Chapter 14

When they touched down in VA beach it was early morning and the sun was just coming up as they stepped onto the tarmac. Jason hadn't managed to sleep at all on the flight, most of the guys seemed to have managed an hour or so but his head was throbbing constantly.

This trip he'd managed not to have anything blow up right next to him at least, that was one of the few benefits to training ops. They'd been back in Turkmenistan, this time it was pure training and not secretly recapturing a target from under their hosts noses which made it a lot easier to make friends this time round, Jason had to give it to them, he didn't always do well letting his guard down but it was hard not to like those crazy motherfuckers! And man could those guys drink, the whole team were feeling a little delicate after their send-off.

Jason wished that his headache was just a hangover but the hangover angle are least gave him an excuse to neck some painkillers without any questions. He was feeling restless, he knew training ops were all part of making friends with allies but he was itching for some real action now but instead they were heading home to the quiet.

Coming home this time felt different to all the times before. He was restless, he was tired, but he didn't feel the same dread of a quiet he had to zone out from with the buzz of a microwave. There was a different fear now, the dread of being alone was replaced with a fear of how to not be alone.

This wasn't like coming home to Alana and the kids all those times, because this was new and unfamiliar, untested. He didn't know what this looked like, a part of him worried whether he would even find Mandy there at all on his return. She was so much like him, a lone wolf, could pack and run at a moments notice. Would she bolt from the quiet, the calm and normality of home life?

Would she run when she realised the extent of how broken he really was? He wondered how much she'd picked up on for herself. She noticed things people didn't know that she noticed, that was what had made her such a talented agent. She just quietly sat back and took it all in, the things people said, the things they didn't say, reading between the lines. At first he'd got angry when she used her skills on his personal life, he couldn't hide behind jokes and bravado with her.

Eventually he'd given in and accepted that she saw things clearer than he did sometimes, he'd seen the heart behind it, known that there was a lot of her own truth and demons in the truths she shared about him. When she shared her observations about him, often she was sharing a part of herself too. It's why he let her say things he'd have punched another person in the face for saying.

He knew Mandy saw the forgetfulness, the headaches. She hadn't said anything about it, hadn't pushed. She was a smart woman, she knew the signs of TBI, they'd had conversations about it in the past and so for now it remained an unspoken truth between them, one he didn't have the words to speak out loud yet. He was grateful for the space to find his words on his own terms.

Sonny was yawning beside him as they walked to their cars. "Must be time for breakfast" Sonny announced as he patted his growling stomach and then stretched his arms out.

"Breakfast burritos, Blondie?" Sonny asks slapping Clay on the back "Come on… Stella won't even be up yet, let the mama-to-be have a couple more hours of uninterrupted shut-eye" he says seeing Clay about to come up with an excuse.

"For once I can't argue with that logic Sonny" clay says laughing. "Anyone else joining us?"

Brock and Trent both nod "count us in, I'm starving" Trent says

Ray shakes his head "Sorry guys I am beat and I don't care if I wake my wife up, I'm going home to sleep in my own bed."

"Ray's my lift, and I have a hangover to sleep off" Jason says holding his hands up

"Sleep it off my ass…" says Sonny "can't say I blame you though, say hi to Mrs Spook" he winks

Jason just grins and laughs waving them off as they climb into Rays car.

Jason pinches the bridge of his nose as Ray drives them towards his place, "not like you to have a hangover Jase" Ray says noticing.

"Not like me to drink like that Ray, Jesus, they drunk even Sonny under the table. That must be some kind of record"

Ray laughed "They were really something"

"So you and Mandy… how's it going? Didn't wanna ask in front of the guys give them reason to give you any more grief" Ray looked at him out the corner of his eye as he drove.

"It's all good I think…" Jason nods and smiles thoughtfully lost in his own thoughts.

"You guys talked about what's next? I mean I can't see Mandy being the stay at home woman for long?" Ray glances across at Jason raising an eyebrow

"Kinda. Yeah. I mean there's some things in motion" Jason replied keeping his voice neutral

"Things in motion? What does that mean? You've been spending so much time with Mandy, you're starting to sound CIA!" Ray laughs

Jason smiles "I'm on strict orders to keep my mouth closed, even to you. But you'll be the first to know if and when I can say something"

"Interesting…" Ray looks puzzled "say no more brother"

Ray pulls over outside Jason's apartment. "Naima wants to get you both over for dinner at the weekend if you've got some time?"

"Sure i'll check with Mandy and text you. Thanks for the lift." Jason says as he grabs his bag, shuts the door behind him and watches Ray drive off.

Jason let himself into the apartment as quietly as possible, Cerberus was already by the door waiting for him quietly, his tail wagging but he didn't make a sound, it seemed even the dog knew he wasn't supposed to wake Mandy. Jason could make out her shape in bed from here, she didn't seem to have stirred. He put his bag down in the kitchen and fussed over the dog for a little while, poured a glass of water downing some pills before walking over to the bedroom

He didn't put any lights on, there was enough early morning light through the blinds to move around. He stripped off his t-shirt, his boots and his jeans thinking about whether to shower, but he was bone tired and the bed looked too inviting. He carefully lifted the covers to slip into bed behind Mandy.

She stirred slightly as she became aware of him behind her and she instinctively moved herself closer to him tucking her head under his chin. Jason wrapped his arm around her waist and enjoyed the smell of her hair.

"Welcome home" she mumbled almost inaudibly, still partly asleep. He kissed the top of her head, held her close and shut his eyes.

He couldn't sleep on flights, he struggled to sleep in an empty bed surrounded by silence, but here surrounded by Mandy, this was where he could finally sleep.