This part in the story intersects before 5x10 but with some twists (an alternate reality of the current season 5 storyline)

Chapter 17

Mandy was swirling the remnants of her coffee around the bottom of her mug. She was sat at the kitchen table, Jason's kitchen table. Well, her kitchen table now she supposed. That was still weird to get used to this being her place now and not just Jason's place.

She wasn't sure what was worse, the wait for Jason to get back from base or thinking that he was going to come home before she'd had chance to properly sort through her own thoughts about this new situation.

When they'd talked about the idea of being able to work on base again, maybe even work together again, this wasn't quite what she'd had in mind, what either of them had in mind. She wasn't sure how much Lindell and Blackburn were going to tell the boys, these Omega off the books ops tended to stay tight lipped about everything until they were in-country. She knew only that the op existed and that members of bravo may be involved if they volunteered to be, and she was only being read-in on the fact their op even existed because it effected her own job offer and whether she would choose to accept it.

She'd been given permission to tell Jason that her op existed, only because it would be near impossible for either to make an informed decision otherwise.

She'd already been warned by Lindell that despite her knowing more about her op ahead of time she couldn't divulge any of that to anyone, not even Jason. As far as anyone was concerned she had a job to do somewhere and she'd be briefed when she got there. The reality was she knew a little more, and the little more she knew made her uneasy to say the least. She wondered if being ordered to stay quiet about some things made it easier, it gave her an excuse not to share details that she didn't want Jason to know. It avoided some difficult conversations. But Lindell knew this was information she needed to know, that she needed to consent to before saying yes.

Mandy had a different background to Jason, her value to the DoD and others was her ability to cultivate and leverage relationships. It didn't come as a great shock to her that this new offer would look to leverage relationships that she already cultivated, it did come as a surprise that the CIA despite everything was willing to let the DoD use her past covers in their off-the-books ops.

The CIA didn't want her back, but they wanted to make the DoD happy, and as a disavowed agent they didn't care too much if anything happened to her as a result, she was someone else's problem now. Unfortunately an Omega op meant she wasn't anyone's problem really, if the shit hit the fan she was alone.

Something about this scenario felt a little too familiar and a little too close to her experience in West Africa. Disavowed and alone on an old cover with no-one coming for her if it went wrong. She'd lived that one already and it was a miracle that someone did come for her. The thought made her cold.

She grabbed one of Jason's sweatshirts from the bedroom and pulled it over her, sitting on the bed she pulled her legs up to her chest pulling the oversized sweat shirt over her knees and legs, her head resting on her knees. She thumbed the light scar that still showed on the inside of her wrist, a lasting reminder of her captivity. Cerberus whimpered, sitting by the foot of the bed he rested his nose on her feet looking up at her with questioning eyes. She stroked his head "I'm OK Cerb" she said gently scratching his ears. He whimpered again as if to say she was full of shit.

She sat there stroking Cerbarus trying to work out how to tell Jason what she needed to tell him… ask him actually… without actually saying it. "Shit" she said to herself. "Shit shit fucking shit" she held back tears.

She could always say no. She knew that. But she knew that she wouldn't. Knew Jason would never ask her to.

And she knew Jason would say yes, if he hadn't already done so. She didn't feel bad about that, he saw it as his duty. "No choice in duty" he'd said to her once before.

But there were some realities of her old job that Jason never needed to know while they weren't together, unspoken things, the kind of things a CIA agent did to leverage relationships, female agents like her especially. And she wasn't sure how much Jason had just chosen not to know or think about. But the reality was about to come crashing into their new relationship.

Jason had sat a while longer at the briefing room table after each of the team had left quietly in their own thoughts. Only Blackburn remained with him.

Ray hovered by the door waiting "You coming with us Jase?"

Jason looked up and said he'd join them soon. He stayed by the door until Blackburn spoke up "Ray, actually would you give me and Bravo one a minute"

Ray nodded and the door clicked locked behind him with a beep.

"You weren't surprised when I called you guys in" Blackburn commented "I assume Mandy found a way to warn you without actually warning you… in that ex CIA way of hers?" he chuckled under his breath

"Something like that" Jason replied "Still not sure how this fits in with Mandy's job offer though. Don't suppose you're authorised to comment on that?"

Blackburn shook his head "Only she can choose to share that with you"

"But I can assume she is not being offered a straight forward role on base? And I can assume, since she wasn't read-in alongside us like Davis was, that she's not going with us?"

Blackburn tilted his head "Those would be sensible conclusions to come to, but I couldn't confirm them." He continued "Go home and speak to Mandy"

Jason rose from his seat walking towards the door. Blackburn rose too and before Jason left he said "I'm genuinely really happy for you guys by the way, I know you can deal with anything that gets thrown at you Jason. You've survived all these years of war together, that's a strong partnership"

Jason nodded and let himself out the briefing room. His head was spinning and he needed to see the one person who grounded him, he needed to see Mandy.