Nicky, You Have To Let Go Now
Abruptly reining in Coco, Nick dismounted before his horse actually came to a halt. He sprinted forward and did a knee slide, not caring the rock-strewn ground tore the fabric. Nick only had eyes and attention for the unmoving body lying on the side of the road.
For all his speed in arriving, Nick froze, unable to bring himself to reach out and touch Heath. His eyes fixated on Heath's lax face … one at peace … unlike Nick's heart, which beat a rapid tattoo. Recriminations filled his mind, as 'I'm too late,' repeated in a vicious cycle. So wrapped up in his self-flogging, he didn't notice Jarrod approaching.
Finally catching up to Nick, Jarrod's heart broke as he witnessed the scene before him. The perpetual motion machine of Brother Nick now appeared to be a stone statue, which led him to the only viable conclusion … they found Heath too late. Grief filling his heart for the loss of a brother he had only met four months ago, Jarrod slowly took a knee beside Nick.
Jarrod rested a hand on Nick's back as he swallowed hard upon seeing the condition of Heath's body. Although the ambient light didn't allow for vivid colors, the dark stains on Heath's soft blue shirt and tan pants told the story. Their brother bled out … all alone.
His voice choked with grief, Jarrod didn't expect a reply as he asked Heath, "Who did this to you?"
Those words broke the stone encasing Nick. Fury imbued his tone as he turned to Jarrod. "I'm going to find out and make them pay. No one hurts a member of my family and gets away with it."
A sad smile briefly landed on Jarrod's face. Happy for Nick's acceptance of Heath, but wholly gutted it came too damned late to mean anything to their brother. "First things first. Let's take him home. Then I'll be by your side searching for the foul person who killed our brother."
His gaze returning to Heath, Nick nodded, and unknown to him a single tear slipped down his face. He pulled off one black leather glove and leaned forward, his shaky fingers seeking to caress his little brother's cheek. The coldness his touch discovered cemented the agony filling his soul.
Broken inside, Nick closed his eyes as he whispered, "I'm sorry I wasn't here for you … that I didn't give you a chance. I'm more like Father than I realized—which isn't a good thing. I'm as fallible as he, perhaps more so. You deserved better from him and me. I'm so very sorry, brother."
The lone tear dripped from Nick's chin and splashed onto Heath's lips. Auto-reflexes reacting to moisture on his skin, Heath's tongue darted out to capture the much-needed liquid.
Jarrod blinked, unsure he witnessed what he thought he saw. Scrambling to the opposite side of Heath, he placed two fingers on the carotid artery and his other hand under Heath's nose. He detected a slight exhale before he picked up a slow beat. "My God, Nick, he's still alive!"
Nick's lashes flew open. "What?"
"Heath's alive."
Registering where Jarrod's hands were located, Nick moved his ungloved hand to Heath's neck and waited for the life-affirming pulse. "He won't be if we don't get him home. Help me lift him onto Coco. Then you can ride like the wind and let Mother know we're coming. Maybe send a wagon to meet me."
Rising, Jarrod gathered Coco's reins, pulling the horse from where he nibbled at the grass. Though not an easy job lifting Heath's deadweight, his body trim but all muscle, between the two of them they got him in Nick's saddle. Once Nick mounted behind his brother, sitting on the cantle, Jarrod then leapt on Jingo and rode into the night.
Nick secured Heath's back to his chest with one arm while applying pressure to the bullet wound with great care. With his other hand, he rested Heath's blood-matted head in the crook of his neck before gathering the reins in one hand. Nudging Coco with his heels, he set off at a gentle walk, hoping to reduce the jarring. "Please be a stubborn cuss and hang on, Heath. Home isn't too far … and your family is waiting for you."
Although he left the ranch at a gallop as expected, once out of sight, Barrett slowed to trot as his mind worked the issue. He needed to maintain the appearance of being innocent of any wrongdoing. Yeah, he shot off his mouth tonight to Wickham and Rogers, but as he reviewed his words, he figured he hadn't said anything damning.
And what he did say, if someone questioned him, he could spin to mean several things. Another plus is that Rogers and Wickham would back anything he did claim … they hated the whoreson as much as he did. It would be his word against Barkley's backwoods colt, and it was doubtful, based on the unconscious form he left in the road, Heath would ever know who shot him … or live long enough for that even to be an issue.
Barrett slowed to a walk and reached in his pocket, removing the cigar he pilfered off Heath when he checked his rifle handiwork. His first shot went a little wide, only grazing the dirty bastard's head, but his second one would ensure an agonizing death. Gut shots weren't as fast but were as effective in the long run.
He trailed the worthless upstart until he finally fell out of the saddle. Then he broke cover to check if he was dead. Barrett recalled grumbling, "You're still not dead?" before kicking the unconscious but still breathing bastard for daring to claim an unwarranted birthright.
To ensure Heath couldn't climb on his broken-down Modoc if he roused before dying, Barrett grabbed the reins, and although it balked at being led away, it was just a dumb animal, and he had the upper hand. Taking Gal to a ravine, he tied her lead to a tree and left her to die too. He never expected the horse to show up at the ranch. He still wasn't sure how she managed to get loose and return to the stables on her own.
After lighting the Cuban, he took a puff, enjoying the smoothness. His mind shifted to his future as the Barkley foreman … he would be able to afford these cigars once he attained the position.
All too soon for his liking, lights from Meyerson's ranch house came into view. Barrett snuffed out the partially smoked cigar and stuffed it back into his pocket for later. To ensure it appeared he rushed, Barrett spurred and whipped his horse into a gallop for the remainder of the trip.
"MOTHER! AUDRA! SILAS!"
Her gown swishing as she entered the foyer, Victoria started speaking before registering who blustered about since only one of her offspring entered the house so loudly. "Nicholas, please don't bring the rafters down with all your shout—" she halted as her gaze beheld her eldest. "Jarrod?"
Though the others weren't in the room yet, Jarrod moved directly to his mother and grasped her hands. "We found him … he's barely hanging on by a thread … I don't know if he'll be alive by the time Nick gets him home."
Concern lighting her hazel eyes, Victoria asked, "What happened?"
"We don't know how, but he's been shot … twice. One grazed his head, but the other is lodged in his abdomen." Jarrod pulled his mother to him … both needing to give and receive solace as he said, "Mother, Nick was shattered when we found Heath lying in the road. We both thought he was already dead."
Having heard his name as he reentered the house after talking with Chin, the new cook for the ranch hands, Silas hurried into the entry in time to catch Mister Jarrod's last statement. Without hesitation, Silas said, "Mr. Heath is a strong boy. I'll start boiling water, then gather towels and sheets to prepare his room."
Victoria turned to the majordomo, thankful for his steadiness in crises. "Yes, thank you." Peering back at Jarrod, she said, "How far away are they? We need to send someone for Dr. Merar."
"Duke already sent someone to the Meyerson's and had the foresight to hitch a wagon. I ran across Duke and Wagner about two miles out, so by the time they reach Nick and Heath, that will be about three miles."
Audra breezed into the house, having spent longer than she expected brushing and talking with Gal. Surprised to find Jarrod back, her positive attitude had her saying, "You must've found him. Where is he … I'm going to give Heath a piece of my mind for scaring us like …" Audra trailed off as she comprehended something off. "Heath is alright … isn't he?"
Jarrod shook his head slowly as he stepped towards his sister, hating the fact he must prepare her for the worst. "He is in terrible shape … and might not make it home … alive."
"No!" Audra's eyes welled with tears as her hand covered her mouth. When her mother opened her arms to her, Audra rushed into them. "Heath, oh, Heath. Mother, he only just found his family … this is so unfair."
Aware she had a few minutes to comfort her only daughter, Victoria gently rocked her as she whispered reassurances, not only for Audra but herself as well. She thoroughly agreed it was not fair … but then life rarely was. If it had been, Heath wouldn't have suffered a childhood of deprivation and ridicule while the rest of Tom's children lived in a world of plenty and were treated with the utmost respect. Indeed, life could be so unfair.
The wagon pulled through the Barkley arch, with Nick, Duke, and Heath in the back and Chad driving with Coco tied to the rear. As Duke applied pressure to Heath's wound, Nick cradled Heath's head in his lap. Nick continued to stare at the brother he refused to claim … until tonight … and silently begged for Heath to keep breathing so he would have a chance to make things right between them.
For the second time tonight, he was so absorbed in his thoughts, Nick failed to realize they reached the house and stopped. He also didn't hear Duke when the foreman, with the help of Jarrod and Chad, tried to move Heath to take him inside.
"Nicky, you have to let go now," Victoria said in a soft tone, worried not only for Heath but also Nick, given her second son's anguished expression.
Slowly turning his head to his mother, Nick said, "I can't. I'm not ready to let him go. I barely know my brother. It's too soon for him to die."
Reaching out, Victoria laid a hand on Nick's arm. "I didn't mean let him die. Heath needs to be carried to his room. You're home."
His surroundings registering, Nick became embarrassed for his show of tender emotions and misinterpreting his mother's words in front of the men. He cleared his throat and said, "Quite right."
Once Nick shifted Heath's head out of his lap and crouched at one corner of the blanket McColl brought with him, the four men lifted Heath out of the wagon and carried him up to his room, with Victoria following.
Victoria stood in the doorway as they laid Heath on the bed. Her heart leapt to her throat upon spying the amount of blood staining Heath's clothing and the paleness of his skin under the streaks of dirt. As the cowhand and Duke started for the door, Victoria said, "Thank you both for your assistance tonight. It is greatly appreciated."
Halting their progress to allow Victoria ingress, Duke spoke for both himself and Chad, "Least we could do, ma'am. I'll keep an eye out for Doc. He should be here soon."
After she passed, the two men stepped into the hall, but Duke paused outside. With a glance back at Tom's sons, Duke hoped it wouldn't be too late for the newest brother because the entire family would grieve his loss. Nick's change of attitude towards Heath warmed his old heart. He didn't think Nick realized his whispered words to the blond on the ride back could be overheard, but they had, and Duke was proud of the boy, now a man, he helped Tom raise—one of conviction who loved and protected his family with fierce intensity.
Moving into action, Victoria started giving orders, which her sons efficiently followed. Silas and Audra arrived with buckets of water as they began to undress Heath. To preserve Heath's dignity, Jarrod set his sister to the task of going downstairs to await Dr. Merar's arrival even though McColl would alert them. Still, it gave Audra a chore, which fulfilled her need to help.
"Mother, Nick, Silas, and I can do the rest," Jarrod said after they removed Heath's boots, socks, trousers, and shirt … leaving only his blood-stained drawers on.
With a huff, the petite yet mighty woman declared, "I changed your diapers. There isn't anything under his undergarments I haven't seen before."
Despite the gravity of the situation, Nick couldn't help but chuckle-snort and point out, "Mother, you never changed his diapers, and well, he does appear to be somewhat shy. So how about you step out for a moment, and we can do the deed, saving him future embarrassment."
Coming to a compromise in her head, Victoria pivoted, facing the hall as she said, "I'm not leaving. Do what needs to be done, and cover him with a sheet." As her sons worked behind her, Victoria's eyes landed on the photo of Leah on Heath's dresser and the Bible next to it. Although she hadn't told anyone, it was the presence of those two items in this room that told her Heath hadn't left for good. Heath would never abandon the only links he had to his mama.
"Okay, Mother. He's presentable."
Victoria turned and held back a response about being presentable. The son of her heart was nothing close at the moment. Blood matted his hair, and the grime covering his face highlighted the tear-tracks down his cheeks. And his stomach, oh God, the bullet hole appeared angry and inflamed, making her worry about infection. "Alright, let me wash him."
"I can do that, Mrs. Barkley," Silas offered.
"I'm sure you are quite capable, but it is a mother's right to care for her son, and I intend to do just that." As Victoria marched forward, Jarrod and Silas stepped back, making room for her.
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Sorry about the long wait ... life hasn't been kind to me lately ... too many curve balls sent my way. I hope to post more regularly moving forward. Happy reading.