This one picks up directly after six (starts on the same day as 6). It was originally written all as one but then it was like a 12k chapter so I figured I'd split it haha I hope you enjoy the rest of Claire's trip to Scotland!
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Chapter Seven:
After their little tryst on the kitchen table, she and Jamie fumble their way upstairs, clothes collected in their arms as they scurry through the house.
Claire puts the souvenirs into her carry-on bag she'd left in the guest room before Jamie comes up behind her, taking her just like that on the bed.
Sometime later, they make their way down the hall to his room, collapsing into his king size bed. They eventually doze off, napping for the better part of an hour, wrapped in each other's arms, before deciding they need to actually shower and get ready. They have plans to stop by Fraser's Ridge so Jamie can meet with Ian about their new property deal before she and Jamie head to dinner.
She gets into Jamie's shower, letting the warm water heat her skin before he joins her. Their hands roam, cleaning each other's bodies off and sharing kisses the whole time.
"We should get dressed," Claire says, turning off the hair straightener. "We don't want to be late meeting with Ian."
Jamie smirks, "Ye mean, ye dinna want us tae miss our dinner reservation."
"Well, obviously."
He snickers, zipping his jeans and walking back into the bathroom to brush his teeth and spray some cologne.
God, if anyone can make the cowboy look work, it's Jamie Fraser. They were going casual to run to the Ridge, and he'd chosen a flannel shirt with a navy vest to go along with his jeans. And Claire was instantly turned on—maybe missing the reservation wouldn't be so bad after all.
She throws on her outfit—jeans and a simple white, long sleeve shirt with a light jacket—and finishes her makeup.
"All set?" Jamie asks, stepping back into the bedroom and grabbing his keys off the dresser.
She gives him a quick kiss and a nod in reply and they make their way down the stairs and out the door.
It's a quick visit to Fraser's Ridge. Jenny is there, too, so Claire spends some time with her walking around and petting the horses while Jenny tends to the goats. Before long, Ian and Jamie emerge from the main office, mega watt smiles and arms thrown around each other's shoulders as they laugh and make their way to she and Jenny.
"I take it it was a successful meeting?"
"Aye," he murmurs, pressing a kiss to her head. "I'll tell ye all about it on the way home."
Smiling, they hug the Murrays goodbye before heading back to Jamie's house to get ready for dinner.
{**************************}
It was nearing seven now, and Claire was thankful she'd already straightened her hair
. Their reservation is at eight, so she runs the straightener through her hair one more time for good measure before spending time on her makeup. She wanted a more done up look to match the dress she was hoping would knock the air out of Jamie's lungs when he saw her.
She was planning on wearing a black dress that she'd gotten the other day at a boutique. It lands just above her knees and hugs her in a way that isn't too tight, but is sexy enough and doesn't leave much to the imagination. She pairs it with a pair of black pumps, thankful she brought them since they were walking to dinner tonight. These were one of the only pairs of heels she had that were comfortable enough for a long period of time.
Claire feels vindicated in her splurge of a purchase on this dress when she comes down the stairs, Jamie waiting at the bottom with his mouth hanging agape.
He looks so handsome. And for a moment she considers not going to dinner at all and just having him right there on the wooden staircase. He's in a pair of hunter green dress pants with a black button up. His sleeves are rolled up, exposing his muscular forearms and God, does she have a weakness for a man dressed like that. If she thought cowboy Jamie was hot, business suit Jamie was even better.
When she gets to the bottom of the stairs, he takes her hands, his eyes bulging out when he takes a peek at her chest. "Christ, Sassenach."
"What?"
"I can see all the way down tae yer third rib."
She laughs, swatting at his chest. "No, you can't."
He grins, saying, "Nah, but I will be seeing those wee ribs of yers later tonight," before pulling her to him. His hands slide down to her ass, cupping her cheeks in his palms. "Ye look sae gorgeous." Jamie kisses her again, groaning against her mouth as he exclaims, "God, ye've got the roundest arse I've ever seen."
She laughs as he brings his lips to hers again. "Why Jamie," she giggles, taking a step back and giving him a mock-curtsey, "you do flatter me so." She sighs, leaning in to kiss him once more. "You look handsome, yourself." Reaching around, Claire takes his rear in her hands, giving it a squeeze. "You say I have a nice arse, but look at yours." They both laugh, drunk on the feel of each other. "Are you sure we have to go to dinner?" she asks, hands gripping his ass again and pulling him closer.
His head tilts back on a laugh, taking her hand and handing her her purse. "Aye, we need some food to restore our energy."
"Okay, fine," she huffs, smiling over to him. "Lead the way."
{*****************************}
The restaurant is just outside the property line of Lallybroch, in the same town she'd walked to several days thus far. It had actually been her suggestion to eat there, having smelled it's aroma several times over the last two weeks.
Jamie had smiled, saying she sounded like a local and that he'd make the reservation.
When they get there, she's stunned. This place is so much prettier at night. They have music softly playing that can be heard from the outside, the roof is lined with white fairy lights, and the lights are set to a low dim, casting a nice ambience around the building.
She's glad that she grabbed her black jacket just before they left because the temperature has dropped a good bit since this afternoon. They stand outside for a few moments, waiting for their table to be ready.
"It's so pretty here at night," she comments, hooking her arm through Jamie's as she peers out around the town square. "This little area is nice."
He smiles, kissing her cheek. "I do like this place," he tells her. "I like that at night all the restaurants open their windows and have sae much outdoor seating. It's nice tae watch people mill about the town as ye eat."
She giggles, "So you like to people watch."
"Who doesn't?" he laughs, turning them back toward the restaurant when their name is called.
Fraser, party of two
She ignores the way her stomach flips at hearing them both referred to as Frasers.
Dinner is lovely, and it's nice and warm inside, making her more comfortable with her spaghetti strap dress.
Jamie orders them a bottle of red wine and an appetizer of fritto misto, and she smiles across the table at him, that feeling from earlier today of wanting to tell him how she feels bubbling up inside of her again.
She pushes it down, picking up the menu to peruse.
The fritto misto arrives before long, and they both savor it while making their selections for dinner. The food here is delicious, she can already tell just from this one dish.
The waiter comes back, pouring them each a glass of Tempranillo, telling them this bottle is from Spain, 2018.
She smiles, thanking him before she and Jamie order. He goes with steamed filet of shetland halibut, while she picks the linguine alla norma.
As the waiter retreats to put their orders in, Jamie takes her hand, his thumb caressing the top of it. "I'm sae glad ye were able to come fer this long."
She smiles, a bit sadly knowing it's almost over. "I am, too, Jamie. It's been lovely."
They reminisce over their favorite parts of her trip, Claire deciding that the days they rode the horses all through the farm were her favorites. "I just enjoyed being out in nature, with you, and getting to see where you spend your days."
He grins, saying, "Aside from, well, ye know," and bounces his eyebrows up and down, making her laugh, "I really loved earlier today when ye got tae meet Fergus."
Her eyes soften and she squeezes his hand. "I loved that, too. And I loved getting to know Jenny," she tells him. "You used to tell me so much about her when we were in high school. It was nice to really get to know her." She smiles, laughing softly at herself. "I was actually scared to meet her."
"Why?" he asks, eyes lighting up with mirth.
Shrugging, Claire says, "I don't know. She's your older sister, she's bound to be protective, and I was just worried she wouldn't like me."
"If anyone dislikes you, Sassenach, then that's their loss."
She smiles, clearing her throat of emotion. She separates their hands as the waiter brings their dishes, setting them in front of them and telling them to enjoy.
They drink their wine, savoring the meal before them, laughing and just enjoying each other's presence.
She can feel her face growing hot, mind a bit fuzzy the more wine she drinks, but she doesn't care. They're walking home so they can enjoy themselves as much as they want. A light buzz won't hurt anything.
Jamie offers her a bite of his food, leaning into the table and looking around conspicuously as he murmurs, "Don't go makin' those wee moaning noises again."
Rolling her eyes, she swishes her hand in front of his face, making him sit back with a laugh. She picks up his fork, taking a piece to taste. It's delicious, of course, everything tonight has been. She then gives him a bite of her food and he says they need to come back again so he can order that dish.
At one point, their waiter returns, offering them a complimentary taste of the house oysters and Claire accepts, curious to see how they taste.
"Ye're a daring woman," he smirks as the waiter walks away, "I s'ppose that makes me a verra lucky man… But, Sassenach, oysters?" Jamie asks, face twisted in disgust
She laughs, giving him a shrug. "When in Rome!"
"Ye're in Scotland," he deadpans, "and ye ken just fine that oysters are just slimy wee suckers in yer throat."
She leans in, eyeing the waiter coming back, and lowly says, "You know, they say oysters are an aphrodisiac."
Sitting back, she smiles both at the waiter and at the look on Jamie's face. His eyes have gone a shade darker, and she knows he's imagining all the wicked things they'll do to one another tonight when they get home.
"Here ye are," the waiter says, "compliments o'the chef."
They thank him and Claire takes a deep breath. She's always been a daring eater, having traveled so much with Lamb as a child to different countries and cultures, but oysters were always one thing she could never really enjoy.
She's always heard about Scottish oysters, though, and how fresh they are, so, why not?
Picking one up, she looks at Jamie, declaring, "Geronimo!" before shooting the oyster into her mouth and swallowing.
She tries not to cough as the slimy meat slides down her throat, trying her very hardest to taste it so she can give an apt description.
"Jesus H. Roosevelt Christ," she mumbles, squeezing her eyes shut at the onslaught of flavors still in her mouth after swallowing.
Reaching for her wine to wash the salty flavor away, she gulps down a sip, looking at Jamie. His mouth is hanging open just a bit, a small grimace on his face. "Christ, ye're a brave wee thing," he laughs in disbelief, shaking his head when she offers him the other one. "I'm nice and full from my meal."
It wasn't the worst thing she's ever eaten, and tells him so, saying she'd try it again to get used to the taste.
They stay there for over two hours, their wine finished, and dessert ordered. They choose to share the vanilla ice cream with caramel drizzle along with a glass for each of them of the dessert wine.
She's indulging, she knows that, can tell Jamie is feeling the effects of the wine as well, but she just giggles, loving how free she feels with him.
They pay, finishing off their third and fourth glasses of wine, before heading out.
Jamie slips Claire's jacket onto her arms as they step outside, and she thanks him, the air having grown just a touch cooler since they were first outside.
She stumbles a bit on her feet, chuckling when Jamie catches her arm.
They laugh all the way down the street and up toward Lallybroch, Jamie's arm coming around her shoulders to catch her when she trips on a rock. "I think ye're a wee bit drunk there, mo nighean donn."
She can hear how inebriated her own laugh sounds but she still protests, saying, "I am not drunk!" She swoops out from underneath his arm, pretending to punch him in the stomach. "I could knock you off your feet, sir!"
Jamie guffaws, trapping her hands in his and spins her around in a circle. "Ye canna even walk in a straight line."
"Well, can you recite the alphabet backwards?" she sasses, knowing he's had just as much to drink as she has.
He smirks, his arm looping around her shoulders again. "I expect so," he boasts, chest puffing out. "English… or Greek?"
She snorts, moving out from under his grasp again, catching his hand in hers and swinging them between their bodies. "Well, nevermind. If you can recite either of those forwards, then you're in a better condition than I."
He laughs, spinning her so she lands against his chest, and she purses her lips, leaning up to place a smacking kiss to his lips.
"I'm going to miss ye sae much, Claire," he admits suddenly, the air growing serious between them. "These last two weeks have been some of the best of my life."
She looks up at him, arms still wrapped around his waist. Her eyes water, knowing she feels the same way. It's been wonderful, and though she wants to get home to Julia, she doesn't want to leave Jamie. "I am thankful for every day that we have," she tells him, giving him a soft smile.
Leaning in, Jamie kisses her lips, then the tip of her nose. He pulls out of her embrace, taking her hand and bowing dramatically. He kisses her hand before righting himself and continuing their journey home.
They giggle and stumble all the way back to Lallybroch, fumbling inside the door at the same time. Jamie, in trying not to knock her down, ends up falling on his bum, a wheezing laugh coming out of both their mouths.
"Shhh," she shushes, a finger raising to her lips. "You'll wake the house."
"No one is home but us, Sassenach."
"Oh… right," she laughs, helping him stand to his feet.
Jamie has sense enough at least to grab them both a bottle of water before following her upstairs. When they get to his room, she falls face first into the mattress, her legs still on the ground.
Claire turns her face to the side in order to talk, saying, "I need to change out of this dress… put my pajamas on." She flips onto her back, grinning stupidly up at Jamie. He's somehow already gotten his shirt off and is standing there in just his pants, his sculpted chest on display for her. "Help me up, Jamie," she commands with a hiccup, kicking her heels off.
She giggles as he takes her hands, hoisting her from the bed.
Claire lands against his chest, both of them delivering sloppy kisses to the other. "I need to change," she states again.
She starts to move, but Jamie captures her by the waist, pulling her to him from behind. "There'll be no need for clothes tonight, Sassenach," he tells her, whispering it into her ear. She can smell the wine still on his breath, but she doesn't care and turns in his arms.
Both hands lift to cup around his neck, pulling him to her as they fall with breathless giggles onto the bed once again. No clothes needed for the rest of the night, indeed.
{*************************}
Three days later, her trip has sadly come to an end. It's Friday morning, and she knows she needs to get back in order to recover from her jetlag and get prepared for work on Monday.
But that doesn't seem as fun as staying in bed with Jamie for the rest of the day.
She wakes up in Jamie's arms, one leg slung over his hip, and they make love one last time before she has to go.
They piddle around town, Claire buying a few last minute provisions to stuff into her carry-on. When they get back home, she decides to hop in the shower so she feels fresh for her flight later this afternoon.
Once she's clean and dressed for the airport, she makes her way downstairs with her luggage. She drops it off by the front door, then heads to the kitchen where Jamie has been preparing lunch for them.
"Smells good," she says, sliding next to him at the table.
Jamie smiles, placing a hamburger onto her plate. "Thank ye, mo nighean donn."
There's a sadness in the air that's thick and looming, and she hates this feeling. She knows she has to get back home, she has a daughter and a job waiting for her, but fuck, this is so hard.
She'd finished some more work yesterday, having another video chat with Joe for apparently no other reason than for him to tell her to research Raigmore Hospital in Inverness.
"There's a few others," Joe grinned. "But that one looks the best."
"Oh, you've been researching, have you? The brochures you gave me weren't enough?"
"Well, someone had to."
She laughs at the memory of Joe, always so persistent.
They'd spent yesterday at home all day, just enjoying their last few hours together. They'd gone out for dinner, going to Jenny and Ian's afterwards to have a drink and say goodbye.
But now, there's no more time left. Her flight is in five hours, so they need to leave within an hour to get there with enough time.
She sighs, sipping her water, listening as Jamie tries to fill the silence by telling her about the jams and marmalades Jenny and her team were creating using their farm's fruits and how his sister wants to think of a new label design.
"That'll be nice," she replies distantly, looking at him sadly.
Jamie smiles in understanding, reaching over to hold her hand. "I ken, Sassenach. I dinna want ye to leave either. But ye must."
She nods, sighing. "You know," she starts, hoping to sound casual about it. "Scotland has some pretty great hospitals; Joe gave me a few pamphlets after my first trip here, and he and I looked some up yesterday." She smiles behind the rim of her cup, looking sideways at him with a gleam in her eye.
Jamie straightens in his seat, eyes lighting up. "Wha—Sassenach," he breathes, taking her hand again. "I would love that more than anything, but," her stomach drops with that one word, and her smile falters, "I would never, in a million years, ask ye tae give up yer life and career over there just fer me." He sighs, looking down at his plate, then back to her. "What about Julia?"
She smiles at his concern for her child, and stands, collecting their plates and walking them over to the sink as she comments, "She'll be graduating within the month, and moving away to college after that."
Jamie joins her by the sink, turning her in his arms so her back is pressed against the counter. He leans in, kissing her lips and down to her neck, moving her hair out of the way to get better access. She sighs at the contact before Jamie pulls back, saying, "I dinna want ye tae make a big life decision wi'out truly thinking through it. Through all of it."
She worries her lips, breathing out deeply through her nose and knowing he's right. Claire wraps her arms around his neck, pulling him down for another sound kiss. She knows it's a big decision, but, "I'm not saying I want to move right now," she chuckles, her hands trailing from his neck to his shoulders, rubbing lightly. "It's just something to think about as a possibility. I obviously can't move now, not with Julia still in high school." She grows nervous, asking with wide eyes, "But would… would you want me here, though? Eventually?"
Jamie leans in quicker than her brain can comprehend, peppering her lips with kisses over and over again as he cups her cheeks. "Sassenach, o'course I would." He smiles, shaking his head. "I ken it sounds beyond crazy, we've only been together fer two months, but," he pauses, looking at her so tenderly that his gaze alone makes her want to weep, "I know this is something real, mo chridhe. I always have."
She smiles, hoisting herself onto her tiptoes to kiss him one more time, too excited by the possibilities opening up before them to even inquire about the newest pet name in his apparently long list of names for her.
"It's a lot to think about for sure," Claire admits, looking down at her phone when it begins to ring. "Oh, it's Julia's FaceTime. Ready?"
Jamie takes a deep breath but nods, saying he is.
Claire grins. Since she'd met Fergus, Jamie had spent the last three days saying it was only fair that he meet Julia, even if it was just over FaceTime. She's seen him once before, weeks ago, but in passing as she ran out of the house to Lizzie's.
But this would be… more official.
She'd talked with Julia last night, confirming that they could FaceTime today. It was only seven in the morning over there, but Julia had to be up early anyway for school.
"Hi, darling," Claire greets, stepping out from between Jamie and the counter. "How are you?"
Julia huffs and yawns, saying, "I'm fine, tired as always this early. But I'm glad I get done at noon today for early release!"
Claire laughs, eyes watching as Jamie joins her at the island, sitting in the barstool beside her.
"Well, before you head to school, sweetheart, I wanted you to meet Jamie."
She turns the phone so Jamie is in view, and she beams as she watches his face, his eyes lighting up as he truly gets to see Julia as more than a photograph or a blur of curly dark hair rushing out of the house. His ears are turning pink, and she chuckles under her breath at how nervous he is. "Hi, Julia."
"Hi, Jamie!" Julia calls, and Claire scoots her chair so they can both be on the screen. "How are you?"
Jamie smiles, telling her that he's well, except he doesn't want her mother to leave.
Julia laughs. "I'm sure Mom doesn't want to leave either."
Jamie looks to Claire, both grinning at the other.
"Well, you're right and you're wrong," Claire pipes in with a laugh. "I'm not ready to leave him, but I am ready to see you."
Julia rolls her eyes but smiles, saying, "It's always hard to leave your manfriend behind."
Claire laughs, shaking her head. "Alright, missy, none of that."
Jamie laughs at the pair of them, his hand that isn't holding the phone landing on her thigh and squeezing supportively.
Julia and Jamie talk for a few minutes, Jamie inquiring about her college coming up and what she wants to study. She explains to him that she isn't completely sure. She loves science so she thought about doing something in that field, research or something of the sort. But she also loves History, saying she's also thinking through majoring in that so she could maybe teach it one day. "But that sounds… kind of boring," she chuckles, "so I just don't know. I think I'm leaning more toward the science field, maybe anthropology so I can combine my love of understanding people's histories and science!"
Jamie grins, looking over at Claire. "Ye sound like quite the smart lass, just like yer mam." Julia chuckles, but agrees, and Jamie tells her he wouldn't be surprised if she became an archeologist like Lamb.
"It's not totally out of the realm of possibilities," the teen replies with a beaming smile on her face. "That would actually be really cool."
Claire smiles, imagining Julia going off with Uncle Lamb on all his adventures and the stories they would tell.
"Darling, we have to go soon, but are you sure you're still alright to pick me up at the airport?" she asks in concern, "I know I get in pretty late, Joe can just do it if you want."
Another teenage eye roll as Julia huffs, "Mom, it'll be like… ten o'clock. I stay up later than that on any given Friday night anyway."
Claire chuckles but sighs, saying she still wants Joe to at least go with her so she doesn't worry the whole flight home.
"Fine," Julia sighs, smiling at her mother. "Is he not working, though? I thought he had a late shift."
"I don't believe so, but I'll double check."
Julia shrugs, saying, "I think he's taking all the late shifts so you can be front and center when the bosses come by." She giggles. "He wants you to shine since you're up for the chief of surgery position!"
Jamie's hand leaves her thigh, and she looks to him, smiling. Claire laughs at Julia, saying neither she nor Joe have control of the schedule. "That's just how it's worked out lately."
"Sure, sure, whatever you say, Dr. Beauchamp."
Now it's Claire's turn to roll her eyes. "Alright, love, well I'll see you later tonight. I love you."
"Love you too. Bye, Jamie! It was nice meeting you!"
Jamie smiles brightly at the screen, saying much the same to her. "I'll see ye in person soon fer yer graduation!"
"Yeah!" Julia exclaims, calling out, "Bye, guys!" before she blows Claire a kiss and hangs up.
Setting her phone down, Claire leans against the backrest of the barstool. She rubs her neck and yawns, knowing she needs at least two coffees to wake up fully, despite it already being quarter after noon.
Claire opens her eyes, looking over to Jamie.
He's looking at her with the oddest expression, like she's betrayed him in some way. "What?" she asks, sitting up again and placing her hand on his knee. "What's wrong?"
"Ye… ye're up for a promotion and ye'd give that up just tae move here?"
She bites her lip, not wanting to say too much. She doesn't want to confess that she loves him enough that she'd give up the next step in her career. But she doesn't want to admit that, doesn't want to say it in so many words, because what if he doesn't love her yet? What if she's getting ahead of herself?
"I… I don't know, Jamie," is what she settles on flimsily, standing from the stool and pulling him with her. She draws him into a hug, saying, "It's not a guaranteed thing, there's a lot to consider. But let's not think about all of that right now. Let's just enjoy our last few moments together, alright?"
"Aye."
He's quiet after that, and she can tell there's more he wants to say but won't voice it, which bothers her—worries her, too.
She tries to make the most of their last hour together, trying to pass the time by talking about Fergus and Young Ian and what advice he thinks Fergus gave the young boy the other day.
But it's to no avail. Things are… off. And Claire isn't sure what to do or say.
{*************************}
Jamie drops her off at the airport, both with tears in their eyes. He holds her close, and she nuzzles her nose into his neck, not wanting to go, especially with this awkwardness between them.
"I've never been very good at saying goodbye," she whispers tearfully, kissing his cheek. "I'll call you when I land."
He nods, pressing a kiss to her lips. "Alright, Sassenach."
She kisses him again, squeezing his hand before reluctantly letting go.
"I'll see you in a few weeks in Boston."
"Aye," he grunts, picking her hand back up and placing a kiss on her old ring. "Goodbye, Sassenach."
The way he says goodbye makes her stomach drop, and she feels uneasy with the way things are being left. But there's nothing she can do now, there's no time to talk things through or figure out what's wrong. She has a flight to catch.
With one last kiss, Claire takes her bag and heads toward the counter at her airline's section of the airport.
I really like him! is what Julia's most recent text reads, and as Claire waits in line to check her bag, she grins, typing back and telling her daughter that she really likes him, too with a little wink face emoji.
Julia sends back an eye roll emoji and the laughing face before telling her she loves her and to have a safe flight.
She gets to her gate and the closer it draws to boarding time, there's an announcement that the flight is going to be delayed by an hour due to inclimate weather.
Claire takes out her phone, texting Julia and Joe to let them know, and she silently curses the weather. She could've had an extra hour with Jamie had she known; they could have talked about whatever strange discomfort was lingering between them this afternoon.
Texting Jamie, she keeps him informed about the delayed flight, but receives no answer.
She busies herself by reading and grabbing a snack, and by the time she's finally boarding her flight, still with no reply from Jamie other than him giving her message a dismissive thumbs down, she can't ignore the knot in her stomach and wonders what it all means.
{**************************}
The whole flight home, she stews over their conversation in his kitchen.
Things had been going so well, but he seemed to completely shut down once he found out about her promotion.
Her mind races, going over their goodbye and how tense it seemed, and she hates that her wonderful trip had to end on such a sour note.
She knows what he's doing. Because he's done it before. He's trying to protect her, to let her become the chief of surgery. It wouldn't be the biggest loss to her if she didn't get it, it wouldn't set her back in her career by any means. And the position isn't even guaranteed. There's eleven other doctors up for consideration, including Louise, so it's not like she definitely has the job in the bag. She'd be staying in Boston on a gamble, whereas moving to Scotland guarantees her multiple hospitals to choose from and Jamie.
But she's getting ahead of herself. This is crazy. She's only been dating him for two months.
And twenty years, her mind traitorously whispers back.
It's madness, and if anyone else were considering taking such a big leap so early into a relationship, she'd tell them not to. Tell them they were insane.
She blames Joe for this, honestly, putting these thoughts in her head. But now that they're there, and after spending two whole weeks with Jamie, she could honestly imagine what life in Scotland might look like.
With a huff, she pulls down her eye mask, chugs the tiny bottle of vodka and passes out, hoping her brain can shut off at least for a few hours.
She lands eight and a half hours later, having slept the first half of the way, occupying herself with movies the rest of the time.
Joe and Julia are both there to pick her up, and she cries in her daughter's arms, thankful to have made it home safely and to have her child with her once again.
Claire smiles at Joe and wraps him in a hug as well, thanking him for taking care of Julia while she was gone.
Once they've retrieved her luggage and gotten settled in the car, Claire takes out her phone, sending Jamie a text.
I'm home. I know you're probably just now waking up so I hope you have a great day at work. I miss you already.
He replies back, which gives her a little hope, and he asks for her to call him when she's settled.
Over an hour later, with Julia fast asleep, Claire starts to unpack, her nerves keeping her awake even though it's close to one in the morning now.
Picking up her phone, she clicks on Jamie's name, waiting while it rings. She picks up her travel laundry bag, walking it into her closet and dumping all of her worn clothes into her hamper.
"Hi, Sassenach."
She smiles into the phone even though he can't see her. "Hey, there. Are you at work?"
"Aye."
Silence. He apparently doesn't have anything else to say, and she listens to him breathing for a moment, trying to calm her fears.
God, she hates this. It's so stilted and strange, a feeling she's not used to having with Jamie. She knows something is wrong, but he isn't opening up about it, isn't being up front.
Since he's not going out of his way to make conversation, she awkwardly fills in the silence. "Well…" she draws out, adding lamely, "my flight was good. I slept half of the way."
"That's good."
"Yeah." She huffs, taking her cosmetics bag and walking it into her bathroom to unload her things. She takes out her deodorant, setting it back in it's rightful place, then her perfume and makeup. He still isn't saying anything, and the awkward tension continues to grow, so she asks, "Do you have a busy day today?" trying to make conversation.
He grunts, seeming like he's distracted. "Nay, not really. Just a few meetings."
She rolls her eyes, annoyed now at how he's acting. "Okay," she elongates with a bit of sass, "so what's wrong, Jamie?"
Claire walks back into her bedroom, sitting on the end of her bed, crossing one leg underneath her as she listens to him sigh. She can't see him, but she knows him. Knows he's running a hand over his face and through his scruff like he does when he's stressed.
"I dinna ken," he admits, sounding dejected.
She pulls the phone away, clicking on the FaceTime button. If they're going to talk about this, she wants to be able to see him.
He accepts and his image pops up. He looks worn and exhausted, like he didn't sleep last night.
"Did you get any sleep?"
Jamie gives her a sad half-grin, shaking his head. "Only a few hours."
Inhaling, Claire closes her eyes, opening them on an exhale. "Jamie…"
"I dinna ken, Claire. I dinna ken what ye want me to say."
Claire
The use of her name irritates her more than anything, so she can't help the attitude in her voice when she responds. "I want you to be honest with me instead of being so short with me."
He sighs, sitting down at his desk. He looks at her for a moment, her chest heaving as she tries to control her emotions. "I want ye tae achieve yer dreams," he confesses, his eyes misting over with the words. "Ye ken I canna move there because of the farm, no' anytime soon anyway, otherwise I would in a heartbeat, but it's just not possible right now."
She scoffs, shaking her head. Her insecurities from earlier flaring back up. What if he really doesn't feel the same way about her? What if these two months have just been fun for him and nothing else and he's just using this as an excuse? Claire narrows her eyes, retorting with, "Sounds to me like you just don't actually want me there."
His eyes bug out, and she can see the vein in his neck starting to pop out. His telltale sign that he's getting angry.
"God, Claire," he says, taking deep breaths. "I just wouldna want ye tae regret it. Moving away from Julia, yer friends, it's a lot, and I would hate fer ye tae be miserable over here." He sighs, his eyes softening, and she can feel her annoyance dissipating as she sees what this is doing to him as well. "I can bear pain, Sassenach, but I canna bear yours. That would take more strength than I have," he admits quietly, adding, "And I ken it would cause ye pain tae be away from everything ye know, especially Julia."
She huffs, trying her best not to roll her eyes. "Well, I think you should let me make that decision," she snaps. "Like I said earlier, the position isn't even guaranteed, but that's not what this is even about. You don't seem to be listening to what I'm saying." Her ire is growing again, and she tries her best to calm her heart rate. He looks so passive, like he doesn't even care (she knows he's just trying to put up a wall, but that bothers her even more. "For Christ's sake, Jamie, I just told you before I left that I wasn't making any plans to move or stay in the near future."
He doesn't say much, just shrugs and sighs, repeating himself once more about not wanting to hold her back and whatever weak, half-assed excuse he can come up with. It's irritating, and she's miffed, and finds all she wants to do is get off the phone with him before one of them says something they'll regret even more.
"I willna give ye cause tae have regrets," he says, adding a short, "I should go. Gotta get out tae the farm."
"Fine," she clips, exhaling sharply. She tries to smooth out her features, knowing her face can never hide her true feelings. "Call me later?" she asks, trying to extend an olive branch despite how badly she doesn't want to be the bigger person right now.
"Aye." He nods, giving her a quick ghost of a smile before ending the call.
She blinks dumbly; he got off the phone quicker than she could even take a breath to say bye and it stings her pride, or rather her heart, even more than their conversation did.
Claire locks her phone, knows there wasn't much resolution, and she closes her eyes, tossing her phone on the mattress behind her. She wills the tears away, the image of Jamie's face as he said he didn't want to cause her pain burned into her subconscious.
Standing, she quickly tucks her suitcase away in her closet and hops in the shower, rinsing off the airport grime before crawling into bed.
She doesn't feel hopeful, she's terrified in fact, and feels exactly how she did twenty years ago when there was no clear resolution to their problem.
Sighing in defeat and exhaustion, she sets her alarm, then curls into a ball, crying herself to sleep that night as images of a teenage Claire doing much the same fill her mind.
{***********************}
Eek… trust the process, y'all. Lol
Let me know what you thought of this one! 3