Later, as the sun began to rise, their ardor had dampened enough for them to do nothing but hold themselves in each other's arms.
Sasha was tracing patterns with her fingers over his heart.
"Do you love me?," Nico asked suddenly.
Sasha looked up from his chest, pointing her wide brown eyes at him once more, and looked back at his chest.
"Yes" she said simply, as she buried her face into him.
They continued to embrace each other quietly, and suddenly Nico was confused.
"Aren't you going to ask if I love you back?" he suggested, slightly irritated.
Sasha let out her wide honking laugh at that, as she rolled away from him and stretched.
"Make me some food" she complained, as she took the pillow from underneath his head in an effort to force him from the Bed "It's too early for all of this"
"Hold on for a second, you don't get to-"
He tried to push back against her, but she was too strong, "Omelet Rice and bacon" she said, as she finally forced him out "I'd like some fish too, if you have any."
Before he left the room she gave his ass a smack, before turning back over to fall asleep, leaving him to grumble nakedily as he moved to the kitchen.
He remembered that when she left for Marley, he had been ashen-faced and morose. Unable to focus on his duties, he was reprimanded twice by the officers he was serving under for preparing undercooked food.
The creeping pit in his stomach worsened when he saw her board the airship, and he remembered being called away from duty by Jean earlier that morning.
Jean was usually foul-tempered and ill-mannered, but he seemed to try to be as gracious as possible when they spoke .
"Listen, I know-" he began, noticing Nico's face, instead said "Sasha is like a sister to me. I promise…" he then put his arms on Nico's shoulders "I promise she'll come back"
Nico had thrown his arms off of his shoulders, and laughed in his face. He told him that he hoped they all died in Marley.
Why would he care for the demise of a pack of worthless, putrid devils?
He made to move away, but Connie walked in front of him. Of all the Eldians, Nico held him in the lowest regard. He was slow-witted and excitable, and stood barely taller than a boy.
However, Nico weighed, for what little it was worth, more polite than Jean.
However, the strangely resolute look on his face brought him to a standstill.
"Nico" , he said seriously "Sasha is one of dearest, most treasured friends. We won't let anything happen to her"
Nico grasped for another joke, another deflection, but found none.
He tilted his head in the most perfunctory way possible, barely imperceptible to the naked eye, and walked away at a brisk pace before they could see him cry.
"A treacherous, murderous, lying lot."
He remembered scarcely being able to breathe when she was gone. All food lost its taste, all nature its luster, all light its beauty, as he sat in his apartment alone.
He remembered her laugh.
Her smile.
Her moans.
Her kisses.
Fear, he decided, was too painful.
He decided to trust her instead.
She said she would come back, he thought to himself She promised, and so did Jean. Connie did as well. She's strong, wild, and fierce. Who could ever raise their hand to her?
He returned to the river they had visited before, and even managed to catch a few fish for himself. Not such a fop after all, am I?" he thought to himself, imagining her pride.
He found other ways in which to occupy himself in other ways as well. He bought new cookbooks for her return, and fixed a few holes in her cloak she had left behind. He held it tight to her chest while he slept, drinking in the fumes she left behind.
He would walk through the woods she had shown him, and try to remember the different plants and berries she had introduced to him. Which were safe, which were dangerous, and which were somewhere in between.
She would return.
They would be together.
He would be ready when she came back.
One night, as he sat over a small glass of ale and a little bowl of rice, he heard three knocks on the door.
One knock meant they could meet for less than an hour, two knocks meant enough time to share a meal, while three knocks…
Three knocks meant she was off duty, and that she was all his.
A huge smile erupted across his face, and it took all he had to not let out a whoop. He glanced in his hallway mirror quickly, hoping that he didn't look too disheveled.
She hadn't written again, he thought at the back of his mind, but he was too excited to let it bother him unduly. He peered at his watch, and noticed that the night was still relatively young. He was sure they could find somewhere to eat, if they moved quickly.
If I can tear her off me, he thought with a grin, remembering how they had ravished each other the night before she left, her imminent departure exciting their passions, driving their emotions to its most intense.
He had teared up when he reached his peak, and remembered how she had bit him hard on his shoulder as he'd done so, before kissing the tears from his face.
She was finally home.
He flung wide the door…
And saw Jean and Connie standing there by themselves, looking uncomfortable and tense.
Connie's eyes were bloodshot, and when he began to speak his voice contracted into a sob.
He barely heard their words, just a roaring noise in his ears. His heart beat so loudly he thought it would burst, and he forgot how to breathe.
Sasha, Sasha, Sasha.
"A lying, treacherous, murderous lot"
"She heard her get on the plane," Jean explained in a low voice, as he crouched down to level with Nico. "She fired off a lucky shot, and it… it hit her in the abdomen"
Somewhere during the time they spoke Nico had fallen to his knees. Connie could do nothing but stare at some vacant place far behind him, as tears slowly trickled down his face.
"We're so sorry. We know that you two loved-"
"We what?" he chuckled, as he picked himself off the ground and grabbed Jean by his jacket lapels and threw him against the building next door.
"I didn't care about her at all" he snarled, as he shook Jean, who bore a shocked look on his face. Connie stepped to him with a look of concern, but something in his face made him take an aghast step backwards.
"A lying, treacherous, murderous lot"
"She was a fucking whore of an Eldian, and I'm glad she's dead. " he said snidely, as the blood rushed through his ears.
"I fucked her up the arse from time to time because I liked to make her squeal like the pig she was," he continued haughtily, as he looked at Jean's face, its countenance moving slowly but surely from shock to rage " I could scarcely stand it. You wouldn't believe how quickly that farmer's bitch wanted to jump into bed with me. And who could blame her? I imagine I wasn't a poor replacement for her chickenshit father, was I? She was a dirty, disgusting-"
Jean shook him off, and punched him hard in the mouth. He quickly felt blood fill his mouth, in addition to a loosened molar.
He fell into a pathetic heap on the ground, but had enough strength to spit the blood onto Jean's face.
"All of you devils", he croaked "Are all the fucking same. Slaves, murderers, and thieves. She was no different."
A small crowd had gathered round, drawn over by his shouts and the sound of Jean's punch, but he didn't care.
Sasha was gone forever.
"She was a muddy, foul cunt" he heard a voice say, a voice dripping with venom that he didn't recognize, a voice which would follow him into his grave. "Born in a bog, a bitch more animal than human." He heard a horrible, deranged laugh.
"I wish… I wish I'd done it myself"
He felt a sharp kick to his ribs, accompanied by an ominous crack, which winded him and left him unable to speak.
He braced himself to be hit again, but Connie held Jean back.
"I'm going to kill this bastard," Jean roared, as he tried to stomp on Nico's face.
"Jean, enough" Connie yelled plaintively, but he was unable to hold Jean back for long.
Jean eventually shook Connie off, and grabbed Nico by his collar, and punched him again.
And struck him again, and again, and again, and again.
Connie eventually wrenched him off, and by this time Jean's anger had abated slightly.
He walked away from the door in a fury, and marched down the street, pushing aside the few bystanders who had been attracted by the commotion.
"You need a doctor" Connie said to him "I'll find someone to help you, but first-"
"No" Nico spluttered, as he sought to regain his senses "Spare me your help, your words are worth less than pigshit"
Both of you promised to bring her back to me, and you didn't.
Sasha.
He was able to stagger into the house, and slammed the door despite Connie's protestations from outside.
He braced himself on the dinner table, and struggled to remain conscious. He realized, in his commotion, that he had knocked over the bowl of rice he had been eating earlier.
The war with Marley had made delicacies harder to come by, but he had fudged a few numbers of the inventory to which he was granted access to ensure that Sasha could eat whatever she desired to her heart's content.
Since she was gone, however, he had been unable to cook anything but the simplest of foods. His appetite had been bad since she was gone, and he thought it horrible to waste food that couldn't truly be enjoyed.
He remembered walking into the room that day, just a few weeks ago. He had made all the food she had asked for, and even found some coffee the two of them could share.
He opened the door, and noticed that she had fallen asleep. She had a horrible, cantankerous snore, and was splayed all across the bed. Her mouth was wide open, and she scratched herself intermittently, as she slept somewhat restlessly.
He smiled at the sight of her, and turned to close the door softly.
In doing so, he forgot about the hood she had thrown off the night before, and slipped on it slightly.
He hit his elbow hard on the wall next to him, and just barely was able to maintain hold of the food.
"Damnit!" he muttered, as he winced in pain
Sasha looked up from the bed "You're being too loud" she complained, as she rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "Did you finish my food yet", she asked, as she scratched under her arms "I'm ready to-" she noticed a few grains of rice onto the ground, and jumped out of the bed like a rocket.
She moved like a blur across the room, and snatched the food from his hands, before turning back to face him. "Sasha", he began, in a shocked tone "what's-"
"You dropped it" she shrieked, as she pointed at the rice on the ground. She bent down to pick it up and stuffed it in her mouth, an intense and manic look on her face.
He was too shocked to be disgusted by her eating the rice from the floor to say anything. He had always known Sasha to be kind and gentle, a woman utterly without anger.
"Don't you EVER" she boomed as she marched up to him, pointing a finger square in his face. Her brown eyes had flattened black discs in her rage "Ever, Ever fucking waste food again! I'll fucking K-kill y-."
Her hands began to twitch, and her voice faltered into a sob. Her brown eyes returned to her, full of hurt and regret.
She fell into his arms and cried, but before he could react, she pushed him away and fell to a trembling heap on the floor.
"Sasha," he began, as he walked over to her slowly, " What.. why..?"
Sasha held her face in her hands and continued to cry, so he decided to sit down with her.
He draped his arms around her body, and she placed her head on his shoulder, as the tears fell away. She sniffed quietly as he consoled her wordlessly, and eventually she began to speak.
When she had been a very little girl, she told him, before she had even learned to hunt, there had been a terrible winter near the area of her girlhood home.
Their potatoes, spinach, and lettuce, had frozen solid, she recounted, in a faraway voice.
The rivers had turned into ice several inches thick, she counted, as she gripped him so tightly that her knuckles whitened, while the snow poured down so furioriously that her father was unable to hunt.
They had spent weeks in the cabin near her family farm, she'd told him her brown eyes thick with fear, in the dark and cold recesses of the cabin, where hunger prowled the corridors and death kept his watchful eye outside the premises.
Her father hadn't been prepared for such a horrific winter, and their meager rations were soon depleted.
As they wasted away, growing gaunt and sluggish with hunger, they had to turn to other sources of food.
They had eaten her dog first, despite their initial protestations, as hunger trumped their affections.
Next, were the mice who shared their home, who had found purchase under the floorboards.
They had eventually resorted to boot leather, and need not have taken any darker options out of hunger and creeping madness before the storm finally passed.
" I still remember it" she confided, as her accent thickened "the hunger, the fear" she pulled him closer to her breast.
"I'm sorry I yelled," she finished "it's just.. Sometimes I can't stop myself from thinking.."
"People who waste food deserve to die"
He remembered her words as he looked at the rice on the ground, while the cup of ale crept slowly across the ground, quickly darkening the rug underneath the dinner table.
He was able to let out a brittle laugh before he fainted.
He woke up hours later in a hospital bed, bandages wrapped tightly around his jaw, and his left eye had been swollen shut. His lips were large and puffy, and it felt painful for them to touch one another.
Connie had broken down his door and discovered his battered and bruised body, slowly going into shock on the dining room floor. He had quickly administered first aid, and staunched the bleeding until medics had been able to arrive.
Everything hurt so much, and when the doctor began speaking to him, noting his return to consciousness, it sounded like an echo from far away.
His eyes rolled back in his head, and he fell back asleep.
He found himself seated on his couch, reading a Marleyan novel, while Sasha toyed with his creaky shower head.
He tried to concentrate on the novel, but the sound of Sasha cursing and bickering with the showerhead was too distracting.
He tried to turn the page, but winced as the shower made a particularly ugly noise, which was accompanied by Sasha launching into another string of unintelligible curses.
When she became particularly annoyed her accent would thicken so much that he couldn't pick out one word in six, and today was no different.
She eventually left the bathroom in a huff, her hair and shirt drenched, her brows furrowed in frustration. Noting his smirk, she let out a petulant huff "It's.. a bit trickier than I thought." She admitted, "But I'll be able to figure it out soon. Anything can be figured out, right? "
The dream swirled, and suddenly he was seated across from Sasha during a bright morning.
"We should get married", she said to him one day, as they ate breakfast. Nico snorted hot coffee through his nose at her comment, which was a new and especially unpleasant feeling.
"We've been together for a little over a year now, we practically live together, and we love each other." She said, unperturbed by his reaction "We're almost married already. Why not make it official?"
"You really are a yokel" he laughed, once he had wiped the coffee off of his face. Another shirt ruined he thought, as he looked down in dismay.
"What does that mean?" she demanded.
"Sasha, it's customary for the man to propose, after having consulted the Father and received his blessing. Then, you present her with a ring."
Sasha blinked rapidly in surprise "You're too poor to buy me a ring. Also, my mother and aunt both proposed to their husbands. And why would you ask my father? It's me you're marrying, not him."
Before he could answer, she ran around the table and pulled him into a headlock, "Besides, my Ma' always told me that when you like something, you take it when you get the chance. Why should Men be any different?"
He tried to shake her off, but she just tightened her grip and kept him in place. She was much, much stronger than he was.
She eventually let him go, while he rubbed at his now raw neck. She took the opportunity to sit into his lap, already grinning in anticipation of the answer she knew she would soon receive.
When she looked at him with those big brown doe eyes, the eyes that belonged to the woman who captured his heart, how could he refuse?
And yet…
He thought of the vague terror that was the third among them in their cosy little abode. The strange nightmarish visions he felt at night, a dark companion who followed him to his post each and every day. When he and Sasha would embrace, he would cackle loudly, as he knew their time was fleeting. He supped on their happiness, and delighted in Nico's pain.
Sasha was a soldier. She was strong and fierce, but a soldier nonetheless.
If anything were to…
If she were to..
If somebody…
If, if, if.
He remembered his response, hollow and false sounding, a plea for extra time and to have a chance to know her better. Her eyes looked absurdly crestfallen for a moment, but they were soon back to her usual happy state.
She slapped him lightly on the cheek and told him he was joking, that he would be lucky if she deigned to stay by his side one more day, before heading out for the day to fish.
They had spoken no more of it when she returned, and had continued as they had before.
Until...
She came home unusually quiet one day, not giving him her usual enthusiastic and amorous arrival. It was usually her custom to tackle him onto the couch or the floor, or have him carry her into bed.
Other times she would launch into one of her outrageous stories of hunting with her father, fantastic tales which were an uproarious mix of truth, lie, and bluster. He would eventually force her to stop, as his laughter tightened his cheeks and stomach so much that they would begin to ache.
Sometimes she would be so exhausted from training and endless meetings that she would just place her head into his lap and fall asleep, and he would stroke her hair and daydream contentedly.
Instead, she gave him a quick hug and smile, but nothing more. She went into his room, their room, and did not leave for hours.
.
He pretended he didn't notice, and prepared one of the largest dinners he had ever made.
Her favorite soup, mixed with an assortment of diced fruits and vegetables.
A perfectly fileted fish, its skin crisped to perfection, moisture bursting in its every inch.
Pasta, timed to a perfect boil, saturated with a painstakingly difficult sauce that contained several different herbs he'd stored just for her.
He hadn't finished everything he planned to make before she emerged from the room.
He heard her stomach growl, and although she kept taking furtive glances toward the food, chewed her lip and stood in front of him resolutely.
"Nico," she began,
"I cooked for you tonight," he interjected, before she could begin.
She blinked at his disjointed response.
"Y-yes, I see it. It looks great. But I-"
"I'll have time to start on a Chicken soon" he said quickly, as he left the stove and opened the freezer "And after that, I can start thinking about dessert. I thought I might make some eclairs, but we might not have enough chocolate. Maybe instead, I could-"
"Nico, that's very kind of you. But I have something important to tell you. I need to-"
"Wine to drink, I think," he said desperately, as he slammed the Freezer and ran to the pantry. "We have both red and white, although we have champagne too. We don't have a lot of whisky, but-"
"Nico" , Sasha said softly. He hadn't heard her come near him, but he felt her rough hands on his back "Nico, please listen to me.
"I'll always listen to you, Sasha", he said in a shaky, panicked voice "But I can't listen to you right now"
Sasha said nothing in response, and just continued to rub his back.
"I can't because," he continued, as water gathered in his eyes "Because I think if I do, you're going to tell me that you need to leave. I also think you're going to tell me that you might not come back"
Sasha turned him around, and brought her face to his and kissed him.
She was so sweet, so kind, so beautiful.
She let him go too soon, but it was always too soon. He wished that he could be held in her arms forever.
"Eren needs my help" she said, softly but firmly "It'll be a short operation, in and out. They won't know we're coming, so we have the element of surprise on our side. It's as safe a thing as I've ever seen"
He stood before her petrified, as she ran her hands against his chest, his lips, his cheeks.
He swallowed the bile at the back of his throat, as she stared at him intensely.
Warm, brown doe eyes.
She brought his fingers to her lips and kissed them with urgency. "Before I leave, I need to know that you support me in this. I won't leave without you saying you believe in me."
He breathed in her scent slowly, calming himself, and gripped her hands tightly.
"Never again", he said sharply "After this, leave the corps. Let the others fight. Stay, and live here with me."
She nodded, as she stroked his fingers lovingly.
"Promise me, swear to me, that you'll come back" he said in a tight voice.
She cupped his face and kissed him again.
"I promise"
End of Chapter 2! Please leave a comment, review, or like. Chapter 3 will be posted soon.