"Aye Commander Spock, we've got trouble in the transporter room." Scotty's voice came over the speaker.
"What has occurred?"
"All my equipment is in perfect order, I assure you, but it seems the landing party has disappeared outright."
Spock raised an eyebrow, "In a way that is atypical?"
"Aye, I wouldn't be botherin ya if they just beamed down to the surface."
The Enterprise orbited Talos IV, a planet outside of the federation, who'd requested medical help for a vessel that crashed on their surface. Their ship answered the signal, and attempted to beam down the Captain and two medical officers. Given the new information, the bridge shot into action.
"Kirk, come in Captain..." Spock pushed buttons on the arm of the Captain's chair in an attempt to contact the landing party. "Dr. McCoy, are you there?...Dr. Vida?"
"I'm trying to open more channels," Uhura explained, furiously flipping switches.
Chekov hunched over the scanner, "No life forms on the surface, sir. They just...disappeared?"
Dr. Vida, Dr. McCoy, and Captain Kirk blinked and found themselves under a hot desert sun.
"The hell?" Leonard looked down at himself in his new three piece suit.
"Talos IV isn't a hot desert. Where'd these clothes come from?" Kirk was dressed like a cowboy, red ascot and all.
"I am confused." Vivian wore a blue dress with a thin white stripe pattern, puffy long sleeves, and a white apron. Her hair was braided into a bun which just happened to be arranged as to cover the tips of her pointed ears. She slapped at her pockets and found no devices. "Do either of you have a communicator?"
"No," McCoy grunted, fumbling with his pockets only to find a pocket-watch and some glasses. In one hand, he had an antique medical bag. "We've gone back in time before on the ship. But outside of the ship?"
Kirk only had a tin of tobacco, some coins, and a revolver. Squinting in the brightness, he spotted cacti, dust, and a town on the horizon. "If there's a town, there should be people. Maybe they can tell us where we are."
In the town, they found more people in Western wear, horses pulling carriages, and a train depot. It wreaked of campfire, horses, and leather. People's feet kicked up a continuous cloud of unbreathable dust and the shadow from the buildings didn't even reach across the dirt street. A man standing on a wooden crate yelled about selling tickets back East from San Antonio.
Vivian cocked her head at attention, "San Antonio? Captain, I think we are in Texas...I would estimate in the late nineteenth century."
"I feel like I wandered onto a film set for one of those twentieth century cowboy films." Kirk marveled at the scene around him, leading his friends down the street. "We should find a saloon. The bartender always knows something." The inside of the saloon was stuffy and smelled like the sweat of unwashed men. A piano player butchered an upbeat tune. "Excuse me, what town is this?"
"San Antonio, mister. Say, you must not be from around here," The burly, mustachioed barkeep instantly became suspicious of Kirk.
"Don't mind my brother, he's just been in the sun too long." McCoy cut in. "We're headed further west to California. They need more doctors out there, so I'm headed that way." He extended a hand, "My name's Leonard McCoy. This is my brother, Jim and uh...my wife, Vivian."
The bartender seemed satisfied, "Nice to meet ya Jim," He tipped his hat, "Mrs. McCoy."
"Let's uh...let's get some water to start...Say, s'there an inn around here? We'll need a place while we're in town."
"Yessireee. Just down the way there, INN is painted in big letter's up top. You can't miss it." He ladled water out of a barrel for them before moving to help other patrons.
"Hey," Vivian whispered between her two friends, "The top of the saloon said saloon...The top of the inn says inn. Isn't it strange that there's no name? It's not called anything specific?"
Sure enough, they found their generic Inn, which happened to have just two rooms available. Vivian noted this too as odd and went about getting some parchment and lead to write it down.
"Alright, possibilities," Kirk started as he shut the door behind himself entering the "McCoys'" room, "One is that we actually went back in time...but I don't think that's right. The locomotive engine sitting on that platform shouldn't exist for another twenty plus years." Vivian scribbled at her paper as he spoke. "So if it's not a different time, maybe it's a different place."
"Like an actual movie set?" McCoy shook his head, "On Talos IV? Or is Talos IV a planet with a historical trajectory like Earth, but not as far along? Hell, if we're even on that planet anymore. Could we be in another dimension of some kind?"
"There IS a third option," Vivian spoke up, "Perhaps this is not reality at all. This could all be in our heads, or one person's head. We could have been drugged or been hit in the head and are merely hallucinating or dreaming...Whatever it is, its clearly being orchestrated by someone or something, so I would say it is intentional to some degree."
"Somebody's toying with us?"
"Perhaps," Vivian showed them her growing list, "Let's keep track of temporal inaccuracy, generic things, things that seem out of place, coincidences, and so on. See, the train, you're right, is inaccurate. There's an Inn with no proper name, and it just happened to have enough rooms for a couple traveling with one other man. My hypothesis is that an intelligent life form has somehow constructed this environment to be a Western town with limited information about the historic American West."
"So we're being trapped here? For what purpose?" Kirk furrowed his brow.
"That, I am not sure of Captain...My theory may be provable. If these items I mentioned today have been corrected somehow by tomorrow, made more accurate, then we'll know it is an illusion of some kind...I think you're both correct in referencing Western films...if that is the creature's reference point, perhaps we can anticipate what happens next."
"Alright...I enjoy Westerns in my free time, so here's the deal...there's gonna be a bank robbery...or a barn is gonna burn down."
"I have to save a damsel in distress, maybe a saloon girl. I'm a cowboy right? Maybe I'll run into some terribly portrayed, stereotypical Native Americans. Maybe I'll have to duel a desperado."
"Dr. McCoy, I would anticipate we see a wild animal attack, a fever of some kind...oh-and of course- we'll have to deliver a baby. There's always a baby born on a wagon train show."
Kirk looked surprised, "Dr. Vida, you like Westerns?"
"Captain, need I remind you I'm from Texas?"
Back on the Enterprise, calls were made down to the surface.
"This is Commander Spock of Starship Enterprise, Talos IV please come in."
After several calls, a video responder finally appeared. "Hello Starship Enterprise, I am Kalar. When will you send the requested support?" The creature on screen had an enormous, pulsating head. It wore grey robes and appeared to be nonbinary.
Spock furrowed his brow, "Support was sent, Kalar. Please share the location of the Captain and the two medical officers who beamed down to you."
"Is this an attempt at deception? No crew members have arrived on our surface."
Uhura watched the exchange, her eyes darting back and forth between the leaders as if she were watching a tennis match.
"I suggest you form a search party to locate them. You may be contact for further questioning." He ended the transmission and stared at the blank screen, generating theories for what could have occurred.
"Commander Spock," Uhura crossed her arms.
"Yes, Lieutenant?"
She wandered over to the Captain's chair, "I'm not familiar with the Talos system, nor the Talosians, but many humanoids share the same nonverbal cues."
"Your point, Lieutenant?"
"He's lying." She asserted, "I think they're on the surface, sir."
He raised an eyebrow, "Thank you for your insight." The chair span as the man hopped out of it and towards his computer.
"What are you doing?"
"Checking Starfleet memory banks for any mention of the Talos system."
In the Western town, suspicion was also high. The townspeople willing to talk to the outsiders seemed two-dimensional. The crew found a doctor's office, whose doctor was conveniently away visiting family. They found a sheriff's office in need of a new deputy. When they came back in at dark, even the Inn was short staffed...a cook.
The trio ate smoked brisket and beans, and drank water out of tin cups. Vivian insisted they sleep. Wherever they were seemed safe enough for the time being, and they could investigate again in the morning. Kirk went to his room and the "couple" to theirs.
"I told you something was off." Vivian remarked as they entered the room. There were now two suitcases and the wash basin had water in it.
"Something's off? That's the best you got? No shit, something's off. We're not cowboys, Viv." He grumbled as he shut the door behind them.
Slowly, she unpacked the suitcase. "I told you what I wanted...a hairbrush...a night shirt...a gun...Here they are..." A feeling of unease grew in her gut.
"Yeah about that, you can sleep. I oughta keep watch or something." He took the gun from the dresser and sat on the bed with it, "You ever shoot before?"
"Again, I'm from Texas. Yes, I have shot an antique firearm before but only for recreational purposes."
"But if you needed to? For self defense?" He removed his jacket, vest, and shoes.
"Yes Leo..." She watched him and cocked her head to one side, "You're worried about my safety."
"What's it to ya?"
"Nothing..." She untied her apron and began to fidget with the buttons on her dress, "A little help here?"
"Certainly," He stood and strode over to her, standing behind her in the mirror. A coy grin spread across his face, "Mrs. McCoy."
"You're proud of yourself, aren't you?"
"Damn straight." He popped the last of the buttons and kissed the top of her head. "Now, ehem, let's see what kinda undergarments come with this dress." His hands went to the small of her waist, then moved up to her shoulders to brush the fabric off and to her feet. His eyes bugged, "Good God girl." Apparently, the dress came with pantaloons, and a corset.
Vivian raised an eyebrow and admired herself.
"You look like a busted can of biscuits." He remarked, presumably referring to her pale cleavage nearly spilling out the top.
"Is that a complement?"
"Oh absolutely." The man span the woman around and buried his face in her bosom.
"Leo!" She squealed in surprise as he toppled onto the bed with her on top of him. "You were just talking about being afraid-"
"I'm not afraid-"
"And if someone's watching?"
His fingers moved at the strings of her corset. "Lucky them."
They maneuvered their way up the bed. Between kisses, he managed to finally free her from the corset. Her breasts fell free, marked with the lines of their former confinement. She pulled his shirt over his head before leaning back in, connecting their chests. He expected a heartbeat, but it wasn't there. Instead, it pulsed in his hand at the small of her back.
"Shhh," She whispered in his ear, "Kirk is one wall away."
"You don't know the number of times I've heard him bring back some floozy...NOT to imply that you're-"
"Shut up," She gripped his face and blocked his talking with her own mouth, reaching between them to unhook his belt.
He kicked his way out of his pants. She shimmied the pantaloons away. Her knees fell on either side of his hips. Before he could reach between the two of them, she did a maneuver of her hips to take him in. He groaned, she clamped a hand over his mouth. They grinded that way for a few minutes before she sat upright, balancing herself with her hands on his chest. One hand moved to yank the pins out of her hair. Her hair fell down over her shoulders and into her face. She flipped it out of her face as she moved.
Leo gripped her hips and moved her. He watched her in the flicker of the oil lamp, making her skin glow with more golden tones than usual. Even without makeup, her eyes were winged and her brows were sharp. Of course he knew she was a Vulcan, but he usually noticed more of the human side. Tonight, she looked alien, and he wasn't bothered one bit. Though her movements were sensual and feminine, there was a pragmatism- an application of anatomy. Her confidence was unwavering- that was inhuman. She was beautiful, but in an otherworldly kind of way that was familiar and foreign to him all at the same time.
He reached up to cup handfuls of her chest. The wrought iron bedframe creaked and tapped the wall until her head fell back, her mouth hanging open. Her hands gripped at his chest hair. With a moment of sense, he pushed her back off of him before he joined her relief.
After catching his breath, he looked at the mess on his abdomen and groaned, "Dammit."
Vivian covered her mouth with her hand and laughed quietly.
"Hey, listen, you're welcome. That was me being smart." He couldn't help but to laugh too.
She hopped up, pushed her hair back, and went to the water basin to grab a towel. She was unsure of what had taken over her, and was grateful for his fast action. They were physicians and should know better than to engage in unsafe sexual practices. She didn't-prior to this anyway. Her brain jolted with adrenaline suddenly- but she had, just a few days ago...with someone else. Spock. Guilt. Shaking her head, she pushed the thoughts away to get back into the moment.
He watched the way her ass alternating meeting each leg with each step. When she returned with a damp cloth, she started by wiping the sweat from his brow. Her hair fell softly over his face, so he brushed it back behind her pointed ear. When she walked back to the basin, he watched the way her hips swayed back and forth.
Leonard propped himself up on his elbows to see her. She took the other cloth and wiped down her own body in the mirror. He felt something-something other than arousal.
"Vivian...I,"
They made eye contact in the mirror.
"Yes?"
He cleared his throat and swallowed, back-peddling, "I reckon we oughta get some sleep...It'll probably be an early morning tomorrow."
She had been correct...someone had been watching. The giant-brained Talosians were pleased with their new specimen. Never before had they had a group so willing to take to reproductive behaviors, and it fascinated them.
Somewhere else, someone else would experience a sex dream and wake up with the laundry-related consequences and confusion.
Next door, a friend, thought to be asleep, heard the bedframe on the wall.