Shake On It

A safe distance away from the mountain, in the candy-coated castle, there was a pair of eyes watching over a small crystal ball. In the clear glass, he could see two very foolish men running across the lollipop fields as they were chased by a rabid animal.

This figure who had been keeping an eye on them since they first entered the game, laughed in the empty throne room. It was actually his animal who had been chasing the two towards the end of the map.

His name was King Candy, and he was a well-respected character in this game.

"I can see that my beloved pet is doing what he does best." King Candy mumbled to himself, snickering. "Nobody dares to enter my kingdom without my permission!"

There was a knock on the other side of the giant chocolate doors.

"Sour Bill!" King Candy called out to his servant. "Get the door!"

"Yes, King Candy." The green servant answered, in a very unenthusiastic, monotone voice.

In came two pastry police officers. They removed their caps and bowed before their ruler.

"Your Grace."

"As you were, Duncan and Wynchel." King Candy hopped from his throne over to where his two visitors were standing. "What news have you brought? And this better be good! My kart needs a little polishing before tomorrow's race!"

Both police officers gazed at each other and one of them stepped forward, clearing his throat, and spoke.

"We've found something that may be of interest to you, Your Grace."

"Ooh, a shiny new toy for my ginormous toybox?"

"We aren't exactly sure how to identify it."

King Candy grinned widely.

"Well, then, what are you waiting for? Show me the thing that's important enough to interrupt my live television broadcast!"

They led him towards the third largest room in the castle, which was the garage. Aside from Royal Racer, King Candy's white marzipan kart, there was an entire workshop filled with repair tools, spare tires, and replacement parts. Two other servants, Butterscotch repairmen, had been cleaning off the kart for possibly the hundredth time that day.

King Candy rarely made any improvements to his own kart. If there was any work to be done in this castle, it was done by the help.

The ruler pointed towards them. "You two! Go on your break! Now!"

The butterscotch candies nodded fearfully and hurried out of the room. It was the only time of the day King Candy had issued a break to anyone, and it was most likely going to be the last.

Next to the kart was a space reserved for anything that was at least ten times larger than his vehicle. It was enough to fit multiple uni-candy-corns. There was a secret door that looked like it was just another part of the castle wall that only opened by activating a button on the inside of the garage.

"We found it near the candy cane forest." Duncan said.

The doors opened and two CLAW officers brought in a caged creature that had never been seen before. But its outer shell looked like it could have blended in with the game's environment.

It was a bug several times larger than King Candy, himself, and each of its six legs were tied down with thick taffy ropes. It was colored pink and yellow, similar to the trees out in the forest.

"Ooh, it's been such a long time since we've had a little excitement in my court!" King Candy stepped forward.

"Sir!" One of the officers said. "It's not safe!"

But the ruler didn't seem to hear him as he drew nearer to the bug. The monster hissed at him and reared its razor-sharp teeth. But it did not attack him. Even as he laid a hand on the cage itself.

"Yes, it seems we understand each other." King Candy mumbled to himself. Several of the officers stood back and reached for their individual weapons.

"Should we get rid of it, sir?"

King Candy spun around. "Don't be silly, my good men! This monstrosity is a guest in my castle! It would be rude of us not to offer it our humble services."

Walking past one of the CLAWs, the ruler plucked a loose piece of his pastry skin and walked back up towards the bug. The officer winced, but did not make a sound.

King Candy offered the part of his officer to the bug and the monster graciously accepted it. The consumption of it turned the bug a different color.

"We aren't sure how to prevent it from terrorizing the entire kingdom."

The ruler looked back over his shoulder with a malicious grin on his face.

"And why would we need to do that, my loyal fellow? Why, if anything, this creature would be a wonderful addition to our police force. Wouldn't you all agree?"

The other nodded reluctantly. But King Candy didn't pay any mind to their subtle insolence. He was much too excited about the newest asset to his collection. And he was already thinking of ways to utilize it in the most sufficient way possible.

The little black-haired girl stomped her boot.

"You guys can't just come in here and steal my home! I was here first!"

Ralph stepped forward, fuming on the inside.

"Look here, you rotten little thief, we're not here to take your precious dump away from you. Believe me I've seen better dumps!" He crossed his arms. "You're the one who took my medal from me and I want it back!"

The girl wiped her face with the back of her worn out sleeve and turned away.

"I don't have it anymore."

Ralph clenched his enormous fists and looked as if he was about to smash the place up.

"What do you mean you don't have it anymore?" He asked through his teeth.

The child was not phased by his size or his hostility.

"I mean," She began. "I borrowed your stupid medal so I can win me a place in the race and now I don't have it anymore." She turned to the broken pieces of her vehicle. "Now get out of here and find your own hovel to call home."

Ralph growled and marched right up to her. "You better tell me how and where to get it right now, little girl! I ain't leaving this spot until you answer my questions!"

She was in dismay and was looking down at the loose pieces of candy with saddened eyes. His question remained in the air while she silently analyzed each piece.

"Hey, are you listening to me?! I'm speaking to you!"

The girl rolled her eyes and stood up. "Unless you've got a shiny new kart in the fat folds of your neck, I can't help you!"

The wrecker was about ready to strangle her, but realizing that he could, he stormed off into the corner and began punching the peanut brittle walls.

"Ralph!" Felix called after him, but didn't go near. When the big guy was in one of his moods, it was best to stay clear. Even Felix couldn't have talked sense into him then.

"What a baby," the little girl said. "Is he always that big of a whiner?"

"Um..." Felix began, watching the big man destroy parts of the wall from the side. "... Sometimes."

He didn't want to put Ralph on the spot like that, but he also wasn't one to lie. When Ralph slammed his fist into the ground, there was a loud boom and sizzle that erupted from the other side of the mountain. The floor shook beneath them.

"What was that?" Felix asked, a little frightened by the noise.

"Oh," The little girl hopped from her spot on the ground and walked forward. "Come here, I'll show you."

She led them towards a hot spring with a wafer sign that said Diet Cola Hot Springs. Atop of it were long layers of mentos stacked against each other. The cola beneath it was boiling and the temperature had gone up significantly once they were near it. Felix shuddered to think about what would happen if he accidentally fell in.

Two long stilts made out of pretzels and a broken down platform towered over them.

"Stay away from those hot springs," The girl said. "That cola is so hot, it'll melt your skin off."

Felix cringed.

"What is this place, anyway?" Ralph asked as he observed the mentos. Each time one of them fell, a big splash emerged from the springs and singed a small part of the ground. Now it made even less sense why anyone would want to make this place their home.

The child shrugged her shoulders. "Think this was supposed to be some kind of bonus level, or something like that. I don't know. I just thought it was a cool place to hang out."

She sat down on her sponge cake bed and examined her cut. There was a small box on the shelf that she grabbed and opened.

"Well, guess I'm out of bandages." She mumbled to herself.

Felix walked over to her side. "I can help you out, little miss."

The girl closed the box and put it back on the shelf.

"I'm fine. I don't need any help." She said. "It'll go away on its own."

Felix had heard that before.

"I can make it go away much faster."

The girl eyed him suspiciously. "How?"

Felix proudly brought out his hammer.

"How is hitting it going to make it any better?"

The handyman chuckled. "My dear child, this isn't just any old hammer! Watch!"

He lightly tapped it against her knee and its iconic tune rang in the air. The wound and leggings were both tended.

"Woah," She shook her leg. "How'd you do that?"

Felix twirled it in his hand. "Just a little hint of magic."

Ralph sauntered over to them and plopped down on the ground, his face still seething with rage.

"Felix, don't help her out. She doesn't deserve it after that little stunt she pulled."

The girl stood and pointed at herself with her thumb. "Hey, at least when I lose something, I'm not throwing a massive tantrum and smashing up someone else's only home, Diaper-Baby."

Ralph spit at the ground and turned away from her.

"Leave me alone. You don't know what that thing actually meant to me."

"You're right, I don't." She sat down on the giant cake and crossed her arms. "And I don't care."

Felix hated being caught in the middle of an argument like this. Especially when he knew he could have resolved it. The problem was trying to support both parties while also not upsetting either of them.

Sometimes, being neutral just made everyone angrier.

"Well," Felix began. "Listen, little girl, we-"

"Stop calling me that!" She snapped. "My name is Vanellope." She looked at them skeptically. "You guys aren't friends of King Candy's are you?"

Felix shook his head.

"Can't say I've ever heard of him."

She hugged her knees close to her chest.

"That's a good thing."

"As I was saying," He continued. "We've kind of been busting our little bees getting that medal, and it's a really important thing to Ralph, here. We're terribly sorry about barging uninvited into your home, but we were on the run from a mangy beast."

Vanellope listened intently.

"I don't suppose you'd want to lend us a hand here in getting back our prized possession, would you?"

After a moment of contemplation, The girl's large eyes lowered and she let out a long sigh.

"Alright, fine." She hopped off her sponge cake bed and walked over to Ralph. "Okay, Chumbo, I couldn't care less that you're throwing a hissy fit over a lame piece of gold, but your good pal over there- what's your name, sir?"

"Felix."

"Right. Your buddy, Felix, seems to be way cooler than you. So I'll make you guys a little deal." Ralph half-turned to listen. "You help me get a new kart so I can win the race, and I'll get you your medal back."

"Hah!" Ralph stood up. "You want us to help you?" He spat out the last word with malice. "I'd rather fall into that cola hot springs!"

"Come on, Ralph." Felix pleaded.

"Nope. Not gonna happen."

"All you have to do is wreck something for me, Chuckles." Vanellope said. "It's as easy as pie."

Ralph didn't seem like he was going to let Vanellope's actions slide, but when he looked over at Felix's puppy-dog eyes, he couldn't resist. And he knew that helping the little girl would possibly his only chance at receiving his medal. There was no way he was putting himself or Felix through the trials of Hero's Duty again.

"Ah! You better win, you little sugar junky." He finally said.

Vanellope smirked. "I plan to." And she appeared in between the two and held them both as close to her as she could. Well, it was more like she was holding Ralph's huge arm and Felix's tiny body. "Gentlemen, I think this is the start of a beautiful friendship."

Ralph gave her the most sarcastic laugh he could have given anyone.

"Don't push it."

AN: And thus, the three Musketeers.