A/N: Hope you enjoy it. Happy reading!
3.
Before
Her stomach has started to show. It is still small enough to hide from curious gazes but the unmistakable swell to her abdomen is there. She doesn't take notice of it herself until she steps out of the shower and catches a glance of her naked profile in the bathroom mirror. "Huh," she breathes as she towels off her body and slathers it with moisturizer. She is sixteen weeks pregnant, nearly halfway there.
Not only is the shepherd letting her drive Henry to school this morning, he is also letting him stay the entire weekend. And she is running late, distracted by the physical change of her body. She dresses in her loosest fitting dress, a black one, and matching pumps. At some point in her pregnancy, heels will become a nuisance, so she will wear them as much as she can now. The extra inches they add to her height give her a confidence boost. She grabs her keys and the math textbook Henry left on his visit yesterday on her way out of the door.
She spies the two Charming men as she turns onto the street that houses the loft her son is sleeping in. Well, a Charming and a Mills; same bloodline. They are both wearing khakis and rain jackets today. She doesn't think Henry looks much like his grandfather. Maybe in his smile if you squint. His mother, though, she is all Prince Charming. It's like Snow had nothing to do with creating her at all. Regina lets her mind wonder, for a moment, if the child she carries will take after his father.
Henry settles in the backseat and she's not sure why until David opens the passenger side door and leans inside. He asks her if he can carpool with her to the police station. She glances at her son in the rearview mirror and turns back to the shepherd, the father of her unborn son. The smile she gives him is tight-lipped and so forced that David flinches. "Erm, sure."
During the short drive to Henry's school, the boy animatedly tells them of a dream he had about Emma and Snow White and fairies. She loves this kid with everything within her. Finds herself smiling at the over-the-top descriptions of what he thinks the Enchanted Forest looks like. Despite the fact that it is very telling in his voice how much misses his birth mother and grandmother. She had not been so sure who she was more afraid to tell, her son or David (she would have had to tell him eventually). Now, the shepherd knows. She can only hope that Henry, who is finally coming around to seeing her as his mother and not the Evil Queen, does not hate her for this.
"How are you today?" David asks as they watch Henry disappear behind the double doors of his school.
"Don't pretend to care, shepherd," she says and puts her car in drive.
He doesn't attempt to make further conversation until she is parked outside of the station. The click of his seatbelt is more emphasized in the otherwise silence of her car. "I do care," he says but she only looks at him. Then he is out of the car and he, too, is swallowed by a set of double doors.
Four hours after she drops him off, he shows up at her office unannounced. Where he finds her in the connecting bathroom throwing up her breakfast. In her peripheral she can only see a pair of khakis but knows its him because of the bleach stain near the knee. He hesitates before stepping closer and reaches out to help hold her short hair back as it escapes from being tucked behind her ears. She grits out a thank you when she's done, and he hands her some tissue. He leaves her leaning over the sink to rinse out her mouth.
"I'm not going to starve myself, shepherd," she tells him on her exit. A takeout bag from Granny's now rests among the chaos of what it takes to run this place. They need more places to eat in this town. Whatever is inside, though, smells delicious.
"Thought you might be hungry," he says.
She stares at the shepherd, hand on her stomach. There is no use in hiding it from him, he already knows. So, she nods at him and walks over to her desk, curiosity getting the best of her. She is hungry and will eat just about anything. Inside of the bag is the greasiest burger and fries that she's ever seen, and she probably shouldn't have it after throwing up so violently. But Granny's burgers have always been a guilty pleasure of hers. This gives the shepherd brownie points.
"You can have a seat, shepherd," she says as she clears her desk of paperwork. "I don't bite."
David sits and watches her as she unpacks the bag, elbows resting on his knees. He tries and fails to hide the smirk that crosses his face. They never kissed the night they made their baby on her living room floor. There were plenty of other ways to circumvent their anger. Biting, sucking, scratching. She'd felt the shepherd's lips in other ways. Can see now why Snow keeps him around.
She won't let herself think on such things. She instead wonders if the shepherd already ate or if has forgone his lunch, for the second time this week, just to get her something to eat before his allotted lunch break is over. He has been annoyingly present the last two weeks since the night she ordered him out of her home. She gets in two bites of the burger before he asks, "Have you been sick a lot?"
"It comes and goes."
And she fucking hates it. The morning sickness, which shouldn't be called morning sickness if it can hit you at random times during the day. She has had it worse in her second trimester than her first. Which she brought up at her last appointment and was told it was completely normal.
He tells her that Snow was sick a lot in the beginning when she was pregnant with Emma. She knows he means well but it's not something that she cares to hear right now. Regina nods at the shepherd and hums as if she's interested.
"And your appointment?" She had not invited him to her appointment the following Thursday after he found out. Has not told him that her nurse informed her that she would be able to start feeling their baby move soon. That she declined the nurse's offer to confirm the baby's gender. She should be happy that he wishes to be involved. But given the circumstances, she cannot.
She does not hate him, doesn't even dislike him. She would have had no qualms with the shepherd had he never became Snow White's betrothed. They are enemies by proxy. And soon, they will be parents after one anger fueled tryst. The cataclysmic aftermath of Snow and Emma being ripped out of their lives. He blamed her, though it was naïve daughter who pushed her out of the way.
"The baby's doing fine."
He nods at her and tells her that he should get back to work. It's not until he leaves that she wonders how he got there. If he walked that far in the rain.
The next morning, she finds Henry sitting up against the pillows in his bed reading his story book. His hair is tousled from sleep, and she hasn't heard his footsteps which usually alerts her that he is awake and ready to start his day. He gives her a sleepy smile when he spies her in the doorway. She's been awake for a while now waiting for him to wake and was on her way back to her bedroom after doing laundry downstairs when she decided to peek into his room.
"Good morning, mom," he says, voice still groggy from sleep. He definitely just woke up.
"Good morning, Henry," she smiles at him. "Can I come in?"
Henry nods and turns back to his book. She draws the curtains to allow a little more sunlight into the room, so he doesn't strain his eyes. He doesn't protest when she climbs in bed beside him, and she could cry about that. She watches him flip through his book, a head on his shoulder. They haven't had a quiet Saturday morning like this since before he ran away to find Emma. Before she broke her curse. Before her world fell apart. Before Emma and Snow fell through a portal and she fucked the shepherd.
She enjoys the comfortable silence with her son, the rustle of the pages as he turns them the only interruption. He will be eleven soon and she can't fathom it.
"Henry," she says after a while. "You know I love you, right?"
"Yes, I know," he smiles. He doesn't tell her he loves her back and that's okay. She knows he loves her and will give him time to fully come back around to her.
"More than anything."
He nods and she sits up beside him then, worries her bottom lip. She's not sure how he's going to take the news. Henry looks up at her eyebrows drawing together in confusion. He can always sense her unease.
"I have to tell you something."
"It's okay if you used magic."
She can't help but laugh and shakes her head. "No, Henry. It's not that. I'm…I'm pregnant."
His lips turn downward but not in a frown, they part to form a small 'O' and then he's giving her the widest grin she's received from him in a very long time. And then there's an immense weight lifted from her shoulders.
"I'm going to be a big brother?"
"Yes," she says, a tear escaping her eyes though she's tried her best to will them away.
"That's awesome!" he beams and throws the arm not pressed between them around her. She wraps her arms around him, too. Buries her face in his hair. She loves this little boy more than the world. "Who's the dad?"
"It's complicated, Henry," she can't bring herself to tell him. Not yet.
After
She misses the simplicity of life—or the idea of how simple it could've been with Daniel, had Snow not run her mouth—back in the Enchanted Forest. Before her dark reign. Regina finds herself enjoying the fresh air of Storybrooke on early morning or late afternoon walks now in her almost thirty-third week of pregnancy than she had in her twenty-eight years living here. It is cold today and she embraces it. Hot flashes are an unwelcomed side effect of pregnancy that no one warned her about.
She is nearly to her home when David's truck passes her on the road. He makes no attempt to stop, offer her a ride home. It is so uncharacteristic of him that an involuntary frown tugs at her lips. They are painted red today.
She soon learns the reason for his uncharacteristic actions is that it's not him driving the truck at all. When she finally makes it to her driveway, Snow White is the one leaning against the driver's side door of the truck, waiting. It gives her pause.
It has taken her former stepdaughter nearly one month, twenty-six days since her return to show up at her residence. She has known this day was coming but finds herself completely unprepared in this moment. Regina lets out a breath through her nose. A gloved hand goes to her stomach out of reflex. A confrontation with her is a confrontation with her baby, too. She has found herself doing the gesture subconsciously. More now that she is very near ready to pop.
Neither woman speaks for a long moment. Snow chews on the inside of her jaw but it quickly turns into a scowl when her eyes dip to Regina's stomach. Though it is shielded well from the cold beneath a brown trench coat and black turtleneck sweater, there is no mistaking her bump now. The face her former stepdaughter makes reminds her so much of her father, the king, that it has her stomach lurching. She flinches and takes a step back. Regina has never seen that man in her until now.
"I'm not sure what to say to you," Snow breaks the silence. She has aged since her time in the Enchanted Forest. The youthfulness that she normally exudes has dimmed. It makes Regina wonder what she and her daughter went through after they fell through the portal.
"I'm sure there's a lot you have to say."
"Why are you such a bitch?"
Regina scoffs. "Because of you."
"Because of me?" Snow laughs but it is humorless. "I didn't make you a monster. You did that to yourself."
"You ruined my life, Snow."
"And you ruined mine, Regina!" Snow snaps. "I was ten years old. I made a mistake."
Regina rolls her eyes.
"I didn't kill Daniel, your mother did that. And I sure as hell did not force you into a marriage with my father," Snow says. "You took everything from me. Years of my life running from you, fighting you. My father. Emma—"
"That was the shepherd's doing."
"He did it to protect her from your curse! And now you've taken him, too."
"Your kiss woke him, did it not?" Regina says, more calmly than she anticipated. "I have not taken David from you."
"You fucked him!" The fight visibly leaves from Snow and for a moment Regina is reminded of the young girl she saved all those years ago. "Did you influence him in any way?"
The shepherd was in his right mind when he fucked her, but she does not tell that to Snow White. She knows that the girl is venting, letting the anger talk. It will be good for her to get it all out in one go, rather than carry it.
"No, Snow, I did not."
Snow shakes her head. "I don't believe you."
"Then don't."
Regina throws up her hands in a 'will there be anything else?' gesture. She does not have the energy to let this conversation linger more than it already has. Snow has said her piece. And there is a small human currently pressed against her bladder. When Snow doesn't say anything else, she turns to go up her driveway.
"He has a right to be involved." Snow says to her back. "You can't keep him from his son."
"No one is keeping him from his son, Snow."
"If we have to, we will—"
She spins on her heels and walks the few feet that separate one time lover and wife. A scowl of her own aging her features as she leans her face toward Snow so there is no mistaking her words.
"If you have to, you will what?"
"You are not capable of love, Regina," Snow barks. "You don't deserve it. No child deserves you as a mother."
"Are you threatening to take my son?"
"It is David's son, too."
"Get out of my sight."
Her legs threaten to betray her, but she will not fall to the threats of Snow White. So, when the insipid little girl that she is doesn't make an attempt to move, she conjures a cloud of purple smoke and disappears behind it into the confines of her home. She collapses, depleted of energy, on to her bed where she cries and cries until she can't anymore. Until the darkness takes her.
She wakes hours later, after the sun has set, numb and in darkness. She doesn't want to get up, but her bladder is screaming now, and she needs to eat something. It takes everything within her, all of her energy, to climb out of bed. The railing become a crutch as she descends the stairs and stops at the bottom to collect herself. Alone, in her dining room, she forces herself to eat the leftover lasagna in the fridge from last night's dinner.
This is where David finds her, sitting before her half-empty dinner plate, fork in her trembling hands, tears running down her face. He has made it a point to stop by every day to check on her, although she'd given him the key for emergencies. She wipes her eyes when she sees him but that doesn't stop the tears from falling. Her head stays bowed. It has been since Daniel that he has seen her so completely undone.
"I gave you that key for emergencies," she tries to fake a laugh, but it comes out as a deflated whimper. She hears, rather than sees him pull a chair out and drag it across the floor to be closer to her as her hair hangs around her face.
"She shouldn't have said those things to you."
When she does look up at him, David is sitting much like he had in her office all those weeks ago. The day he brought her that delicious burger from Granny's. Elbows on his knees, leaning forward. He's being very careful, trying not to touch her.
"Would you take him from me, too?"
"Snow was just upset. She didn't mean any of that."
"Not what I asked," her response is short and clipped as she tries to stop herself from crying with slow, deep breaths. In and out. In and out.
"No," he says. "Regina, no. I'm sorry I took Henry. I was angry about the curse, about Emma and Snow. That's not an excuse and I shouldn't have done that. But I promise you that I have not once talked to Snow about taking our son from you. And I'm so sorry, she threatened to take him from you."
She has never known the shepherd to be a liar. And she can see in his eyes that he speaks the truth. That doesn't stop her lip from quivering or the tears from falling again. He has been nothing but kind to her even through her standoffish nature in the beginning of her pregnancy. Her baby has a good man for his father.
"I want him," she says.
"I want him, too."
He does touch her then, places a hand on her stomach. It is not something he has done for the entirety of her pregnancy so far. Something that she has not offered, and he has not asked to do. Her reaction is a visceral one that stems from her days being married to the king. Not wanting to be touched, at least without her permission. But she stops herself just short of pulling his hand away, allows him access to the most sensitive part of her, as of late. She drops her hand to rest flat on top of his and she hangs her head and cries.
to be continued
A/N: Will update soon.