A/N

Thanks for your patience guys, here's another one. Not sure how long this will be since I'm still improvising it really, but hopefully we are about one-third of the way through. It won't be a long book, just a silly one really.

Chapter III: Chaos is the better part of.. chaos?, Part I

"Everyone, can you please calm down!?"

Snow's panicked commands are drowned out by a chorus of baying fables, each and everyone one wanting something different but something similar at the same time.

All of them want to speak with the Sheriff about something bad which has happened to them - a Mundie called them an idiot, or another Fable threatened to tell everyone their story was a lie. However, all of them have unfortunately been refused by the simple fact Snow White doesn't even know where the Big Bad Wolf is at the moment.

The Mayor of Fabletown doesn't even know where her own Sheriff is. Ichabod Crane would be proud.

"All of you will be seen to, but I need to speak one-on-one so I know what the problem is!"

Again, no positive response from the ever-growing crowds. If anything, they seem to be ignoring her on purpose, instead relishing in the opportunity to cause some hassle now they know the Sheriff has been missing for some time. She tried to keep them unaware for as long as possible, but tightknit communities such as these tend to spread rumours within the matter of hours.

She probably shouldn't have told Beauty that Bigby is missing, because she then told her husband, and on goes the cycle.

"Our problems can only be solved by Bigby!" one of the crowd yells out to the approval of the others, and Snow White recognises the voice as one of the more troublesome members of the community.

Tweedle-dee will take any opportunity to cause some mischief, and they can get away with it without any broken bones or bloody noses with the Sheriff not around.

"Dee, get your brother and go home please," Snow attempts to somewhat cool the situation down, but no-one inside the crowds makes a move for the exit. "Fine. If this is how you want to play it, how about we settle this the old-fashioned way?"

Nothing. No-one even bothered to listen.

"I said, how about we solve this THE OLD FASHIONED WAY!"

Silence.

There we go, Snow muses to herself. Finally, some room to talk and solve the situation.

"I get it, okay, Bigby solves a lot of the problems you are faced with. Since he is not here, we'll do things how they used to be done," Snow begins, nodding for Mufkin to retrieve the one thing they need to help solve this situation. "I want all of you to stay quiet and form an orderly line.. anyone who doesn't do so.. I'll be adding you all to a special list for Bigby when he comes back."

Listening to her for what seems as though the first time in the past few days, the group que up and wait for the Magic Mirror to be brought to Snow's desk. Mufkin takes as long as he usually does before dropping the Mirror down on the desk with a loud thump.

"Thanks Mufkin, but be a bit more gentle next time," the Mayor thanks the winged, green monkey and he flies off to find some alcohol to drink as usual. "Stay away from the whiskey, please."

"Now," she begins, turning to the fist person in line. "Johann the Butcher, the mirror is all yours."

Nodding in acknowledgment, the cheery butcher strolls forwards and stares into the mirror. Flashing into life, the mirror looks back at his with disgust.

"How can I help? As long as you keep those grubby fingers from my gleaming surface," the mirror sighs.

"Well, the Tweedle twins came into my butchery, and I thought it would be for their usual purchases. Little did I know, they came to me and said if I don't provide a discount on my fabletown-famous sausages - yours for five dollars by the way.. if you wasn't a mirror - they would find where I get my meat and spit it in! Spit in it! How disgusting!"

For a second, the mirror contemplates the situation. Snow White isn't certain the mirror knows how to respond, and her fears come to reality as the mirror gives a blunt and equally frustrating response.

"I'm done."

With that, the mirror retreats into itself. Surprisingly, Snow didn't believe it was an even possible for the Mirror to refuse to give a response a perfectly reasonable scenario. Guess the mirror is as inpatient as the rest of Fabletown recently.

"Don't worry, we'll find another way!" Snow White forces a smile.

A/N

As always, thanks for reading guys and may the silliness continue for as long as necessary for the survival of my sanity!