Louie
The corridor was silent. Still. The only light source in the hall was the flashlight on Louie's phone, unmoved from where he had thrown it. The green-clothed duck wasn't sure how long he'd been sitting, statuesque and miserable. All he knew was that it had been a while, and still nobody had shown up. He was alone.
But the solitude had given him some time to think. Angst and anger had slowly subsided, replaced by doubt and rumination.
There was something about all of this that wasn't adding up to him. The adventure was rigged, that Louie was almost certain of. But he remembered the unease that he'd read from Scrooge, the hesitation… that wasn't the behaviour of someone who knew that there was nothing to worry about. The trapdoor opening underneath him didn't make any sense either. If all the traps were rigged, why would that one suddenly work? And the blood smear… as much as his family loved thrills, Louie found it very difficult to believe that their plan would involve triggering him like that.
No, he was missing something here. Something was wrong with this place, and he wasn't going to find out what by just sitting here.
Slowly, and with no small amount of reluctance, Louie stood up. He walked over to his phone and picked it up. The screen was covered with numerous cracks, to Louie's irritation, and cursory examination revealed that the phone no longer responded to Louie's touch. He couldn't even get past the lock screen.
"Fuck's sake…" Louie muttered under his breath. He couldn't even try to call for help.
At least the flashlight was still working. He turned down the corridor, and with the light as his guide, hesitantly pressed forward.
As he walked, Louie's eyes meticulously scanned the walls and floor for anything that could take him by surprise. Now that he'd calmed down somewhat, he found it much easier to find the various traps that laid in wait for him, stepping over a pressure plate, and quickly ducking past an arrow trap. He knew it was unlikely that there was any actual danger, but he didn't feel like taking any chances.
Eventually, he reached the end of the winding corridor, arriving before a wooden door. Opening it, he found that it led out onto the balcony of the cavernous main hall where their adventure had begun. He stepped out nervously, looking around the chamber. The bottom floor was almost imperceptible beyond the light of his phone.
"...Hello?" Louie called out. "You guys here?"
Nobody responded. But then, he hadn't really expected anyone to be there. Out of ideas, he turned to one of the adjacent doors and stepped through.
Predictably, it led into yet another identical brown corridor.
"…This is why I hate tombs." Louie muttered, stepping through. "…Even though this is a temple, but… whatever."
He slowly proceeded down the hall with no plan other than to simply keep moving until he found someone, confront them about lying to him, maybe, and then figure out what was happening.
Suddenly, he heard the distinct sound of scraping brick behind him.
Spinning around, Louie saw a section of wall about thirty feet back begin to pull apart, exposing a large hole that led into inky darkness. Emerging from this hole was a familiar, massive wooden boar. It glared at Louie with eerily empty eye sockets, with violet light shimmering from the chunk blown off by Dewey.
"…Hey, pal…" Louie stammered, nervously backing up. "I don't suppose you've been engineered to, like… back off at the last second?"
The boar forcefully pawed at the ground and snorted.
Deciding not to decipher whether that was a 'yes' or a 'no', Louie turned back around and bolted.
The boar gave chase, charging after him through the tunnel. The monster was fast, but it was also large, its unwieldly wooden frame grinding against the walls, so Louie figured it couldn't turn easily. He took the first side passage he came across, accidentally clipping his shoulder on the corner in his haste. He heard the beast screech to a stop behind him, but he didn't stop to look. He just ran as fast as he could through the corridor, eyes rapidly scanning for other side passages to dart through.
So focused he was on his escape that he didn't notice the ground disappearing underneath him until it was too late.
He fell through the floor with a terrified yelp, landing on his belly, staring down a steep stone decline. He began to slide down, eyes frozen wide open as he rocketed toward an opening. He threw up his arms to protect himself as he flew out, feathers and skin painfully scraping against dirt and rock as he slammed against the ground.
"Ow." He said, muffled.
"Louie?"
He lifted his head off the ground to find that he'd arrived in a circular stone chamber, with several large rocks around him. Inexplicably, wind whipped around the chamber, and about ten feet in front of him was…
…the rest of his family, huddled together.
"Guys?" Louie spluttered. "What- how-?"
"SILENCE!" Roared a voice, causing Louie to jump. He turned toward the centre of the room, where a large stone spire jutted out of a shallow lake. At the tip were swirling, source-less storm clouds with two pairs of glowing blue eyes piercing through the vapours. A large, brown-furred hand cut through the clouds, parting them and revealing the beings concealed.
One was a brown-furred bovian man, towering over them at a height of fifteen feet. He wore a suit of flowing, golden scale-mail armour that covered his chest and upper arms, and flowed into a metallic skirt covering his legs. A large, dark grey beard flowed down to his belly, obscuring his jaw and mouth. Two pairs of horns jutted from his head, which was covered by a golden, metallic cap. The Tyrian Cloak was fastened around his neck and flowed down his shoulders, having grown to match the figure's frame. His eyes, shining with iridescent cobalt and no irises visible, both were narrowed at the sight of the family of adventurers.
Beside him was another minotaur, female, standing just a little shorter. Aside from a silver band around her head, she wore no clothing, with only coarse brown fur obscuring her nudity. Her horns were shorter than those of the other minotaur, and they were adorned with grain stalks that curved around the ivory adornments. Her arms were crossed around her chest, but her expression suggested it was less for modesty's sake, and more for the purpose of intimidating them.
"…Oh. They're just gods." Louie said dumbly. He frowned. "Why does knowing that make this less intimidating?"
He heard a rumbling sound coming from behind him. Looking over his shoulder, he saw that he'd flown through a large gap in a strangely placed brick wall, seemingly built into the cavern formation. With a start, he realised that the sounds were hoof-falls.
Louie felt Della grab the back of his hoodie, hauling him to his feet and pulling him over to the rest of the group, just as the wooden boar charged out of the opening. It landed right where Louie had just been, snorting and snarling aggressively.
Even as the family turned to face this new threat, they heard another rapidly approaching. Spinning around to the cavern that led out of the cave was the giant, golden serpent, its scales cracked and parts of its interior exposed. It hissed viciously at the party, eyes shining with malice.
The male minotaur extended his hand towards them. "Driver! Chaser!" He bellowed. "Return to me!"
The two beasts instantly responded to the god's call. They each leapt into the air towards him, a purple aura surrounding them as their forms began to shift and shrink. The boar's body moulded itself into a thick wooden club, a stone embedded into its tip, while the snake's scales glowed with a bright, yellow light as it transformed into a jagged bolt of lightning. Catching both weapons, the minotaur swung them into each other, creating a deep boom of thunder that shook the cavern.
Louie looked around anxiously at his family, all still pinned under the glare of these intense beings. Turning to his uncle, he whispered frantically, "So… do we, like, run or what?"
"Not yet…" Scrooge murmured. "But get ready to-"
"Quiet!" The male minotaur snapped, leaping down from the spire and landing in front of them. The ground shook with his heft, and the ducks all took a few instinctive steps backward. "You are not protected by your arrogant fool of a god here! You stand before Baal Hadad, master of wind and lightning!"
"And I am Shala!" The female minotaur declared, leaping down to join the other. "Mistress of the harvest! We have been watching you closely, servants of Zeus, as you defiled our last temple with your very footsteps." She huffed angrily. "I assume it was you who ordered the spindly one to sabotage our traps?"
"Spindly…?" Dewey's eyes widened. "Wait, does she mean…?"
"It was just a clone, it's fine." Scrooge quickly whispered before turning back to the gods before them. "We are not servants of that idiotic immortal!" He snapped angrily at the deities, shaking his cane in defiance. "We haven't even seen him in close to-!"
"Do not lie to us!" Hadad bellowed, thrusting his club at the old duck. Scrooge immediately shut his beak. "Do you think we cannot detect the presence of Greek magic? Do think we are unaware of the holy symbol around that woman's neck?"
With that, he pointed towards Della. She blinked, looked down, and reached around her neck to pull out a silver pendant, shaped into a crescent moon – the symbol of Selene.
Scrooge slowly turned around to glare at her.
"It was a gift she gave me, like, twenty years ago!" Della snapped defensively, stuffing the amulet back into her jacket. "How was I supposed to know?"
"Yes, alright, we're friends of Selene." Scrooge growled irritably, turning his attention back to Hadad. "But we're still no allies of Zeus!"
"We're kinda his enemies, actually." Huey pointed out timidly. "We've humiliated him a couple of times."
Hadad raised his eyebrow at the adventurers. "How so?"
"Well, I think we beat him in, like… Ancient Greek lawn bowling or something." Dewey replied, scratching his head.
"Spheristics." Webby clarified before stepping forward to add to the case. "We also auditioned to take his place when the rest of his pantheon tried to kick him out."
"His own gods betrayed him?" Hadad exclaimed in genuine surprise.
"I mean… yeah." Louie shrugged. "He's kinda the worst."
"He's terrible." Della agreed.
"Awful." Huey added.
"A jerk." Dewey said.
"A buffoon." Scrooge concurred.
"Reading his myths makes me uncomfortable." Webby said uneasily.
Hadad narrowed his eyes at the ducks, as if peering through them. "…If you do not serve the King of Olympus… then why are you here?"
"Er… well… to be completely honest, we were hopin' to procure that cloak of yers." Scrooge admitted sheepishly, pointing toward the cape around Baal Hadad's shoulders. "Just to, er… borrow for a bit."
"…You came here to pilfer our last sacred artefact." Hadad murmured slowly. His eyes began to blaze with anger again. "Because what? You thought that my pantheon had not suffered enough?"
"I mean, in my defence, I didn't even know that you existed!" Scrooge said defensively. "In all my travels, I'd never met Phoenician gods! I assumed that you were- that- ahem." Scrooge suddenly became wary. "…that you were simply, ah…"
"...That we were simply pseudonyms for Olympic gods." Shala finished his sentence, her eyes cold.
Scrooge hesitated. "Well… yes."
There was a very long, very tense silent. Louie felt Della take hold of his hand and squeeze it tightly.
"…Well." Hadad said after a moment. "Perhaps that is not an unfair misunderstanding, considering all that Zeus has done to eradicate us."
He gestured over to his wife, who nodded and waved her hand. Upon her command, grain seeds fell from the stalks that adorned her horns, then floated on a sourceless breeze to form an image. It showed both of the minotaurs , standing proud among a small gathering of other bovian creatures.
"Thousands of years ago, when divinity was still young, we were among the mightiest of all the gods." Hadad explained. "Our civilisation, our great Phoenicia, had mastered technologies that no other in the Mediterranean had even glimpsed. Ocean travel, alphabetic script, our famed Tyrian purple dyes… the only things that stood out as threats to our rule was an up-and-coming god from the other side of the sea, in the land you know today as Greece."
The image shifted to show two figures glaring at each other from opposite sides of the sea – Hadad on one, and the portly form of Zeus on the other.
"While I cannot say that there was… trust… there was at least an understanding." Hadad growled. "Zeus and his pantheon would keep to Ithaquack and Mount Olympus, while mine would keep to our burgeoning land of Phoenicia. A mere century this agreement held, before Zeus made his ambitions known."
The image changed again. It showed Zeus standing high atop a mountain with a wicked grin, holding silks, spears and ceramic jars out of the reach of the minotaurs below him.
"There wasn't war, nor conflict. In some ways, I wish there had been. Instead, Zeus gradually stole the technologies that my civilisation created, attributing their invention to himself. Among gods, he fooled nobody… but the mortals were easily swayed. Within five centuries, and after countless occupations by our neighbours, Phoenicia had been almost entirely forgotten… while the accursed Greeks rose in prominence."
"…That's a very complex plan for Zeus." Huey pointed out.
"Even the most impetuous of gods can lay plans that take years to come to fruition." Hadad replied. "And Zeus is no exception. While the rest of our kin scattered to the winds, my wife and I hid underneath this temple, hidden from mortal eyes for the rest of time… until now."
The grain stalks vanished. The two gods refocused their attention on the ducks before them.
"…Alright…" Scrooge said warily. "Well… again, we didn't know about any of that, so… can we… go now?"
Hadad frowned, thinking to himself. He turned back towards Shala, who stood with her arms still crossed, unimpressed.
"Even if they are not servants of Zeus… They still came here to steal the cloak." She told him sternly.
Hadad nodded gravely.
He turned back towards the ducks and held his lightning bolt up high.
With synchronous cries of alarm, the ducks all leapt away from the javelin of electricity as it speared into the ground where they'd just stood with a deafening thunderclap. The ducks were fast to get back up, their faces all showing the fear they felt fighting a god.
"Wait, wait, wait!" Louie cried, quickly pushing himself up off the dirt. "You don't have to kill us!"
"We cannot let you abscond with the cloak, mortal." Hadad replied, readying another lightning bolt. "It is all that we have left."
"We don't want to steal it, we want to use it to help you!" Louie protested, quickly scrambling a lie together. "You said you hate Zeus, right? We can help you get even with him, get revenge!"
"What are you doing?" Louie heard Della hiss from behind him. Not having a good answer, Louie ignored her.
"You?" Hadad said incredulously, lowing his lightning bolt out of amusement. "A lowly mortal, help us?"
"Hey, that's… heh… kinda a big assumption to be calling us 'lowly'." Louie replied, his voice shaking slightly. "We've tamed harpies, conquered Atlantis, and we've defeated that giant snake wrestler in… uh… where did we do that again?" He turned to Huey and Webby.
The two history buffs were staring at Louie with a mixture of surprise and terror. "Uh…. Valhalla." Webby replied anxiously. "With the vikings."
"Yeah, there!" Louie turned back to the gods. "We're not just random treasure hunters, we're a big deal! And… and if you kill us… you'll be throwing away an opportunity to defeat Zeus once and for all."
The deities looked at him. Then at each other.
Louie swallowed fearfully. He could hear his own heartbeat.
Hadad lowered his lightning bolt completely, his gaze fixed squarely on Louie. "…Continue." The god said warily.
Louie took a deep breath, rubbing his hands together as he rapidly tried to figure out what he was doing. These two could smash him into a white and green pancake without even thinking, and if anything he said was misinterpreted, he and his family were dead. No pressure.
He quickly put together all the knowledge he had about gods. They were big. Powerful. All-mighty. Kinda big-headed. He needed something that appealed to this guy's ego, and to his hatred of Zeus.
He could work with this.
"…Okay." He began, speaking slowly, and trying to keep his expression neutral. "So… where we come from, the outside world… everyone already knows everything there is to know about Greek history. And… frankly? People are sick of it. Athens, Olympics… uh… Iliad? We've heard it all. It's been done to death… and people want something new."
They were hooked. The gods looked cautious, but they were definitely hooked. Louie allowed himself to feel a little bit more confident and let a slight smile show itself on his beak.
"Thanks to Zeus, people know almost nothing about Phoenicia." Louie continued, stepping forward just a few steps. "But if people could see this cloak, know that it was out there, it would re-ignite the spark for archaeology and history for Phoenicia. People would be clamouring over each other to see this cloak, and that excitement would spread all over from TV to word of mouth, to the very archaeologists who'd suddenly be inspired to learn more about your incredible culture!"
Hadad's expression shifted from intrigue to confusion. "…What is 'TV'?"
"Concentrated publicity." Louie assured him. "And that is exactly what you need. Because last I checked, Zeus has never been weaker. Nobody worships him anymore, his own pantheon hates him… you let us go, and you'll have the attention of all mankind. You'll be more popular than Zeus could ever hope to be."
Louie backed up and shrugged at the two deities. "Your choice. Kill us now, and you'll never get to see this happen."
The two gods shared a look.
"…What's to stop us from doing this ourselves?" Hadad challenged, an eyebrow raised. "What makes you necessary to us?"
"Well…" Louie thought about it for a moment, an answer coming to him quickly. "Correct me if I'm wrong, but you two don't know much about the outside world, do you? You could certainly try to win people over, but attitudes have changed. If you don't know how the modern person thinks, you could easily misunderstand things, and your attempt would have little impact, or the wrong kind of impact. Besides… if you're going to do it yourself, at that point you're just killing us for no reason." He looked at the god directly in his radiant blue eyes. "And something tells me that isn't your style."
The two deities were quiet, their expressions unreadable. Hadad looked to Shala for a moment, then back to Louie.
"…I will discuss this with my wife." Hadad said slowly. "Remain here."
He took the edge of his cloak and swung it around to envelop both him and the goddess beside him. With a rumble of thunder and a flash of light, the two were gone.
Louie exhaled deeply and stepped back, nervously twiddling his thumbs as his family swarmed around him.
"Excellent thinkin', lad!" Scrooge told him with a proud grin. "I couldn't have said any of that better myself!"
"Dude, you just saved our lives!" Dewey said eagerly.
Louie laughed anxiously. "Jury's still out, dude. Let's just see how this plays out."
Webby turned toward where the gods had vanished. "What's the plan if they say no?" She murmured tensely.
"Then we run." Scrooge replied. "There's no fightin' these two."
They waited in the chamber for almost a minute, apprehensive and ready to flee if necessary. Louie's gaze wass fixed on the spot from where the gods had vanished, trying to keep his breathing controlled and steady.
Suddenly, the two deities reappeared with a crack of thunder, though the ducks held their composure. There was a determined look upon both of their faces. Louie swallowed his nerves.
Hadad undid the Tyrian Cloak around his shoulders, throwing it towards Louie. It shrunk in size as it flew through the air, so that when it landed in the young duck's arms, it was just the right size to fit around his shoulders.
"You have convinced us, young mortal." Hadad told him imperiously. "We shall lend you our cloak, so you may do what you say you are capable of doing – but we do so on three conditions."
"Name them." Louie said immediately.
"Firstly, this cloak shall not be donned by you, nor by any other mortal. It may be observed, held, inspected even, but never worn." Hadad instructed him. "Second, we shall place an enchantment upon the cloak. This enchantment will allow our vision to transcend this temple, so we may watch and see if you are indeed capable of delivering what you have promised. Finally, you will return here twelve months from now, with the cloak, so that we may discuss your endeavours. If we decide that you have failed, then you will return what is ours and never return here again. If we are impressed by your efforts… then we will decide what path to take from there."
"…and if we break any of these conditions?" Louie asked.
"We shall smite you where you stand." Hadad answered curtly.
"Fair enough." Louie bowed a bit. "We'll, uh… do our best not to disappoint you."
Hadad nodded. Then, he summoned his lightning bolt and threw it into the air, where it transformed once more into a massive golden serpent. Louie felt a surge of panic as it slithered towards them, but it did not attack. Rather, it sidled beside them and stopped, waiting.
"Go now, mortals!" Hadad and Shala commanded in unison, dark thunderclouds surrounding them once more. "And do not return until you have fulfilled your promise!"
The ducks quickly scrambled onto the snake, grasping at its gleaming, golden scales. Once they were all upon its back, it took off, slithering down the tunnel, then up to the giant crevasse in the earth. It moved fast, speeding past a broken hallway and into the main hall of the temple, the family of ducks clinging on for dear life.
As they emerged into the temple, they could see that it was disassembling itself once more. Bricks removed themselves from the walls, floor and ceiling, before being flung to who-knows-where. The main doors to the temple opened outward before rapidly beginning to tarnish and rust into nothingness. The serpent swung out of the doorway and deposited the ducks on the courtyard before the temple proper, dropping them gracelessly onto the grass and stone before turning and disappearing back into the ravine, towards its masters.
The adventurers slowly stood up and looked around. The temple had crumbled back into the outline of a ruin, looking as ancient and untouched as it had when they'd arrived. They could see the faint glow of the sunrise, peaking over the horizon.
"…So…" Della turned toward the family. "One last time, is everyone alright?"
"Oh, yeah, totally!" Dewey said happily.
"Exhausted." Huey responded.
"Yeah, I'm good!" Webby replied brightly, rocking back and forth with a smile on her face.
Scrooge put a hand on Louie's shoulder, who was still looking toward the ruins. "And you, lad?" He asked warily.
Louie looked down at the cloak in his hands, light and silky smooth. Its golden surface glimmered in the faint moonlight.
He looked back towards Scrooge with a relaxed smile. "Never better." He told him confidently.