I went back to school the next day like nothing had ever happened. My mother noticed I was a bit quieter, but I told her I was just tired. Its not like my peers would have noticed anyway. To them, I was just a Quirkless nobody. I didn't realize it at the time, but today marked the first day of what would grow into resentment for their painfully common way of thinking. In that moment, however, all I could do was lament over my crushed dreams, all the while playing the part of the straight A student I always was. No one batted an eye. No one, of course, accept for him.
"Deku" I heard the familiar growl as I was on my way to the cafeteria. I didn't even bother turning around, or even stopping. "Hey! I'm talking to you, ya damn nerd!" I finally stopped, but didn't even bother to look at the blonde bully.
"What do you want, Kacchan?" my voice was low, calm even. Its not like I suddenly wasn't afraid, far from it. However, it didn't really matter to me anymore if he beat me up.
"I never got the chance to pound you for playing hero yesterday" Bakugo replied, putting his right hand on my left shoulder. He pulled me around to face him, winding up at the same time. Just like usual, he started with a left hook. Usually I just stayed still out of fear and panic, but my new apathy lead me to a much calmer way of thinking. I surprised even myself, with a simple step and turn, his punch missed and he ended up stumbling. Katsuki was so in shock that he just stood for a moment, so I turned to continue walking. "Don't walk away from me you bastard!" he all but screamed. This time he grabbed me by the collar, turning me and slamming me into the wall, my shirt clutched in his fists. He was glaring daggers at me, but I just looked on with indifference. I knew if I didn't keep my face cold and stone like I would probably burst into tears. "What's with that look, nerd?" he growled at me, his eye twitching slightly.
"I'm just waiting for you to get this over with" I replied, my voice was cold, despite feeling like it might crack at any moment. I felt him tense up. He was getting confused, which made him angrier than before. He opened his mouth, but closed it and clenched his jaw. We ended up staying that way for a moment, like he was trying to read through the indifference in my eyes. Finally he let me go and walked off, grumbling and scowling.
I sighed, not even wanting lunch anymore. I opted to head up to the roof for some alone time. I took a deep breath as soon as I stepped into the outdoor air. It seemed so strange, like everything was falling apart, but here the world was, still turning. I sat down with my back to the fence that lined the top of the building. Reaching into my bag, I pulled out the book that Bakugo had thrown out the window the other day. A small smile spread across my features as I slowly opened it, reading over the notes written in my neat but chaotic penmanship. It was always so strange, rereading something you had already written, it was almost nostalgic. I felt tears well up in my eyes as I read, followed by that twisting ache you get in your chest when you're exceptionally sad. I closed the book and clutched it to my chest, crying a bit harder as I did.
Why?
The single word played in my head, starting to go through it over and over again. Soon, the question evolved into more and more questions. Why did things have to be this way? Why was I born like this? Why was I treated this way? Why were my classmates like this? Why Kacchan-
I shook my head, trying to stop the rapid thoughts. I wondered for a moment if I had been muttering again as I stuffed the notebook back into my yellow backpack. I wiped my face with my sleeve and slung my bag over my shoulder, heading back to class silently.
For the rest of the day I didn't even pay attention in class. Things just got worse and worse in my head, and all I wanted to do was go home and lock myself in my room. That was exactly what I ended up doing that night, still feigning tiredness to my mom as I got in and headed to my room. However, it wasn't the relief I had hoped for. From every corner of the room, All Might stared at me. Staring back into the void of merchandise, I heard his words in my head again.
"Being a Hero without a Quirk, no, I don't think its possible"
I gritted my teeth to try to keep myself from crying, which of course, didn't help. Then, with a surprising amount of control, I started to take it all down. I grabbed a box from the closet and started putting it all away. Every piece, even the sheets, everything was to be tucked away, and by the time the sun was down, my room was left barren. I hadn't realized how obsessive I had been until this moment. It made me start to realize how immature it was, especially for someone as intelligent as I was. However, that didn't hit nearly as hard as the next one, the realization of my naivety. With that in mind, my word, already cracked and breaking, shattered and fell to pieces. I was scared, it felt like I couldn't tell what was real anymore.
"But I smile to trick the fear inside of me"
Even that smile, once like a beacon of hope, felt like a lie at this point. I felt my face contort as the intrusive thoughts piled up. If my head was disorganized and curious before, then you could call what I was experiencing now as chaos. However, I took a deep breath and tried to steady my mind. At this rate it felt like I was going to think myself to death. I decided that I needed to distract myself, so I grabbed my phone but froze immediately. Usually I'd read the news, or do research, but that would only make things worse because it would all be about Heroes. I let my hand slink back down to my side and gave it another thought. I realized that, aside from studying, every single thing I did had something to do with them.
I felt an emotion I couldn't quite place begin to burn inside of me. I threw my uniform off and slipped into some athletic wear. I stepped out of my room and immediately caught my mother's gaze.
"Izuku, dear, where are you going?" she asked, looking me over with concerned hidden in her curiosity.
"I'm just going out for a jog, mom" I replied, managing to give her a genuine smile. Well, there's still one good thing in my life at least I thought to myself, and wordlessly headed for the door.
"Just be careful, hon" she said, with a warm, motherly worry in her voice. I smiled again as I closed the door, looking around the street before I headed off.
I rarely exercised before, but in light of recent events, I figured I might as well try to improve myself. It would be a good distraction, and a new hobby that didn't involve Heroes. I jogged up the street toward the park, stopping briefly to enjoy the scenery. I went further, jogging toward the inner city, my mind finally starting to clear, my emotions starting to settle.
That's when the first incident happened.
Dusk was settling in and this part of town was devoid of any life. On my way through I heard a scream, someone frightened. On instinct I immediately looked for the source with a quick turn of my body, spotting what appeared to be a woman being mugged in the alley across the street. I only thought about it for a second, many different courses of action burning through my mind in that one moment. With determination, I decided that maybe this was my chance, that maybe that despite everyone and everything, I too could be a Hero.
I took off across the road and bolted into the alley. The assailant was so focused, he didn't notice me until it was too late. Hearing my footsteps, he turned to look at me and made my first move even more effective. I leaned down and rammed into his right side with my shoulder, immediately going to back off when he staggered, but didn't fall.
"Run!" I shouted to the woman, who turned to do just that. Unfortunately she didn't get very far. The man's arms shot out, stretching like elastic, one grabbing her and throwing her against the wall, while the other found its way around my throat. I clenched my jaw and glared at him. He was tall, and pretty muscular from what I could tell. He had a goatee and his hair was short and messy.
"You little brat" he grumbled, his arm retracting and dragging me closer to him. "Want to play Hero, huh?" I clenched my fist and slammed my arm down against his, to no avail. I tried again, to similar results, glaring the whole time. "I really don't like that look in your eyes" he murmured. He dragged me one way, then used his Quirk to built up momentum like a whip and threw me against a dumpster. I cried out in pain, a jolt running through my body on impact. I felt it all the way to my finger tips and toes, landing in a crumpled heap. I took a moment to correct my breathing, trying to get back up. My eyes locked on the Villain, who was currently collecting things out of the woman's purse. I got up and lunged again, hands wrapping around his midriff and attempted to throw him to the ground, my leg in mid swing to kick his out from under him. He brought his elbow back and slammed it into my temple, causing spots of light to dance in my vision. I staggered back and he turned, punching me in the face. I swayed, but stayed up, still glaring daggers. He swung again, but I stepped back to avoid it, then other which I braced and managed to block with my left arm. I clenched my jaw and countered, throwing a punch that managed to connect, hitting him in the throat. He coughed and swayed, so I went for a follow up, but he kicked my legs out from under me. I tried to role as soon as I hit the ground, but he kicked me in the ribs and knocked the wind out of me. I cried out in agony, and he kicked several more times before he was satisfied. "Dumb fucking kid" he growled, turning back to the half conscious, terrified woman. I weakly wrapped my arms around his leg, which he shook off and turned back to me again. "I can't tell if you've got too much guts or not enough brains, kid" he said as I glared up at him. His eye twitched and he pulled out a pocket knife. "You know, I really hate those eyes of yours" he said, cracking a grin. "I think I'll get rid of em." he dropped to one knee and slowly brought the knife closer and close to my face. I grabbed his wrist quickly and desperately tried to stop him, weakly struggling as he applied more pressure. The blade became unsteady, and jerked so the tip dug into the left side of my forehead less than an inch above my eyebrow. I screamed from the white hot pain as the edge dragged and carved a line down, stopping right before my eye. I could feel blood running down my face along with my tears.
"Hey!" I heard someone shout. In a moment the attacker was gone. Squeezing my eye shut I sat up in a daze, my good eye falling on the woman, a beautiful, dark haired young adult in a grey dress.
"A-are you alright?" I asked weakly.
"I'd have been better if you hadn't shown up! I think he broke my arm because of you!" she snapped. "and why didn't you use your Quirk if you were trying to save the day!?" I saw flashing lights, the police had arrived.
"I...don't have one..." I replied, feeling my heart grow heavy.
"So you're even more worthless than I thought!" she replied. That was the last thing I heard from her as an officer came to talk to her.
"Are you alright? Can you walk?" another officer asked me, a hand on my shoulder. "Kid, are you okay?" he repeated himself when I remained quiet, not even looking at him.
Not at all I just closed my eyes and let my tired body crumble. As I fell to my side I heard shouting, but didn't bother to listen. I heard All Might's voice again.
"I'm the world's Symbol of Peace, a Hero who saves everyone with a smile on his face"You save everyone I thought, my mind slipping into darkness. Everyone but me.