"How much pain one person can endure? When the life gets easier? Will it ever be simple and easier? What is actually happiness? Love? Can love be enough to heal you from all the pain life gave it to you?"

Both Andy and Robert experienced loss. Both of them lost their parents and they only had each other. Leaning on each other daily. Pregnancy happened when no one was ready for the baby but they worked it out. They were really happy.

"I'm hating myself for this, but months ago I promised I will visit my old stations and gave them some training." Robert said as he gave Andy her plate with the breakfast on it.

"Relax Robert. It's only 3 days." Andy reassured him. "I know but I really don't wanna go but also can't cancel when they cleared their schedule for me. Ugh!" Robert signed and placed a kiss on Andy's forehead.

"Go, have fun at work and be careful." He gave her a look and put the car keys in her hand. "I will and I will. Love you!" She kissed him and went to work.

The same day Robert was at his old station. It was a weekend get away but not with his girl somewhere nice and romantic.

Back at the station the shift was quiet. Ripley was acting captain and battalion chief until Robert is back. The team was occupied with Vic and her ring. Everyone wanted to hear how Ripley proposed and to look at the ring.

Travis was assigned to AidCar with Andy today. Being with Travis on AidCar was fun, most of the time. Life couldn't be more beautiful and easy at this point.

Soon the call that will change everything came and Travis and Andy hopped on the AidCar and drove to unknown.

Robert's day was going pretty well. He catched up with the guys. Told them everything that happened since he was at 19. About Andy and the baby on the way. He exchanged a few texts with Andy but he was busy with work at the station so when he grab his phone he saw her message "Gotta run. We have a call."

It was the last message from her...

The call started like a normal one. They were called in as additional AidCar to already big accident. They needed to come back multiple time for another victims. The last victim they transported to the hospital was having seizures from his head injury. And while dealing with his seizure on scene a victim kicked Andy on her side of the stomach what caused Andy to grunt a little bit. Travis saw it and immediately told her to back off so he can finish her work. The victim came back from his seizure and was disoriented not knowing what was going on around him he pulled out a knife and grabbed Andy who was standing on the opposite side from Travis.

Travis immediately called for the officers that were already running towards them. They wanted to warn them that he was the reason the accident happened in the first place and that he might be armed but they were late as he already was holding Andy.

He was confused and disoriented but that didn't stop him. The officers tried to make him drop the knife and let go of Andy who was terrified.

The only thing that was on Andy's mind was the baby. Tears were running down her cheeks and she was shaking.

To make the officers not running for him and wanting to have better chances for an escape he stabbed Andy in her waist just under the ribs and pushed her towards Travis.

He catched her and placed on the cold concrete trying to somehow stop the bleading. Others came to help to put her on the gurney.

On the way to the hospital time stopped for both Andy and Travis. She was conscious for the whole ride. Knowing her baby was gone she couldn'tstop sobbing. As much as Travis constantly repeated the baby is going to be okay to calm her down, she knew that's not going to happen.

As the door of the AidCar opened and pulling the gurney out Andy lost he conciousness.

Hearing on the radio what happened, nineteen was already at the hospital. The hard part was calling Robert and telling him what happened. Before doing it they waited to see the doctors first. Andy was rolled straight to the OR.

Both Lucas and Vic didn't knkw what to do. Should they tell him now or waited for more information. Travis came to Ripley giving him Andy's phone and telling him that Robert sent multiple messages and that he probably need to let Robert know what happened.

"I guess I'll call him now." Ripley said and went outside of the waiting room. Vic followed.

"Robert..." Lucas said as he picked up.

Robert wanted to say something but hearing Lucas's voice and the way he said his name he knew something happened. Something that will change both of their lives.

"What happened?!" He immediately responded. "It's Andy. There was an accident on the call."

"Is she okay?" His voice was breaking. "We don't know. How fast can you come?"

"I'll be there a soon as possible."

A few hours later Andy was placed in a recovery room. Dr. Bailey and dr. Wilson came to break the news to the team. By seeing their faces they all knew it wasn't good.

Vic immediately ran to her room. The doctors didn't tell her and Vic wanted to the one to tell her.

"Andy..." Vic said closing the door. "It's gone, isn't it?" Andy said on the edge of crying.

Vic sat next to her and took Andy's hand in hers. "I'm so sorry..." Vic said with her teary eyes. "No, no..." Andy removed her hand from Vic's. "It can't be happening again...no!" She threw her head back on the cushions and started crying uncontrollably.

"Please go! I want to be alone! Please!" Andy managed to say.

Vic knew her well enough to know there wasn't a point of saying anything so she simply got out. Lucas waited for her outside to give her a much needed hug. "Where is Robert?" She asked. "On his way." Lucas replied.

"I'm afraid she is not going to let him in the room when he arrives." Vic said looking at Lucas. "This will hurt her way more than the last time." She stated.

Robert came running towards him as he spotted them sitting in the waiting room. "Where is she?" He asked panicking.

"Wait!" Vic shouted. "Before you go in... Robert, the baby... is gone."

"What!?" Robert asked. "She was stabbed in the stomach and almost bleed to death in the OR." Lucas said in the best way he could.

"Oh my... God. I need to get to her." He said with eyes filling with tears. "Wait Robert." Vic said. "What now?" He asked annoyed. "She will might scream at you and tell you to go or she wouldn't say a single word." Vic warned. "I'm sorry and thank you for telling me." He said and went to her room.

And there she was. Laying in bed on her side completely numb. Her body was there but her mind was lost. Robert stood in front of the door feared what he will face on the other side. He knew he wanted to hug her but he also knew that won't happen for now. Seeing her in pain made his pain double.

He slowly opened the door and closed it quietly as possible. He came to her and just sat there. Trying to take her hand but she pulled it off. They stayed like that for a few minutes.

Andy knew he will try to talk and give her comfort but that won't help. That will make this pain even worse.

"Do you need anything?" He got courage to ask. Andy closed her eyes hearing his question. "I want to be alone right now." She whispered.

Robert was hurt hearing those words coming from her mouth but he listened to her and he let her be alone. Closing the door behind him he was in the agony of finding hard to breathe. He knelt trying to find the air and just simply sat on the cold hospital floor. Sobbing. Holding his head with his hands between his knees.

Lucas ran towards him and knelt besides him rubbing his shoulder.
Nothing in this world will help them now. Robert didn't want to leave her even tho she didn't want his company.

He found dr. Wilson to ask her about Andy. "Uhm hey. I don't want to bother you..." he said. "It's no bother. I wanted to find you since Andy doesn't want to talk." Dr. Wilson said.

"Did the baby suffer?" Robert got courage to ask. "No. He was intact." She responded. "He? It was a boy?" He asked with his tears streaming down his face and Jo nodded.

"The stab wound caused amniotic sac to burst..." she stopped there not wanting to cause more pain. "Is she going to be okay?" he asked. "She will. She is. We fought hard to keep everything so she would be able to have kids in the future." Jo said.

"The future. Doesn't it even exist now. It looked so bright to them and now... What now?!" Robert mind was about to explode. His thoughts were all over the place.

He came in front of Andy's room and saw dr. Bailey inside so he got in for the second time in this 5 days.

"Hi Robert." Dr. Bailey said noticing he entered the room. "Hi dr. Bailey..." he said and sat on the edge of the bed.

"I was just telling Andy about her..." she started. "When I can take her home? Sorry to interrupt, I know you hate that."

Miranda smiled hearing the second sentence. "She can go home if she wants but she needs to see a therapist. This was a traumatic event..."

Andy was just observing and listening to both of them talk. She was barely there.

"I'd rather take her home first and then we will see from there." Robert said and Miranda nodded.

"Home. The place where they were so happy and now all that happiness is long gone. Memories. That's all they have now." Andy's only thought when they mention home.

She didn't spoke in days. A single word didn't leave her mouth. Robert helped her get dressed and they went home.

Entering the house she saw a balloons the team sent. She took a good look at the house. It was the same but it felt different. She took of her shoes and went straight to the bedroom. Robert followed her just in case she needed any help. She took new underwear and then went to his closet and took his shirt and went to take a shower. While she was showering he made her favorite soup and brought it to the bedroom in the same time as she was exiting the bathroom. With her puffy eyes she looked at him motioning a thank you. He nodded and left.

When Andy woke up she lost track of time. She didn't know what time was, she could just hear noises coming from downstairs. She came to the stairs to see who it was even tho she knew it was Vic and Lucas.

She sat on the first step and cupped her legs with her arms listening to their conversation.

"Did she said anything?" Vic asked. "No, not a single word. It's been days." Robert replayed concerned. "She will, give her time." Vic said reassuring him.
"Travis feels awful. He thinks he could do more." Lucas said. "No, no. He did everything right. He tried. She tried. It happened. There is no point of replaying events in your head. It wasn't anyone's fault." Robert finished and Andy ran back to the room but they heard her.

"We should probably go." Vic said. "I'm gonna see if she needs anything. She probably listened the whole time." Robert said while walking them to the door. "Call us if you need anything." Lucas said and tapped him on the shoulder and he nodded.

Robert prepared some tea and went up to see Andy. She was in bed holding a sonogram pic. The very first one they did. He placed a tea on the night stand, sat and rubbed her back a little bit. She gave him a sonogram pic and just looked at him. Robert took it and kept brushing his thumb over the pic.

"I don't even know if it was a boy or girl?" She whispered barely audible.

Robert was caught by surprise. Not by her question, by her speaking.

"A boy." Robert said turning to her.

At that point Andy got up on her knees and hugged him tighter as possible. They both started crying, comforting each other.

Later Robert laid down next to her for the first time since they lost their baby. He wanted to hug her from behind and pulled her closer to him but he didn't know where to put his hand since putting it on her stomach wasn't the option. He tried to find a spot but Andy saw he was struggling so she took his hand and placed it with hers just under her chin.

For the next several days Robert was occupied with Andy. She was getting better. She started to eat but she barely spoke. He knew she was struggling in silence and he knew that was the worst way of dealing with the grief.

After about 15 days she left the bedroom. To his surprise she was getting down the stairs while he was preparing breakfast. She sat on the bar stool and watched him in silence.

"Can you imagine 15 days ago we started the day the same way like today..." she said. "Don't do that..." he replied not looking at her. "Don't do what? Huh?" She asked annoyed. "I would rather not remember that day and I think you don't want either."

He was tired. Emotionally. So tired. Both of them were at a breaking point. Full of rage. They needed to let all out and this seemed like they started to do that.

"Suddenly you know what I want... Nice." she replayed. "No I don't! And is a big problem Andy. You won't talk to me, you don't want to have anything with me." He said with a little bit of rage in his voice. "I lost a baby, Robert. I did." She said almost shouting and point her finger towards herself. "We did. As much as he was yours he was mine too!"

"I was carrying him. I went through this twice. Twice!" She got up wanting to leave. "But this time you weren't alone. I was there the whole time. Sitting in front of your room praying you will need me. Instead you pushed me away every time I just wanted to be near you." He yelled. "You don't need a woman who is incapable of bringing a healthy baby into the world. I just cause pain and nothing more..." she yelled and left.

Robert was left speechless. He took his keys and drove off. He needed to calm down. After a long drive and long walk on hid way back he went to Lucas's place.

"Hey man! Got a minute?" Robert asked as Lucas opened the door seeing his best friend looking like hell.

"Yeah, yeah come on in."

Robert sat and Lucas brought them a beer.

"She finally started talking... well yelling. She said a lot..."

Robert told him everything that happened and in the middle of the conversation Vic joined them and told them how she was the first time it happened. So after all the talking it made sense to Robert the way she was acting. Wanting to listen to Vic he decided to go back home. He was on the edge of finding some place else to sleep.

Unlocking the door he found her sitting at the bottom of the stairs, back resting on the fence. Arms around her legs with puffy eyes.

He entered and passed her like she wasn't there. Took another beer from the fridge and sat on the couch turning on the TV. Completely ignoring her what wasn't his style. He was devastated from the inside but he had to do it. He wanted to show to her he was hurting too. Deep down he was pissed she always makes everything about her. First running into the burning building and then this but he knew she was more fragile than him and that this time she touched the bottom.

"Robert...? Robert...?" She said but he closed hir eyes trying not to respond. His eyes were full of tears and opening them he will let them all out.

Seeing his is not responding just closing his eyes she got up and sat on her knees next to him.

"I need help, Robert. I don't know how to do this anymore. This time I don't know how to get better. Right now my head is a dark place and it only gets worse, day by day. I have no idea how to stop the darkness from coming in. I have no idea how to save myself. Not this time." She started shaking.

"I just know that whatever I said before I didn't mean it. I want to stop hurting you and us... Please just look at me." She managed to finish before starting to cry again.

This was too much for Robert to handle, he couldn't ignore her anymore. Not when she just admit she has dark thoughts.

He pulled her to his lap and hugged her tight. She cried in the crock of his neck and he kept rubbing her back wanting to calm her down. He couldn't hold his tears no matter how hard he tried.

When she finally calmed he removed her hair from her face, cupped her chin and kissed her.

"I'll get you help. Just please let me in. Talk to me, share things with me." He whispered to her ear and she nodded.

That night was like the light came trough the door. She finally opened up and she was so exhausted she fell asleep in his lap and he carried her upstairs.

"Please don't go." She whispered feeling him tucking her in. "I'll be back in a second."

In the morning Andy woke up first and quietly left the bed wanting to let Robert get some decent sleep. She felt lighter after she let all out last night. Still far from okay she made herself go downstairs and prepare him a breakfast in bed. She made some orange juice, scrambled eggs with avocado and the beacon on the side. While she was getting back to the bedroom with the breakfast Robert feeling the other side empty startled from his sleep.

"I made a little something. I figure the breakfast is least I can do."

Seeing her out of the bed and actually doing something made Robert smiled.

"Come here. Let's eat. I'm starving."

When the breakfast was done they decided to stay in bed and cuddle.

"I found you a good therapist. I hope that's okay." Robert finally said debating should he do it or not. "You did?" She turned to face him. "Mhm." He replied and she cupped his chin and gave him a passionate kiss. The kiss turned into a hot making out but she backed off. "I'm sorry I can't." She said. "It's okay, Andy." He said caressing her cheek with his thumb. "I love you." Andy said caressing his cheek. "Love you more." Robert kissed the top of her nose.

"Did you make the appointment or..." Andy asked getting up to get the cream. "I did. This afternoon." He sat in the bed. "So soon?" She asked surprised. "I called her yesterday when I was at Lucas's and figure if you don't want to go by yourself I'll drag you there." He answered.

"Can you?" Andy gave him a cream to put it on her scar. She knew this little thing will mean to him a lot. "Of course." He kissed her scar first and out the cream on it.

"I know I didn't let you touch me..." she took his hand and hesitantly put it on her stomach. He felt her pulse was rising and her breathing was shallow. "There is no need..." he protested. "No, no I want to. I need to. You said sharing so I'm trying." She put a fake smile on her face. "Okay, babe." Robert kissed her. "I have one more."

"I know." He placed a hand on her other scar. "Thank you for understanding." She kissed him. "I want you so bad right now..." he whispered. "You have no idea how bad but I'm not ready. I'll definitely let you know when I'm." She kissed him and went to the bathroom and Robert threw himself back to bed.

"So what about we grab lunch before your appointment? Get you in fresh air, it'll be good."

"Uhm yeah. Let's do that." She said getting dressed. "Get up then and get ready." Andy said throwing his crew shirt and her pj at him.

A small part of Andy was back and the air around them got lighter.

"So how was it? Or I'm not allowed to ask that?" Robert asked anxiously hugging her. "It was okay for the first time. We talked mostly about you today." She looked at him. "I hope all good things." He kissed her cheek. "Are there any bad ones?" She chuckled and he hugged her tighter.

"She did ask me if I had suicidal thoughts." Andy said as Robert started the car and he immediately turn it off. "She was concerned will I harm myself as we opened some painful subjects and then I mentioned you and then we started from the best thing in my life not the worst." Robert took her hand and kissed it with his teary eyes. "God I wish I can take some pain away from you."

"You shouldn't. You have enough of your own. She suggested we come together when the baby talk comes. I agree because I'll definitely need you then. I can deal on my own for now."

"Then I'll be there." They shared a kiss and drove home.

As she was entering the house and Robert wanted to be behind her so he could grab flowers he bought for her.

"These are for you." He hugged her from the behind with one hand and with other put them in front of her. "Oh wow. They are lovely and my favorites. Thank you." She kissed him on the cheek.

She went to change and Robert prepared some snacks since he decided it's a movie night. She came downstairs and sat close to him. Soon enough she adjusted her head on the cushion that was in his lap and laid down. Robert's playing with her hair made her sleepy but she didn't want to sleep just yet.

"Can I ask you something?" Andy said. "Always." He replied.

"How can we ever be the same?"

"We can't be. The weight of what happened is too heavy for anyone to carry it alone. The only way we can live with it... is to carry it together."