Tempting Fate

Oh, what Ralph wouldn't have given to be back home on his brick pile. And Felix? Well, Ralph could only assume that the little handyman was completely regretting coming along with him. The poor guy was holding onto Ralph for dear life. And although Ralph enjoyed the little man's touch, he felt guilty for dragging him into this death trap.

Ralph still had his little body tucked underneath his arm, and Felix's arms were dangling right in front of him, his face looking green.

"Ralph..." The handyman groaned. "I'm not feeling so hot..."

Ralph stopped running and looked behind him. "Just keep it together, little man! I'll get us out of this mess!"

Seeking refuge seemed like an impossibility. Almost every corner was exposed to the threat. Finally, Ralph managed to get behind the tall tower for a moment when a loud boom that sounded like an explosion went off and a beam of light appeared at the top of the tall building.

"Woah..." Ralph found himself completely mesmerized by the light and he could see that he wasn't the only one. The entire swarm of insects all gravitated towards it, their eyes completely blue and zombified.

Ralph had no idea what this game was supposed to be about, or why anyone would even think about creating such horrible creatures, but whoever it was must have had a very dark perception of fun gaming.

"Okay, I'm just gonna put you down now-" Ralph gently laid the poor dizzy handyman on his feet and he struggled to maintain balance. "You okay there, buddy?"

No, Felix was not okay. He laid one hand against the wall of the tower and the other held onto his stomach. "Gimme a minute..."

He took in very deep breaths from the core and straightened his posture. Then he shifted his eyes to look up at Ralph and gave him a thumbs up.

"Fit as a fiddle."

Ralph breathed a sigh of relief. "Okay, good."

To get to the top of the tower, Ralph needed to use his head. He could have pulled a King Kong and just climbed at the top of it, like any rational person would. Or maybe he would have to venture inside, where there were more of those... things. They were bugs, or they were machines. But they were most certainly not both. Ralph never heard of such a thing.

"To get to the medal, we have to hitchhike that entire tower."

Felix's eyes went from the base of the building to the very top. His mouth hung open and he stumbled back a few steps just from seeing how tall the place was. It had to be at least twenty more stories higher than the Niceland apartments.

"We have to go... up there?" His knees went weak.

Ralph looked down at him. "It won't be too hard. I can climb up the Niceland apartments no problem. This'll be a piece of cake."

"Maybe for you, but what about me?" Felix looked as if his face had gone pale, and Ralph couldn't tell if it was from the gritty colors of the bleak world, itself, or because he was about to faint.

"Just hold on tight to me." Ralph insisted.

Felix gulped. "I... I don't think I can hold on that tightly..."

"Yes, you can. If you don't want to, you don't have to. But I came here to earn more than just a medal. I came here to gain respect. And if I chicken out now, not only will the Nicelanders know about this stunt I pulled, but they'll use it against me." Ralph shook his head. "I ain't about to sink lower than I already have."

Felix looked back towards the game tunnel, which seemed a lot more accessible now that the bug-thingies were all cleared out. He was debating it, but ultimately, he accepted that this was the path Ralph would choose.

He sighed and hung his head. "Alright, pal, I'm with you. So, how are we going to do this?"

Ralph thought for a moment then held out his palm. "Gimme your hand."

Felix's cheeks were rosy and he did what he was told. Ralph grasped the tiny hand and hoisted Felix up onto his shoulders.

"Hook your arm under my overall strap." Ralph said.

"Like this?"

Ralph nodded. "Now whatever you do, don't let go."

"I won't..." The handyman's voice was weak.

And up they went.

...

Felix's weight on Ralph's shoulders was nothing. It was as if a tiny bug landed on him. Well, not like one of those bugs down below. If one of those landed on him, he wouldn't have been able to move.

He could hear Felix mumbling some words of comfort to himself as he held onto the big man. The poor guy must have been losing his sanity as they ascended further and further up. Ralph kept his eyes peering upwards. He wasn't afraid to fall off this building. If anything, he was more afraid for the things around him if his large body plummeted downward.

But tiny Felix was so fragile and frail. Ralph was worried he could break the poor little man just by touching him.

"Ralph..." He said in a very shaky voice. "I can't do it... I'm getting dizzy..."

The big man was about halfway up the building.

"You can do it, just close your eyes. Don't look down."

"Ahh... I'm trying. It's no use!" Ralph could hear Felix's teeth chattering from how afraid he was. "If I slip and fall..."

"You won't! But don't keep psyching yourself out! We're almost there!"

Felix dared to look down and yelped at how high they were up now. "Just stick me in your overalls!"

Ralph blushed. "What? No way! You can't fit in there!"

"Please, Ralph?" The little man pleaded. "Look, I'm small enough to fit in your hand! I can easily slide into there and-"

"No, Felix, I'm not putting you in my overalls. Trust me, that's the last place you want to be in. You're better off being in that trench."

Felix pulled on the strap of the big man a little too tight and Ralph's shoulder ached and his arm was tingly. Maybe Ralph should have stuck Felix in his attire, but he legitimately didn't think the handyman could fit in there. Even if the man was small enough to fit in Ralph's hand. Also, Ralph didn't want Felix that close to him because he hadn't exactly been the most hygienic man in this arcade.

For crying out loud, Ralph lived in an actual dump.

Felix hadn't complained about Ralph's scent at all since this trip began, and he wasn't doing it now. But Ralph assumed that was because he was too busy clinging onto him.

"Felix, you're kind of hanging onto me a little too tight there."

"But if I don't, I'll die!"

"But you're cutting off the circulation of my arm!"

Now Felix wrapped his other arm around Ralph's thick neck, even tighter than his overalls strap. Maybe shoving Felix in his clothing was the best option here.

Ralph groaned. "Alright, alright, climb aboard."

The little man squeaked with joy and carefully climbed over the big man, settling comfortably underneath the thick corduroy fabric. Ralph thought he probably looked like he had a baby carrier on.

But the handyman couldn't have cared less. He sighed contently as he nestled in the space and looked up at Ralph. "This isn't so bad, Ralph! You've got a lot more room in here than I thought!"

The wrecker rolled his eyes, but he had to admit that this was the cutest position he'd ever seen his secret crush in. "Yeah, yeah, let's just hope you don't slip out the other way."

Finally, the big man approached the top of the tower and there was enough space up there that he could stand.

"Well, we made it, brother."

Felix pressed his hand against the window in front of them. "That's the medal of heroes?"

The shiny object was floating in the air, just waiting for a player to grab it. But below it, several of those egg-shaped objects surrounded the entire floor. If they weren't careful, they'd have another swarm over their heads. That was the absolute last thing they needed right now.

Ralph popped his knuckles and readied his fists. "Here goes nothing. Shield your eyes."

Felix clasped his hands over his eyelids as Ralph smashed through the glass. It was much thicker than any window he's broken and it took him several tries. But eventually he got through.

Ralph carefully tiptoed his way over the eggs and Felix leapt from his overalls onto the floor, his knees bent and his arms in the air. He held his breath. They could have been egg-shaped bombs for all they knew.

"Why are all these here at the end of the game?" Ralph asked.

"I have no idea."

A holographic image of a general popped up behind the medal and the closing cutscene of the game began to play. If a gamer managed to get to this part in the game and saw Ralph and Felix there, that would have been the real apocalyptic event.

Thankfully, it was after hours and the day after that would be the weekend. It was just Ralph and Felix. And the shiny object floating in the air that would change Ralph's life and the perception of him by the Nicelanders.

Ralph could see how his days would pan out when he grabbed that metal right before his eyes. The Nicelanders accepting him, baking him a cake in his honor, getting pies, Gene being back at the dump where Ralph used to be, just wishing he could participate. But because Ralph was nothing like Gene, he would have let the small 8-bit character join, anyways.

Felix by his side as more than just a colleague.

It was right in front of him, but Ralph was having trouble taking a step towards it.

"Ralph?" Felix could see his mental turmoil and carefully stepped towards his way. "Are you okay?"

"This... seemed almost too easy. It can't be real. What if I take it and... things are exactly how they used to be?"

Felix gently touched Ralph's big hand. "It won't be. I promise."

"But I'm still..." Ralph gestured to himself. "... me. I'm still the same big lug that went off the rails and abandoned our game. I'll still be reprimanded for ruining that anniversary party."

"Then..." Felix thought for a moment. "I'll put in a good word for you. I'll make sure they don't forget that you defended me against those monsters. And that you've earned that medal fair and square because you are a hero."

Ralph was so touched by Felix's words, that he had to resist grabbing him by his work shirt and smashing their lips together. He still wasn't sure if Felix felt the same way. Even if Felix did seem to be more physical with Ralph than before, Ralph knew that the little guy was more affectionate towards his friends - male and female - than the average person.

Would being together have made things more complicated for them? Would the Nicelanders approve of their relationship? A bad guy and a good guy together. It seemed almost impossible that two people with opposite codes could have feelings for each other. It was unheard of to the rest of the arcade.

And it seemed that the Nicelanders - specifically Gene - would not be having it. Gene would say "Bad guys should stay with bad guys, where they belong". If Gene knew the truth of what Ralph and Felix did before this took place, Ralph would have been thrown off the building without a Quarter Alert.

Ralph shook off the muck in his mind, puffed out his chest, and marched forward. And once the medal slid onto his neck, he knew he made the right choice.

The holographic soldiers saluted him and congratulated him, and the big man was almost dizzy from how excited and happy he felt. Felix stood in the distance, smiling and saluting him along with the others. The wrecker counted himself lucky to have such a great person by his side through all of this.

"We did it, Felix!"

"We sure did, brother."

Ralph held out his hand. "Up top."

But instead of giving him a high five, the little man leapt onto the big man, his hands hanging onto Ralph's shoulders and his cheek pressed against the wrecker's chest. Ralph's heart almost burst. Felix was giving him affection this time. And Ralph didn't care if it was supposed to be a friendly gesture.

He was grateful for what he could get.

Ralph scooped up Felix's tiny body in his big arms and held him close. He could feel Felix nuzzling his cheek against him. The doubts in Ralph's head vanished. And he wished so badly that this wonderful moment between them would last forever.

But much like the first time, it didn't.

The terrifying shriek of an alarm went off and the entire room was cast with a red glow.

Ralph released Felix and looked up. "What's going on now?"

"I don't know..." Felix took several steps back and bumped into one of the eggs. Both men realized it and gazed down at the egg as it glowed and the shells broke apart. They were completely frozen in their places and in hopes that it was the only one that had hatched.

The tiny bug popped out and stared up at the big man. Ralph was about to slam his fist down, but off in the distance, he could hear the sound of several voices calling out to each other. The bug took this moment to latch onto Ralph's face.

The wrecker thrashed and stumbled and tried to pull the creature off his face, but it was no use.

"Get it off!" He said, almost completely muffled by the bug.

"Ralph, stop moving!" Felix was trying to be careful and at the same time preventing himself from touching the rest of them. He could already start to see more of them hatching from Ralph's clumsy steps.

As Felix heard the sound of the voices drawing nearer, he saw the big man fall backwards into a small space lodged into the wall and the words "escape pod activated" were spoken by a robotic voice.

And before he could second-guess it, Felix sprinted forward and hopped into the pod with Ralph and the creature before it blasted off from the building towards who knew where in this dark hellscape.

AN: I love the AU fanart with Ralph and Felix in a Titanic setting. It's my favorite alternative storyline. I wish someone drew an actual comic for the whole entire story of Titanic with them in it. I would read the shite out of that.

Also, I know that Disney Wii games are infamous for their less-than-stellar production and gameplay, but I love the one for WIR because it has Felix and Ralph working together, which is something I now realized I love the idea of. I wish there were more canon stories with them working as a team. It would totally make my day.