Chapter Fourteen

Fact or Fiction

Elizabeth sought out Nathan and found him at the livery stables.

"Nathan?"

Having been deep in thought, he was startled and looked up from brushing Newton to find Elizabeth standing in the stable doorway. He quickly glanced back at Newton and continued to brush his horse.

"Yes?", he acknowledged her while still brushing Newton. "What can I help you with Elizabeth?", he asked with cautious concern.

"Nathan I need to talk you…in private…about something serious."

They both glanced at the stablehand who had just entered and was preparing to clean stalls. The stablehand heard Elizabeth and noticed the seriousness of her voice so turned and left leaving Nathan and Elizabeth facing each other in silence.

"I hope you'll hear me out Nathan. This means a lot to me to be able to tell you this."

"Haven't I always?", Nathan asks.

"Of course…always.", she answered quietly in an apologetic tone.

"I am listening Elizabeth," he cautiously whispered while not know what was coming at him this time.

"I know what I am about to say may not make sense but I assure you it is from the bottom of my heart…for what that's worth at this time.". She glances down then back up to meet his eyes with hers.

She continues, "I made a horrible mistake. I lied to you and to myself by saying I was not in love with you. I was trying to hurt you so you would not love me. I was running away from what my heart wanted. You knew it and it took me a while to admit it myself. I know deep down I was very much in love with you." She was talking so fast she could barely catch her breath between sentences afraid he would walk away.

Fighting back tears, "I don't expect you to still love me and I don't expect Allie to forgive me for hurting her…and you. I just want you and her to know how truly regretful and sorry I am for my actions and words."

She quickly blurted out that nothing happened between her and Lucas except for kissing. Nothing else. She went on to say that Lucas even admitted he knew she was always in love with Nathan. She asked Nathan for his forgiveness and asked if she could have another chance for his love. "I am in love with you Nathan...and you are not and never was a replacement for Jack nor had I been looking for Jack in you. You are you...Nathan. I know I don't deserve a second chance but…"

Nathan interjects with an uncharacteristically, stone cold tone before she can complete her plea, "I have had a lot of time to think about you Elizabeth. I want you to know that I do love you. Who wouldn't...but I was probably not actually in love with you. I think I was just feeling guilt for Jack's death."

The color washed out of her face as she took in his words. She knew she deserved that. She glanced down at the floor. With tears in her eyes she looked up at him but before she could speak he continued.

"The night after Ned and Florences wedding when you took me outside, held my hands and told me that you did not blame me for Jack's death…well…it freed me from the guilt I had been carrying. I had to think that maybe I had confused the love I felt for you with that guilt. Maybe freeing one would free the other. You freed me Elizabeth and I thank you for that."

Before he could say more she said, "I do understand Nathan."

With obvious sadness in her voice she says, "Let me know if you ever change your mind", She then turned around and walked through the open stable doors.

As she stepped outside the stable and started walking in the direction of the row houses she heard Nathan call out to her "Elizabeth?"

She quickly turns towards him while her heart raced. How she longed to hear him tell her one more time that he loved her or at the very least forgave her.

Nathan continued, "Please tell your friend Lucas that I think you are impeccable."

She nodded as her own words were coming back to haunt her and she knew it. She quickly turned back around while trying to control her tears and walked down the street. She knew she deserved everything she had just gotten back. Her heart ached so much she could barely walk. For a moment outside she steadied herself against the outside wall. She took a deep breath and started walking towards Rosemary's house to pick up Little Jack. Her legs were walking but she knew she left her heart behind in that stable with Nathan.

"Elizabeth?"

Startled once more by his voice, she twirled immediately around to face him. Nathan is walking slowly towards her, caring pain now showing on his face.

"Yes that night holding hands you did free me from my guilt about Jack's death. I thought it freed me from loving you. I needed to be free…free from hurt, free from rejection…from my love for you. I realized it did not change that. I was hurt when I just now said I was not in love with you Elizabeth. I can't let you walk away thinking that because…", he paused, looked off to the side then said, "I am. I am still in love with you. I can't just turn that off but I don't want Allie to get hurt again."

"Oh Nathan! Yes! Yes! I will never hurt you or Allie like that again. Not ever. I am so sorry."

"I want to know something first Elizabeth. Is the way you are feeling right now, well…is it fact or fiction?"

"100% without a doubt, it's fact Nathan."

"Yes then. We can still try. I am willing but we do need to take it slow and we both need to talk to Allie."

Elizabeth ran into his arms hugging him as tight as she could and he hugging her back. He put his hands on both sides of her face then gently lifted her face to his. Softly he kissed her lips while using his thumbs to wipe the tears that ran down her cheeks.

"Nathan I see you as Nathan, the man you are. What I said about seeing Jack in you was just cruel. I was scared to love you. I am not at all scared now. The only thing that scares me now is about losing you and Allie. You have always been in my heart. Will you forgive me?"

Nathan whispered, "How could I not? You had to find you own way to me…or not to me. I'm truly the happiest man in the world right now."

Elizabeth, "Do you think Allie will forgive me too?"

"Yes I believe she will. I know she will but we need to talk to her and give her time."

All of a sudden they heard clapping. Nathan and Elizabeth had been so wrapped up in the moment that they had not noticed Lee, Rosemary, Allie and Jack gathered close enough to have seen and heard most of what just happened. They were smiling and clapping with delight.

Lucas had also been watching as he always seemed to be doing, then bowed his head down in thought. He looked up and gave a halfhearted smile with a nod then raised his teacup to acknowledge what he could not deny. Both Nathan and Elizabeth nodded back to Lucas also acknowledging what they too could not deny. With that Lucas walked back inside the saloon.

Rosemary was holding Little Jack while Allie was standing beside her. Elizabeth looked at them and said to both, "Please forgive me. I love all of you so much."

With one arm holding onto Nathan's waist, Elizabeth opened her other arm gesturing for them to come while hoping they would. Allie looked up at Rosemary, tilted her head as in quick thought then with a big grin says "Oh what the heck" and ran into Elizabeth's open arm. Rosemary brought Little Jack over and placed him in Nathan's open arm.

Rosemary smiled at all of them, "Like I've always said…it's what's in the heart that matters."

Rosemary did a theatrical bow, smiled, then in actress fashion blew them a kiss and happily walked away to rejoin Lee and head home.

Once again the world felt right.