Author's note: I don't know what to say as a warning for this, but self-loathing? Internal racism? Anyway, it's Loki's feelings about his Frost Giant heritage.

Chapter Thirteen

"You need to sleep," was the first thing Natasha said when she saw Arianna basically holding herself together on the bed. "You really need to sleep. But I know you won't be able to for a while. You had a nightmare."

Of course she had. She was exhausted and hurt, vulnerable to her memories. Vulnerable to the demons she'd never been able to fully exorcise. She'd had to wake up alone, afraid, and in the dark.

Where was Loki? Natasha knew from experience that when Aries woke up from one of her nightmares about that night that she woke up screaming. Why hadn't Loki come running? He had to have heard her?

Maybe he'd gone to sleep. He'd been through a lot too and had been just as exhausted as everyone else.

Considering the nature of Arianna's dream, a male presence may not have been welcome anyway, and she had asked for Natasha specifically.

"Do you need anything?"

Arianna usually wanted water or just to have Natasha sit with her. This time it was the latter, so that was what she did. Arianna even fell asleep after about thirty minutes. Natasha allowed herself to rest too, there beside Aries, and it was mostly peacefully.

It helped, not being alone.

When Arianna woke up for good at around noon Natasha was still there, though she was seated on a chair, not lying on the bed. Arianna wondered how long she'd been awake and sitting there.

Arianna still felt sluggish, and her eyes were dry and gritty. She was probably dehydrated, to be honest. She hadn't had anything to eat or drink since the blueberry muffin and the French vanilla cappuccino at the café and the glass of water she'd had when Tony had brought her back to the tower. Her fault, really, because she should've taken better care of herself.

"You okay?" Natasha asked.

"Been better."

"Banner contacted me about an hour ago. He's got the antibiotics, but you were sleeping peacefully and your temperature hasn't spiked, so he said to wait for you to wake up. I'm supposed to take you back down to the lab."

"He'll want me to stay down there to make sure the medicine works, of course."

"Of course." Natasha sent her a small smile. "There shouldn't be a problem, though."

Arianna slipped on a pair of jeans but didn't bother changing out of the sleep shirt. She didn't bother putting shoes on either.

"Ready?" Natasha asked.

"Yeah. Sure."

They left her room and Arianna stopped at Loki's, knocked on the door. She didn't hear anything from the other side.

"Loki, are you awake?" No answer. "I'm going down to the lab, if you –"

Her defenses went up. She didn't know what had happened and she didn't owe Loki any explanations at all.

"Whatever. I'll be in the lab."

She didn't miss the questioning glance Natasha sent her, but she didn't feel like talking about it.

Tony was about to crash. He was actually planning on going to bed. He just wanted to make sure the antibiotics worked and that Arianna didn't have an allergic reaction or anything like that.

He and Banner were the only ones in the lab at the moment, Steve and Clint having gone to bed hours ago, and were now waiting for Natasha and Aries to make an appearance.

He'd been over the security feed again. He'd been more worried about the men that had taken Aries when he'd watched it before and hadn't watched the whole thing. Now that he was watching the whole thing, Tony realized that he had missed a very important thing by not playing the whole video through. Aries had thrown a table at the two men. She'd flicked her wrist and there the table had gone.

She was getting stronger and learning how to control her abilities in different ways. Tony was proud and surprisingly not worried about having a backup plan in case she suddenly lost control.

Pain made her lose control, but if someone was hurting her, they deserved whatever they got when her defenses kicked in.

The security feed from the coffeehouse was still up and running when Natasha and Arianna reached the lab. They both seemed stronger than the night before, but they still weren't at their best. He hadn't expected them to be.

Arianna had stopped right inside the entrance way, eyes on the screen replaying her burst of power from the day before.

"I forgot I did that," she admitted sheepishly. She looked at Banner. "I guess I can smash things too."

Her tone was soft, non-judgmental, and Bruce responded by actually giving her a small smile, bashful in the way Banner usually was.

"Guess you can. I think your reactions are slightly tamer than my own."

She moved farther into the lab, Natasha close behind her, and seated herself near Banner. Bruce cleaned the spot in the crook of her arm before injecting the antibiotics into her. Once it was all over, he put a Band-Aid over the spot.

"Done," he said. "That should break the fever for good, and you shouldn't need another injection since we caught it so soon."

"Good."

"I'm gonna give you two weeks worth of antibiotics. Take one in the morning and one at night. Make sure you take all of them even if you start feeling better."

"Sure thing, Dr. Banner.

Arianna stopped by Loki's room again as she was on her way to her own. She felt only slightly better, but it was something. She'd stayed down in the lab for an hour to make sure she didn't respond badly to the antibiotics and she hadn't.

So now she was knocking on Loki's door again. It was pathetic, really. She felt as if she were begging for attention and she didn't do that.

"Loki, I'm back from the lab. Got a shot of antibiotics, and the geniuses think I'll be okay again soon."

When she didn't get an answer, she tried the door knob. Loki had locked the door. He obviously didn't wish to be disturbed.

"Loki? At least let me know you're okay. Please?" Again no response. "I will break this door down, and you know I can do it."

"Don't come in here." His voice sounded strange, deeper and growly. "I'm really not well."

Not well? What did that mean? Had the same bacteria she'd contacted been introduced to his system? A system that until a few months ago had had no need to build up immunity to Earth's germs and so had no defense against them? And why hadn't she thought about that before? That was something they probably needed to look into, but that was more Bruce's department.

"Loki . . . if you're sick, you really need to let me in."

"No. I . . . I wish to be alone. I need rest."

"Okay." She could get behind that. Maybe he'd feel better later. "But I'm checking on you later if you don't come out to eat. You have to eat and drink."

"Your concern is noted."

Check on him she did. She brought him soup and water on a tray. He remembered it was the kind where he could eat in bed. She wasn't up to her normal strength and yet she was still taking care of him.

He did not deserve such loyalty, such care. The door was still locked when she came to check on him, to bring him food and water.

"I'll get it. Just leave it outside the door."

"Why?"

"Because I asked you to."

"Well, I'm asking you to let me in. I was angry at you because of last night, Loki, but now you're worrying me."

"I'll be fine. Just . . . don't concern yourself with me."

There was silence. She had obviously set the tray down and was leaving. Good. He still had no clue how to make his Jotun appearance fade to the background. He was still blue, and the room was cooler than it should've been. Luckily each room's temperature could be controlled from the inside and Jarvis probably thought – sensed? Whatever thought was to Jarvis – that Loki had the AC on high.

Suddenly the lock clicked and Arianna was coming in and he had no clue what to do.

"So I didn't break the door down, but I did –"

Her voice cut off when she caught sight of him. The tray in her hands fell to the floor and the noise made her jump. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath, and slowly opened them.

To her credit, she didn't scream. Though that was probably from shock and not from lack of fear.

"I told you not to come in," he said.

Her eyes snapped to his face at the sound of his voice.

"Loki?" Her voice was a whisper. "What happened? Why're you blue? Why's it so cold in here? And why're your eyes red? I . . . they're supposed to be green. Am I hallucinating?"

"No. You are seeing exactly what you think you are."

"How? Why?"

There was still no fear, only confusion. Loki knew then that Arianna had no idea what he was.

"Close the door. You and I need to talk."

"You think?" she asked even as she did as he'd told her. "This started last night, I assume. When you started acting weird. You wanted me to leave so I wouldn't see. I get that. And this, this is why your hand was cold, why it's cold in here."

"All is correct, my very clever Arianna."

She sighed. "I'm gonna clean up this mess, then we can talk."

Arianna took her time cleaning up the mess of soup and water. She was glad the room wasn't carpeted. That would have caused even more of a mess.

Loki was standing on the other side of the room, obviously wanting to keep away from her. He hadn't moved since she'd come into the room.

She'd been shocked when she'd first walked in. Why wouldn't she have been? She'd entered the room expecting to see Loki and had found a tall, blue man that she didn't know until he'd spoken. Underneath it all Loki was there.

She didn't speak until she'd finished cleaning and even then she didn't know what to say.

"Loki . . . Maybe you should start."

"With what?"

"Maybe by explaining why you're blue and why you never thought I might need to know you could turn blue."

"I didn't think it would be a problem now that I am mortal. It hasn't been." Loki sighed. "As for why I am . . . in the form I am in currently, this is my true form. I am a monster."

"Because you're a different color?"

Arianna tried to make light of it. She wanted Loki to relax. She wasn't afraid, not now that she knew it was Loki there with her.

"I mean, yeah, the red eyes are kind of creepy, and I miss your green ones, but the blue skin is okay."

"This is not a joking matter!" Loki almost yelled. "This is not about what I look like. It's about what I am."

"And what exactly are you?"

"A Frost Giant! I come from a race of people who do nothing but kill and brutalize." Loki stepped forward then. "My touch can freeze you to death or give you frost bite."

Realizing Loki wanted to be as serious as possible about this, she switched tactics.

"How did you come to be an Asgardian Prince then?"

"Jotunheim and Asgard were at war with each other centuries ago, more than a millennium actually. I was still a baby, and I don't remember it. I only know what Odin and my mother – Frigga – told me. I was born and abandoned in Jotunheim while the war was still happening. I was small for a Frost Giant and so I was cast out."

"Small? You're like six-foot-two!"

Loki actually let a smile grace his lips. At least he could still do that. She could still reach him.

"I'm tall now, but at the time I was considered a runt. Thrown away because of it. Odin –"

"Wait. You said this happened over a millennium ago? How old are you?"

"Old enough for there to be legends written about me. I wouldn't know how to age myself in human years."

"Fair enough. Go on."

"Odin found me, took me to Asgard. Used a simple charm to make me appear Asgardian. I spent ages – centuries – not knowing my heritage, centuries being Odin's son but always feeling second best, always in the shadow of Thor. Odin taught us about the things the Frost Giants did, taught us to hate them, fear them, because they were monsters."

"No," Arianna said. "That's one side of the story. Odin's side. I don't know him, but I know history. When there's a war, each side tries to make the war justifiable by vilifying the other side. Not every individual of a race is evil. It doesn't work that way."

"Perhaps, but I was brought up to hate them and when I found out about my true nature, I hated myself. And Odin for keeping it from me. He admitted to hoping I could create peace between the two realms."

Arianna sat down on the bed and pulled the blanket up around her. She was getting cold, but it wasn't anything she couldn't fix with a blanket.

"How did you find out?"

"It was by chance. I played a not-so-harmless prank that went farther than I had planned, and Thor became offended. It ended with us taking a trip to Jotunheim."

"A prank?"

Loki began pacing back and forth.

"Thor was to have a coronation. It was becoming time for him to accept his role as the next king of Asgard. I did not believe he was ready. I caused a distraction by allowing a few Frost Giants into Asgard. I only wished to disrupt the ceremony. I knew Thor would react and I needed Odin to see someone impulsive would never be a good king."

Arianna didn't say it, but she thought Loki acted on impulse a lot, especially when he was under an emotional strain.

"A battle ensued once we were in Jotunheim and one of the Frost Giants grabbed my arm. He was probably trying to freeze me, to be honest. Instead, my skin reacted by changing color. And just like that, I was devastated."

"Loki . . ."

She had no clue what to say. She couldn't make this better with words, and he no longer had his illusions to hide behind.

"What caused this to happen?"

"I don't know for certain, but I believe it was your fever."

"You were reacting to my body temperature," she surmised. "You were able to touch me without hurting me."

"True, but I hadn't completely transformed then."

"Not the point I was trying to make. Whether you meant to or not, you lowered my temperature enough to help me. Your intention wasn't to hurt me."

"I didn't even notice until I pulled away. I just thought you were overheated and that was why I felt cooler to you. The coolness made you feel better."

"Yes. Have you tried touching anything? Just to see?"

"I already know the end result. Why would I?"

"Because you're mortal now. Or were – or whatever."

"So maybe my power isn't as strong." Loki shrugged. "Good theory."

Arianna stood up, leaving the blanket behind, and held her hand out. Loki stepped backwards.

"You have more incentive to control yourself with me as opposed to something or someone else."

She smiled softly and moved towards him.

"If you were a monster, you wouldn't care whether you hurt me or not. Your personality hasn't changed at all, it doesn't seem.

She turned her palm up and waited for him to place his hand in hers. He was definitely hesitant, and she completely understood why, but he eventually let himself touch her.

His fingertips brushed against her palm and she jerked away slightly as it tickled her skin. She slipped her fingers between his and held on despite the cold. He tightened his grip when he realized he wasn't hurting her.

"Okay?" she asked.

A half-laugh half-sob pulled from his throat.

"Okay."

In Asgard, on a completely different realm, Thor and Frigga were standing with Heimdall while he was checking on Loki. Frigga had requested frequent updates on her son after having stranded him on Midgard. If he had come to any real danger, she would've sent Thor to help him. She had never truly abandoned Loki.

She'd been completely aware of the risk of leaving him on Midgard, but she'd taken a chance when she'd met Arianna. The chance had been worth it and well-calculated. Arianna had seen and brought a goodness out in Loki, the kindness and playfulness that had always been there, that he'd hidden away after finding out about his true birthplace.

True, he'd fought against it at first, but she'd broken down his defenses. He'd asked for help when first courting her – from an old enemy nonetheless – and had put Arianna's comfort and well-being over his own many times. He'd protected her, killed for her.

He loved her, and he had never loved anyone outside of his family. Arianna had his heart and was slowly helping to heal it. She'd even handled finding out about his Front Giant form well. She may not have been able to make him believe he wasn't a monster, but she had made him believe she didn't think he was one.

It was a good start.

"Will his magic come back soon?" Thor asked.

"Perhaps." Frigga smiled. "More than likely."

"And he'll come home?"

"If he chooses to. He may choose to stay with Arianna. He's never known love like that."

"She could always come here. She's not a normal human by any means. Father could grant her a longer life span, to match our own."

"He could," Frigga agreed. "We shall see."

There was still a hurdle or two Loki had to get over before he had to make any decisions about the rest of his life.