June 1920

Anna's hands trembled as she fumbled with her writing papers. She has a hard time settling enough to write, and made two large ink blotches on the paper. She let out a shaky laugh, and threw the stained sheet away, before laying a new one on the table. She inhaled and exhaled slowly before taking her quill again.

John, my dearest love,

I have been crying and laughing, all at once, ever since I have opened and read Mr Murray's letter. I read and re-read it so many times, only to convince myself that I was reading right, that he was really writing was I was reading, that it was not another false hope. Finally, finally, we are going to be together again! I am so, so happy, although a part of me is still terrified that somehow something else will come up before you're set free, to delay or cancel your release. I think I won't rest for real before I can truly hold you in my arms. Will I, even then… Or will I spend the rest of my life, fearing every day that someone comes again to take you away from me… But when I talked to Mr Murray on the telephone earlier, he seemed quite confident that this time was the real thing. He told me it would take a few weeks before they release you, and I wonder how on Earth I will survive those few more weeks… I want to run down to the courthouse and harass the judge until he signs all the bloody papers needed. Oh my God, this is it, this is really it! This whole nightmare is coming to an end… You're finally going to be able to meet your son and he to meet you!

Of course as soon as I received Mr Murray's letter, I ran to Lady Mary to tell her the news, and she was so happy for us, bless her. I told His Lordship too, and he was ever so kind. He'll be very glad to have you back, for sure. Not as glad as me though. My heart has been pounding so hard since I read Mr Murray's letter earlier. These remaining weeks until we are finally back together will probably seems the longest of our lives, but at least now we have something to look forward to.

Some rather arousing images formed inside Anna's mind, and she blushed, letting out a small laugh. Thank God she was alone in her room right now, Leslie had gone out with Johnny.

Oh Jesus, I just had a thought about our first night together again. I think I might very well melt down. To think that we're done with Tuesday dates, and with those horrible prison visits… That I'll be able to see you, talk to you, touch you, every day and any time I want. I might burst with joy at any moment. I'll have to ask His Lordship about that cottage he had offered before everything happened, because I don't think I can bear the thought of sleeping one more night here in my little bedroom and you all the way down on the other side of the hall…

Anyway, we're not done yet with prison visits, so of course I'll be there next Monday, and we'll celebrate this amazing news together. I love you and I am so happy.

Yours faithfully, Anna.

x x x x

Anna, my beautiful love,

I just received your latest letter, and I had got another one from Murray yesterday too, as you did. I don't know that I can describe the way I feel today. Everything you wrote I feel too. Joy, hope, and the deepest fear that something might still go wrong and take us back to square one. I'm having a hard time processing the fact that we might at long last be near the end of that dreadful time. It's like my brain doesn't want to believe it until I am truly out and holding you in my arms. Finally, God-willing, I'll be able to be a real husband to you, and a father to our son. I can't wait to meet him properly, learn everything about him, and be able to assist you in raising him every day. So much lost time to make up for.

I'll never be able to repay you for the tremendous work you did to prove my innocence. I'm so grateful to you, stubbornly moving Heaven and Earth to search for the evidence we needed. I'm so lucky to have you. If my time truly comes to walk out of this wretched place, it will be solely thanks to you. I could never have found a better wife.

I'm thinking a lot too, as you are, of the moment we will finally find ourselves alone together… We'll have to make up for all those months of longing and frustration. I can't wait… You are right about the cottage. I too would find it quite hard to have to sleep alone in the menservants' hallway when I'll know that you and Johnny are a few feet away from me. I don't think I'd sleep at all to be honest… I don't think I'll sleep that much anyway, until the day they open that front door for me to go out and into the real world again.

I can't wait to see you next Monday. I miss you with every fibre of my being, every beat of my heart, every breath I take, every inch of my skin. I love you like I have never loved anyone before, and never will I love someone more than I love you.

Your grateful husband,

John Bates.

x x x x

Anna's smile was unusually radiant as she walked into the visiting room on the following Monday. She chuckled as she sat down on the usual hard stool, across from John, who had bright and smiling eyes too.

- Hello my darling, he said in an upbeat tone.

- Hello. So, this should be one of last encounters in this hellhole…

- I dearly hope so, he agreed. The news that I'm going to get out has started to spread among the inmates. I came across Craig earlier, and he shot me a very ugly look.

- Oh God please keep away from him. We don't want you to be involved in some kind of fight and to get additional time!

- God forbid… No, I'll keep my head down. It would be too silly.

- Yes it would.

- So, what news have you got from the outside?, he asked.

She beamed:

- Oh, about the cottage!

-Yes?

- Well, I didn't even need to ask… Later in the day when we received the news from Mr Murray, Lady Mary asked me if I knew where we were going to settle when you're back. I told her about His Lordship offering a cottage but that nothing was done yet, so she said we couldn't have that. She told me she would talk about it with His Lordship. And the next day, His Lordship called for me in the library and told me they were going to start the proceedings, so that when you're out, we can move in immediately.

Her eyes were shining with joy and anticipation, and John's heart filled with warmth as an image of domestic bliss formed into his mind's eye.

- So, which one are we going to get?

- Well, they won't move Mr Chirk or the Tripps, but Mrs Bow wants to live in the village, so we might get hers. His Lordship said he will see to it that things are ready when you come back.

- That's so kind of him. And of Lady Mary for taking an interest. And what about Leslie?

- Well, she'll move in with us I guess? I mean, after all she's done for me, we can't very well let her go the moment you're back.

- No we surely can't.

- And I don't think she'll fancy staying at the House if I'm not staying anymore. I mean, she does get along quite well with everyone, but she's not one of them, strictly speaking. I think she'll prefer to be with us. Though maybe it won't be for too long…

- Oh yes?

Anna gave him a knowing smile.

- So, who is this secret suitor?, he asked. Have you learnt more about him?

- A little bit…, she replied mysteriously.

- Come on, tell me!

- Alright, alright. He's one of the Bakewells' sons. She met him when she went on some errands in the village. He's been courting her for a few months it seems.

- Oh, nice. Which son? Daniel or Mark?

- Daniel.

- Isn't he the one who was supposed to be married before I got arrested, but his fiancée died of the flu a few weeks before the wedding?

- Yes, it's him. I think he is a good man. He doesn't seem to be the kind of person to mistreat or abuse his wife. I think they'd be rather well suited.

- Well, good for them if it's the case. If they can both rebuild themselves together. And it's good for your sister that she can build her own life, and not be stuck with us forever. But of course she'll be welcome to stay with us for as long as she likes. I will never push her out, after all the support she's given you and Johnny. I am very grateful to her. She saved the day for us.

- She really did. I'm glad we agree on that.

x x x x

July 1920

My dear John,

This is it, this is the one. This is the last letter I am writing for you to read in your prison cell. Three days from now, I'll be at the prison gate at half-past-six, waiting for you, ready to finally start our life as a family. Thank God Almighty, who has finally taken pity on us. I have been shaking in anticipation ever since Mr Murray telephoned at Downton last week to tell us a firm date had been set for your liberation. Mrs Hughes asked me into her parlour, a few hours after we got the news, to congratulate me, and I must say I melted down in tears in her arms. Last time I did that was after you had been sentenced to death… At least this time it was happy relieved tears. Such a long and tough path it has been between those two moments. I can't believe we've missed fifteen months of our life together, and for nothing! I went to the church yesterday, because I needed to sort my feelings out, and I ran into Father Travis, so we talked a bit about everything. I told him how I was sometimes angry about how unfairly you have been treated. He told me I should let go of the anger, and focus on being grateful for the good things that are ahead of us now. I know I must, and I try my best, but there are times when the bitterness comes back, when I think of all this time we've been robbed of, and all this suffering we've been put through, when we had done nothing wrong. I guess I must get used to the idea that life is unfair, and learn to appreciate all the good things in it. If life was fair, Lady Sybil would still be with us, and you wouldn't have been kept rotting in this prison for so long.

So, the good things: our cottage is ready! We'll still need to do some small refreshments like painting in the sitting-room, curtains and such, but it is fit for us to move in as soon as you're back! Mr Carson allowed Leslie and I to go into your room at the Abbey to take all your stuff and move it there. It's not a palace, but it's everything I've ever dreamt of sharing with you. I can't wait to show it to you! I'm so nervous these days, it seems time is hardly moving forward… I feel like the hours are longer that days, and the days feel like years. I'd like to be able to travel forward through time, to three days from now. This is silly, when I think over the fact that we've gone through fifteen months already…

I've told Johnny all about you, that you were coming back to be with us. I don't know how much a seven-month old baby can understand though. He's is usual happy self. He's starting to really crawl on the floor now. Oh, you'll see it on Thursday! I don't know if I'm going to laugh or cry as I'm writing those words, knowing them to be true. It seems so unbelievable. On Thursday, the three of us will be reunited. I sometimes thought it would never happen. I'm sending you three days' worth of love and sweet kisses, until I can give you some real ones.

Your longing wife, Anna.

x x x x

Her knees kept bouncing up and down as she sat at the rear of the car that had parked in front of the prison gates just before half-past-six. She had tried to stop, but it kept coming back, she couldn't help it. She had to consciously monitor her breathing so that her heart didn't go completely berserk. Only a few more minutes to wait, and John would come out. Or would he? She had had the most awful nightmare the previous night, in which a guard came out, instead of him, telling her that his release had been cancelled. She had woken up all sweaty and shaking. She was pulled back to reality by Johnny's cooing.

- Yes, sweetheart, Daddy will be here soon.

Leslie had offered to keep him, but Anna had wanted to bring him along, so that John could see him as soon as he came out.

Anna kept craning her neck to look out of the rear window and check if the gate was opening. At last, a surge of adrenaline rushed through her as she saw the heavy door moving.

- Let's go sweetie, she breathed as she picked up the baby and hurried out of the car.

She walked the few yards towards the gate, and stood there, biting her lip in anticipation. At last, his large frame emerged from the dark insides of the prison, and she slowly exhaled. At last, she could breathe properly. They stood facing each other for a few seconds, both faces showing a silly happy grin, John's eyes going back and forth between Anna's and Johnny's faces.

- Thank God, she finally breathed.

As they crossed the few feet that were still separating them, he replied in a husky tone:

- Yes, thank God. And you.

And he engulfed them both in a tight embrace. They both inhaled deeply each other's scent, but after a few seconds they were taken out of the moment by Johnny's cries. As Anna took a step back, the baby clung tight to her blouse, shooting a fearful glance to the unknown man that had hugged them so tight, too tight for his liking.

- Don't be afraid love, said Anna in reassurance. It's your Daddy!

But the baby kept whining and clinging to her.

- It's alright, said John. He doesn't know me after all. I shouldn't have held you and him so tight.

He tried a smile, but Anna could read the hurt in his tears-filled eyes.

- You'll soon get to know each other, don't worry, she soothed. He just needs a little time.

- Of course he does, he said.

She bounced the baby a little, and he finally calmed down. She looked back at John and winked:

- Might I at least get a kiss from my husband?

- My pleasure, replied John, bending over to kiss her on the lips, while being attentive not to overwhelm his son again.

And despite the suspicious baby, it felt as if Heaven had descended upon them.

- Come on, said Anna firmly, taking his hand. Let's get you home now.

Yes I changed the cannon line about the cottage, because how cruel was it to let them be in separate rooms at the Abbey when they had several weeks notice to have the cottage ready?!