Now that the moment was upon them. That Elaina had finally defied what she had been told concerning his death and was trusting her instincts. He wished he had just told her instead…
It was like she felt deceived by the look in her eyes. That everything she had known until then had been a lie, as the years she mourned for him were wasted, as he had been alive though never returned to her until now.
He had wanted to. Many times, in fact. But he hadn't been strong enough to come back to the kingdom which had made him an orphan, struggling with each passing day. Hunger was a friend to him. Lost in where he belonged, for they would look for him at his parents' house, suspecting he could conjure magic. They were right. But he had yet to master it. he needed to find a teacher. Someone to help him control it, for he only had one desire at that time. To use the very thing Uther feared to kill him and avenge his parents.
He was disgusted that was his sole purpose for survival. Not the girl who now stood as a woman. She would come to him only in the sweet abyss of dreams. But by day when he practiced his enchantments, his parent's faces, as they screamed within the fire, were what pushed him.
When it had been long enough and he thought it safe to return, that's when he came back to the cottage. Vermin had made their nests inside, but everything was just as they had left it, the table and chairs toppled over where the guards had dragged them away, straight to the pyre. Time had frozen in one aspect, but for mother nature reclaiming the plot the house stood.
He had been gladdened that their books were intact if a little dusty and sheltering spiders. He poured over them and their healing scriptures. He picked things up quickly and knew a little already from what his father and mother had taught him in their making of healing potions.
Eventually he wandered out to the field he shared with Elaina and became consumed in the memory of her and how the last time he had been there, she had promised him a kiss. It was simpler and happier times, where all Edwin had wanted was a kiss from a sweet girl. Then as he had grown, he wondered what she looked like by now. It was enough to make him go into Camelot for the first time, asking the locals of her and hearing nothing but praise and amusement for her boldness, in sticking up to Uther. He shared in their laughter, for she had been that way since they were children.
Then he saw her.
There was no mistaking it. his heart responded to her though it was a fleeting moment where she rode through the streets, on her black mare to the castle.
He knew in an instant that now he hungered for far more and it was she who he needed to fulfil him. A glimpse was not enough for all the years they had been robbed of.
He would get all that he wanted, Elaina and revenge.
Thus, his plan was formulated.
Elaina put as much distance as she could manage between them, while inside the small cluttered room. She was afraid for what she would do. One side telling her to slap him for playing her like this, the other wanted to hold him and never let go.
All this time she thought she was going mad, but her hunch had been right from the start. Then at the same time, as she had been able to brave the sight of his face, she couldn't now. She knew how it had happened. Had heard his blood curdling screams, as he fought to save his parents. Her own father had to stop him.
He wasn't a stranger or a mystery, he was Edwin, and his scars broke her heart.
She leant against the wall, trying to catch her breath for a different reason now as she processed everything.
"why did he tell me that you had died!" Elaina demanded. Her father when finding she had seen everything, he told her that the little boy had perished from his injuries. Why would he lie to her?
"because he thought I had. Gaius, he saw my eyes turn gold while he tended to me. I couldn't get a handle over it and he didn't want to burden your father. Gorlois would have wanted to smuggle me out the city and betray his king, which would ruin a loyal man like him. So, Gaius lied. When I was finally fit enough to move, he put me on a boat headed to the west where he thought I'd be safe and some warlocks were said to live."
All that effort in keeping him safe, "does Gaius know who you are?"
Edwin shook his head, "I don't think he's far behind in figuring it out."
Elaina slowly turned around, seeing the boy in him perfectly. Astounded it took a little habit of his to confirm everything. She was a sucker for detail it would seem, as that would pass by anyone else.
"it's alright; Elaina please…"
Just as before when he escorted her into morgana's room, he held out his hand. This time it shook in waiting for her to accept it.
"please…" he begged.
How often had she wanted the chance to see Edwin again? To hold his hand and hear his voice tell her stories from a good book. It didn't matter why he had waited. what did, was that he was here now. she didn't want to take this miracle for granted. For right now, they were that little boy and girl who never got to see where their own story would have gone.
She ignored the hand and wrapped her arms around his neck. She had cried more in the pass week than she had her whole life, letting her tears soak into his shoulder as she sobbed.
He enfolded her within in arms, taking in the scent of her hair pressing his face. She was so soft and delicate and pure…
Everything that was innocent and good in his world, it emanated from Elaina and nothing else. He needed her to stay grounded when he did what he intended, so that she would be his connection of being the man his parents had wanted him to be.
"let's get out of here," he whispered.
Elaina was about to ask where, but she stopped herself.
She knew very well where…
The tree had grown some but where it had looked enormous back then, it wouldn't take much for Elaina to plop herself on the branch she used to adorn when Edwin read to her. in fact, she would probably snap it if she tried so unless she humiliated herself in front of him, she wasn't going to try.
The grass was beginning to brown and the flower heads crisp to the touch, with seeds being blown by the wind to plant wherever they landed. She had visions of the past, but there was nothing like the real thing. It made her giddy, the haunting impression that still lingered of her and Edwin playing games.
"it's exactly how I remembered."
She wouldn't sit on the branch, but she did take Edwin's old spot and he joined her.
"how you remembered; you never came back?" he asked.
"it wasn't the field I missed Edwin. It was you; coming here would have only reminded me that you were gone."
They sat in silence, with Elaina still adjusting to Muirden becoming Edwin. He knew so much of her secrets and about her in general and yet at the same time, didn't. It was odd, to be a stranger to someone who for the majority of your childhood had been a friend. From the age of ten onwards, there was a massive gap.
Her father's death, moving into the castle, Arthur becoming a brother, horse riding, her first ball…
There was so much she wanted to catch him up on.
"where did you get the name Muirden from?" she started.
He picked a blade of grass and twisted it around, "it was my mother's maiden name."
Elaina could see her now. Her round, freckled face, flushed from baking and where Edwin got his red hair from. Her brows were so faint she didn't look to have any, but she didn't need them to frown at her husband. He permanently sat on a large armchair, one leg crossed over the other, as glasses perched on the end of his hooked nose, the same as Edwin's. He had dirty blonde hair in need of combing and was very slight of frame, because he would forget to eat when caught up in a good book. He could finish three a day according to Edwin.
"Jayden… gosh I haven't said that name in years, or Gregor."
They would appear in that break in the wood to call Edwin back when it was late, or when they fancied giving Elaina a greeting and a sweet treat to eat.
"they were simply mother and father to me."
They had lived in the forest outside the kingdom for years. They didn't openly use their magic, but their house had been filled with damning evidence. Gregor would not be ashamed or hide his people's knowledge, but patrols never investigated because their family had lived there for generations. Gregor had been the first to be born a sorcerer then he met and married another. They didn't flaunt their gifts and without a history of it, they went on unnoticed. Yet something happened that changed that.
"Edwin, why did Uther come for them that night. They had gone unnoticed by his purge, but it found them."
She didn't know if she had pressed him too far. He became fidgety, which Edwin rarely ever was and though he tried to disguise it, his lip trembled.
He wiped his hands over his face, as if to clear it of the emotion so he could tell her.
"they were becoming frightened. They were known by many sorcerers. it would only take one to reveal who and what they were. So, out of pure desperation they joined a group who practiced dark magic."
"Edwin!"
She was shocked at the prospect of two wholesome people, standing among such an organisation. They were the perpetrators, to how far things had gotten in magic being viewed as evil. They were cruel and involved innocents in their sacrifices and spells, that could do so much more than magic should be allowed. If there was a way, they would get an army of hell to fight for them and drench the land in blood.
That wasn't to excuse Uther's involvement, because with him it had all started, this war against all those who were sorcerers. But for Jayden and Gregor to want to go as far as a dark organisation...
"they didn't last long. They didn't approve of their methods and walked away, but before they got far, Uther's men infiltrated the gathering, following my mother and father home, when they came back for me. I watched them get arrested and ran all the way to where they were being taken. They were innocent of dark magic, Elaina. They just wanted the ability to protect me."
Elaina had underestimated the lengths a parent would go for the sake of their child. If it were her own, maybe she would have sought out the dark forces to keep her babe in the life of happiness they had always known. she couldn't judge them for their actions. As Edwin said, they weren't concerned by what it meant for them, only he was at the forefront of all their efforts to stay strong and protected. They died in the pursuit.
"I was there," Elaina admitted, "I was there when what happened…happened. I watched you and I couldn't do anything to help. Your parent's ashes, I had held them in my hands."
She remembered thinking how gritty they were, reeling in the fact that this was of two people. nothing left to distinguish Jayden from Gregor. She had wanted to preserve them and take them back somewhere the wind could carry them. A burial wasn't achievable, but she said a pray her father had taught her not knowing if they could hear the words of her god.
"I'm so sorry Edwin. I'm sorry that they are gone. That Uther was the one who did it. but you cannot be as evil, as he has proven himself capable of being. That is not the revenge your parents would want."