please, be careful with the flu! God knows we don't need you being ill on top of everything. I pray to God every night and in church every Sunday that he keeps you safe. I'm glad to hear about your new companion. Well, not glad that he's in here, of course, poor boy, and for trying to defend his sister's honour, but glad that you have someone to talk to, and someone you get along with. Days must feel so endless in that wretched place. What is his name, you didn't tell me? I know in his misery, he is lucky to have found you as a cellmate, and that you'll be a real comfort to him. You are so kind and considerate to other people's feelings.

I'm sorry, this letter will be a short one, because I'm really tired today. It is already eleven in the evening, and my eyes are closing of their own accord. I am still working on the ladies' dresses, and apart from that, the family had guests tonight, so we had to make up the rooms for them, and we'll have to clean them again tomorrow. So I think I'll go to sleep very soon. But even though I'm exhausted, I still wanted to take a little moment to write something to you. I miss you so much. I can't wait until next week and our next visit.

Love, Anna.

x x x x

She smiled as he took his seat across her on the third Monday of May. He studied the features of her face with greedy eyes, as if to drink her in, to etch every little detail of her into his mind, to sustain him until the next time. She looked a bit paler, he thought. She was surely overworking herself.

- Hello, love, he said.

- Hello John. How are you?

- Well, alright. What about you? You look tired.

- Oh, it's nothing, she waved off breezily. I only spent a few late nights on Lady Mary's and Lady Edith's dresses. But I'm done now. Good for me, since we're leaving for Ireland the day after tomorrow… I still have mine to finish though.

- You should really ask for a raise, I persist. You're working so hard. You should put your feet up sometimes.

- Yeah, well, I didn't get to be head housemaid by putting my feet up, you know.

- I know, I know, but still. I'm worried about you.

- Look at you, Mr Pot-calling-the-kettle-black. Don't you think you're more the one we should be worrying about?

He chuckled. He loved his witty wife. He missed so much being able to chat carefree with her in the servants' Hall.

- You've got a point, he admitted. So, are you ready for your trip?

- Pretty much, yes. I'll get the ladies' luggage rounded tomorrow. We'll be off early in the morning, we're taking the train to Liverpool, and then a ferry to Dublin.

- Are you excited?

- Well, a bit yes, since it's my first time leaving England.

- Where does Mr Branson's family live?

- A small town near Dublin, hum, Killiney I think it is. Lady Mary told me a few days ago. It's on the seaside.

- Well good, I'm sure some fresh sea air will do you good. Please, enjoy yourself. And tell me everything afterwards.

- I'll try, she said, smiling crookedly. How is your young friend? Julian, is it?

- Yes. Well, I think he's adjusting somehow. Cries less often. Or gets better at hiding it, I can't say for sure. Look, it's him, four places on the right.

Anna looked sideways at the boy, who was talking to an older woman, presumably his mother. Her chest tightened at the frightened look on his sunken face.

- Jesus, he really looks like a child. Poor bloke.

- Yes, his case is another example of how one's life can unravel in a few seconds.

- I'm sure your companionship is a great support to him.

- I don't know, but it gives me something else to focus on than my own misery. Although it's a little more tricky for our Tuesday evenings, now that I'm not alone anymore. I must be more careful.

- Oh God, yes.

- Don't worry, I'll still be listening out for you. I wouldn't miss it for anything.

A faint flush coloured her cheeks for a moment.

- Me neither, she breathed.

x x x x

My beloved husband,

The journey to Ireland went well. I got a little seasick on the ferry, but nothing too serious. We got here two days ago, but the days have been so hectic that I have had a hard time finding a few minutes to write to you… I was so exhausted in the evening that I was asleep before I even touched my bed in the evening. Mr Branson's family is very kind and welcoming. They live close to the sea side, so we've taken a few walks by the sea. It is a beautiful country. And you were right, the fresh air is heartening. Today I went with all three Crawley sisters into Dublin, for the last fitting of Lady Sybil's wedding dress. She does look stunning. She is radiating happiness, and from Mr Branson's looks, I can tell you he is completely lovesick! Lady Sybil has lived with Tom's mother since they have arrived in Ireland. Tom already has a home ready for them to move in as soon as they are married. I told you I thought she would adjust to a more frugal way of life without problem, and she surely seems to have. She's as smiling and buoyant as ever. We had the pleasure to meet the whole Branson family, which is quite large… Tom has two brothers and three sisters. Three of them are already married, and have children of their own, so his mother's house is always filled with children running around. I must say it was quite funny when Lady Edith and Lady Mary were invited to have dinner at Mrs Branson's house, among the whole working class family. I could feel their uneasiness from miles away… But they took it all graciously, and were very civil. It was very obvious that Mrs Branson outdid herself to please them. On the other hand, Tom's older brother, Kieran, doesn't seem to approve of the "toffs", and didn't make much effort to hide it. But Mrs Branson soon reminded him of the manners she had taught him and he behaved in the end. Mr Branson and Lady Sybil both have had kind words for you. They both assured me that they don't believe for one second that you could be guilty of what you're accused of, and that they pray for your release and for your name to be cleared. Lady Sybil even took me in her arms, I must say she managed to make me cry…

Tomorrow night, since it's the last night before the wedding, Lady Mary and Lady Edith are taking Lady Sybil out to a posh restaurant in Dublin. The wedding lunch will be held in a restaurant in Killiney by the seaside, it is a lovely place. Lady Mary and Lady Edith are housed at the hotel above that restaurant. I'm being housed with Tom's sisters in his mother's house. They are very nice to me. I think I'm going to come back with at least three more pounds, with all they are trying to feed me.

Although this is all new and my days are quite full, don't think that I am forgetting you! I still think of you all through the day, and miss you so much. I would so wish that you'd be there with me to discover that pretty country. You'll have to take me to your family's home-town one day. I hope you are alright. I miss reading your letters, but I know I'll have a few waiting for me in Downton when we'll be back. I hope the flu has not worsened, and your young cellmate is alright too.

Now I'll go because Tom's sisters want to teach me a card game tonight, until the ladies come back from their restaurant and I go to the hotel to get them ready for the night. It's a good thing the hotel is very close to the Bransons house. Then I'll go to sleep, hoping to get a good night of sleep before the wedding. I send you all my love,

Your loving wife, Anna

x x x x

My sweet Anna,

I am so so glad to have received your letter from Ireland. I know you won't read that letter until you're back in Downton, but never mind. It makes me very happy to know that you are having a good time there, discovering new places and people, and enjoying the seaside. I'm sure the wedding will be a very joyful and fine day. It is always nice to celebrate life and love. I hope you'll have given my best wishes to the happy couple as I asked you, but I trust that you have. I'm very grateful for their kind words. I'm glad the Bransons as a whole are treating you well, and I surely won't complain if, as you say, you come back with a few extra-pounds. I will never turn down a chance to have more of you to love. Don't forget to get your sleep though, amongst all the merry-making. We both know you tend to get grumpy when you've not had your content of sleep! We wouldn't want that…

Here things are pretty much the same. The flu seems to have died down. To keep us busy during the hours we're not working, Julian and I have started reading the same novels and discussing them together. It's interesting to get a younger and more innocent mind's view on some subjects or stories. (More innocent of the meaning and sense of life I mean, because criminally-wise I am the more innocent one…)

I can't wait to read your account of the wedding day, and to see you again next week. I love you now and forever,

Faithfully yours,

John

x x x x

My dear John,

The wedding went well and I enjoyed it very much. It was not a very large party, most part of the audience being Tom's family and a few family friends. But surely a happy one. The bride and groom were glowing with happiness, it was really heart-warming. Lady Sybil was stunning in her white dress. They married in a Catholic church of course, so it was quite interesting for me to see the difference in the rituals compared to Church of England. There was a short bittersweet moment just before the start of the ceremony though, when Lady Sybil was alone outside with her sisters and me. There were a few tears shed over the absence of her parents. For lack of a male relative, it was Lady Mary who walked her down the aisle. After the ceremony we had a nice lunch in that restaurant I told you about in my last letter. It was simple but every one was very joyful and we had a very nice time. Once again it was a rather funny to see how the Crawley ladies seemed a bit out of place, but the Branson women tried their best to put them at ease, even if the men weren't always so thoughtful. I think it's good for the young ladies to get to know a bit of the real world and how normal people live... If I have to be honest, I must tell you that Kieran Branson, Tom's older brother seemed rather interested in me, and spent a fair amount of time trying to court me (in a rather clumsy and rough way I must say), until his mother came along and smacked him on the head, reminding him that I was a married woman (the large Branson family doesn't know about your current circumstances, Tom and Lady Sybil have not told them). I was grateful to her… Mrs Branson is not the kind of woman her children like to cross… Well, apart from this little inconvenient, it was a very fine day. We were even lucky to be blessed with good weather, which isn't that common here in Ireland. Tomorrow, the newly-weds will be leaving for a few days' honeymoon in the Connemara, and the Crawley ladies and I will start our journey home the day after tomorrow. So, I will spend the next Tuesday night in the room I'm sharing with Caitriona and Norah Branson, so I'm afraid I won't be able to do anything about our date. I will think of you of course, and of what we did together, but I don't want to risk them hearing anything I'd be ashamed of. So I guess for this time it will occur only in my head.

I've spent a very nice time here in Killiney, but I'll be glad to head home nevertheless. I'm quite tired even if I try to get my sleep as you told me to, and I'm not sure Irish food agrees that much with me, since I've had a bit of an upset stomach for the last few days. Nothing dramatic, but I'll be happy to get back home to my bed and Mrs Patmore's food.

I hope you're well and I'm looking forward to seeing you again next week. I send you a tender kiss from my lips to yours.

Anna.

x x x x

My lovely Anna,

I guess you're on your way back home now, time for your last letter to reach me. I was delighted to read your telling of the wedding. Though it made me a bit sad, because it reminded me that it was the kind of wedding I should have been able to offer you. You deserved it and I never could fulfil that wish. Another line in the long list of things I wish had turned out differently for us.I'm pleased for Lady Sybil and Mr Branson though, that everything went well and everyone had a good time. Less pleased to hear about Mr Kieran Branson's attitude towards you… Although I must say, a little pleased that my wife should be looked at with envy from other men. Needless to say, I trust you completely and it will never be a worry of mine that you might behave not accordingly to the vows we took together.Although I still struggle to understand what made you choose me, I know you are trustworthy and you would never betray our vows. I don't trust men as much though. I must recognize that if I found you beautiful and smart and kind enough to have fallen desperately in love with you, some other men might find you to their own taste too… It's bound to happen, and I'm so mad to be stuck here and not be able to protect you from those untowardly attentions. I hope that chap wasn't too tiresome and insistent, and I'm grateful to Mrs Branson for putting a stop to his behaviour.

I hope you can rest a bit when you're back home, and that your stomach gets better. If it doesn't, please go see Dr Clarkson about it. It is very important to me that you take care of yourself, and that you don't forget yourself while worrying over other people, including me. I'm already embarrassed enough that you have to use every one of your half-days to come and visit me at the prison.

I know your birthday is coming soon, and it pains me that I can't celebrate it with you. If I could, I'd plan a very special day just to remind you of how much I love you. I'd ask Mrs Hughes and Mr Carson for an evening off, and we'd leave the House in the afternoon. I'd take you into town, we'd have tea in a nice and cosy tea shop, where I could treat you with all your favourite pastries. Then we'd go have a quiet walk along the river, and I'd stop every few yards just to look at you and kiss you. I'd hold your hand and never let it go. Then we'd go to a nice restaurant for dinner, or maybe go to the pictures? What would you prefer? When the evening's over, I'd take you home, and when we'd have closed the door on the world outside, I'd take you to our bedroom, and I would make love to you late into the night. I'd worship every inch of your beautiful body with my hands and lips, I'd taste every inch of your sweet soft skin until you're crying out in pleasure. I would make you feel like you're the eighth wonder of the world, and for sure I would feel like the king of the world just because you're allowing me to touch and love you.

Well, I hope this can give you something to think about until we next meet, and obviously I will myself spend a few hours daydreaming over it. I love you endlessly.

Devotedly yours,

John.