Warning: Major smut in this.

Just a reminder: Don't like, get the f*ck out.

Like: Enjoy ;)

Lover's Quarrel

"Criminy, Ham Hands, are you okay?" Vanellope's worried voice resonated in his ears.

"I'm fine..." Ralph moaned, dropping to one knee. He'd felt pain before, but nothing like this. It was a mix between a numb, tingly feeling like one of his limbs falling asleep, and like a big paper cut.

How was it that he was struck by something he couldn't have seen? It wasn't impossible, but it was highly unlikely. He'd seen everything that could have nicked him in the side.

Unless...

Ralph turned his head to the pink racer right behind him, who had suddenly gone silent. She exchanged an awkward glance with him and shoved her hands in her pockets.

And his eyes went to the little handyman that appeared in front of him, already holding his golden tool in hand.

"I'll fix you up, Ralph," he said. But tapping it against the wound didn't do anything. The pixels surrounding it fizzled and resettled back onto his skin. Felix took a step back, his face suddenly going white. "Jiminy jaminy..."

They all turned to the approaching crowd from the castle, which they now realized they hadn't gotten too far from. Calhoun straightened up and stomped over to Ralph, and in response, the big man stumbled backwards.

Without a word, Calhoun took one of his arms and wrapped it around her shoulders, and helped lessen the amount of weight he was putting on his weaker side. Because she did that, Ralph felt like his entire body was near weightless. Astonished, Ralph stared at her with his jaw hanging.

"No time for lollygagging." She declared in her typical firm tone. "Let's amscray."

Felix did his part by holding Ralph's hand and placing it around his tiny shoulders. "Hold on, Ralph, we'll get you out of this mess."

Vanellope trudged forward, motioning for them to follow in her direction. "I know another place to hide."

"Do you just burrow your way throughout this entire map?" Calhoun asked, out of genuine curiosity.

"Well, duh!" Vanellope responded. "How else am I going to avoid my adoring fans?"

Before they moved forward, Calhoun noticed that Ralph's face was practically glued to her form, and immediately looked to the side, saying, "Please stop looking at me like that when you're this close to me."

Ralph turned his head away, and said in a quiet tone, "You really are as jacked as you look."

Calhoun rolled her eyes, like she'd heard such comments before. "Oh, shut up and give me a hand here. You're heavier than you look."

...

The little girl in the mint sweater led them through a detour, where the road became bumpier with chunks of rock candy shards, Mike and Ike's, and broken pieces of kart tires all wedged into the ground. It looked as if the dirt had blown over from a strong wind storm and buried the pieces of junk and possibly things that used to be alive.

The sky had become darker the further they went, which gave each of them as ominous of a feeling as back when they were in the dungeon. And as soon as Vanellope stopped walking, they were facing a tall mountain towering over the rest of the kingdom. With an entrance that looked pitch black from where they stood. Above it, a cloud spiraled around the tallest peak.

It looked like the kind of place a dragon would be residing out of a fairytale book.

"Kid," Calhoun said. "Please tell me you didn't just lead us into another lion's den."

"Relax, serge," The racer said with her hands on her hips. "It may look scary, but I swear to you this is the second safest place we can be right now."

There was no place to argue, and once they went inside, it did look much less intimidating than the out. The cavern was coated in a layer of rock candy crystals, some of them hanging from the underside of the cave and others peaking from the ground.

Small, shallow ponds were on either side of the path, illuminated by the blue light of the glowing gems lodged into the walls. Falling water drops echoed in the distance.

Ralph forgot about his pain for a quick second as he was taken by the scenery. And then he remembered it when Calhoun roughly set him down on the ground.

"Easy, lady, I'm not made of stone!" He complained, clenching his teeth.

She reached into her pack and brought out a small, white box. "Remove your shirt, Wreck-It."

"What?" Ralph's cheeks burned. "No way!"

"I can't help you if you don't cooperate."

"I don't need any help..." He attempted to stand up, but instantly fell back down onto his bottom, wincing a bit.

Felix held his hand. "Please, Ralph, don't strain yourself!"

The big man gestured to Vanellope. "There's a little girl here!"

Vanellope tried to hide the embarrassed blush that swept across her cheeks. "I'll just turn around."

Calhoun roughly pushed Ralph back against the ground. "For your man's sake, zip your lip, and let me get to work."

It wasn't that this tough-as-nails soldier lady was hunched over him while her surprisingly nimble hands patched him up that bothered him. But rather the fact that he was showing weakness to his handyman counterpart. The one he was supposed to protect at all costs.

And that Felix had seemed to take an interest in this lady who has been nothing but overly critical and brutish since the beginning.

"My, my, you're somewhat of a handywoman, yourself, ma'am." He said as he watched her hands move across his wound without any issue. Ralph growled lowly and clenched his fist in anger. He told himself he wouldn't let it get to him before, and that he would make peace with this lady that he probably wouldn't see again after this. But the darker side of him - the Bad Guy side - was allowing his insecurities to take over.

When Felix looked up at him with concerned eyes, Ralph begrudgingly turned away. "It stings."

"Suck it up, Buttercup, I've barely touched you."

Felix could sense the obvious tension here, even if he wasn't sure what was causing it, and tugged at his collar. "That was, um... quite an adventure we had back there."

"You could say that again, Hammerhead." Vanellope said, still having her back turned to them. "I hope we never go to that castle again..."

Ralph decided to put aside his inner thoughts and turned to her. "Where'd they take you, kid?"

Vanellope hesitated for a second and before Ralph could tell her she didn't have to relive the scene, she said, "The same place every prisoner goes. Well..." She had her hands behind her back and made circles in the ground with her shoe. "... every important prisoner."

Calhoun stopped what she was doing for a second. "What do you mean 'important'?"

The little girl half-turned, still keeping her eyes away from the shirtless man. She bit her lip, thinking over the correct words to explain the encounter she had. "I, uh..." She still didn't seem sure that what she saw was actually real. "... call me crazy, but... I think the castle was showing me that I actually was supposed to exist in this game."

The three adults looked at her.

And she fully turned to them while staring at the ground. "I... saw something there. It was a picture of me. I'm pretty sure it wasn't real, or maybe it was some weird magical trick that King Candy was playing on me, but... it looked like me. But different."

"Different like how?" Ralph questioned.

Vanellope breathed in through her nostrils, trying to settle the shock that came with the sudden revelation.

"It looked like me and King Candy together. But instead of trying to hurt me, he was... laughing with me. We were standing side-by-side like we weren't enemies. And I didn't look like..." She gestured down to her small figure. "... just some raggedy kid."

For whatever reason, she found that she'd become very sad at the image. As if it was something sentimental to her. As if it had been apart of a life she didn't have. And though it wasn't in the picture, she saw Camilla there by her side.

Felix walked over to her and gently touched her shoulder. "It's okay, Vanellope, we won't let him take you, again."

Vanellope wiped the tears that she didn't realize formed from her eyes with the sleeve of her sweater. "Thanks, Felix, but... this is something bigger than all of us. We're going to need a lot more than a promise to put an end to this." She shared a look with all of them. "I need to win that race. Not just to become a racer, but to get rid of King Candy for good."

Ralph nodded to her. "Nothing's going to stop us from getting you that kart, kid."

Calhoun finished patching him up and stood up. "That should hold you unless you do something rash and half-witted. Well..." She looked down at him with judgement in her eyes. "... I should say 'until you do something rash and half-witted'." Instead of retorting with the same amount of snark, Ralph just sat up and thanked her subtly.

"I've never seen anything like it." Felix said. "It's like a part of your body was... erased from the code."

Vanellope's head perked up. "Erased? Oh, no, you guys must have gotten hit by the same thing I almost did!"

Calhoun looked at her. "What thing?"

And the little girl's hands gripped at her stomach as she answered. "The Decoder... It removes a part of you for good."

Felix choked on air. "Oh my land..."

The wrecker immediately shot a glance at the pink racer, after realizing she hadn't said a word since the beginning of this walk. But he couldn't see where she was in the crowd. It was as if she'd disappeared into the void. Maybe it was just his imagination that she'd been there at all.

Calhoun shot Ralph an expression that, for once, wasn't of spite. "You're lucky you didn't get hit in the vital parts of your body, Wreck-It."

Ralph dismissed the sudden concern. "I'll be fine once we get back to our own game."

Felix didn't seem too sure and he turned to the wrecker with frustration in his heart over Ralph not caring one bit about his health or his wellbeing. It frightened him to think that Ralph could have been slowly dying, and he probably wouldn't have made it known to anyone.

Not even Felix.

Vanellope let out an exasperated sigh and flopped against the ground. "Guys... can we please take five? I'm so tired from all that running..."

Calhoun nodded. "Let's wait out the threat right now. But don't doze off for too long. We don't have forever to get you that kart."

Felix walked up to her, grinning half-heartedly, and bowed his head. "Thank you for helping out Ralph. I... really appreciate it." He had his hat in his hand and scratched the back of his head. And Ralph could have sworn he saw a hint of a pinkish shade coating his cheeks. The same way Felix behaved when he was speaking to Ralph about sensitive topics.

And to his complete and utter surprise, Ralph saw Calhoun actually smile at Felix's response. It didn't even seem possible for her to do that. And she gave him a pat on the back. She actually patted his back in a non-aggressive manner.

"It was nothing, Fix-It."

And what did Ralph get? Not even a hint of empathy towards him. Just like in his world, where he was most likely going to be treated with the same amount of shame as before. It didn't matter if he returned with ten medals. He would always be the Bad Guy.

Fed up with it all, he stood up abruptly, disregarding the soreness that shot up from his side, and stomped off into the distance.

Calhoun and Felix shared a look before Felix went after him.

...

He found the big guy standing on the edge of the path, close to the shimmering pond, with his arms folded across his bare chest. He was scowling at the luminous gems ahead, and keeping his own hostile thoughts to himself.

Felix treaded carefully. "Ralph? Is everything okay?"

Ralph breathed in and out sharply. "Just peachy, Felix. Just... freaking peachy."

The fact that Ralph didn't hold back a swear was enough to tell that he wasn't just a little upset. He was downright pissed off. But for what reason? What had happened between now and the prison break that made Ralph suddenly resent Felix?

Was it because Calhoun accidentally humiliated him by treating his wound? Was it because of the injury, itself? Felix wasn't one to hide his emotions, but he had a hard time deciphering those of others.

Especially when people said one thing while they actually meant another.

Trying to keep his nerves in check, Felix asked, "Did I do something?"

Ralph lowered his arms and looked down at the crystal-clear blue pond. "Did you really mean all that stuff you said back there? About being sorry for not including me in the parties? And not sticking up for me when the Nicelanders treated me like I was less than?"

His voice was kept quiet to avoid drawing attention from the others, but it still hurt. It stung him to confront Felix as much as it did to have Calhoun patch up his wound.

But it didn't hurt him to say it as much as it hurt Felix to listen.

"Of course I did, Ralph!" Felix almost shouted. "I never say things I don't mean!"

Ralph glared down at him and decided to let the dam burst. "Then why - for thirty years - did you act like I didn't exist?"

Felix knew he didn't have any reason, or any excuse for that. "I... I don't know. I think I just didn't know any better..."

"Oh, for the love of-" Ralph buried his face in his hand. "Just be honest with me, Fix-It. Every Good Guy runs away whenever they see me, except for you. I can tell Calhoun isn't any different-"

Felix cut him off. "She jabbed her weapon so hard into my head that I went out like a light. And then I was handcuffed to a chair and thrown in jail. She isn't treating you any different, Ralph."

That didn't make the wrecker feel any better. If anything, it made him feel worse about Felix continuing to take her side. Despite everything - despite the kisses that they shared and the affection - he had been unconfident about all of Felix's actions since the beginning.

It seemed so suspicious to him that after such a long time, Felix was now starting to open up to him. There had to be a catch. There had to be an underlying reason for Ralph's newfound happiness.

Because there usually was. It was just another perk of being programmed the way he was.

Maybe he was just venting his anger at Calhoun, but Ralph didn't stop the flood of emotion that flowed from him.

"You said you wanted me at the anniversary party, but you let Gene get in the way of that. Why do you always have to do everything he says? Why didn't you stand up to him before? Why do you let any of those people walk all over you?"

Felix didn't usually get angry, but now he was starting to feel it stronger than ever. Why didn't Ralph trust him? Why didn't he believe the things Felix said whenever he was trying to reassure him?

"I just wanted everyone to get along. I wasn't trying to hurt you, Ralph. And I hate myself for letting them treat you the way that they did."

He thought that this was already settled between them. He thought that after all the trouble Felix went through to help Ralph earn the respect that he rightfully deserved, Ralph would have taken his words to heart about how Felix felt about him.

"That's not enough." Ralph spat out. "You can't just force people to get along like that."

Felix could understand feeling resentful towards Gene and the others; their treatment was completely uncalled for. But it seemed that no matter how much Felix wanted to show Ralph that he cared, it wasn't enough to erase those mistakes.

"Ralph, I..." He began, weakly. "I know that it was wrong of them to make you feel less than, and yeah, I've also done some things to you that I can't ever take back, but..." He sighed. "... I'm trying. I wish I wasn't so much of a dingus back then. I wish I would have taken you into my place and kept you safe from the others. But I want to do that for you now when I couldn't do it then."

Ralph's eyes softened and he sat down on the ground, once again wishing that he didn't say anything. But his anger didn't subside.

"How do I know that you really mean that?" He didn't sound like he was asking Felix directly. It sounded like he was asking the void, or some higher power that neither of them could see, or hear.

Maybe Ralph was being so mistrusting because Felix hadn't exactly been as direct with his feelings as he previously thought. So, mustering up all of his courage, he marched over to the big man, grabbed him by the shoulders as much as his short arms could, and smashed their lips together.

At first, Ralph's lips were tightly pressed together, like he was resisting the act, but soon after, he opened his heart as well as his lips in a warm, welcoming manner.

Felix pulled away, looking at him with half-lidded, dreamy eyes. "Ralph, if we hadn't been with the others and didn't seem to always be in peril, I would have shown you exactly how much you mean to me."

Keeping his chin up, Ralph spoke firmly while pressing their foreheads together, "Then do it."

And their kissing had become far more ravenous and urgent than ever before. There was a lot of tongue and nipping, and Felix ran his hands all over his bare chest. Feeling the thickness of it, the curves, and the toughness of his abdomen, all while being careful not to strike at his wound.

And then his hand traveled lower and lower until Ralph broke their kiss and asked in a breathy voice, "Felix, are you sure about this?"

The handyman didn't even need to think about it. "Yes."

It caught Ralph off guard to see such a shy little creature, who had never uttered a swear word in his life, transform into a lustful man with quite an appetite. Felix moved his lips to the crook of Ralph's neck and he began leaving soft kisses along the entire surface.

Ralph tensed and his teeth bit into his lip. His excitement from their previous kiss was nothing compared to what he'd been feeling right now. And he was glad that the cave wasn't that luminous, or else it would have been the most awkward sight to have been caught in.

And after feeling his own arousal grow stronger, Ralph hooked his thick fingers into the front of Felix's shirt and ripped the two halves of it apart, revealing the white undershirt beneath.

Felix was halted from his actions and his eyes were wide.

"Sorry." Ralph muttered.

"For what?"

And the next thing that the little not-as-shy handyman did was almost enough to send the wrecker over the edge so soon. Felix left a trail of tender kisses from his collarbone down to his stomach, where he stayed for a longer period of time than the rest of the surface, and finally to the clothed bulge underneath his navel.

Ralph laid back against the ground, breathing heavily.

If Felix were being honest, he was so nervous that he almost could have passed out from all of the anxiety built up in his chest. He was encouraged to overcome his own sheepishness by a variety of factors. One being that Ralph had been shirtless for the first time since Felix had seen him and Felix spent quite a while listening to him groaning and watching him squirm as he was being treated.

Of course, he would have rather not have had Ralph being in pain. He would have wanted those noises to be caused by some other action. Without hesitation, Felix stuck his hand beneath the corduroy fabric and grabbed him.

Ralph sucked in air through his teeth. The soreness of his injury almost completely left him.

Almost.

Felix turned his head away, now becoming more bashful after they'd taken things this far. Ralph looked up at him after noticing he'd stopped.

"What's wrong?"

"I... um... I don't know if I'll be any good... I've never done this before..."

His voice was so soft that Ralph almost didn't hear him. He pulled himself up. "With... anyone?"

Felix shook his head.

Ralph narrowed his eyes. "Then... maybe I should go first."

Felix sat down in front of him with his knees apart, resting back on his palms. He was biting his lower lip as he watched Ralph use his thumb and index finger to pull apart his tool belt.

His short manhood stood out, fully erect and not at all ashamed of it. Felix turned his head away, noting that his cock was definitely not as impressive as Ralph's.

The wrecker smirked down at him, and lubed up his thumb with his tongue. He pressed it against the underside of Felix's shaft and gently moved up and down.

"Oh my land..." Felix's eyes were wider than they'd ever been. He dug his fingers into the ground and leaned back.

For someone who was often rough and destructive, the big man was so careful and smooth. As if he was afraid that a single misstep could have broken Felix. Felix had known for a long time that people misjudged Ralph, but seeing how subtle his movements were made Felix realize exactly how wrong they'd been. The wrecker was a gentle giant. A sweet, sexy gentle giant.

"You like that?" Ralph mumbled in a sultry voice.

"Y-yes..."

His thumb moved upwards towards the head, which made Felix almost jump up towards the ceiling of the cave. All those moments he spent in his apartment, watching Ralph use the strength of his strong arms on the sea of bricks, positioning his own hand where Ralph's was right now, could not have satisfied him as much.

"Oh... Ralph... please..."

"Please what?"

The words were having a difficult time getting out.

"Please what, Felix?"

"... h-harder..."

Smirking once again, Ralph did as he was asked and applied more pressure, moving his thumb even faster. Felix reached up and grabbed his hand, squeezing with as much strength as he had. He bit his tongue to keep himself from screaming, even though his body was urging him to do so. And then it felt like he'd lost all sense of control. His body seemed to detonate like a stick of dynamite, he saw white underneath his closed eyelids, and his body shivered.

"Ralph-!" He choked out, biting down on his gloved hand. When he looked down at his body, he could see that he was covered in his own essence.

Still breathing heavily, Ralph grabbed his tiny body and pulled him onto his lap.

Felix looked at him with perplexed eyes. "... Ralph?"

The bigger man reached down and pulled out his own erect cock. From the reflection of the glowing pond and the crystals, Ralph could see that Felix's face had turned to a deep shade of crimson.

"My turn now..." He breathed.

Felix's shaking hands grabbed at him once again. He moved his hand with the same amount of speed that his lover did at first.

"Ditch the gloves." Ralph told him.

Not only did he remove his gloves, but his undershirt and cap came off as well. And he didn't just grasp Ralph's hard manhood, but in the boldest move he had ever pulled, Felix took the entirety of it into his mouth. Well, almost the entirety of it.

"Oh, sweet Mother Hubbard..." Ralph moaned, tilting his head back. He had to resist every urge to grab the back of Felix's head and start bobbing it up and down greedily. He had to stop himself from going a step further by pushing Felix down onto his stomach and taking him without restraint.

Not now, but maybe later. Because not only did the handyman need to be eased into things, but his body was about a quarter of Ralph's. And Ralph felt like such an intimate act would tear him apart.

And thus, Ralph was content to watch the swirling lights of the pond reflect off of Felix's face as he moved his head and hand. Ralph thumb brushed Felix's silky hair back and he moaned softly.

"Oh, God..."

What was the conversation about, again? It didn't matter. None of his deep-rooted insecurities and doubts mattered. Who cared about Gene and the rest of the Nicelanders? Who gave a donkey's hind end about Calhoun and the better treatment she was giving Felix?

Why did he even speak his mind in the first place? Any time he did that, it ended in disaster. Except now when he was receiving the best treatment he'd ever had. And the best part of it was that this moment only belonged to the two of them.

That little handyman was his. That's what Felix was showing him right now.

"... F-Felix..."

He squeezed his eyes shut. He was incredibly close. He bit his tongue as he felt like he was about to shout out into the entire cave and make it known to everybody exactly what they were occupied with.

Not that it would have stopped them. But he wanted to spare Felix the embarrassment. A low growl escaped him and both his hands gripped two long rock candy spikes peaking from the ground. He tossed his head back and released a non-kid-friendly word into the air as he finally tipped over the edge.

He was surprised he didn't completely shatter those two spikes.

Ralph laid against his back, breathless and blissfully hazy. He enjoyed the blue glow of the rocks poking out from the ceiling. It reminded him of Felix's blue eyes.

The little handyman crawled over to him and rested his head against Ralph's arm. The big man turned his head to him and noticed Felix's messy face and chest.

"That was..."

"Marvelous..." Felix finished for him. "No... spectacular. No... life-altering!"

A quiet chuckle left the big man as he pulled Felix in closer. "Guess I was wrong about you, too, Felix."

The handyman opened his eyes to look at him, smiling widely. No words needed to be exchanged between them after that.

And right when the two men were about ready to doze off peacefully, they were both jerked from their momentary rest when they heard two heavy footsteps approaching.

Felix hurriedly dipped his hands into the pond water and washed off his face and chest, repaired his shirt, and dressed himself. Ralph readjusted his overalls and put on his top.

Both were standing by each other with nervous grins on their faces.

It was just Calhoun coming back from the camp, and while she could have asked why Ralph and Felix were as jumpy as a pair of hopping ticks on a dog's back, she decided against it.

"Straighten yourselves up, men, we've got a situation."

AN: HOLY SHITE. That was the longest chapter I've ever written and it was totally worth it.

Sorry this took forever to get out. Not only have I been occupied with work, but I've also been doing some art for my favorite boys. I posted it on tumblr and I've still got a bunch of ideas to get out.

Since I've gotten a newfound confidence in myself, I've been wanting to draw a ton. So that's what I'm going to do. And I'm also working on my Sledgehammer one-shots on AO3.

Thanks again for those of you following me. I appreciate it.