My head was pounding when I woke up, blinking away sleep, my eyes finally focusing on the person in front of me snoring , shaking my head at Brittney I checked my watch. 5am. Pulling my phone out of my jeans I checked for messages I had none which was great.

Sitting up I noticed I was still in jax SOA black reaper jumper it smelt like him. Smirking I sat up finding the bathroom and quickly going. Leaving Brittney to sleep I sent her a quick message as I walked down stairs.

My eyes widen at the bodies, on the pool table, the bar, the floor, naked, clothed. Biting my lip I stopped dead when I saw Jax, looking around I found a blanket not wanting to give up his jumper. I picked it up putting it over him.

"Nope come here I want cuddles" turning back around he had his arms out "I slept down here in the cold Lillian come warm me up" rolling my eyes I let him pull me down on his lap. Then I felt it "sorry you have that effect just ignore it"

"little hard Jax" I snorted as I could feel it poking into me.

"mmm Thank you for the compliment" he mumbled into my neck holding me in his lap, breathing in his after shave I couldn't help but smile. We sat for a while and I almost closed my eyes again, welcoming sleep.

"Hey what did you need my help with the other day for Julian birthday" Jax mumbled into my neck as he snuggled his face in closer.

"oh a bike, he said you guys didn't like his red dirt bike" I laughed

"you're going to buy him a bike for his birthday" Jax asked shocked.

"yep" I popped the p "but honestly might just stay and cuddle you"

"Mmm Lillian don't tempt me I might kick Brittney out of my bed and stay all day with you" my eyes widen at the comment never been this close with anyone "how about we swing by yours, get you showered, changed, feed you and then go look at bikes?"

"you're not busy today?"

"Nar not today, just got to go upstairs grab spare clothes, I'd use my shower but Britt probably wouldn't like that"

"probably not...I have clothes at the studio on top of the shop, you can shower there" I offered.

"I'd like that but give me a minute" he moved getting more comfortable, snuggling in closer, Jax finger ran up and down my thighs. His large hands sending tingles down my spine.

"okay let's get a move on, this isn't helping" I could still feel him, smirking I got up and jax got up kissing my cheek "I'll be back, god you look delicious in the morning" he winked moving towards the dorms, I couldn't help but admire him from behind.

once he was out of sight I headed over to the wall admiring the photos even those with Susan. it still shook me that this was once my world, that this club house was my old stomping grounds.

"Okay you ready?" He had a bag full of clothes, nodding he took my hand walking over to his bike, I watched him mount it before handing me a helmet "what?"

"you need to buy a spare helmet...I specialize in hearts and trauma you fuck that pretty little face up of yours I can't help much" I watched him lick his lips eyeing me up and down "what?"

"Have I told you how hot you're" rolling my eyes I mounted the bike holding onto him, the sound of his chuckling as silence by the sound of his bike coming alive. Holding on he kicked off.

I quickly showered and got out getting dressed. When I came out Jax was asleep on the lounge, he probably had a shitty sleep. Throwing a blanket on him I headed to the kitchen and began cooking.

The smell of bacon and eggs corrupted my senses. Cringing when the plates hit together as I pulled them out. Arms wrapped around me causing me to stiffen "smells so good babe" lips found my neck, my heart beating rapidly

"I didn't know what you liked" I tried to calm down fighting every urge I had to pull away.

"you know I'm talking about you right" he inhaled, smirking I pushed him away watching him take a seat, placing his plate in front of him "I could get use to this?"

"oh yeah well you get to cook next"

"only if you promise to wear a real small dress and sit right up on the bench so I can look at you" Choking on my water, he began to laugh "Jesus lily you know how to insult a guy don't you"

"shooting down your confidence" I winked

"this is good"

"Good eat up, shower and let's go pick baby brother a bike"

"what's the budget?" He asked As he began munching away on breakfast.

"I don't know figure it out when we get there" I shrugged

"okay" we ate in silence, stealing looks at each other. Jax washed his plate kissing my cheek before going to shower. Sitting on my chair I let my mind run should I be moving this quickly. I could feel my cheeks burning and my heart pounding when his near. Never had to deal with it, never had a relationship, strictly working but for some strange reason with Jax I couldn't help but flirt and feel these things. To fight against my will to throw him over my shoulder and snap his arm.

…

"what about this bike?" I asked looking at a red bike.

"has to be black darling" rolling my eyes "what about this one"

"looks good" I nodded

"perfect fit for Julian" Jax nodded checking everything out.

"okay let's do this" I smiled

"you have $8000" Jax asked

Pulling out my wallet "yeah I got money" walking up to the counter I order the bike, signing the paper work and delivery to the shop. Once paid for Jax was staring at me like I had two heads "what?"

"I know you love Julian but hope you're not wasting your money...Julian working towards buying a bike, you could just buy him a jumper"

"Jax I've worked since I was 12 years old, I've been saving 80% of my income since then, I was in the military deployed only thing I paid for is Julian and the twins. I'm a surgeon I make good money, these hands are worth a lot of money"

"well fuck me sugar momma lunch is on you" he winked jokingly.

Rolling my eyes "come on biker boy take me home"

"yes ma'am" walking out of the shop Jax stopped dead "Wendy?" I looked at the lady she was pretty and looked good pregnant "how are you?"

"ah yeah good, um I got the papers the other day just going to sign everything-"

"No problem Wendy" Jax cut her off his hand tightening on Mine.

"and um here" she searched in her bag pulling out a photo "Abel doing well, his bigger"

"that's good" Jax smiled taking the photo smiling down at it.

"sorry Wendy Teller" removing my hand I looked at Jax who was about to blow a casket "soon to be ex Mrs Teller" shaking her hand.

"I didn't know-" I nodded

"nice to meet you-"

"Lillian"

"right Lillian" Wendy nodded before walking off, Jax face was mad.

"lilly-"

"so married? With a kid on the way"

Jax scratched the back of his neck "yeah, um come on let's get you home" nodding I got on the bike after Jax, I didn't hold him tight this time or lean into his back. My mind was ticking over. Shaking my head I seen the studio come into sight, Jax parked the bike.

"so-" I was cut off by Jax phone ringing, he signed pulling it out and answering it. Getting off Jax bike I watched him take the phone call, he hung up coming over to me but it was like my bubble popped, everything changed.

"I got to go but um" he signed stepping closer

"It's fine I'm really tired Jax I'm going to go to sleep" stepping back he gave me a side glance before nodding and getting back on his bike. I watched him ride away aggressively.

Signing I took the back steps and went to the studio, walking straight to the room I seen Jax jumper on the floor. Rolling my eyes I hide under the blankets, knowing full well I wasn't going to sleep.

Jax POV

Two day since I've spoken to Lillian, I've gone to message and call her a million times but didn't. I felt like such an idiot I should have just told her about Wendy and Abel but no stupid me was fantastic at pushing people away.

turning the wrench my finger slipped off the bolt "fuck fuck fuck" growling I stood up angrily gripping the towel.

"you okay Jax?"

turning I looked at Ima I was so blue balls right now and I could use a suck but that isn't who I wanted sucking me "fine Ima fuck off" I hissed angrily, she nodded walking away. Pulling my phone out My finger dancing over the call button for Lillian.

"Hey" turning around it was Lillian "sorry just wanted to give these back" putting my phone away I wiped my hands seeing her holding the back pack I left at her house "I washed it all so it's all clean"

"You didn't have too"

She shrugged "I know" she nodded "okay so I'll leave you to it"

"I'm sorry"

"sorry?"

"yeah I'm sorry"

"why?" She asked small frown on her face.

opening my mouth I tried to speak but nothing came out, lily nodded turning on her heels "wait" reaching for her arm "I'm sorry, I should have told you about Wendy and my kid"

"not entitled to know every single detail of your life Jackson"

Squinting i looked at her "but I would like you too, I told you I wanted to get to know you"

"why?"

"why not?"

"not like other girls Jax not going to drop my panties just because you wink at me...I'm not a challenge for you to conquer. Sort your stuff out and then come talk to me or don't ball in your court" I watched her walk away jumping in her truck. Frowning I pulled out a cigarette.

I watched her drive out of the lot, turning I could see Julian "what you looking at prospect" I spat angrily.

He signed coming up to me "Lillian okay?"

"I don't know she's your sister?"

"Jax-"

"what's her go?" I spat "why she so-"

"protected? Like she told you she's not like any other girls, she's never had a boyfriend, she doesn't know how to react...plus she's been dragged through hell and back Jax, she's not like other girls what so ever"

I frowned at his words I knew she had gone through something I noticed every time she stiffen when I touched her, I noticed her hand clench tightly but I also noticed how she smiled near me felt like it was reserved for me, and the way her whole body would relax when it finally figured out it was me touching it.

"hell? Deployment?" I asked staring at him wanting answers to this puzzle that keeps me up all night with a twisted mind and a hand on my dick.

"not my story Jax" Julian signed I could tell the affect it had on him.

"she said she had a boyfriend"

Julian shrugged "first I'm hearing about It"