May 1920

My dear husband,

For the first time in months, my heart is swelling with hope. I keep telling myself over and over that nothing is done, that I shouldn't get too excited, that we are far from being safe, but I can't help it. Finally things are looking a little brighter. After our talk yesterday, as I promised you I went to speak to His Lordship. He was very kind of course, and very interested by what I had to say. He listened carefully and was amazed by what we've uncovered. He was worried though, that Mrs Bartlett might not want to testify for your innocence, since she hates you and probably doesn't wish to see you released from prison… We agreed that we must get a sworn testimony as quickly as possible, before she realizes the implications. He told me he was going to telephone Mr Murray right away, and ask him to come see me, and you, and see what our next move should be. I am praying each and every minute of the day that this is going to go somewhere and that we are finally going to be able to prove that you did nothing wrong, except wanting to be happy… I'll write to you as soon as I know more.

John couldn't help but smile as he read her letter. Hope seemed to radiate from the paper and every line she had written, like a warm glow that was starting to fill him as well.

I am happy too because Johnny is getting better. He's starting to feel like his previous self more and more. I am so relieved. Every time he nurses for a good feed, or laughs at me without going into one of those heart-wrenching fits of cough, it seems to me I am breathing a little better too. I'll take him to the photographer some time next week, so that you can have a new picture on my next visit. I hope he'll have got his usual cheeks back by then.

In other news at Downton, Lady Sybil is very close to giving birth. Everybody upstairs is quite feverish about it. The London doctor has arrived. I have not seen him but Lady Mary says he looks very sure of himself. I do hope he is as competent as he is self-assured.

I didn't tell you about our new kitchen maid either. Her name is Ivy. She seems pretty good-willed, but Daisy doesn't seem to like her, though I couldn't tell why, since she had been asking for an extra pair of hands for months now… Anyway, I'll let them sort this out between themselves. I can't let myself be bothered by their little feuds. I have more important matters to deal with. I hope Mr Murray can make the journey up north very soon.

I was thinking about resuming our Tuesday dates, now that things have settled a little with Johnny. What do you say?

I love you, and I do hope soon we can have those dates in person. It does get a little old to have to imagine those things…

Your hopeful wife, Anna.

x x x x

Anna, my love,

It was so good to finally see you after those too long weeks of absence. I must say it warmed my heart more than anything. Your last letter warmed me quite well too. I'm so glad to read that His Lordship was attentive to what you had to tell him and that Mr Murray would be set on the matter. Once more, none of this would have happened without you. If I ever get out of here, I will truly owe it to you, and no one else. I know I won't be able to ever repay you for everything you did, but I promise I'll spend each and every remaining day of our life trying to. I'll wait eagerly to hear from Mr Murray. And I'm so glad that you shared those good news about Johnny. What a trying time it must have been for you. I wish I could take some of the burden off your shoulders. I'm looking forward to seeing my son's new photograph. I'm beginning to hope that maybe in the future I'll be able to hold him in my arms, and really be a father to him. It's the stuff of my dreams. Just taking a walk around Downton Estate, pushing his pram and holding your arm. It's what heaven looks like to me right now. Another heavenly thing would be, as you wrote, being able to be with you truly, instead of our imaginary dates. Oh God how much I miss touching, caressing your skin, smelling the sweet scent of your hair, and kissing your lips.

He sighed as he wrote those words. Would he ever be allowed to do that again? How long would he survive, hanging on to that hope?

I hope everyone is doing well, especially Lady Sybil. Maybe the baby's been born at the hour when I'm writing this letter. If that's the case, I hope mother and baby are healthy.

I'm longing to hear from you and Mr Murray.

Your loving husband, John Bates.

x x x x

My dear John,

Oh Lord, the most dreadful thing happened last night… Poor Lady Sybil died shortly after the birth of her baby. Everybody here is under shock.

Fat tears fell on the writing paper as Anna wrote those words. It had been a long time since she had felt such sorrow.

As Mrs Hughes rightly said last night, "the sweetest spirit under this roof is gone"… That is so true. She was really the sweetest person. Even Thomas is devastated, that's something to say about how much she touched our lives… It was all the more awful that it took everyone by surprise. The labour had been rough, and we had been very worried, since Dr Clarkson kept arguing with that other doctor, and doctors arguing rarely is a good sign. Dr Clarkson was worried and wanted to send her to the hospital, while the posh doctor from London kept saying that he was making a fuss for nothing and that everything was going fine. Finally, late in the evening, the baby was born, a little girl. We were all very relieved, and everyone went to bed. But we were roused later in the middle of the night, when Lady Sybil had a terrible fit, and finally died a few moments later. It seems she had eclampsia, just like Dr Clarkson had foretold, but they didn't listen to his warnings. It is all so horrible. His Lordship and Her Ladyship are of course devastated, and that's nothing to say of Mr Branson. Poor poor Mr Branson… Alone now with his baby girl.

John trembled as he read Anna's account, tears running down his scruffy cheeks. He tried to imagine how he would have felt if Anna had not survived their son's birth, and he knew he would have been only too happy to hang. He would have gladly gone up to the gallows, only to be freed of that suffering.

I heard he wanted to name the baby Sybil after her mother. Lady Mary told me Her Ladyship is taking the blow especially hard, since she had been virtually the only one who kept advocating for listening to Dr Clarkson and sending Lady Sybil to the hospital. Maybe it wouldn't have changed anything, but still.

In the middle of all this grief, Mr Murray came to see me in the morning. I told him all about what we've discovered about Vera's last night, and he told me he would try and see Mrs Bartlett as soon as possible to obtain an official testimony. He's supposed to come and see you tomorrow.

I'm sorry, I have to leave you now, I need to sort out Lady Mary's mourning outfits. Good Lord it is so unfair to think that a young and kind woman can be taken away from her family like that, in the blink of an eye. Please keep me posted on what Mr Murray tells you tomorrow.

I love you,

Anna.

x x x x

My beloved Anna

What a dreadful dreadful news. I didn't think there was much that could make me cry nowadays, but the news of Lady Sybil's death did. I can't stop thinking about her. A very sweet spirit, as Mrs Hughes put it. I would disagree that she was the sweetest, since I do believe your spirit is at least as sweet as hers was. But it doesn't matter. It is a tragedy to lose such a bright and kind young lady. I can't imagine His Lordship and Her Ladyship's pain. Or Mr Branson's… Of course it has made me think about how I would have felt if I had lost you in childbirth. I honestly don't know if I would have had the strength to go on living, even for my son's sake. They say time heals such wounds, but I can't be so sure. I wrote some letters after I read yours, one for Her ladyship, and one for Mr Branson. He had always been a good man when we worked alongside and we used to share the dining table in the Servants' Hall. Whatever his opinions are, he surely didn't deserve such suffering. I know he loved Lady Sybil very dearly, and he would have given anything to save her. I hope the baby is doing well at least.

I saw Mr Murray earlier today, we talked about your meeting with Mrs Bartlett and what it would mean for me if she accepted to testify. He assured me he would do his best to get a statement out of her as soon as possible. He is going to go and meet her as soon as he's back in London. I'd like to think things are going to work out for us this time, but I don't dare to get my hopes up…

Hearing about Lady Sybil's passing has made me long for your presence, your smile and your touch even more than usual. It has reminded me that life is short and hazardous, that anything can happen at any moment, and that I am currently wasting my own life, and yours too, in that rathole. There's so much I'd like to do with you, and to tell you, that I can't. I love you so much I feel my heart might explode. I'm looking forward to your next visit.

Your faithfully, John Bates.