THE HIEROPHANT…Write about someone who insists upon convention or conformity.
"Now that's just wrong."
"How on earth is it wrong? I drank it, didn't I?"
"You can't just make it like that! You can't!"
"I did. And it was delicious."
Kensi resisted the urge to snigger at herself as her darling fiancé practically pulled his hair out in exasperation. He was even making those weird gargling noises when he couldn't bring himself to form actual words. She absent-mindedly rubbed at her mouth to remove all traces of her delicious (if she may say so) drink as she waited for Deeks' brain to reboot.
"It's just an atrocity," he lamented, yes, actually lamented.
She didn't think people even did that outside of dramatic plays. He didn't even do it convincingly.
He gave her glass a dirty look like it had committed a cardinal sin. Kensi tugged it away from him and rolled her eyes.
"Yes. My smoothie is really an atrocity," she deadpanned, reaching across the table so she could wash it (actually, just to set it in the sink to do 'later' but that was beside the point).
"It is!" Deeks insisted, grabbing it before she could and holding it aloft. "Just look at it!" He shook it in her direction.
"There's nothing there," she said slowly, the 'idiot' was heavily implied.
"Anymore, thank goodness. I don't think I could have stood to look at it a second longer. It was causing me emotional distress."
"I don't see why you're even complaining about it," Kensi said with a pout of her own. "I thought you liked the fact I was enjoying your green smoothies that you always rave about."
"I did until you completely destroyed it!"
He now was sounding borderline hysterical.
"I used the exact ingredients you did! And I didn't even replace the kale with broccoli even though it tastes better."
"You don't substitute the kale. You just don't."
Kensi pinched the bridge of her nose and internally counted to ten. Then she repeated it in Portuguese. Why exactly where they arguing about a smoothie off all things? Maybe doing it in Japanese as well would be helpful. Ah, it was. She no longer felt the urge to throw him across the room.
"I didn't substitute the kale. I followed your instructions. You watched me make it."
He did, apparently not trusting her with kitchen appliances. Especially not those with rapidly spinning blades. He had even handed her each of the fruit and vegetables as she needed them. There was literally no way she could have screwed it up. She didn't screw it up.
"You can't just put the liquid of your smoothie in first," he complained, poking her glass suspiciously. "It ruins the whole experience."
Kensi slapped his hand away and tutted at him, snatching the glass from his hand.
"You're being ridiculous. It's a smoothie. It all ends up as liquid and in my stomach anyway. It doesn't matter."
Looking at her incredulously, Deeks retorted, "That's like saying it doesn't matter what your food looks like, it can all be mashed up on your plate because that's basically how it ends up."
He triumphantly folded his arms at that. Daring her to come with a counter argument.
"Still doesn't matter."
"Of course, it does! Putting the ingredients in is a part of the whole experience."
"If you're a child maybe," Kensi retorted scathing, getting fed up with him. "It's not a complex chemical reaction. It literally does not matter the order you stick the ingredients in."
Deeks gaped her and then shook his head disapprovingly as if she was the lost cause here.
"Kensalina, Kensalina, Kensalina. Of course, it matters how you put everything together. It's all a delicate balance between the ingredients and the smoothness of your smoothie. The flavours should dance across your tongue."
"You are making this far more complicated than it needs to be. And 'dance across your tongue'? Really?"
"Just because you don't appreciate your food doesn't mean everyone else doesn't," Deeks retorted, nose in the air.
Kensi did the only thing that she could think of to get one up on him. She thumped him.
"Owww," he moaned, rubbing his arm and pouting. "Seriously?"
"Pedantic food snob," Kensi said accusingly.
"Someone has to be!"
"Not over smoothies!"
"You have to start somewhere," Deeks said with a shrug. "Now, why don't I make you a proper smoothie."
"I've already had a smoothie."
"Yes, but this one will be better," Deeks informed her, going to the fridge to grab the necessary vegetables.
"I don't want another smoothie, " Kensi claimed, even though another one sounded really good.
Hey, it wasn't anything to do with Deeks' 'smoothie skills', she could always eat. But she did not want to give him bragging rights. Her smoothie had been fine for goodness sake. Perfect even.
"You can always eat," Deeks scoffed.
Dammit, he knew her too well. Also, her stomach rumbled traitorously. Deeks gave her a triumphant look. "Smoothie, Princess?"
"Fine," she grumbled at his smirk. "But I'm helping."
His face fell.
"No, I'm good," he said quickly, hugging the ingredients closely.
"Don't be silly, it'll be quicker if we split the chopping. I'm quick at it."
"I am very familiar with your knife skills he replied warily, half expecting her to brandish the knife she kept at her waist.
Kensi nodded and smiled sweetly at him, "Good. You agree. I'll chop the fruit."
"What? No!"
"You literally just agreed."
"Did not!"
"Did to!"
Oh, they were resorting to childish arguing now, were they?
"This sort of thing causes wars," Deeks claimed.
"No, this will cause injuries," Kensi corrected threateningly.
Deeks took a quick step back from the table, out of thumping range.
"Just let me make you a smoothie," he whined at her, a dangerous tactic when her eye was twitching like that. "I like making you things."
Her eyes softened and she shook her head fondly at him.
"Oh, alright," she acquiesced, putting her hands in the air and backing away from the blender. "Go ahead, my OCD monkey man."
Deeks blew a raspberry at her.
"At least I'll be making it correctly."
It was a good thing that the bag of spinach was soft or that would have left a mark.